Direktor mahilig sa mga nostalgiang nota!

HOW so very amusing naman ang diskarte nitong in fairness ay magaling na direktor na very much visible ngayon sa telebisyon. Ang trip niya sa ngayon ay i-resurrect ang mga showbiz careers ng mga sexy actors of the 90s na lately ay nabibigyan ng bit roles sa television.

Ang siyete, magmula nang makita ni directed by ang hitsura ni sexy actor on national television, nagka-interes na siya.

Pa’no naman, the sexy actor, albeit a little bit fleshy as compared to his gorgeous physique of 17 years before, still exudes eroticism in a mature sort of way. Hakhakhak!

Kaya ang ending, pinahanap niya ang sexy actor, na famous sa pagkakaroon ng fresh breath when he was a lot younger, and he was not in the least bit disappointed.

May asim pa kasi ito and his skin tone is not wrinkled or dried up the way most of his contemporaries have become. Hahahahahaha!

Sa tantiya ni Direk, hindi rin masyadong gamit ang notes payable ni sexy actor da- hil hindi naman ito pahadang talaga during his youth.

Ang hindi niya alam, marunong na ring makipag-curvahan sa mga badelyas si sexy actor right after he had of couple of years of straight bookings in Japan as a male hosto.

As a matter of fact, nai-booking na rin siya, a few months ago, ng isang aging lady reporter sa mga rich gay politicians in Bulacan. Hakhakhak!

Ang kaso, malasado raw si kuya dahil washington DC nag-gibsona ng komi. Hahahahaha!

With the hard times, may subaan na rin pala sa booking business. Hakhakhak!

Ayaw ni Bubonika nang ganyan. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, going back to our perpetually horny gay director, bloomomingdale talaga siya dahil siya na ang manager ng bold actor na so bango ang hininga. Hahahahahaha! At least, dilig-to-the-max ang keps (ang keps raw, o! Hakhakhak!) ni direk dahil tutored by the masters ang bagong paparu niya. Hakhakhak!

Don’t worry direk, give kita ng KY Jelly para hindi ka ma-hurt in the event na gusto ka nang i-penetrate ni papa. Hahahahahahaha!

***

GMA Network tumanggap ng dalawang parangal nitong Agosto

KAMAKAILAN nagtamo ng back-to-back victory ang broadcast giant na GMA Network, Inc. (GMA) sa pagkakapanalo ng Outstanding Television Station for 2011 mula sa Volunteers Against Crime and Corruption (VACC) at Gawad Sagisag Quezon mula sa Quezon City Academy (QCA) at Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino (KWF) sa magkahiwalay na seremonyang ginanap noong nakaraang linggo.

Ayon sa sipi ng parangal, pinuri ng VACC ang GMA dahil sa “valuable service to the community through consistent quality television programming that tackles timely issues and concerns and its professional and balanced treatment of news and documen -taries particularly those that underscore the cause of victims and the criminal justice system.”

“The commendation pushes GMA to continue producing balanced, fair, impartial news stories that would hopefully extend the Filipinos’ level of social awareness,” ani GMA Chairman at CEO Atty. Felipe L. Gozon.

Malinaw na dominante ang GMA sa listahan ng mga major VACC awardee sa pangingibabaw ng GMA News TV (GNTV), ang kauna-unahang news and public affairs channel sa Philippine VHF free TV, at flagship AM radio station ng GMA na DZBB.

Ang State of the Nation with Jessica Soho ng GNTV, na pinangungunahan ng Peabody awardee at pinakakinikilalang broadcast journalist sa bansa na si Jessica Soho, ang pinarangalan bilang Outstanding Television Program; samantalang ang DZBB 594 khz, na pinamumunuan ng isa sa pinakapinagkakatiwalaang broadcast journalist sa bansa, si Mike Enriquez, ang nanalong Outstanding Radio Station.

