Ferminata walang kredibilidad: Dati’y sinusuob nang papuri si Piolo ngayon sinisiraan

HAHAHAHAHA! Yosi-kadiri talaga itong si Cristy Fermin. Dati-rati, nangangaykay na sa pagtatanggol kay Piolo Pascual.

Kapag may nagsusulat na supposedly ay questionable ang gender ng gwapong aktor, to the rescue lagi-lagi na ang matronang tsaka (matronang tsaka raw, o! Hakhakhak!).

But lately, predictably so, she seems to be hellbent in destroying the kind of image and lofty reputation that she, herself, had been a part in building it up.

Hakhakhak!

Bago?

Hayan at sinetup daw ng walang kredibilidad na matanda ang konsehal ng Maynila na si Yul Servo at biglang naisipang i-guest sa kanilang walang kabuhay-buhay na showbiz-oriented talk show para pigaing parang labada (pigaing parang labada raw, o! Hakhakhak! How cheap!) tungkol sa naging relasyon kuno nito sa boyfriend ni KC Concepcion.

Karima-rimarim talaga ang pag-uugali ng babaeng ito kapalistic ang pagmumukha.

Dati, defend to death kapag naiintriga si Piolo kay Yul. But now, dahil wala nang pakinabang ang babaeng attack and collect/defend and collect (Hakhakhak!), siya na mismo ang nagdidiin doon sa tao.

Ang kapal, di ba? Over sa kapaaaaaalllllllllll!

No wonder, her shows are not being watched anymore. ‘Yung walang kakatas-katas na show nila ay pinandidirihan nang talaga at parang may sakit na ketong na pinakaiiwasan. Hahahahahaha!

Hayan at lumipat na ng bagong timeslot ang show ni Ms. Amy Perez dahil deluvic ang naging effect nang gawing pre-programming ang Juiceless ni Fermin. Hakhakhak!

Kelan kaya matatauhan ang Cinco sa kamalasang dala ng isinumpang babaeng ito?

Imagine, more than a year nang umi-ere ang kanilang show pero diring-diri ang mga ad men na pasukin ito?

‘Yan ba ang sikat at binabayaran ng dolyares? Hahahahaha! Nakaririmarim!

Magnganga ka na lang, lola, dahil ‘yun ang nababagay sa ‘yo. Hakhakhak!

In all honesty, the loss of a writer’s, or teevee personality’s credibility is tantamount to the demise of his/her career as well.

That’s exactly what’s happening right now to Cristinelli Salazar Fermin’s hosting and writing careers.

Tigbakers na, kaput. Lost in the dark. Hahahahahaha!

***

Kakaiba palang talaga ang chemistry nina Erich at Enchong

NGAYONG nalipat na sa mas magandang timeslot ang “Maria La del Barrio,” mas may panahon na kaming tumutok dito at ngayon lang namin na-realize kung bakit matindi ang arrive nito sa publiko.

Bagama’t iniintrigang hanggang on cam lang daw ang tandem nina Erich Gonzales at Enchong Dee, it’s an unassailable fact that on cam, they make such a handsome and credible tandem.

A tandem who’s got chemistry that you surely will fall in love with.

Ang ganda-ganda ni Erich without with only the lightest make-up on.

On top of that, she’s got a face that you’ll definitely fall in love with.

Watching her emote with Pau Diaz, I could feel hatred welling up inside of me as she lambasted Erich in a highly condescending manner, so much so that I involuntarily clapped my hands in one scene wherein Erich fought back with all the feistiness she could muster.

I don’t know why I emphatize with them (Erich and Enchong) in this soap. Napaka-positibo kasi ng kanilang aura at napaka-realistic ng kanilang acting.

Do watch for it sa bago nilang timeslot, 6 in the evening, I’m sure you’re going to have a grand time.

***

Bonggacious si Anne!

I’M NOT particularly fond of Anne Curtis but in the trailer of their movie “No Other Woman” under Star Cinema/Viva films, I could feel emphaty welling up inside of me as I watch Anne Curtis emote with so much helplessness and loneliness.

To be honest, she is acting with the purity of light, you would be riveted to her character and feel for her at the same time.

Mahusay ring umarte si Cristine at maganda rin siya pero haunting ang dating ng character ni Cristine kaya higit kang makai-emphatize.

Unfair nga sigurong mag-judge dahil di ko pa napanonood ang pelikula in its entirety but from the few scenes alone, you would know that this is Anne Curtis’s movie.

Tour de force ang kanyang acting and she is most consistent.

***

‘Mamaya Na’ nagmamaganda!

HOW pathetic naman this Marianita Gurangga. Hahahahaha! Imagine, panay ang pagbabangong puri ng kampo niya lately sa kanilang mga releases dahil hindi raw nagtagumpay ang mga ‘paninira’ supposedly sa chaka soap nila dahil very much around pa rin supposedly ito at going strong, so to speak.

Really? I don’t think so! Hahahahahaha!

Hayan at tinigbak na naman ninyo ang character ni Mikael Daez na siyang orig na leading man ng laylayic na si Marianita at pinalitan ni Aljur Abrenica na sa totoo lang naman ay di hamak na mas okray kay Mikael ang arrive. Hakhakhak!

Hindi ba’t deluvic ang dating o outcome ng kanyang “Machete” na nakaapekto tuloy for a while sa kanyang mga leading-ladies?

Sa totoo, no matter what Marianita does, no match na siya sa isa pang kinai-insecureran niyang si Sam Pinto.

Sam is definitely fresh and beautiful even without the aid of so much make-up because she is all of 21.

Eh, si Marianita, at the ripe old age of 37 is already mature enough to delineate the role of Sam’s tita. Hakhakhak!

Bigyan kaya ng close-up shots nang sabay ang dalawa and see who’s really young and comely. Hakhakhak!

