Cristinelli Salazar Fermin numero unong user at ‘orocan!’

NAKATATAWA naman itong tsakang si Cristinelli Salazar Fermin ng rating-less na Juicy na nu’ng na naririyan pa kami ay umaatikabo ang positive feedbacks at sandamakmak ang ad placements dahil merong aliw factor at may sense naman at makabago ang mga co-hosts nina Alex Gonzaga at IC Mendoza.

With the advent of the bubonic tsaka Cristinelli chuva, nababoy nang husto ang show at pinandirihan nang panoorin ng publiko.

‘Yun ba Madam Perci Intalan ang pinagkakamatayan mong ipalit sa amin? Aba’y wala man lang binesa at karapatang umaagapay sa akin.

Hakhakhak!

Mapapel lang ang tsakang matronang ‘yan na parang sugpo ang ilong at ang tiyan ay parang nakalunok ng sanlibong pakwang Ilocos.

Hahahahahahaha!

Puhleeeezzzeeeee! Ang talent niyan ay panahon pa yata ni Padre Damaso nauso kung kaya pinagtatawanan sa bagong milenyo. Hakhakhak!

Akala naman kasi ni Madam Perci ay nakahukay na siya ng gold mine nang pumayag ang plastikadang mukhang merafinang (mukhang merafina raw, o! Hakhakhak! would you know what that is, Crispy Cristy? go to Bicol and you would surely know…Hahahahaha!) na magtrabaho sa burgeoning na sana nilang network.

Ang kaso, pinasukan ng nuknukan ng kamalasang si Fermin kaya ang ending, daig pa ang dinaanan sila ng sanrekwang tsunami kaya ang papaangat na sanang arrive ng kanilang network ay minalas at nagkawindang-windang. Hahahahahaha!

Mantakin mong napakahusay na ni Mo Twister at meron talagang aliw factor, what his bravura way of hosting and fearless aura, but everything is wasted because of the cheap presence of this nagngangangang matrona who’s being avoided like the plague by most televiewers and ad men by virtue of her antiquated usage of the deluvic words kita and kata. Hakhakhak!

But ignominious Crispy is holding on to her huge salary and other benefits primarily because Madam Perci is backing her up like a dolt.

Hahahahaha!

Anyway, isa pang dahilan kung bakit pinandidirihan si Fermin, ang mukhang pusang pinakain ng good for one week na cat food ng kanyang mabait na amo kaya namamaga ang mukha, ng mga utaw ay ang obvious na kawalan niya ng kredibilidad.

Mantakin mong halos araw-araw ay nilalait niya sa kanyang cheaply written columns that reeks with nauseating ignominy ang naririto sa Pinas ngayong si Nora Aunor  tapos ngayon ay sinisipsipan niya to the max ang aktres na para bang wala lang nangyari sa pagitan nilang dalawa. Hakhakhak!  Anyway, I’m sure na ang exaggerated blind items na sinusulat niya before pini-feed ng isang kamag-anak ng aktres na sanggang dikit niya.

How horribly gross! Hakhakhak!

Ang nakapandidiri pa, siya ang kinuhang head publicist ng TV5 gayung basang-basa na ang kanyang papel sa mga Noranians na kulang na lang ay ipakulam siya noon sa tindi ng pagka-imbierna. Hahahahahaha!

Mantakin mong halos on a day-to-day basis, Madam Perci, ay wala nang ginawa ang mukhang manika ng mangkukulam mong alaga kundi laitin at okrayin ang superstar sa kanyang nagmumura sa pagka-cheapanggetch na columns na reeking with katas and kitas (Hahahahahahaha!), and yet she’s been able to lick back all the incredibly appalling concoctions that she’s written about her and is now the head PR drum-beating for her one-season series with your network?

Where art thou is credibility?

Is it now gone to the dogs? Hakhakhakhakhak!

I’m sure it is.

Kaya ‘yung nga Noranians na ayaw nang matulog dahil sa kalalait sa akin all because I happen to become brutally frank and honest with my feelings about Nora Aunor, aba’y si Lola Cristy, the ignominious tupperware matrona, ang dapat na inyong nilalait, not me.

