Cristine Reyes iniintrigang buntis?

DAHIL sa kanyang ‘undiagnosed’ ailment na tunay namang nakaiintriga, marami ang nagpapalagay na in that highly interesting stage lang naman daw ang utol ni Ara Mina kaya laging masama ang pakiramdam nito sa set ng “Reputasyon.”

Kapag tinatanong daw kasi sa kanyang interviews, lagi-laging bukang-bibig nitong gusto na raw niyang magka-baby.

Well, she’s too young to have a baby.

Malayo pa ang tatakbuhin ng kanyang career kaya dapat lang sigurong dito muna siya mag-focus.

After all, she’s a very good actress at madaling mag-jibe in ang kanyang personalidad kahit na kanino pang leading man.

‘Yang pagbubuntis ay madali lang naman. But once a career is gone, it’s gone forever.

Bear that in mind, young lady.

***

Mereseng pinaglumaan na nang panahon: Umaatikabo pa ang ilusyon ni Imelda Papin

NAKATUTUWA naman ang ilusyon ng dating Jukebox Queen na si Imelda Papin.

Imagine, it’s been 34 long years since her songs made it big at local tin-pan-alley but surprisingly, she seems not to know the salient fact that time has passed her by and the kind of songs that she used to record are no longer in vogue.

Hahahahahahaha!

Kung noon ngang mid-80s na makasama namin siya ay kinahahabagan talaga namin siya every time she would stress to the hosts of the teevee programs she was guesting in, na nakataas siyempre ang mga kilay, huh? (Hakhakhakhakhak!) na ang itatawag sa kanya ay undisputed Jukebox Queen at a time when jukeboxes were no longer the in thing even then.

Hahahahahahahaha!

During the 80s, it was, beyond reasonable doubt, the era of Kuh Ledesma and company and her kind of songs were practically dominating the scene with such ferocious intensity while the songs of Imelda and her ilk were being avoided like the plague.

Hahahahahahaha!

But if there’s one thing with Imelda, she was the paradigm of feistiness and tenacity even then in as far as her career was concerned.

Di talaga siya marunong sumuko at ipinaglalaban talaga niya ang kanyang punto de vista, which, in a way, is also good. Hahahahahahaha!

So, to be able to join the classy bandwagon of singers that was being headed then by Ms. Ledesma, she recorded a compilation of some cover versions under her Emerald records which, in fairness, she was able to do some justice.

At para mas bongga, she commissioned the services of a good choreo para maturuan siya ng mga dance steps na magagamit niya in promoting her signature song I’m Stuck With You. Hakhakhak!

In fairness, nagawa niyang magsayaw mereseng puro kaliwa talaga ang kanyang mga paa. Hakhakhak!

She was a lot younger then kasi and in tip top shape the natural way.

Meaning, she could eat to her heart’s content and not gain any excess poundage.

But that was before, now’s a lot different since she’s already more than 50.

Pero iba nga ang drive ni Imelda. Kung dati-rati’y hirap na hirap siyang magbawas ng timbang, sa presscon ng “Protege: The Battle for the Big Break” ng GMA Network, nanggulat talaga siya nang humarap sa press na trim and firm just like the way she was during the mid-80s.

Ang kaso, the passing of years seem not to change one bit her overpowering delusions. Hakhakhak!

Hayan at panahon na nina Sarah Geronimo, Rachelle Ann Go, Angeline Quinto, among many others, but she still deludes herself with the false belief that she’s still on top of the heap. That her kind of popularity hasn’t diminished one bit. Hahahahahahaha!

Kung si Ms. Claire dela Fuente ay nagawang umeksenang muli when she made an auspicious comeback at music ville barely a year ago, si Imelda ay super attempt na maka-eksenang muli but unfortunately, her gigantic efforts have proved to be futile if not totally abysmally disastrous.

Alam n’yo kung bakit? Class naman ang image ni Ms. Claire and her voice reminds everyone of the appealing quality of the late Karen Carpenter’s mellifluous voice.

Eh, si Imelda, okay naman sana siya dahil magaling namang talaga.

Ang problema lang, na-stuck-up na siya sa kanyang baduy image na nag-work before pero deluvic na ang arrive today. Hakhakhak!

Kumbaga, hindi na maka-relate sa kanya ang audiences dahil hindi niya carry ang magpaka-esekola mereseng ilang taon na rin naman siyang naka-base sa Tate. Hahahahahahaha!

How pathetic, di ba naman?

Kahit ang kanyang accent ay trying hard pa rin at walang binesa sa superfab diction ni Ms. Claire who’s been in our country for the longest time and would only go abroad occasionally in connection with some pleasure trips and singing engagements. Hakhakhak!

Kaya tigilan na ‘yang dramang Ms. Imelda raw ang dapat na itawag sa kanya.

