Ang nakaaaliw, nakatatawa at kaokrayang eksena sa FHM 100 sexiest

HAHAHA! Nakatatawa naman pala ang nga kaganapan sa World Trade Center kung saan ginanap ang FHM Sexiest Women of the World kuno some four days ago.

Maliban kina Sam Pinto at Katrina Halili na may K ang body, marami rin ang nagtext sa amin para purihin ang superfab body contour ni Aubrey Miles na hot mama raw talagang maituturing at wala ni katiting na fats sa katawan.

‘Yung isang dating taga-Dos na ngayo’y nasa Tv5 na ay wala ka raw maipipintas sa kanyang katawan kapag nakaharap sa’yo. Tipong work of art, so to speak. But the very moment she turns her back, there goes the obvious flaw. Hahaha!

Sokpalites ang wetpaks ni ate kaya palihim na nagtawanan ang mga otaw.

‘Yun na! Hakhakhak!

Anyway, ito namang isang hot mama natin ay pinalakpakan in fairness dahil may name naman at may arrive sa unang tingin. (Sa unang tingin daw, o! Hakhakhak!)

But the more you look at her, the more you get to realize her flaws.

For one, maganda pa naman siya pero nagsasag na ang kanyang facial muscles at hindi toned ang kanyang balat. Hahaha!

Kulang pa rin siya ng workout dahil di masyadong firm ang kanyang body but in fairness, maputi ang kanyang kili-kili. Hakhakhak!

Meron ding isang girlalu na hindi masyadong familiar ang namezung ang nag-stand-out nang todo-todo dahil unanic (syondak, pare! Hakhakhak!) beauty siya.

I’ve been around for so long but I haven’t come across her name. Hahaha!

At any rate, okay na rin naman sana ‘yung dating Abs Cbn talent na napunta sa Kapuso ngayon pero ang laki ng puson niya. Hahahaha! Konting diet pa, girl.
Hakhakhak!

Ang nakatatawa pa, karamihan daw sa mga chicks na rumammpa ay nameless na, mukha pang mga kulibangbang girls. Hakhakhak!

Pero ang pinakakwela raw ay ‘yung isang asian girlalu na hindi malaman kung papanong napunta sa okasyon na ‘yun. Laughing hyena raw ang mga otaw dahil laglagers na at sagging galore ang wetpaks. Hakhakhak!

Buti ba lang may Sam Pinto, Katrina Halili at Aubrey Miles na nagpasaya sa mga tao. Hahahahahaha!

For if not, ano kaya ang magiging outcome ng nasabing occasion? Hakhakhak!
Maybe it’s going to flop igniminiously. Hakhakhak! Or maybe, just maybe….I don’t know. Hakhakhak!

***

GUMI-GIMMICK BA ITONG STARLET NA SI ANA SOMETHING?

Kaaning naman itong superstarlet na si Ana Something.

Laking gulat ko last Saturday afternoon nang madaanan ni Nong ang Startalk at tiyempo namang ang logo ng Remate ang naka-focus.

Out of curiousity, nag-watch kami momentarily and I was stunned when I saw this superstarlet Ana Something looking positively healthy and talking as if I made everything up.

Puhlleeezzzeee!

Honestly, I had the best of intention when I published that piece about her being afflicted supposedly with cancer.

Imagine, hinanap ko pa sa internet ang picture niya para in the event na mabasa ng GMA ay matulungan naman siya dahil ang sabi nu’ng praning na texter ay bedridden na raw ang starlet and she could not afford any treatment for she was hard-up and dirt poor.

Sa lagay na ‘yun, parang ako pa ang mapagbibintangang gumi-gimmick gayung I don’t kow this woman from Adam.

How gross!

Now, the picture is fast becoming clear to me. It looks like she wants to stage a comeback and they need to stage a little gimmick and I was naive enough to believe their sob story about this woman supposedly being miserably poor and being afflicted with cancer.

Anyway, this demented texter sent a message again the other day (this was before Saturday) to tell us that the family of this Ana Something or Whatever her name was, has supposedly some plans of filing a case in court against us for the item we wrote has supposedly greatly inconvenienced her and put her in bad light.

Ang kapal! Over sa kapppaaaaallllllllllll!

Gimikera ang mga taong ito. Ikaw na nga ang naawa sa kanilang supposedly ay hapless predicament, ikaw pa ang palalabasing nagsusulat ng mga kasinungalingan at unfounded gossips?

Tindi n’yo. Mga bulok ang diskarte n’yo. You want to be talked about at my expense and the tabloid I work for.

Kapal! Over sa kaaapppaaaaaaaallllllll!

Buti na lang, I had the presence of mind not to delete the messages of this doltish scheming woman in my cell. Otherwise, ako pa ang mapagbibintangang gumi-gimmick when all along, I was completely unaware of the identity of the woman she was rabidly talking about.

Hay, naku, never again would I make patol sa mga insurectos na ‘to na gustong gumimik at my expense.

Cheap!

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