Angelica Jones namumunini sa anda kaya nananabang parang baka!

AS ALWAYS, plastic na plastic ang emote ng mag-inang tabatsinang sina Angelica Jones at madir niyang si Beth Jones, na pinaka-tupperware na taong nakilala ko sa show business, nang mag-guest siya sa “Startalk” last Saturday.

In fairness, maayos naman ang hitsura ni Angelica that afternoon but there was no mistaking the added poundage that she has ignominiously gained out of eating like a pig in a pigsty the past few months.

Imagine, the last time we paid her a visit in Laguna, she was eating, no, devouring, (Hakhakhak!) all of the fatty foods on the table like a hungry dog.

Nakataas pa ang isa niyang paa at nakakamay na binabanatan ang masesebong mga pagkain. Hakhakhak!

No wonder, wah effect na ang pagwo-workout niya, that is if she’s still into it these days, dahil bumigay na siya sa kanyang food-tripping episodes just like her mom whose eating like an anaconda, too! Hakhakhak!

Ang nakapagtataka lang, bakit ba parang gutom na gutom ang mag-inang ito samantalang marami naman silang pera kaya hindi naman nagugutom? Hahahahahaha!

Okay na lang sanang lumafang na parang hangapera itong plastikadang si Beth Jones, na nu’ng bagu-bago palang sa show business at gustong maka-penetrate sa show business ang ‘English-speaking’ na anak ay astang ma-PR at pagkabait-bait, pero itong si Angelica ay dapat lang naman sigurong mag-control ng kanyang voracious appetite dahil her almost obese body doesn’t fit in to her image and age as of the moment.

Sa guesting nga nilang ‘yun sa Startalk, di napigilan ni Joey de Leon ang punahin ang pananaba ni Angelica.

Hahahahahahaha!

Well, come to think of it, ngayon palang naman kasi talaga nagkakamal ng malaking pera ang plastikadang mag-ina kaya ganon na lang ang kagustuhan nilang lumafang nang lumafang. Hakhakhak!

Obvious na sabik na sabik sila sa masasarap na pagkain kaya pinagbibigyan talaga nila ang kanilang voracious appetite to the point of nausea.

Nevertheless, with all the despairing intrigues that they are faced with, manalo pa kaya ang tabatsinang si Angelica sa susunod na eleksyon? Hakhakhak!

That’s the 64 dollar question that’s continuously roiling in the minds of most people these days.

Nga pala, dapat ay tigilan na rin ni Angelica ang pakikipagtomaan sa kanyang mga constituent para ma-maintain naman niya ang kanilang respeto.

Tigilan na rin ang pagpatol sa mga walang kawawaang mga intriga na lalong nagpapa-cheapen sa kanyang dati ng balahurang image.

‘Yun na! Hahahahaha!

Another thing, don’t alienate your old friends because they are the ones who can help you out when the goings get rough and you need a little succor.

‘Yun lang!

***

Bonggacious ang acting ni Marvin

KAKAIBA ang staying power ni Marvin Agustin.

Karamihan sa contemporaries nila during the late 80s ay nagbabu na halos lahat, kundi man osla nang talaga pero siya ay nananatiling visible at nabibigyan ng magagandang role sa mga pelikulang kanyang ginagawa at maging sa telebisyon man.

Hayan nga at lead actor siya sa Iglot na mapanonood gabi-gabi sa telebabad ng GMA kung saan he’s being pitted against the acting talents of Ms. Claudine Barretto and Jolina Magdangal, along with the villain Luis Allandy.

Ngayon naman, challenging ang kanyang role bilang isang newly ordained priest and brother of the character essayed by Ina Feleo who’s afflicted with the fatal ailment cancer of the blood or leukemia.

Palabas na ito on September 14 at nagkaroon sila ng premiere night sa Naga City kung saan matatagpuan ang miraculous Nuestra Senora de Penafrancia or simply Ina to most Bicolanos.

Master piece ito ni Direk Marilou Diaz-Abaya kaya hands on talaga siya sa paggawa ng pelikula.

Sang-ayon kay Marvin, tutuk na tutok talaga si Direk Marilou sa kanyang pag-arte kaya nai-guide siya nito nang husto on how to delineate his role as a leukemia victim especially so during his post chemo theraphy sessions.

“Hindi ko pa naman talaga na-experience ‘yun so I did what I believe was the right thing to do,” musingly states Marvin. “Pero sabi ni direk mali raw ‘yun so binigyan niya ako ng ample guidance.

“Actually, kung naging maganda man ang acting ko rito,” he emphatically states, “dahil ‘yun kay direk.”

Dapat lang!