My God! Always remember, respect is something that’s wholeheartedly being given and not something you impose upon people.

Kung karapat-dapat kang tawaging Ms. Imelda, let them give it to you but you should never impose it.

Tring hard pa rin ang dating mo, ning and it’s time that you let go of your delusions because it’s not going to work anymore this time.

Ipagpatuloy mo na lang ang ang pagda-diet mo at baka maging matronly ka na naman. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Look at Ms. Claire, hindi siya trying hard na mag-impose nang kung anu-anong kaeklatan pero nirerespeto siya dahil her kind of personality intrinsically commands respect.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Sa Sepember 4 nga pala ang premiere ng Protege kung saan mapanonood ang American accent ni Ms.Imelda Papin (na nakapaninindig balahibo ang pagka-TH…Hakhakhak!) at ang appealing enunciation ng convent bred na si Ms. Claire.

Gala presentor rito ang Atenistang si Dingdong Dantes, at Journey Host naman si Ogie Alcasid at Reality Host naman si Jennylyn Mercado.

Kasama nina Ms. Claire at Imelda ang iba pang mentors na sina Janno Gibbs, Jaya, Jay-R, Rachelle Ann Go, Aiza Seuerra, Joey Generoso at ang Mr. Hitmaker na si Rey Valera. Protege Judges sina Louie Ocampo, Bert de Leon at ang entertainment guru na si Joey de Leon.

***

Pati nota’y retokado hakhakahak!

KA-AMUSE naman ang drama ng lalaking ito na walang takot talagang maghubad dahil ang kanyang di kalakihang nota (di raw kalakihan, o! Hakhakhak! how shocking considering that he stands more than six feet) ay superfab na talaga sa ngayon because of the wonder of collagen injections…Hakhakhak!

On top of that, his nose has been lifted in a higly meticulous manner by his lover and soon to be wife, thereby giving him a veritaly superfab appearance.

Ang nakatatawa talaga, marami ang namintas sa kanyang not so impressive dick when it was shown in all its brazen glory by way of those sex videos that he himself had taken by way of installing some strategically hidden cameras in the room where he did his sexual acrobats with her unsuspecting victims. Hahahahahahaha!

Kung regular lang ang kanyang equipment ay hindi naman kataka-taka dahil asian lang naman ang kanyang lineage. Hakhakhak!

‘Yung erpats nga niya’y barely five feet four inches lang. Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

***

JC Regino hanga sa popularidad ng erpats na si April

TALK of the town ang paggaling ng erpats niyang si Aprl ‘Boy’ Regino mula sa cancer ailment nito na dahil lang sa isang pure organic young Barley grass powder na, ironically, ay sa Pinas pa niya natagpuan gayung this one’s made in New Zealand.

“Good karma si Dad dahil he’s a very good father to us and an ideal husband to mom.

“Kung ‘yung ibang sumisikat ay nagbabago at nagiging barkada-oriented, kapag wala siyang shows at iba pang commitments, he’s just home with mom and us kids,” he ventures.

Anyway, bilib si JC sa bisa ng Barley grass na siyang nagpagalng daw sa akala nlay terminal ailment na ng kanilang ama.

“It was pretty scary!” he avers. “Natulala nga si mommy when she learned about it pero cool na cool lang si dad at tipong philosophical sa kanyang sakit,” he intones.

Anyway, happy raw siyang bongga ang response sa album nila ng dad niya kung saan ang single on promo ngayon ay ang awitin ni JC na Ang Buhay Ko’y Para Sa ‘Yo.

***

Vilma’s beauty goes skin deep

A LOT of people are wondering why Queenstar for all season Ms. Vilma Santos has considerably maintained her lofty stature as one of the highly revered actresses of Philippine cinema.

Simple lang siguro ang sagot dun. She’s levelheaded and intrinsically a real pro.

Kumbaga, mahal niya ang kanyang showbiz career kaya in return ay minamahal din siya nito.

Kita n’yo naman, ilang dekada na siya sa show business and yet offers are still pouring in like crazy.

So far, five movies no less ang naka-line-up para kay Queen Vi.

Una ‘yung joint venture ng Regal at TV5 na pagtatambalan nila ni Robin Padilla. May project din sila ni Ate Sharon Cuneta under Star Cinema, plus another movie with Eugene Domingo and Aga Muhlach.

Of course nandyan pa rin ang movie nila ni Kim Chiu under Star Cinema kung saan ang isa sa mga fave directors ni Ate Vi ang magdi-direct.

Considering the fact that she’s ultra-busy with her numerous enervating commitments in Batangas, she never fails to squeeze in some movie-making ventures.

Ikaw na ang maging Queenstar for all season.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09053195407 and #09339220112 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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