We are living in a world of democracy and I have the innate right to write about my innermost feelings.

Paumanhin, pero I now have come to my senses and I have come to realize that the Queenstar for all Season happens to be the right person for me to admire.

At least since the mid-80s, perennially consistent si Ate Vi sa pagpapakita ng kagandahang asal sa akin kahit na nga I have written truckloads of unsavory things about her in the past.

Nakabibilib kasi ang ganitong taong very much amiable pa rin and every bit educated kahit na nakakanti mo sa ‘yong columns pero once na makaharap mo siya ay talaga namang grasyosa at matinong kausap.

Kung galit sa akin ang Noranians, ‘yun lang sigurong one-track-minded at kulang ang pag-iisip.

After what I’ve gone through, could they blame me if I have gone to the other side of life where the grasses are a lot greener and the people more accommodating and transparently nice and friendly?

Ang mga fans kasi ay reflection din ng kanilang idolo. Look at Fermin, numero unong plastikada kaya mga oro can din ang mga nakapaligid sa kanya. Di ba naman, Mr. Perci Intalan? Hakhakhak!

Basta ako, I have finally found the right person to admire.

It’s veritable music to someone ears if he/she would be called by his/her first name. It’s a kind of becoming recognition.

Kumbaga sa presscon, di ka GAKA dahil kilala ka at wini-welcome ng mga tao.

Sana naman, Nora, ay matutunan mo ito bago ka mag-sisenta.

Hindi maganda ang ginagawa mong pandedeadma sa mga taong di mo gaanong kilala.

It’s best to be polite and say hi.

In my case, sa tagal ng pagsuporta ko sa ‘yo, (tatlong dekada ‘yun, mama) don’t I deserve a little recognition?

Pero iba ka nga. That, I have come to realize a long time ago but I tried to brush it off and have it completely ignored.

Not anymore this time, my dear. I have found my niche in the sun and being a confessed Vilmanian makes me totally happy and absolutely fulfilled.

Period. Ayoko ng tsakang tulad ni Orocang Ferminata. Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Laarni Lozada live at Teatrino

TALENTED and oozing with innate charm Laarni Lozada, Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2’s Grand Star Dreamer, will perfor nm live at Got Fridays @ Teatrino on September 2, 8pm. Joining her onstage are her PDA scholar friends Hansen Nichols, Cris Pastor, Miguel Mendoza, Bunny and Chivas Malunda, and Pilipinas Got Talent’s Jovit Baldivino.

In a way, reunion concert niya ito bale with her friends at Pinoy Dream Academy na minsa’y naging part ng ating teevee viewing routine for quite some time.

Got Fridays @ Teatrino, incidentally, is presented by Music Museum in cooperation with OPM and Backroom Inc. Freddie Santos directs the show.

Tickets at P500 are available at Ticketworld and Music Museum.

Anyhow, since winning PDA Season 2, Laarni has already released a self-titled debut album Laarni Lozada with the hit single Kung Iniibig Ka Niya that was used as the theme song of ABS-CBN’s “Kambal Sa Uma.”

Her revival of Roselle Nava’s romantic ballad “Bakit Nga Ba Mahal Kita” was the soundtrack of “Precious Hearts Romances’ Alyna.” She was one of the guest singers of a Ryan Cayabyab album titled Scholars Sing Cayabyab.

Even as a kid, Laarni already knew that she wanted to sing for the whole world to hear. Always been a big dreamer, she hopes that with her voice, she could inspire and touch people’s lives with her music.

Blessed with such a versatile voice that she can belt out any music genre like pop, classical, kundiman, broadway, jazz, alternative, rock, R&B, and religious songs with equal fervor, she hopes to better her craft and stay longer in the industry specially so now that she’s under the protective wing and mentoring of Backroom.

“I claim it. I can make it happen and it will happen,” is the daily mantra of this star dreamer from Isulan, Sultan Kudarat.

