Pokwang user at amnesiac!

TUNAY namang nakaiirita pala itong si Pokwang na lately lang namin na-realize na isang dyed-in-the-wool amnesiac.

Imagine, during those times when she was being berated non-stop by the abominable Bubonika, we took pity on her and decided to help her out without asking anything in return. After all, Bubonika’s AC/DC style has never been our doings for we would only hit a personality only if we believe he/she deserves it.

At first, we have to admit that she was appealingly exemplary and the paradigm of good PR and graciousness.

In the few times that we had the chance to interview her, she would answer all our questions with raw honesty and downright candidness.

But things had inordinately altered when she was taken in at “Happy, Yippe, Yeheey,” ABS-CBN’s noontime show featuring John Estrada, Toni Gonzaga, Mariel Rodriguez, John Prats, among many others.

The occasional meetings/interview as arranged and scheduled by her very affable confidant Eric John Salut have suddenly ceased to happen and the last time we chanced upon her at “The Buzz,” she was kind of elusive and aloof and seemingly distant.

Why is that so?

Tapos na ba ang gamit namin? After all, Bubonika’s no longer hitting her assiduously and writing those bitingly caustic blind items that were ruining her equanimity and self-esteem?

Ang kapal! Over sa kapaaaaaaalllllllll!!!!!

Now I know why Mr. Willie Revillame is inordinately mad at her. She’s not only an inveterate user but an ingrate as well who’s heartless and cruel.

Pag tapos na ang gamit mo, itatapon ka na lang niya sa isang tabi at keseho kang talaga. Hahaha!

Kunsabagay, I have no one to blame but my credulity and stupidy as well.

How idiotic of me to believe that sincerity and honesty still exist in this business where duplicity happens to be the order of the day. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, I should have listened to my late mom when she told when I was a young boy of six, never to believe or give my heart or trust to people with HEAVILY DISCOLORED GUMS (maiitim na gilagid) because in most cases, they turn out to be such inveterare users. Hahahaha!

How so very, very TRUE!

Look at Bubonic, the titanic user, isn’t her gilagid discolored too? Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Di na maka-ek si Lola, star na kasi si Ate

HAHAHA! Nakatatawa naman ang episode ng mag-lolang ito na dati-rati’y ang dominant figure ay ang lola.

Dati raw kapag dinadalaw ng kanyang mga kabarkada sa taping ang kanyang apo, talaga raw nagtataray si lola. “Naaawa nga kami roon sa bata rati dahil mataray talaga si Lola,” so says our source. “Minsan kasi, kausap niya ang mga barkada niya. Tapos nang makita ni Lola, sinigawan talaga at pinagmumura sa harap namin.

“Hindi kaya niya naisip na pagod at puyat ang bata para sa kanila?

“Bread winner kasi ito tapos pinapahiya niya ang apo niyang 15 years old, five six ang taas, makinis ang balat. Mabait.”

Fast forward tayo sa ngayon. Hahahaha! Wah na maka-ek si Lola nang lumipat sila ng isang town house na binili ng kanyang apo pati na rin ang bagung-bago nilang caru.

Bago rin bumili nang kung anong gamit o kasangkapan si Lola, dapat may personal permission ang kanyang apo. Or else, katakot-takot na lait ang aabutin nila.

Hahahahaha!

How the young actress has indeed veritably changed. Kung dati’y si Lola ang bossing, this time she is nothing but a meek follower of her snooty granddaughter.

Stardom can indeed change a meek newcomer into a fire-spewing dragon overnight. Hahahaha!

Que malo Mara. Hahahahaha!

***

Osang of the year 2011 si Marianita

HAHAHAHA! Mukhang true ang analysis ng isa nating reader sa Remate na ang version ni Rosanna Roces sa taong 2011 ay si Marianita Lukresya na flopzing na ang “Mamaya Na” kaya panic-to-the-max na ang GMA 7. Hahahaha!

Que pobrecita! Hahahahaha!

