Shalaletch power-tripper?

MARAMI ang nag-text sa amin the other day para iparating ang power-tripping ways raw ni Shalaletch lately na ang pinatatamaan ay ang napakabait at very objective entertainment columnist na si Jobert Sucaldito na siyang may hawak sa project ni Gov. ER Ejercito, ang “El Presidente: The General Emilio Aguinaldo Story.”

Nagbalita raw kasi ng mali sa show nilang walang credibility ang syorak na teevee host kuno tungkol sa fave actor ni Jobert na si Aljur Abrenica at ikinorek naman ito ng aming colleague sa kanyang column.

Biglang nag-react daw ang feeling invincible na rating “Walang Tulugan” chaka at nilait ang may breeding (take note of the word Shalaletch – may breeding! Hakhakhak!) na DZMM host.

Ang da height, ipatatanggal daw niya sa ABS-CBN si Mother Jobert. Hakhakhak!

Really? Ang mukha mo ang ipatanggal mo sa “Juice-less” dahil lalong pinandidirihan ito ng publiko dahil sa ‘yo. Hakhakhak!

Ano ba naman kasi ang kredibilidad ng missing link between the man and the ape chuvanes na ‘to na ipatanggal kuno si Mareng Jobert sa pinagtatrabahuhan nito and all because he sided with the very appealing Aljur?

Hakhakhak!

Instead na magtaray at magalit, pa-facial ka na lang, ning, at isama mo na rin ang iyong deluvic ang face (just like you, lola…Hahahahahaha!) na lola para di kayo pinandidirihan sa inyong chakistic show. Hahahahahahaha!

You bet! you have the face that’s not suited to be seen on national television. Why don’t you apply at the Circus. You’d be inordinately appreciated there, dahlin’! Hahahahahaha!

***

Vilma Santos says rivalry with Nora’s okay as long as it should be treated with little respect & maturity

VILMA Santos looks radiant and fresh as she enthusiastically entertains the working press who travelled all the way from Manila to Batangas just to clear with her some intriguing issues with regard to her renewed rivalry with Nora Aunor who is in our country to do some special projects with TV5 and Scenema Concepts’ epic film El Presidente: The Emilio Aquinaldo Story featuring Governor ER Ejercito in the title role.

“Forty to fifty years na yata kami sa industry,” comely Ate Vi says coolly, “and I’m glad na ‘yung dating rivalry namin bumabalik.

“That’s good for the industry,” she adds smiling. “Kaya lang, lagyan naman sana ng konting maturity.

“Wag naman sana ‘yung scenario nu’ng 70s.

“Marami na tayong pinagdaanan. I guess a little maturity should be in order.”

Anyway, one of the issues that are being ignominiously thrown in her direction lately is the fact that she supposedly didn’t fulfill her promise to her kumareng Nora Aunor that she would fetch the superstar from the airport the moment she would be here in our country.

“Ang sabi ko, I’ll do that kapag tinawagan ako,” she asseverates.

To finally quell the issue, the star for all seasons says that Ate Guy is welcome any time in Batangas.

“Basta willing akong ipasyal ang kumare ko rito sa Batangas. Kung available siya at free na sa kanyang mga commitment, definitely, I’ll invite her para magpunta sa Batangas.”

Is she happy now that Nora’s back in show business?

“Of course,” she says radiating sincerity. “Matagal naman siyang nawala, she deserves what she’s getting right now.

“Sana’y iwasan na ang mga intriga dahil, like I said, di na kami mga bata.

“Honestly, ang hirap ng posisyon ko. If I say na I’m really happy she’s back, sasabihin ang plastic.

“But we had the chance to talk in L.A. Sabi niya, manonood daw siya that time ng premiere night ng movie namin nina Luis at John Lloyd.

“Sa totoo, na-miss ng industry si Nora Aunor,” she stresses with becoming sincerity.

“You see, eight years na nawala sa industry si Mareng Guy,” she avers. “Ako naman, fourteen years na pala sa public service.

“Let’s welcome her back!” she emphatically states. “She deserves it.

“I’m pushing on my 36th year already,” she ventures in all humor. “Let’s just enjoy life and find happiness in the success of other people.”

Would she consider herself fulfilled supposedly at the age of ’36’?

“I am!” she enthuses.

At any rate, now that Nora’s back in the business, she says that her position is not altogether pleasant.

“Pag sinabi kong I’m happy for her, sasabihin nila ang plastic ko,” she elucidates.

“Honestly, na-miss talaga siya ng industry,” she emphatically states for the umpteenth time. “Admit it, malaking bahagi talaga ng industriya si Nora Aunor.