Imasilya man ng hair and make-up man ni Marianing ang kanyang fezlak, the truth will still come out. Hakhakhak!

Kung kay Iwa Moto nga ay lumabas ang kanyang kagurangan when they were together in “Darna,” how much more with Sam Pinto who’s a lot younger and infinitely fresh?

Huwag ka na kasing magmaganda pa dahil gurangis ka na. Hahahahahaha!

You may be attractive but nothing beats youth, darling. And Sam has it with a capital Y. Hakhakhak!

Kaya nga super inse ka sa beauty noon ni Bela Padilla dahil oozing with freshness and vitality ito while you reek with mature charm already. Hakhakhak!

I remember vividly well what you kept on telling Bela then, that she was ugly and not half as beautiful as you are.

Why would you say that if you happen to be secure about the kind of beauty that you have? Hakhakhak!

Sa kutis lang ni Bela na pinkish at super satiny talaga, timbog ka na gurangis na lola. Hakhakhak!

Kita mo naman, sumali sa supermodel ang Bela at napansin naman. What about you, do you have the beauty for that kind of beauty contest wherein you need to exude charm , charisma and intelligence? Hakhakhak!

Di roon pwede ang Tagalog, lola. Filipinas are known for their exemplary ability in communicating in flawless English, pa’no ka na with your Tagalista tongue and gurangic beauty? Hakhakhak!

Kaya manahimik ka na at maggantsilyo sa ‘yong rocking chair dahil Mamaya Na will never make it big the way your “Marimar” has become. Hakhakhak!

Nakatatawa nga na at the height of your infamous reviews, only the men were being given prominence. Hakhakhak!

Bakit nga pala hindi ka na sinusulat ng gurangis na ring si Lola Cristinelli Salazar Fermin, huh?

Afraid na rin ba siyang madoble ang lait sa kanya in the event that she would? Hakhakhakhakhak!

Tama! Hakhakhak!

Kita mo nga ang iyong lola Nganga at nakikisawsaw na naman sa isyu ni Kuya Boy Abunda at Erik Santos. Hakhakhak!

Buking na buking na kasi ang pagiging mercenary niya kaya below sea level na ang rating ng juiceless. Hakhakhak!

Tantanan mo na si Piolo Pascual, lola, dahil gusto nang manahimik nu’ng tao.

Kapalistik talaga ang mukha mo at doble-cara, hayan at panay na naman ang banat mo sa kanya alluding to his supposed doubtful machismo samantalang ikaw ang kanyang numero unong tagapagtanggol before. Hakhakhak!

Magnganga ka na lang at bilangin ang kadatungang nagetlag mo kay Papa Willie na sinisipsipan mo to-the-max kaya bakod-to-death ka. Hahahahahahaha!

Laos ka na, lola. Manahimik ka na dahil matagal nang timbog ang iyong credibility.

***

Panahon na talaga ni Vice Ganda

KUNG osla na si lola Cristy, it’s an unassailable fact that it’s Vice Ganda’s time to shine these days.

‘Yung pagiging super bongga ng arrive ng “Show Time” ay partly credited ‘yun sa kakaibang arrive niya these days.

Nagulat nga ang ABS-CBN sa superfab na reception sa kanyang Sunday show na “Gandang Gabi Vice.”

Kita n’yo naman kung sino ang kanyang ‘love interest’ sa kanyang “Praybeyt Benjamin” movie under Star Cinema at Viva films, ang rave of the faggots and bisexual men and women as well na si Derek ‘Katilam-tilam’ Ramsay.

O, devah? Hahahahahahaha!

Saan ka naman nakakita ng isang mujerada na muscled at the epitome of machismo na tulad ni Derek Ramsay ang leading man kundi siya lang naman, di ba, mga kapatid? Hahahahahaha!

No wonder, she’s (take note of the pronoun that we’ve used, huh? Hahahahahaha!) being idolized by so many faggots within the metropolis who’d like to reach the kind of enviable stature that she has reached.

Touched ka? Pati mga berdaderong lalaki ay naiintriga na rin sa kanyang arrive na dati-rati’y di gaanong nire-recognize sa industriya.

Ganyan naman talaga kapag uso ka, they love everything about you.

‘Yun na!

***

Iba talaga ang narating ni Queenstar Vi

SHE doesn’t have to do truckloads of movies to be remembered by her millions of adoring fans all over the archipelago. A once a year movie would more than suffice for them to acknowledge her awesome stature in the business that has yet to be equalled or duplicated by anyone.

Her superfab transition from the seemingly naive actress to the well-poised and confident woman of unquestioned knowledge about politics has yet to be equalled.

Indeed, Ate Vi tries to be good in everything that she does.

No wonder, the respect has always been there for she definitely deserves it.

Maraming mahuhusay na aktres sa pelikulang lokal, marami ring magaganda at stunning ang hitsura, but only a handful can duplicate what she has loftily accomplished.

There is only one Queenstar for all Seasons and her name is Vilma Santos!

***

Wala nang arrive ang daks na nota

DATI-RATI, he took pride in his being a good actor, along with his considerable popularity with women and the limp-wristed variety as well.

Wayback then, his machismo was kind of impressive and women from all walks of life were mightily intrigued with that seductive thing that lusciously dangled in between his legs.

Those were the days when he was veritably hot, most of the young actresses at the network he was working for were silently lusting after him and his considerable endowments.

But that was before.

Today, no one seem to remember his immmense promise as an actor, along with his enormous sex appeal.

The women are gone and so are the vaklush who were dying to get under his pants.

Youth has passed him by and so are the opportunities that used to dangle in his presence.

Ganyan talaga ang buhay. Lost opportunities are lost forever and there is nothing that can be done to retrieve it one more time.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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