Dati Nilalait to-the-max… Ngayon halos himurin na ang tumbong ni La Aunor

HAHAHAHAHA!

Kahit kailan, walang kredibilidad itong si Bubonica, da matronang ac/dc at mukhang pera. Prior to the news that Nora Aunor would be doing a teevee special for Manny Pangilinan’s network, she would write about the actress in a most denig- rating and exceedingly vitiolic light.
Lait kung lait ang drama ng mukhang nagngangang host kuno ng Juice-less. Hakhakhak!
Sa totoo, she wrote the most obnoxious thing about the actress and it lasted for many a good year.
Araw-araw, to the nth degree talaga ang lait niya kaya iritang-irita ang mga avid fans ng superstar all over the Philippines.
Naroong isulat na dahil sa addiction daw nito sa casino ay halos mamalimos na raw
ang legendary actress kung kani-kanino.
At one point, nag-grocery raw si Guy sa Tate na mga maliliit lang na noodles ang binili at toothpaste.
Dismayado raw ang mga nakakita dahil all the while, they had the impression that she would avail of some pretty expensive goodies since she was the superstar.
Sa totoo ka, nasulat na niya lahat ng mga estoryang kaokrayan tungkol kay Ate Guy, some of which were downright repulsive in nature, and yet typical of this two-timing matrona, hayan siya at nagpi-feeling close na naman ngayon sa superstar.
At least ako, I’m honest enough to admit that right now, I favor the star for all seasons more by virtue of the fact that she’s consistently nice every time I get to meet her inadvertently.
I was a fan of the superstar for so long but she seemed not to recognize or take notice of me every time I would see her. Kaya naman mas nagustuhan ko si Ate Vi dahil binigyan niya ako ng importansya. And recognition would be on her face every time I would get to meet her.
Para sa isang tao, ‘yun ang pinakamahalaga.
I could never forget how warm she was to me when I was still with Juicy (the rating one, huh? not the one hosted by the Cuckie Dreyfuss Bubonika…Hakhakhak!) and we paid her a visit at her office in Batangas.
Nang mapuna niyang ‘yung main hosts lang ang nagi-interview sa kanya, nagtanong talaga siya kung kami raw ba ay wala?
I was moved beyond words. Totoo pala ang sinabi ni Mother Gilled Villasana when he was still very much around. Sweet si Ate Vi and she knows how to make you feel good and important.
At para sa mga fans o kahit kaninong tao pa, it’s very comforting when you are treated like a human being and given the kind of recognition you deserve.
Going back to Bubonika, pagkatapos na intrigahin si Ms. Claire dela Fuente sa kanyang cheaply written columns, (what do you expect nga naman sa mga ngangaera? Hakhakhak!) heto ka’t si Bela Padilla naman daw ang pinagti-trip-an.
Hay, naku, super inggit lang ‘yan dahil lalong nadidiin ang gurangga niyang alagang si Marianita L. na naghihingalo na ang soap niyang Mamaya Na kaya inagahan dahil talung-talo ng Guns & Roses. Hahahahahaha!
Parang shows mo ‘yan sa TV5, lola, na di lang nilalangaw, inaamag pa. Hakhakhak! Para ba naman kasing nagnganganga ang main host, sino pang magtitiyagang manood diyan? Hakhakhak!
Have your pugnose fixed, lola. Di na kagandahan ang arrive mo because of that.
Avail of a good tummy tuck, too, so you would wear those body-hugging clothes that you so long to wear.
In your dreams, lola. In your dreams! Hakhakhak!