“Come to think of it, eight years nawala sa industriya si Mareng Guy. Ako naman,” she adds reminiscing, “14 years na pala sa public service.

“Le’s welcome her back!”

Does she approve of the revival of her rivalry with the superstar?

“If it will make the industry healthy,” she intones, “why not?”

And speaking of the movie industry, she says that, honestly, she never wants of movie offers. The only problem lies in her hectic working sched as a public servant.

As a matter of fact, she was offered an indie movie that eventually went to Cherie Pie Picache. “The indie movie Isda was offered to me. I was interested but the thing was they had a timetable to follow and I just didn’t fit in.

“The very reason why I was able to accept this project with Kim Chiu is the fact that Star Cinema’s the one making the necessary adjustments,” she avers. “Kumbaga, naiintindihan ng Star Cinema ang demands ng work ko, sila na ang nag-a-adjust sa sched ko.

“Sa totoo lang, kung kaya ng sched ko, I really want to do at least one movie a year.

“I miss showbiz!” she dreamily states. “It’s been my life for almost fifty years already.”

What about politics?

“Honestly,” she sincerely states, “wala talaga akong ambisyon sa politics.

“Maybe it was just meant to be.”

Is it true that she harbors some ambition to run for the presidential race in the near future?

“Honestly, di ko kinaiinggitan ang president natin,” she deliberately states. “I understand the enormous responsibility that goes with it.

“Simpleng buhay lang naman talaga ang gusto ko,” she intones. “Gusto ko mag-travel at least once a year with my family.

“Di ko siguro pahihirapan ang sarili ko,” she points out in earnest.

“But if it’s meant to be, so be it.

“Di ko talaga alam,” she emphatically states. “Di ganon kadali ‘yon.

“Besides,” she intimates, ” we’re not getting any younger.

“Oo nga’t maganda ang posisyong mapupunta sa ‘yo pero kung kapalit naman ang kalusugan mo, what’s the use, di ba?”

Does she maintain  a particular diet to keep herself in tip top shape and beautiful and young?

“Kinakain ko lahat but in due moderation,” she confesses.

“Lahat ng sobra, masama,” she avers.

“Honestly, I’m comfortable with my life at the moment.

“Mga anak ko, maglambing lang sa akin at i-kiss ako, di may energy na naman ako.

“Ginasolinahan na naman ako.

“Kahit ano’ng ganda mo kasi kung problematic ka, makikita ‘yan sa mukha mo.”

Very, very true!

***

Marami palang gay following si Papa Marco

HAKHAKHAK! Tigbakers ang isang cell namin at ayaw nang mag-open for the simple reason that it had been deluged or inundated with truckloads of messages courtesy of Marco Alcaraz’s sreaming and shrieking fans who were visibly titillated with Papa Marco’s delectable machismo when we featured him some two days ago in our column. Hakhakhak!

Si Marco, (yes, I agree with you guys that he’s undeniably hunky and papalicious in that super succulent photo that we made use of…Hakhakhak!) incidentally, ang leading man ng superfab ang kagandahang si Maxine Magalona sa Dramarama sa hapon ng GMA from Monday thru Friday right after Eat Bulaga.

Anyway, perfect foil sa strong personality ni Ms. Maxene Magalona (who’s tall and svelte and comely pala in person) ang character ni Marco na talaga namang lalong nagiging hunky ang arrive as time goes by.

Incidentally, Bea Binene gets her break of a lifetime in this soap, along with the devastatingly cute protege of Kuya Germs Jake Vargas who’s ostensible the silent crush of most entertainment writers who have this leaning and craving for succulent dish.

Hoy, mga ate, bawal’yan. Hakhakhak!

August 15 na nga pala ang simula ng obra na ‘to ng multi-awarded director na si Joel Lamangan.

***

Sad and desolate

MAGMULA pala nang i-break siya ng isang petite young actress ay nawalan na ng ganang mag-ayos ang barakong hunk na ‘to na may foreign blood.

Hindi raw talaga maintindihan nito kung bakit in-abandon siya ng batang sexy actress (actress in the sense that she really can act unlike her older sis who’s so boba. Hakhakhak!) gayung minahal naman niya ito at sa kanya lang umiikot ang mundo ng tall, dark and erotically handsome hunk.

Well, sa relasyon, di lang di ochong (di ocho raw, o! Hakhakhak!) nota ang mahalaga specially so if the chick you’re falling in love with happens to be young and indubitably attractive.

Maghanap ka kasi ng stable job, kuya. Then and only then could you find happiness in a young and ambitious woman like her.

Hindi lang nota and be all and end all of a relationship. Maraming factors pa ang involved.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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