For inquiries, please call Backroom, Inc at 4351108 and 4351120 or email at backroomtalents@pldtdsl.net

***

Sam Pinto super excited sa participation niya sa ‘Tween Academy’

MAY gulat factor si Sam Pinto nang makarating sa kanya ang feedbacks sa participation niya sa Tween Academy ng GMA films at SMDC.

Paborito kasing pag-usapan ng mga bagets actors sa nasabing youth-oriented movie ang controversial kissing scene nila ng bagets na si Elmo Magalona who delineates the role of the introverted Enzo who loves to spend time with his gadgets and his two friends Kara and George (Barbie Forteza and Bea Binene).

“It was no big deal naman talaga in as far as Elmo and I were concerned,” she coolly states. “It was only a scene that we have to do and we did it after eight takes because there were some technical complications that we had to deal with.

“Now, if others find it something worth-talking about, that’s fine with me.

‘That’s cool,”she says replete with an engaging smile.

Honestly, young men are not her bailiwick but she was impressed with the way Elmo carried the scene with such maturity.

“He’s cool din,” she admits, “although siyempre, it was kind of disconcerting dahil may mga tao and we have to focus on the script and what Direk Mark was saying.”

As a whole, doing Tween Academy: Class of 2012, she says, has been quite an expe- rience. “It was so nice hanging out with Joshua and Jake, nandyan siyempre ang friend kong si Alden (Richards), and Bea and Barbie and the rest of the gang,” she animatedly states.

May premiere night nga pala sila today at SM Megamall Cinema 9 at 7 p.m. pero ang showing talaga will be on August 24 in theaters nationwide.

***

Tabatsinang diva nagdiwara sa Tate kaya dinedma ng mga utaw

KA-AMUSE naman ang erratic airs ng mahusay sanang singer na ‘to. Imagine, feeling Celine Dion daw nang mag-go sa L.A. kaya dinedma ng mga otaw.

Hahahahahaha!

Come to think of it, ang kanyang diva attitude rin siguro ang dahilan kung bakit di na siya paboritong i-guest sa mga musical-variety programs ng isang sikat na network.

Nakaiirita nga namang mag-diva-divahan ka gayung di ka naman isang big-named personality talaga although admittedly, she really has got what it takes to be a real much sought-after entertainer.

Isa pa ring hindrance sa kanyang pagsikat ay ang kanyang mala-pugilist na arrive.

Hakhakhak! Kung naging ombaw siguro siya, I’m sure na kakabahan sa kanya si Manny Pacquiao. Hakhakhak!

***

Bongga ang chemistry nina Toni, Zanjoe sa ‘Wedding Tayo, Wedding Hindi’

KUNG bombastic ang naging outcome ng tandem nina John Lloyd Cruz at Toni Gonzaga by way of the certified blockbuster movie na “My Amnesia
Girl,” marami ang naniniwalang this soon-to-be-released Star Cinema produced movie “Wedding Tayo, Wedding Hindi” featuring the classic tandem of Toni and Zanjoe Marudo is another surefire hit at the box-office.

Kaya naman pala wala ng ilang factor sa pagitan nina Toni at Zanjoe ay dahil sa some two years ago, she was Zanjoe’s first leading-lady when he did his first movie with Star Cinema.

Anyway, kung sa movie nila ni John Lloyd ay medyo demure at toned down ang hitsura’t pananamit ni Toni, this time agaw-eksena ang kanyang wardrobe collection bilang school teacher na naging loose nang maging Japayuki.

“Totoo ka,” Toni agrees. “Full blown Japayuki ako rito na wah na values.”

Nakatutuwa nga raw ang kanilang movie, Zanjoe says, in the sense na adventures and misadventures ito ng dalawang couple na ang isa’y mag-aasawa palang, whereas ‘yung isa ay matagal ng kasal.

Kasama nila sa pelikulang ito sina Eugene Domingo at ang katilam-tilam na hunk na si Wendell Ramos.

Under the amusing direction of the enormously gifted and talented Joey Javier Reyes, makaasa tayong tongue-in-cheek na naman ang approach ng direktor na kung minsa’y laid back ang style of direction.

Wedding Tayo, Wedding Hindi is slated to detonate in some giant cinemas all over the land on August 31.

See you there!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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