Ani Department of Justice (DOJ) Secretary Leila de Lima, na panauhing pandangal sa awarding ceremonies na ginanap kasabay ng ika-13 Founding Anniversary ng VACC noong August 26 sa DOJ office sa Malate, Manila, “the awardees speak of a deep and strong commitment, of the willpower to stay on course despite disappointments and obsta- cles and, of course, [they] speak of credibility.”

Sina Soho at Enriquez – kapwa gumagawa ng kaibahan sa estado ng Philippine justice system bilang nirerespetong media personalities – ang nanalo bilang Outstanding Television Host at Outstanding Radio Host.

Gayon din, pinarangalan sina John Paul Soriano ng GMA bilang Outstanding Television Reporter, at Carlo Mateo ng DZBB bilang Outstanding Radio Reporter.

Samantala, pinarangalan ng QCA at KWF ang GMA – ang tanging television station sa listahan ng 12 awardees – ng Gawad Sagisag Quezon dahil sa mahusay na paggamit ng wikang Filipino sa pagpapatakbo ng mainstream Channel 7 at international channels GMA Pinoy TV (GPTV) at GMA Life TV (GLTV) sa awarding ceremonies na ginanap noong August 24 sa Manila Hotel.

Ang pagpapalit ng tagline ng GMA mula “Where You Belong” tungo sa “Kapuso ng Bawat Pilipino” ay hudyat nang malalim na pagnanais ng Network na gamitin ang sariling wika upang higit na maunawaan ang pangangailangan, hinanakit, pangarap, at aspiras- yon ng mga Pilipino.

***

News and current affiars personality tumitindi ang body odor kapag nati-tense

HAKHAKA! How amusing naman ang eksena ng in fairness ay may ganda naman sanang news and current affairs personality na ‘to na nagbabu na sa rating network na pinagtatrabahuhan niya.

Kung tutuusin, she has the personality naman and is quite attractive with her brown skin tone that’s the favorite of the foreigners in Boracay in the few occasions that she’d go there to unwind occasionally.

At any rate, if others are problematic because of the dark coloring of their underarm, her problem is the not-so-pleasant odor that emanates from her armpits the very moment she becomes upset or tense. Hakhakhak!

That must be one of the reasons why she has remained loveless all these years.

At any rate, as far as I know, her kind of problem can be easily remedied by Vicki Belo and Doctor Manny Calayan.

All she needs to do is consult them about it and the solution is going to be given in a matter of minutes.

Ang hirap kasi sa bida natin, she is not honest enough to admit that she has a problem. Napakadali namang solosyunan nito and the solution is just a phone call away. Hakhakhak!

Sayang ka hija. May arrive ka pa naman at exotic talaga ang beauty mo.

For all you know, that must be one of the reasons why your relationship with this feisty teevee personality did not prosper.

Ka-turned-off nga naman ang malodorous na underarm no matter how attractive you may be. Hakhakhak!

***

Marunong magbigay ng importansiya si Ate Vi kahit na kanino kaya Queenstar siya for all season

MARAMING artista sa ngayon sa industriya. Some of them are pleasant to talk to, others are outright delusory and devoid of any good PR.

But the Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos is one of the few celebrities who’ll make you feel good right after an interview.

You are going to be floored with her becoming kind of sincerity that you’ll very seldom find with the actors of today.

While most of her peers are veritable amnesiacs, she has an amazing elephantine memory that’s guaranteed to impress even the most hardened skeptics.

With Ate Vi, it’s easily discernible that it’s something ingrained in her system.

Not realy something studied but something that she loves doing.

Ang layu-layo niya ru’n sa isa niyang contemporary na alam mo namang kaplastikan lang ang mga kadramahan sa katawan at put-on lang ang mga po at opo. Hakhakhak!

No wonder, she is not half as successful as Queenstar Vi both in terms of opulence and staying power in the business.

Nagulat nga noon ang isang kinaibigan nitong (the other actress) religious leader na buong akala’y walang ulterior motive ang aktres nang regularly ay nag-a-attend ito sa mga special occasions ng kanilang congregation, only to be traumatized in the end when the actress told her matter of factly that she was in need of a cool 2 million pesos. Hakhakhak!

