Ang walang kabuhay-buhay na radio show ni Ferminata sa Radyo 5…bow! Hahahaha!

HAHAHAHA! Nagti-tripping yata si Abe the other day kaya biglang naisipan niyang pakinggan ang radio show ni Ferminata sa Radyo 5.

Alang-alang sa sining, deadma lang kami habang rumirepeke ang kavivigan ni Ferminata sa kahabaan ng EDSA. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, parang nakatsungki yata si LOLA kaya paputol-putol ginagawa niyang pagpapatugtog ng mga songs na dini-dedicate niya sa mga alipores niyang sila lang yatang nagogoyo niyang makinig sa mga programa nilang walang kabuhay-buhay at papatayan mo talaga ng radyo lalo na’t freak-out ka at wala sa mood. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, inubos ni Ferminata ang kalahating oras ng kanilang radio show sa pagpapatugtog nang kung anik-anik na mga songs. At nang finally ay magbalita naman, you’re better off reading her columns because these are even admittedly more interesting. Hakhakhak!

Kaaning!

Anyway, paulit-ulit niyang diniscuss ang news about Maricel Soriano and her two maids to the point of nausea. Hakhakhak!

What is there left to discuss about them that are not written in the papers already?

Pero wala ngang keber si Ferminata sa katu-talkies tungkol sa kanila at nakarating na kami sa bahay ay rumi-repeke pa rin siya sa tonong monotone. Hakhakhak!

Sa totoo, she droned on like a bumblebee. Hahaha! Wala man lang effort na itaas nang konti ang boses niya. All throughout the show, she was talking in tedious monotone to the point of nausea. Hakhakhak!

Yosi-kadiri!

Now I do understand why her radio show appears to be practically non-existent when you speak of avid listeners. Hakhakhak!

Thirty minutes ka ba namang magpatugtog ng mga putul-putol na mga songs at ni hindi mang lang magbalita ni katiting.

Nang magbalita naman, it was not interesting at all or something hot or new to the radio listeners but a cheap rehassed of her tabloid columns. Hakhakhak!

In fairness, you’re better off reading them (her columns) because it’s plain and simple that she’s exerting lots of efforts to make it readable and interesting.

Unlike ba riyan sa radio show nilang parang hindi man lang sila nagi-effort to please their listeners. Hakhakhak!

Honestly, isa itong pagkahaba-habang batian at feeling ba niya’y sapat na ang kanyang presence para ma-excite ang mga tao. Hakhakhak!

Who does she think she is? Nora Aunor?

Puhlllleeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeee!! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Magnganga ka na lang, lola. Lagyan mo na rin ng apog dahil matindi ang ilusyon mong the mere sound of your voice would more than suffice to keep the listeners glued to their seats and enormously entertained. Hakhakhak!

No wonder, rating-less and radio show mo and all because of the fact that you’re delusory and is not putting yourself in the shoes of your listeners so you would know how to keep them entertained.

Booorrrriiiing! Hakhakhak!

Yun na!

***

Mag-dyowa rati, syofatiders na sa ngayon! (hahahaha!)

NAKATUTUWA naman ang metamorphosis ng dalawang aktor at akres na ‘to na during their youth ay minsang na-link sa isa’t isa as lovers. Hakhakhak!

Super hot personalities sila ng kanilang panahon at talaga namang pinipilahan ang kanilang mga pelikula ng kanilang dyed-in-the-wool followers.

But two decades later, iba na ang drama nilang dalawa. Hahahaha!

Of course they are still close but not as lovers anymore but as amiga intima, if you know the salient point I’m hinting at. Hakhakhak!

In a way, hindi pinagbago ng panahon ang kanilang closeness pero nag-evolve nga lang ito sa ibang level.

Nag-evolve raw sa ibang level, o! Hakhakhak!

Kung dati’y lovers sila ( I’m referring to sexual love my dears…Hahahaha!) this time mas effect na sila bilang mag-amiga. Hakhakhak!

To be honest about, join silang dalawa sa pag-go sa mga seedy bars within the Metropolis at nage-enjoy talagang manood habang parang mga ahas na gumigiling-giling ang mga MDs (macho dancers vagah! Hakhakhak!).

Ang nakatatawa, simpleng blouse at pants lang ang wearing ni Ate samantalang naka-pekpek shorts si Kuya with matching sando na body hugging talaga ang dating.

Hakhakhak!

Sayang na lalake, daks pa naman at may arrive pa rin kahit llebo kwatro na. Si Ate naman, gandaretch pa rin sana, ‘yun nga lang, di niya maintained ang kanyang dating katawan at kagandahan. Hahahahaha!

Pa’no kaya kung hahada na si Kuya? Join din kaya si Ate? Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Mga pamhintang durogs sa Las Vegas, trip mahada si JC Regino

DAHIL flawless at Taiwanese-looking, paboritong porma-pormahan pala si JC Regino ng mga bisexuals nu’ng time na nasa Las Vegas pa siya at nagtatrabaho sa isang bangko roon.

“Hindi nila matukoy na Pinoy ako, Kuya,” JC intones. “Feeling nila, Taiwanese ako o Chinese kaya.”

Anyway, marami raw mga bisexuals roon na nagpo-proposition sa kanya sexually.

