Sikat na sexy star di raw kagandahan, maputi lang

HAHAHA! Ang tataray naman ng mga madre sa eskwelahang dati-rati’y pinapasukan ng isang sikat lang sa telebisyong young sexy actress.

Sikat daw sa telebisyon lang, o! Hahahahaha!

“Since high school, pasaway na talaga siya,” so says our source in obvious reference to this fabulously gorgeous young sexy actress. “Her guidance counselor (a nun, naturally…Hahaha!) still remembered her cavalierly uncouth ways.”

Sang-ayon daw sa mabait na madre, this young woman gave her tremendous headache during her stay in an exclusive school in Kyusi.

“Imagine,” our friend asseverates, “aside from bringing cigarette and liquor in the campus, she, too, was spotted wearing a skimpy bikini inside the car. Hahaha!
Ang taray-taray talaga ng ate mo even before pa.

“Pero ang nakakaloka, hindi bilib sa kanyang beauty ang madreng kabeso namin,” intones our friend.

“She would always say with a straght face na she is not pretty, maputi lang daw. Hahahahaha!

Well, during her early years in the movies when her nose was kind of bulbous (she didn’t have the money for the kind of nose job that she had much later on) and she was plump, she was just an ordinary starlet.

“Wala ngang pumapansin sa kanya noon, di ba?” avers our friend. “Palagi kasing naka-flat shoes kundi man sneakers and was not very particular about make-up. Nito lang namang mapunta siya sa Star Network nag-improve ang kanyang aura at naging super flawless.

“Credit it to her almost weekly visit to her dermatologist who’s injecting glutathione to her skin to give it that flawless and satiny glow.
“Ang ate niya ang talagang flawless at maputi.”

‘Yun na!

Kaya rin daw napaka-flat ng kanyang abdominal area kahit tamadera siyang mag-exercise ay dahil sa magic ng plantsa sa kanyang tiyan. Hahahaha!

Bonggaderic din ang kanyang nosejob. As you guys must have noticed, di na kalakihan ang kanyang ilong. It has been tapered down considerably and is now more suited to a woman. Hahaha!

Pa’no na kung wala na ang siyensya? Would she still look ravishingly beautiful? Hahaha!

‘Yun na!

Mandarayang kagandahan. Hahahahaha!

***

Mabait sa ina kaya sinuwerte

PARA i-adopt sa needs ng kanyang inang si Nanay Licing, pina-renovate ni Kuya Boy Abunda ang first floor ng kanyang fabulous residence sa Kyusi.

If there’s one thing that the king of talk hates, it’s to see his mom having a difficulty in moving around the house.

How is she doing so far?

“She’s good,” he coos in between his hosting stint at “The Buzz.” “But you know how it is when someone has a mild case of senility.

“‘Yun bang one moment she’s talking about this subject matter, then the next moment her mind would wander to another topic, then back again to the original one. The hurt is on us. Masakit tanggapin na hindi na tulad nang dati si Nanay but it’s a thing that we have to contend with. Lahat naman ng tao nagdaraan sa ganitong stage pero mahirap pa rin. It hurts so much talaga.”

Well, I do understand the difficulty that Kuya Boy has to face these days.

I once experienced that myself and it was indeed a most devastating thing to have gone through.

But he’s most fortunate that his Nanay Lesing is still very much around in spite of old age and some ailments on the side.

***

Apektado si Fermin sa di na kagandahang rating ng show ni Willie

HAHAHA! Ferminatics must have been experiencing the worst nightmare in years

Imagine, nagbalik na ngang muli sa telebisyon si Willie Revillame and yet the show’s ratings have ignominiously flagged, much to Fermin’s surprise. Hakhakhak!

Remember, dear, nothing absolutely stays forever. At one point, the law of gravity would have to apply and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

Hahahahaha!

Huwag mo kasing problemahin ang show ng iba. Ang tigbakers mo ng shows ang dapat mong pagtuunan nang pansin because the moment you lose them, you’re as good as stale, malodorous meat. Hahahahahaha!

Beware, lola, you’re old na and you look it very much. Hahahaha!

Baka tigbakers ang Obra ni Lola kapag di ka na teevee host, madir. Hahahaha!

Ipagpatuloy mo kasi ang kaplastikan at ang iyong demonic ways and you surely are going to bid television adieu at the soonest possible time. Hahaha!
Good riddance.

