Babalinang halimaw may mga kababuyan na namang ginagawa sa internet

GRABE talaga ang baboy na baklang ito na ipinaglihi kay Satanas. Imagine, pagkatapos na maglagay sa internet ng ad tungkol sa pagiging pimp daw namin na ang ginagamit pa ng baklang timawang ito ay ang mga babies kung inosente at walang kinalaman sa kanyang diabolical doings, may bagong website na namang ginagawa ang uncircumcized na pedophile na ‘to na ang tindi ng halitosis.

Hahahahaha!

Anyway, ayaw matulog ang gabi ng cheap na gurang na ‘to na super smelly hindi lang ang buong pagkatao but most specially so his super stinking breath that’s comparable to a pigsty. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, this old goat of a fag could eat like a famished anaconda. Hakhakhak!

And when he’s eating, he removes his stinking dentures even if he’s eating in a decent resto or a press conference for that matter. Hahahahaha! How gross!

At any rate, napakabastos at di marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob and duldulic vaklung na ‘to na pinatira ko sa bahay namin for 27 long years (off and on that is).

Imagine, because of his diabolical character, not even one of his aging brothers and sisters could stomach his deplorable personality.

But out of emphaty and compassion, I allowed him to stay with us even if he doesn’t know the meaning of the word pakikisama.

Anyway, more than two years ago, I had an ailment that has got to do with my chronic hypertension.

I was hospitalized for barely two weeks but far from commiserating with my hapless predicament, he was gloating fiendishly and was silently diabolically exulting for he had the misconception that I would not be able to survive my ailment and would be a goner before long. Hakhakhak!

Ilusyunadang foul-smelling na bakla. Hahahaha!

You could just imagine his surprise when I came home barely some two weeks after. A little bit rickety, yes, but a lot better than before for he was expecting that it would take me a long time to recover from my ailment just like his deceased father who was already in his 80s when he passed away. Hahaha!

Anyway, the old pig is now finding it a hard time to survive for he could not find a welcoming home to go home to where he could act like a veritable prima donna and do nothing but look at his ugly face in the mirror the whole day while pulling some tutsang from his smelly nose. Hahahahaha!

Sa totoo, this ugly fag happens to be a most unfortunate person for he doesn’t know any household chore.

Pinatitira mo na nga gratis et amores, ikaw pa ang magsisilbi sa kanya because this old fag doesn’t know any domestic chore at all. Hahahahaha!

Whatever, he’s now back to his old rottenly miserable existence.

And since misery loves company, he wants us to feel the same way. Hahahaha    !

This doltish, miserably crabby, and rottenly smelly fag hardly ever sleeps.

He would send untakably filthy messages in the morning, in the afternoon and even late at night and up to the wee hours in the morning.

This old goat veritably stinks. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, he has created another website for me where he’s going to spew more concocted filths about me coming from his very pervertedly sick and demented mind.

Okay lang, lola. Just don’t let me catch you anywhere because I’m going to make you pay dearly for all the untakable filths that you’ve heaped on me at the net. Promise!

‘Yung kinalat mong I’m supposedly earning truckloads of dough out of pimping was the most ignominious thing I had to go through.

For a sicko you may be, but some equally perverted people like this demented fag, believed him.

Kaya ingat ka Vavalina. Just don’t let me catch you anywhere, huh?

‘Yun lang!

***

Fatally attracted ang gurang na si Marianita kay ‘Double D’

GRABE pala ang pagmamahal nitong tanders na si Mariannita kay Dingdong Dantes.

Siya ang local version ng Fatal Attraction ni Sharon Stone na pinalabas sa Hollywood at naging global hit when it was shown all over the world many years back.

Inasmuch as she had other men before, the likes of Ervic Vejandre and Mark Herras (classic daw ang churvahan nu’ng dalawa dahil si TM pa ang go sa pad nu’ng ombre at churvahan sila to-the-max, unmindful of the hawklike presence of the actor’s father who was my schoolmate in Bicol…Hahahahahaha! cheap na gurang! Hakhakhak!), Double D is admittedly the greatest passion of her life.

Imagine, out of intense insecurity specially so when younger women like Bela Padilla would come into the orbit of Dingdong’s existence, the old bitch becomes rabid and mad as an evil witch can ever be. Hahahahahaha!

Classic sa kademonyohan ang ginawa niyang kahayupan kay Bela na kinulong talaga sa CR at pinagsalitaan nang kung anu-anong kababuyan na di masisikmura ng isang taong may breeding at pinag-aralan.

Ang tindi talaga ng lenggwahe ng babaing ito na ang mga fansitas ay text to-the-max sa amin almost on a daily basis but, who, the hell, cares?

Ang idol nilang baboy ang i-text nila at pagsabihang tigilan na ang pagre-reyna-reynahan sa Siyete dahil gurang na siya kaya wala ng lalaking magkagusto. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, na-trauma siguro si Pacman sa gurang na aktresa kaya out na ito sa bago niyang show at puro mga sariwa at makakatas ng young actresses ang ginetlag niya, the likes of which would make Marianita green with envy. Hahahahahaha!

Imagine, Rhian Rammos na ang kinuha, along with another equally young actress young enough to be Marianita’s niece. Hahahahaha!

Gurang ka na neng. No wonder, inaatake ka ng matinding insecurity the very moment a young actress is being fancied by Double D. Hakhakhak!

Tanders ka na kasi kaya umaalog-alog na ang ‘yong baba out of immense insecurity once a fresh faced actress comes along and you sense that your boyfriend is kind of intrigued with her. Hahahahahaha!