Totoo ka, I can see the cavalier behavior of Rosanna before in Marianita who is so uncouth and delusory, if not out and out ill-mannered. Hahaha!

Come to think of it, Marianita has the kind of face that Rosanna had sometime in 1994, the year she was noticed by Robbie Tan and was instantly given a lead role in “Machete.” Hahahahaha!

Looking back, kung gaano kagarapal dumakdak si Rosanna noon, ganun-ganon din si Marianita Lukresya sa ngayon.

Also, they practically have the same facial features and build, the only difference being that Rosanna was kind of enhanced by science (the nose and the boobs in particular) while Marianita has had nothing but butt enhancement since sokpalkites raw ang kanyang wetpaks. Hahahahaha!

Di ba naman, Ervic Vejandre? Hakhakhak!

Pero kung kagarapalan ng pag-uugali ang pag-uusapan, close fight sila sa kawalan ng edukasyon.

Oo nga’t nag-aral daw itong si Marianita pero talbog pa ang mga elementary graduate sa kanya kung pomorma off-cam.

Kaya mag-ingat-ingat ka sa milyones mo, lola. Always bear this in mind, what the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh if you would never change your delusional and diabolical ways.

Sa totoo, walang kapatawaran ang ginawa mong pangbababoy kay Bela Padilla na kinulong mo sa CR at dinuro-duro habang pinagsasalitaan ng kababuyan at pinipintasan ang buong pagkatao nito.

Hahahahaha!

Super inggit ka kasi sa kanyang kasariwaan porke’t llebo tres ka na (magsinungaling ka at tatamaan ka ng kidlat right this very moment! Hahaha!) at kailangang on a diet pala-palagi dahil mapaghahalatang tanderaketch ka na. Hahahahaha!

Di nga ba’t takot na takot kang makaeksena si Iwa Moto noon sa Darna dahil freshness siya even if devoid of any make-up whereas ika’y matigas na ang fezlak at kailangan ng ilawan nang walang patumangga. Hahahaha!

Kapal pala ng mukha mong sabihing mas maganda ka kay Sam Pinto samantalang yaya ka lang niya without your heavily foundationed face. Hahahahaha!

Que simbwergwenza! Hahahahaha!

Ayusin mo nga pala ang noseline mo dahil ang laki-laki-laki ng mga butas ng ilong mo. Hahahaha!

Baka mapasok na riyan si Dingdong Dantes, mawalan ka ng hada. Hahahaha!

Babutsh! Hahahaha!

O, sige, magsumbong ka na kay Bubonika para laitin na naman niya si Sam Pinto. Hahahaha!

Subukan lang niya!

***

Di napagbago ng keps ang trip niya

HAHAHA! How so very funny naman ang episode ng young actor na ‘to na dapat ay ilo-launch na to full stardom ng isang sikat na movie outfit pero dahil sa nagkasakit daw sa baga, (true ba itetch, Machete? Hahahaha!) nadiskaril ang papaganda na sana niyang movie career.

Anyway, usap-usapan pa rin siya ng mga vaklushi lalo na’t kay lalagkit daw ng kanyang tingin sa kanyang co-star na gwaping na bagets sa isang indie movie na kanilang pinagsasamahan lately. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, going back to his original papa, hagalpakan pa rin ng tawa ang mga vaklushi dahil kapag nakahubad daw sila before, kalahati lang ng size ng kanyang nota ang equipment nito.

Hakhakhak!

Ano ba ‘yan, Sir Benny. Ayaw ng mga fans! Hahahahaha!

No wonder, di sila nagtagal. Naiilang daw kasi ang gwaping na paparu niya na mas dakota pa ang kanyang mama as compared sa kanya. Hahahaha!

Ang nakatatawa, young father na ang drama ng ombre na ‘to pero ang libido niya ay sa kapwa tarugs pa rin naka-focus. Hahahaha!

Ayokooooo! Hahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you guys know about our fave movie people at my email ad pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com or at my cell numbers #09994269588 and #09276557791.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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