Huwag mo na nga palang pag-text-tin ang mga alipores mo dahil di naman ako naaapektuhan.

Kung maging kamukha kita, doon siguro. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Maraming nanghihinayang sa kadakuan ni Papa

HAHAHAHAHA! Sa very funny naman ang reactions ng mga vaklushi sa isang badminton court sa Kyusi.

Kapag naroroon kasi ang isang moreno at gwapong matinee idol, siksikan talaga ang mga utawzing doon.

Pa’no naman, he looks every inch a matinee idol with his kind of handsomeness that never fades with time. Hahaha!

Maraming taon na kasi ang lumipas at maraming aktor na ang umalis at dumating pero siya’y  nananatiling naririyan at sikat pa rin kahit na sandamakmak na ang nag-attempt na siya’y talbugan. Hahaha!

Good acting at enormous sex appeal kasi ang puhunan ni papa kaya hindi siya nawawla sa eksena kahit na ang dami-raming kwento tungkol sa kanyang behind the scenes ‘activities’, if you know the salient point I’m hinting at. Hahaha!

Di kasi berdaderong ombre si papa at kapag pumapalo raw ito ng bola ay napatitili (Hahahaha!) kapag di niya ito natatamaan.

Hakhakhak! Carry n’yo ‘yan?

Ang matindi pa, ang kanyang entourage ay mga clavecillas rin na ang popogi at hunk na hunk ang arrive. Hahahahaha!

Ang nakababaliw pa, eskalera ang notrisyus ni papa at talbog na talbog talaga ang mga hunk actors riyan na nagpapakita ng kamachuhan kuno sa mga indie movies, regular naman at the most. Hahaha! Hahahaha! Hanggang diyan na lang. I don’t want to comment anymore. Hahaha!

***

Bong-Lani wedding, a cool mix of showbiz, politics & business world

THE much-awaited renewal of vows on May 28 at the shrine of St. Therese of the Child Jesus in Villamor Airbase, Pasay City of Senator Ramon Bong Revilla, Jr. and Congresswoman Lani Mercado is veritably the favorite topic in and out of show business these days.

And why not? Showbiz marriages are considered ephemeral and fleeting.

Ang iba nga riyan, wala pang isang taon na kinakasal ay nag-iisip na kaagad ng annulment.

But the kind of marriage that Bong and Lani has had is something that’s been able to palpably withstand the test of time.

Of course it’s not fabulously perfect but they’ve been able to survive. And in the final analysis, that’s the most important thing.

Anyway, prominent personalities from the field of entertainment, public service and business are the principal sponsors, including former Presidents Joseph Estrada, Fidel Ramos and Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Also among the ninongs are Mayor Alfredo Lim, former senator Ernesto Maceda, former House Speaker Jose de Venecia, San Miguel Corporation Chairman Ramon Ang, GMA Network and CEO Menardo Jimenez, SM Development corp. Vice Chairman and CEO Henry Sy, Jr., GMA Network President Jimmy Duavit, PLDT and TV5 Chairman Manuel Pangilinan, Viva films Big Boss Vic del Rosario and German Moreno.

The ninangs include former First Lady Amelita Ramos, Danding Cojuangco’s wife Gretchen Cojuangco, Congresswoman Cynthia Villar, Congresswoman Georgina de Venecia, Teresita Ang, Mother Lily Monteverde, Filinvest Land Inc. Chairman Mercedes Gotianun, Cebu Congressman Luigi Quisumbing’s wife Elizabeth Quisumbing, Armida Siguion-Reyna, Wilma Galvante and Lolit Solis.

Secondary sponsors are close friends like Philip Salvador and Lorna Tolentino for the candle, Jinggoy Estrada and wife Percy Ejercito for the chord and Cong. Manny Pacquiao and Jinkee Pacquiao for the veil.

Sons Bryan and Jolo as Bestmen, while the Matron of Honor is their daughter Inah del Rosario.

Bridesmaids are daughters Gianna and Loudette. The groom’s men are youngest son Ram, son-in-law Vince del Rosario and even Luigi Santos.

Reception will be at the harbor tent in Sofitel Philippine Plaza, the prestigious five-star hotel in the country with the resort setting and spectacular view of the Manila Bay sunset.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you guys know about our fave movie people at my email ad pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com or at my cell numbers #09994269588 and #09276557791.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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