Insecure sa kabonggahang narating ng mga utol

SHE used to be the one of hottest actresses at the network she once reigned supreme in.

With her rivetingly stunning kind of beauty, not to mention her formidable acting skill, satiny skin tone and a body to die for, she was indeed a prized acquisition worth keeping.

But something went wrong along the way and she made the hasty and unsound decision of moving out of the network where she was unquestionably the uncrowned queen and is now ‘languishing’ at the teevee network where she has moved in, in a rare moment of being piqued.

Anyway, things are not as prodigiously favorable as they used to now that she’s working  for this relatively popular teevee network that is quite popular with the masses but is not indubitably famous for building up talents like her quondam studio.

In a numbing moment of disillusionment, she went out alone and that’s how this sickening game of milking moneyed politician and well-connected businessmen has come to a prodigious start.

Honestly, she finds it hard to accept that her older sister who is almost obese and with the face of a cow to boot, as per some entertainment columnists’ snooty allegations, is now leading a life of pampered luxury with her new paramour who is a veteran politician with a fat savings account in the bank.

To make things all the more terribly depressing, their eldest, also an actress and a striking beauty to boot, is still very much visible in the business. Glamorous and hauntingly beautiful, in spite of her liaisons with different influencial men, most of which are even predominantly older than their father. Hahaha!

But what the beautiful actress finds unquestionably upsetting is the sad fact that she’s the most financially unstable in the family, her beauty and youth, notwithstanding.

So, right now, she’s having a much-talked-about sexual relationship with this controversial personality who may be a bit older but definitely hunky and virile.

His only down side lies in his innate predilection for kinky sex, the prime reason why his mate for quite sometime now, an aging beauty and health guru, has decided to let go of him for she could not stomach his penchant for weird and kinky sex. Hahahaha!

A perversion that the relatively young actress seems not to mind one bit for she’s perennially under the mind-boggling influence of drugs every time they would have some mind-blowing sex at the five-star hotel they love to frequent.

Well, you can’t have everything in this world. The trouble is, the relatively young actress fails to see how enormously blessed she is in having a most considerate husband whose eyes are averted to the opposite direction from his wife’s emasculating peccadilloes.


Vavalinang baliw daig pa ang halimaw sa kapraaningan

WALANG pagbabago itong baklang korteng half-moon ang retokadong mukhang si Vavaling Joey ‘Ngetpalites’ de Castro.

Imagine, for 27 long years this diabolical creature stayed in our house (off and on that is) and devoured every food on our dining table (my God, how the pig could eat like a famished anaconda…Hahaha!) and took advantage of my kindness and magnanimity by way of staying in our house gratis et amores and usurping the little connections that I have on the side.

But typical of this abominable vaklung, when I was bedridden and hospitalized more than two years ago because of hypertension, he was gloating and very much ecstatic for he had this feeling of malediction that I would never survive the kind of ordeal that I had, and he would be the one taking over my radio hosting chore at DWIZ, along with other opportunities that I had which eluded him like the plague for he was not in any half as educated as I was.

Hahahahaha! Poor vaklung, nag-iilusyon, K-less naman. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, he had the shock of his life when I came out of the hospital very much in one piece and was not the mentally impaired human being that he had envisioned I would be. Hakhakhak!
Kapal-kapal talaga ng mukhang aborigines na baklang timawang ito.

Of course I didn’t give him the chance to take advantage of my ‘idiocy’ again.

Right then and there, I threw him out of the house and told the thick-skinned faggot never to return again.

Anyhow, knowing him to be a mindless sycophant, he did to me what he did before to Madam Jojo Galang.

I honestly didn’t mind it if he would repeatedly send some vicious text messages about me because I knew that was how he would hideously operate.

But to say some nauseatingly abomidable concoctions about my two children Christine and Kristoff was something I could not veritably stomach, much more tolerate.

Anyhow, this uncircumcised ( Pocholo Avila vagah! Hahaha!) dolt was able to master the wicked art of inundating you with obscenely obnoxious messages that even the dregs of society would find grossly appalling.

Indeed, this ugly beyond belief vaklung appears to be sick in the head for he seems not to have the luxury of sleep and would devote every waking moment of his morbid existence in enudating us with his palpable neuroses.


Hayan, I’ve given you a dose of your own despicable medicine old bag of a hag.

I guess it’s only a matter of time before you get reconciled with your idol Satan. Hakhakhak!
You deserve to be in hell, Lola. Hakhakhak!