Carry n’yo ‘yun? Hahahahaha!

That’s how she hideously operates that’s why most of the people who were quite close to her had endep up pretty disillusioned.

But with Ate Vi, you will never experience such ignominious episodes because she is a proud person in the sense that she shuns away from taking advantage of other people’s almost blind idolatry.

Ilang fans na ba ang nakaranas ng kanyang largess?

No wonder, she is enormously blessed because she is a most giving person.

Sa totoo, I’m so happy to have known Ate Vi from a distance.

Mas naa-appreciate ko ang kanyang pagkatao if I observe her from afar and realize that everything she does is not merely a put-on thing to impress people.

That she is sweet and humane because she is by nature infinitely caring.

Nice meeting you, Ate Vi. I feel enormously blessed and honored to have known one of Tinsel Town’s veritable royalties.

***

Ferminata balik Ate Vi na naman (Pakidampot ang kredibilidad sa sahig hakhakhak!)

SO, CRISTENELLI Salazar Fermin, the undisputed AC/DC of show business is beginning to slowly shed-off her cheap colorings once again. Hakhakhak!

Nagpapaka-hunyango na naman ang main host ng below sea level ang rating na Juice-less (Ayokooooooo! Hakhakhak!) at pagkatapos na i-hosanna to the highest si Nora Aunor, lick-galore na naman siya sa sukang niluwa niya. Hakhakhak!

Baka naman na-realize niyang wala palang ‘career’ kay Mama Guy kaya nagpapaka-TVH (trying very hard vagah… Hakhakhak!) na naman siyang magbalik kay Queenstar Vi. Hakhakhak!

How inordinately and untakably cheaaaaapppppp! HAHAHAHAHHA!

Ang bilis-bilis talaga magpalit ng kulay at wala talagang sense of loyalty ang lolang  ito kahit kailan. Hahahahahahahaha!

Pagkatapos na puri-purihin si Mama Guy, hayan at biglang nagbalimbing at Ate Vi na naman this time ang kanyang simpleng pinapapelan, habang may simpleng patama run sa isa on the side.

Tao ba ito?

Ano ba’ng talaga ang kulay ng iyong di kagandahang balat, Lola?

In a wink of an eye, you can change your allegiance, much to the overt consterna- tion of the Noranians all over the world. Hakhakhak!

Kunsabagay, ganyan ka naman talaga. One day lalait-laitin mo ang isang personali- dad, only to end up praising him/her to high heavens after you have achieved your hidden ‘agenda’. Hakhakhak!

Balimbing talaga ang national fruit at ikaw ‘yun with a capital B! Hahahahahaha!

Period. Ayoko ng tsakaaaaaa! Hahahahahaha!

***

Di na talaga maabot si Sam Pinto

OBVIOUSLY, Bubonika’s cheap tirade has no effect on Sam Pinto’s burgeoning popula- rity. Hayan at dalawang malalaking commercials lang naman niya ang pinalalabas sa ngayon sa telebisyon kung saan eskalerang tunay ang kanyang mga kasama.

Hahahahahahaha!

At say mo sa kanyang talent fee, lola, pang-major star nang talaga. Hakhakhak!

Ikaw kaya, when are you going to get such a fabulous offer? Hahahahaha!

If I remember it right, nagkaroon ka naman ng endorsement before. Ang kaso, no renewal at all because the sales of the said products had plunged straight down, the people behind it were ostensibly horrified with the abysmal outcome. Hahahahaha!

Dapat i-offer sa ‘yo for endorsement ay korega para firm na at hindi umaalog-alog ang dentures mo, o dili kaya’y funeraria para mas effect na effect. Hakhakhak!

Ayokkkoooooooooo!

Going back to Sam, veritable gold mine siya ngayon ng Viva dahil ang dami pang naka-line-up niyang endorsements.

To Bubog, oslaers ka na talaga, lola. Di ka na pinaniniwalaan ng mga otaw dahil, how true? pipito na lang daw ang nanonood sa inyo. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09053195407 and #09339220112 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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