Kung si Iwa Moto nga ay kina-insecure-ran mo during your Darna days all because she projected freshness and naive innocence considering that she was delineating a contravida role while you’re supposed to be the lead actress. Hakhakhak!

CHEAP! Over sa pagka-cheeaaaapppp! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Magpahinga ka na Attitude Queen dahil malapit ka nang mabura sa industriya dahil sa kapraningan ng iyong pag-uugali.

Good riddance! Hahahahahaha! Babutsh!

***

Young actress di pa man sumisikat osla na agad!

PITIFUL naman ang naging outcome ng career ng petite young actress na’to na nalaos na kaagad after starring in some soaps that didn’t create a most impressive mark with the televiewers.

Dati-rati talaga, medyo gumaganda na ang kanyang career as a solo actress but it went down the drain once again when she was paired off with her qoundam leading man whose fantaserye was not doing well at the ratings.

After that abysmal showing, her career has definitely suffered a big blow and she now appears to be in the doldrums while the ham hunk actor is still being given new projects.

Ang lakas talaga ng bubonic na young hunk na ‘to at ang mga leading-ladies lang niya ang naaapektuhan ang career samantalang siya’y okay na okay pa at patuloy ang magagandang projects.

Hahahahahaha! Sino ba ang benefactor niya roon? Hahahahaha!

Kahit pala regular lang ang nota mabenta pa rin basta’t nagkapangalan na at may arrive ang mukha Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

***

Robin Padilla di na maawat ang pagbongga

SWERTE talaga itong si Robin Padilla. Imagine, patuloy ang pagbongga ng action-serye nila nina  Bea Alonzo at Diether Ocampo na “Guns & Roses” na eskalera talaga ang rating as compared sa walang kabuhay-buhay na “Mamaya Na.” Hakhakhak!

Kahit na fullblast ang promo campaign ng GMA, to no avail pa rin dahil Chuck Perez talaga ang arrive ng lead actress nilang bulok ang pag-uugali.

Anyway, unexpected talaga ang response ng mga tao sa action serye na ‘to na realistic ang mga lines at ang twist and turn ng plot ng istorya.

Suffice to say, parang hardcore action na ang dating ng mga new episodes ng action serye na ‘to dahil sa matitinding routines na ginagawa ng character ni Robin.

On the side, super ecstatic ang aktor na patuloy ang pagdagsa ng endorsements lately at ang pinakabago nga ay ang pagkuha sa kanya ng Cherry Mobile bilang official endorser ng kanilang new line of rugged, shockproof phones.

Labelled in the 90s as “The Bad Boy of Philippine cinema,” he is now the exact opposite of that image.

Focused, spiritual and determined, he has successfuly achieved the kind of credibility and charisma that would make him an effective product endorser.

At any rate, believe si Robin sa bago niyang endorsement in the sense na affordable ito with dual SIM capabilities and other unique features.

Robin, incidentally, now joins the ranks of Cherry Mobile endorsers John Lloyd Cruz and Kim Chiu.

Still on Robin, bow siya sa pagiging supportive ng kanyang esmi in the sense na bumili kaagad ito ng sampung units para ipamigay sa kanilang mga kasambahay.

‘Yun na!

***

Direk Quark Henares pahinga muna sa mga intriga

NANG pumutok ang balitang naka-set ng magpakasal ang kontrobersyal niyang mom na si Vicki Belo, somewhat bitter and antagonistic ang naging initial reaction ni Direk Quark Henares, which, in a way, is just but to be expected considering the age gap of their mom and her would be husband. Hahahahaha!

Eyebrows were raised from Batanes to Tawi-tawi, when he made the shocking statement that he could go to the extent of becoming violent if and when Hayden Kho would exploit her mom in the event that their marriage would come into fruition. Hahaha!

But Direk Quark is now a lot more composed and not half as hysterical as before.

“Let’s talk about my 5th film, ‘Rakenrol,’ na lang,” he says with a banter.

Rakenrol, he says, is his most personal film and he’s glad to be collaborating with one of his most intimate friends, Diego Castillo, in doing it.

“Diego and I have probably done everything music-wise together. “we’ve hosted radio shows, co-directed videos, and written some articles about music.

“We were even in a band together.”

Rakenrol, incidentally, stars Jason Abalos and Glaiza de Castro, and Diether Ocampo in a very special role.

Ketchup Eusebio, Alwyn Uytingco, Ricardo Cepeda, and Matet de Leon, among many others are also in the movie to provide support.

Incidentally, the movie has won the Audience Choice Award in LA, along with the Top Asian Film Site.

Film Business Asia called the film, ‘a lightly comic charmer that’s sustained by its likeable leads and easy-going, big-hearted style’.

***

Notes ng Kapuso hunks tinalbugan ng milya-milya ng Kapamilya tarugs!

HAHAHAHAHA! How amusing naman ang response sa mga notes payable ng competing hunks sa magkalabang network na parehong nagbuyangyang ng bird sa internet. Hakhakhak!

‘Yung tall, dark and handsome hunk ng Kapuso network ay butt of jokes dahil sa notes nitong naging hazy blues ang arrive dahil ang theme song daw Marianita ay Hahanapin Ko.

Whereas ‘yung bisexual hunk sa Kapamilya network ay confidence personified na ibuyangyang ang notes dahil well-endowed siya. Hakhakhak!

Which one would you prefer, a real hot-blooded guy na katinga-tinga ang nota or ‘yung eskalera ang tarugs na kapwa ko mahal ko ang drama? Hahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave movie people at pete_ampoio@yahoo.com or at #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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