Good riddance, dolt!


Sensational si Andi

HAHAHAHA! She has become a veritable star in her pregnancy.

I’m referring, of course, to the star of the hour Andi Eigenmann who is said to be 18 weeks pregnant.

Sa totoo, everywhere I go, people from all walks of life are dying to know who’s the father of her would be baby.

Sino nga ba? Siyempre, out na sa mga contenders (out na raw sa mga contenders, o! Hakhakhak!) ang very vocal sa pagsasalitang marami raw papa si Andi na si Albie Casino.

Pero ang say ng mga intrigera, ito raw ‘yung anak ni Madam Laarni Enriquez na ang erpat ay ang dating Presidente Erap Estrada.

Well, inasmuch as he was the one who was rumored to be having an intimate relationship with Andi, the guy is reportedly out of the country so he could not be reached for any enlightening comments.

Pasasaan ba’t malalaman din natin ang katotohanan.

Basta as things stand, wala namang angal si Ms. Jacklyn Jose na alagaan ang kanyang anak dahil single mother rin naman siyang naturingan nang ipagbuntis niya si Andi.
‘Yun na!


Idol si Erpat pero gusto namang maiba ang packaging

IMPRESSED ang big boss ng Viva records na si Vic del Rosario sa kakaibang husay sa pagkanta ng bagong talent nilang si JC Regino. Ibang-iba rin kasi ang hitsura nito as compared sa mga kapanabayan niya sa ngayon sa local tin pan alley na parang mga takot maligo at soo marumi ang mga balat. Hakhakhak!

Ayaw ni Bubonika nang ganyan. Hakhakhak!

Imagine nga naman, kari-release palang ng album nila ng kanyang erpats na si Idol (April ‘Boy’ Regino, sino pa ba? Meron pa bang iba? Hahahahaha!), more than half a million na kaagad ang nabenta.

Di ba nakabibilib?

Kung ganyan ba naman kapositibo ang feedbacks sa album ng talent mo, hindi ka ba gaganahan?

Kaya naman balak ni Boss Vic del Rosario na gumawa kaagad ng follow-up album but this time, solo ito ni JC.

“Sabi po ni Boss Vic, pakakantahin raw niya ako rito ng mga type of songs na nababagay sa edad ko at nauuso sa ngayon,” he asseverates.

“Mas feel ko po kasing kumanta ng mga mellow at pop-rock selections dahil ‘yun talaga ang nababagay sa boses ko.”

Ibig ba niyang sabihin at gusto na niyang maiba sa packaging ng kanyang erpats na si April Boy?

“Idol ko po ang erpat ko pero gusto ko po namang maiba sa kanya,” he points out methodically.

“Kung mananatili po kasing tunog April Boy ang mga kanta ko, parang lagi po akong nasa shadow ng father ko. One thing na hindi po healthy para sa tulad kong nagsisimula palang sa industriya,” he avers.

Anyway, out in the market pa rin ang IdolStar album nila ni April Boy at on promo ang song na Ang buhay Ko’y Para Sa’yo na sarili niyang composition.


Barakong=barako pa rin si Binoe

POOR Marianita L. (L as in Lukresya…Hahahahahaha!). Talagang kahit na nagtopless na siya’t lahat, to no avail.

Below sea level talaga ang ratings ng kanyang Mamaya Na ( Ang tsakang soap opera…Hakhakhak!) at parang may sakit itong nakahahawa na pinakaiiwasan ng mga tao.

In stark contrast, ang tindi talaga ng following ng soap nina Robin Padilla at Bea Alonzo at Diether Ocampo (in a very special role ang gwapings at katilam-tilam ang kamachuhang si Ejay Falcon) dahil napaka-down to earth ng flow ng estorya nito at walang mga bornok na tumutula-tula tulad ng tsipanggang Mamaya Na. Hakhakhak!

Sa true, kahit na maghubo’t hubad pa ang tanders ng si Marianita, to no avail. Walang binesa ang payat-payatan niyang pangangatawan sa bilugan at oozing with sex appeal na katawan ni Bea Alonzo.

Period. Ayoko ng gurangita. Hahahahahaha!

Kahit na magka-pulmonary tuberculosis ka pa,lola, wah effect pa rin sa mga televiewers for the simple reason that you’re not young anymore and already way, way past your prime. Hahaha!

Period. Ayoko ng lola. Hakhakhak!


Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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