“Not for anything else, Kuya, bit I’m scared of the gay people abroad,” confesses JC who’s latest single release under Viva happens to be his own composition titled ‘Ang
Buhay Ko’y Para Sa’yo.’ “Masyado kasi silang agressive and on top of that, ang lalaking tao. Hahahahaha!”

Anyway, Pinoys are not supposedly half as scary kaya marami rin daw siyang kabesong mga bi na Pinoy kahit sa Las Vegas.

“Di naman ako nakikipagtalo sa mga tripping nila, Kuya,” he asseverates.

“Respetuhan lang naman ‘yan. Basta ang mahalaga, supportive sila sa mga shows namin ni Daddy.”

At the moment, he’s looking forward to his first solo album and he’s already readying some compositions that he intends to make used of.

Well, Viva records si definitely one of the biggest recording outfits in the country today kaya nakasisiguro ang kanyang Mommy Madel na maaalagaan siya rito nang husto.

Oo nga naman.

***

Depressed about love

PRIOR to her being in love with this hunky matinee idol who is rumored to be gay, this intelligent young lady was veritably oozing with vim and vitality.

She was always sparkling and vivacious and very generous with her smiles to the working press.

But something seemed to have gone wrong when she fell in love with this brown-skinned matinee idol who was a lot older than she was.

For some baffling reasons, she became less communicative and would sit in one corner apparently lost in her dismal thoughts.

Asked why she was suddenly losing a lot of weight, she would tell anyone who would care to listen that she was purportedly on a strict diet.

But some people who were privy to her innermost feelings had the notion that she was getting enormously upset with the way her boyfriend was treating her cavalierly, and would give her the cold shoulder during those times when she was missing him badly and wanted him to be around to keep her company.

How so very sad but it’s true. The moreno actor seems to have found enormous enjoyment in the company of his male friends than her comely girlfriend who is having the feeling that she is purposely being left out by her good-looking boyfriend.

Well, she is still young, intelligent and a looker to boot, I guess it’s more than about time that she gets to realize her folly and look for somone who would give her the kind of attention and loving that she ostensibly needs and craves for.

It hurts to admit the truth but the man she is falling hopelessly in love with is more focused with his ‘affairs’ with men, specially the one who lives in America who’s purportedly very good-looking and half-Latino.

Move on, girl. It’s never too late to gather your wits and look for someone more manly who would give you the kind of attention that you need and would never prefer the company of his male ‘friends’ over you.

***

Loveless pero okay naman daw si Diet

FOR someone so appealing and hunky, Diether Ocampo is surprisingly unattached and very much single at the moment.

Bigla na lang kasing nawala sa buhay niya si Rima Ostwani na matagal din niyang nakasama. To be honest about it, akala nga nang nakararami ay sa kasalan mauuwi ang intimacy nila.

“Matagal na kaming di nagkikita,” he says in obvious reference to his former flame. “Years na ba? Di ko na matandaan.

“About a year na siguro kaming di nagkikita,” he avers.

Sang-ayon pa rin sa isa sa mga lead actors ng “Guns & Roses,” sa tinagal-tagal daw niya sa show business, “Ito ang pinakamatagal na wala akong girlfriend,” he asseverates.

“Nakakamiss rin ‘yung mga ganong moment.”

At any rate, marami ang kinikilig sa kagwapuhan niya on a nightly basis sa action soap nilang Guns & Roses kung saan villain ang role niya sa tambalang Robin Padilla at Bea Alonzo.

Bagama’t kontrabida siya, (but not naman the despicable variety in fairness…Ha- Hahaha!) kilig to the bones pa rin ang mga vaklitas sa kanya dahil papang-papa namang talaga ang kanyang dating.

‘Yun na!

***

Suko na sa show business

HE was once one of the hottest hunks in flickerville with his well-toned physique, appealing brown complexion, along with a very masculine face that most faggots would die to have as their mate.

He, too, was a man of intriguing reticence and was not palpably attuned to the hypocristy that was rampant in the kind of profession that he had chosen to be a part of.
In a way, his brief but intriguing presence in the business was comparable to a thief in the night that came in stealthily and left in the same manner with barely a trace or a whimper.

His girlfriend, who later on became his wife, tried to follow him abroad but she could hardly cope-up with the enervating demands of her husband’s new profession, perforce, she had come to the practical decision of leaving him to his new world and came back to the glamor and glitz of show business that she was more at home and comfortable with.

Going back to her estranged husband, he did try to ride on with the eccentricities in the business for a while but it suffocated and almost choked him, he decided to go back to his old job and lead a simpler existence.

His estranged wife, on the other hand, is now presently shacking up with this half-Britton, half-Filipino actor who may be good-looking and tall but is, admittedly, not intrinsically as good a person as her husband.

Anyhow, being together again is something that is next to impossibility specially so now that her husband has come to adopt himself fully well to his new life and has got no plans whatsoever to go back to the plastic world of show business and become a working actor once again in the process.

Another thing that she finds most depressing is the fact that the man in her life at the moment is not half as goal-oriented as her estranged husband.

For one, he is a drifter and seems not to have any fixed plans for the future.

It also pains her enormously a lot that that she has ceased to be a much sought-after commodity in the business and is now considered fortunate if she happens to have an occasional soap to her liking.

But that is show business. In here, nothing is admittedly permanent except change.

So, when you’re doing well and is having a burgeoning career, make the most out of it. For once an opportunity is lost, it’s lost forever and no amount of trying could posibly bring it back any longer.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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