***

Parang Star Cinema si Queenstar Vi

DATI-RATI, the local movie scene was palpably dominated by the Big Three – Regal, Viva and Seiko films.

Patalbugan talaga sila sa paggawa ng pelikula until such time that Seiko had bowed out of the scene and the fight was narrowed down between the two giants Regal and Viva.

But somewhere along the way, a new movie outfit had emerged and before long, it has become the most prodigious and the most progressive of them all – Star Cinema.

In a way, Star Cinema is comparable to the palpably prodigious achievements of Queenstar Vilma Santos.

For more than four decades, her star has consistently remained as one of the brightest in the business until it came to a point when it has become the brightest of them all.

In her long drawnout fight for stardom with Superstar Nora Aunor, it’s easily discernible that she has become the undisputed winner.

Magaling kung sa magaling umarte si Nora but Queen Vi is an acting giant in her own merits.

Magkaiba lang sila nang atake sa pag-arte but it’s a fact that Ate Vi’s riveting kind of acting is more down to earth and not in any way exaggerated.

Her acting awards from the different award-giving bodies can veritably attest to this.

Sa totoong buhay nga naman ay bihira ang nakaaarte ng tulad sa pag-arte ni Nora Aunor.

Mas nakare-relate sila sa acting ni Ate Vi na mas natural at tumatagos sa puso at sa iyong kamalayan.

No wonder, mas marami ang nakare-relate sa acting ni Queenstar Vi at mas marami ang umiidolo sa kanya.

Period. Ayoko ng tsaka!

Hakhakhakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

Ang komontra, magiging kamukha ni Ferminata. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ayookooooooo! Hahahahahaha!

***

Cristine Reyes kinai-insecure-ran

MARAMING magagandang babae sa show business pero aminado silang kakaiba ang arrive ni Cristine Reyes, the lead actress of the top-rating soap “Repustasyon.”

Isang factor na nakadaragdag sa kanyang appeal ay ang katotohanang she’s got a strong personality just like the character (Agnes delos Santos) she delineates in their soap.

Kung ang mga contemporaries niya ay hirap i-maintain ang kanilang ideal weight, chicken feed lang ito kay Cristine na discipline-oriented talaga kaya all these years ay maintained niya ang kanyang whistle bait figure.

Kaya naman lalong dumarami ang avid watchers ng kanilang soap na napanonood right after “Happy, Yipee, Yehey!”

Riveting kasi ang kanyang acting specially so when she’s engaging in a heated confrontation with her nemesis Aiko Melendez.

No wonder, feel na feel siya ni Rayver Cruz dahil kapanta-pantasya naman kasing talaga siya.

***

Nagpa-rehab na kaya back to work na si Ate

IT’S nice to know that this award-winning actress has come to her senses and decided to take her rehab sessions seriously so she could stage a well-deserved come-back specially so now that offers are still religiously knocking at the door of her good-natured manager.

Sayang nga naman kung patuloy siyang magluluka-lukahan samantalang ‘yung iba niyang contemporaries na dati-rati’y mas bongga ang showbiz career ay osla na at hirap nang makuhang lead actress sa isang pelikula o soap opera man kaya.

In fairness sa aktres na ‘to, kahit ang daming beses na niyang nagluka-lukahan (naroong pumatol sa mga lenguas, kumabit sa may asawa etc.), lagi naman siyang nakababalik dahil maintained niya ang kanyang ganda at lagi na’y nasa fighting form ang kanyang body weight.

Now that she’s back, I just hope that she’s going take things more seriously and realize the good fortune that God has given her.

***

Vavalinang baboy pinandirihan ng mga lalaki

HAHAHAHAHA! What a pity naman for the ugly beyond belief Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Castro. Imagine, when this faggot went up to Baguio a couple of months ago to look for a possible mate, he was avoided like the plague by most young men that he tried to approach. Hakhakhak!

Pa’no naman, very much wanting of good hygiene ang tikbalang na ‘to (Hakhakhak!) kaya pinandidirihan ng mga lalaki.

For who would want to go bed with an aging fag who deludes himself with the false belief that he’s still in his prime and veritably attractive, too? Harharharharhar!

In situations like this, it always pays to bring a potent mouthwash with you so that you won’t be shunned away from by the young men you want to go bed with. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Never also meet them in broad daylight lest they see how diabolical you look and avoid you like the plague. Harharhar!

Okay na nga sana kung matanda ka at pangit as long as you do have an exemplary character.

Pero hindi nga eh. Tsaka ka na nga, ang bantot pa ng pag-uugali mo at di ka marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob.

Good riddance ancient vaklung. I’m sure your diabetes would eventually make your life a living hell.

Hahahahahaha!

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