***

KAKAIBA ANG ARRIVE NI MS. AIKO

Dahil di ako nakapasok sa tindi ng sakit ng ulo ko sa walang tulugang deadlines (Hakhakhakhakhak!), I had the chance to watch Reputasyon featuring the bombastic
Cristine Reyes, Rayver Cruz, Jason Abalos and Ms. Aiko Melendez in a pivotal role
tha’s indeed awe-inspiring.
Sa totoo, hindi nagkamali ang think tank ng ABS CBN nang kunin siya to delineate the role of the evil Catherine Villamayor who’s making life miserable for Agnes delos Santos (Cristine Reyes’ character).
She’s good. Really very, very good.
Bawat eksena niya kung saan lihim na pinakikita ang kanyang scheming, two-timing ways, superb talaga ang kanyang acting. Tipong another villainess is born.
Ang maganda pa, may touch of class ang kanyang pagka-kontrabida but menacing and out-and-out evil nevertheless.
No wonder, the ratings are becoming most encouragingly impressive as days go by.
Kay Ms. Aiko pa rin, maraming shots sa Reputasyon na kahawig siya ni Sophia Loren. Classic talaga ang kanyang beauty, it’s unfortunate that Mr. Right seems inordi- nately elusive.

***

PEACHIE GUIO-GUIO IMPAKTA PA RIN!

It’s been more than two decades but this cavalier woman named Peachie Guio-guio has remained uncouth and diabolically condescending to the press.
Sometime in 1988 when Angelu de leon and Bobby Andrews were still reigning it out at GMA-7, terror sa mga presscons ang di kagandahang babaeng ito.
At ngayong nasa TV5 na pala siya, she’s still very much at it – ang mambaboy ng mga press people na feeling niya’y hindi belong sa kanyang scheme of things.
Anyway, namula at napahiya nang husto ang kolumnista ng Remateng si Anthony Solis
nang bastusin-bastusin siya ng babaeng ito at itinaboy na parang aso mula sa function room ng Shang-rila Edsa.
‘Yung kababuyan niya sa GMA noon, siyang pinaaandar na naman niya ngayon sa Cinco.
Ang cheap!
Over sa pagka-cheeeaaaappppp!
“Pinahiya talaga niya ang mga press na di imbitado sa presscon ni Nora Aunor, Pete,” confides Anthony, “samantalang sinabi ni Perci Intalan ng TV5 na open naman daw sa lahat ng press.”
Anyway, kasama rin daw ni Guio-Guio ang isang nagngangalang Mike Cruz at Judy Something sa pagtaboy sa uninvited press.
Ang kakapaaalllll!

***

NA-TRAUMA SI KUYA

HAHAHAHAHA! Di kasi naging discreet sa kanyang sexual activities kaya hiding galore sa ngayon ang isang gwaping na young actor na balak sanang makitalbugan sa hubaran sa mga indie movies.
Kung tutuusin, may K naman talaga siya dahil toned na ang kanyang katawan at muscled ito in the right places.
‘Yun nga lang, naunahan ng kanyang homosexual activities ang kanyang dream na makilala sa mga bold and daring indie movies. Hakhakhak!
Pa’no naman, nakipag-orgy raw sa mga silaham, one of which happened to be a bold actor of the 90s, kaya nang kumalat sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan, sa laki ng kanyang kahihiyan, missing in action na ito.
What a pity!
Sayang na pangarap. He could have made it big had he become a little bit more dis- creet.
Kaya sa ngayon, di na talaga siya mahagilap.
Baka naman nagpapalipas lang ng init. Hahahahahaha!

***

MARIANITA PARANG TITA NA NI HEART

HAHAHAHAHA! Kaya pala super inse si Marianita L. kay Heart Evangelista dahil kapag magkatabi pala sila ay obvious na ang discrepancy when it comes to age. Hahahahaha!
What a pity. Hearts body is ostensible firm and trim while Marianita’s a little bit plump. Hahahahahaha!
How pitiful naman. Huhuhuhuhu!
‘Yun na!
Anyway, slim na ngayon sa Mamaya Na si Marianita pero kung si Heart pala ang katabi niya, tigbakers siya since slimmmer ito dahil regular na nagwo-work-out.
Hahahahahahahaha!
Go to the nearest gym or slimming salon, lola. Baka ma-disappoint ang Papa Dingdong mo. Hakhakhak!

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