Garampingat kasi kaya nagka-problema

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Crying galore ang mahusay na young actress na ‘to nang mag-guest sa isang well-followed na showbiz-oriented talk show kamakailan.

Por que? Why is she crying?

In a way, she had it coming because she’d been playing with fire for so long.

May syota na kasi at di hamak na mas matangkad at mas gwaping naman pero di pa siya nakuntento at nakipag-eksenahan pa sa di katangkarang mahusay na young actor na to na scalding ngayon ang arrive ng popularity sa network dahil rating ang nagtapos nitong soap at mahusay nga siyang aktor.

Ang ending, sapakan blues lang naman ang nangyari nang mag-meet ang dalawa sa isang esekolang event ng mga artista lately.

Sang-ayon sa kwento ng isa nating source, maaga palang daw ay umiinom na ang di katangkaran pero bonggacious ang acting skills na aktor.

Obviously, he was preparing himself for the forthcoming encounter with his “rival.” Hakhakhak!

Anyway, discernible na may LQ (lovers’ quarrel bagah..Ha hahahaha!) ang maelyang batang aktres at ang kanyang half-Italian, half Pinoy na papa.

Siyempre naman, stories such as this can travel like wild fire with such ferocious intensity in the business.

Somewhere along the way, bigla na lang daw nagkaroon ng commotion at na-sight na lang ng ating source na may pasa na sa mukha ang mas matangkad na young actor.

Ano ba naman kasi ang ilalaban niya sa laki sa kalyeng young sexy actor na ‘to?

Honestly, I can’t blame the two guys if they acted that way. Natural lang sa mga lalaki ang mag-react impulsively the very moment they get to feel that their machismo is being trampled upon.

Ang may kasalanan talaga roon ay ang mahusay na young actress na sobra ang libido sa katawan at di makuntento sa iisang lalaki.

Did I hit the nail right on its head, Lola Cristinelli Salazar Fermin? Hahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, it runs in their blood. I’m not being judgmental but their clan is famous for having possessed such an intense libido.

‘Yun ngang tita niya at her prime ay talaga namang bilangera ng ombre. Hahahahaha!

So, don’t cry young lady because you have no one to blame but your own promiscuous ways and libido, along with your indiscretions as well.

Sabi nga niyan, play with fire and you get burned.

***

Angelica Jones ingrata kaya marami ang naiirita

SA TOTOO, kahit lumaklak man siya nang lumaklak ng beer, tuba, o kahit stainless (stainless raw, o! Hakhakhak!) man sa araw-araw ka-join ang maderaka niyang tunggaera rin ng gin (tunggaera raw ng gin, o! Hahahahahaha!)at mga kapit-bahay nila sa subdivision na ‘yun somewhere in Laguna, mukhang tigbakers na ang political career nitong si Bokal Angelica Jones dahil plastikada at nuknukan ng ilusyon at gimikera.

Hahahahahaha!

Nang mai-feature nga ito lately sa The Buzz ni Kuya Boy Abunda, impit talaga ang hagalpakan ng mga otaw dahil halata namang nagpapaka-aktresa na naman ang lusogerang (lusogera raw, o! Hakhakhak!) starlet habang nagpipilit umiyak dahil siya kuno ang ‘aggrieved’ party sa eksenahan nila ng dati niyang paparu na ngayo’y kabad-trip-an niya na. Hakhakhak!

Gimikera kasi ang babaing ito na dahil super sa katakawan ay talaga namang lomodic na ang itzu. Hakhakhak!

Mag-diet ka, ning. Your face is fast becoming too fleshy for comfort.

Baka ang ending pagwelgahan ka na ng mga prospects mo, if you know what I mean. Haahahahahahaha!

Anyway, many years ago when the world was indubitably young and she was still living in that cheap apartment in Mandaluyong, Angelica and her tupperware mom were still humility personified. As a matter of fact, they were cowtowing and so ingratiatingly nice to talk to.

Kahit nga nu’ng magkaroon sila ng konek sa isang negosyanteng may malaking school sa Kyusi ay nicey-nicey pa rin ang mag-inang ito.

But things have indubitably altered when she became a politician and started amas- sing big sum of money.

Feeling nila’y wala nang katapusan ang lahat kaya para silang pabo real kung magsi-astang mag-ina.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Balutin man ninyo ng brilyante ang buo n’yong katawan at magningning man sa ginto ang inyong mga daliri’t kamay, it’s not going to change the fact that you’re grossly cheap and a veritable laughing stock among the people you gravitate around in. Hahahahaha!

Period. Ayoko ng tsipangga! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Toni at Uge patalbugan sa ‘Wedding Tayo, Wedding Hindi’

RIOT sa box-office ang movie ng dalawang box-office icons na sina Eugene Domingo at Toni Gonzaga. As of the moment, Star Cinema is definitely overwhelmed with the superfab reception that their movie has been getting from people from all walks of life.

Bagama’t magkaiba ng approach sa pagko-comedy ang dalawa, trip na trip ito ng mga otaw kaya smug and complacent talaga ang Star Cinema people na bonggacious na naman ang outcome nito in its totality.

Anyway, fulfilled si Toni na finally ay nagkasama na sila ni Ms. Eugene Domingo, definitely one of the icons in the field of comedy along with Ms. Ai-Ai delas Alas.

“I just love it tuwing magkaka-eksena kami ni Ate Uge dahil napakanatural niyang kaeksena,” mouths Toni with palpable admiration, “kaya ang tendency ay madala ka niya.

“In our wacky scenes together, she was really a joy to work with in the sense that she had no insecurity and she breezed through our scenes together with absolute professionalism.”

Tama. Si Ms. Eugene kasi ang tipo ng artistang merong tinatawag na built-in confidence. As long as she feels that she’s doing justice to the intricate demands of the role, then she’s fine.

On Toni’s part, inasmuch as she’s humble enough to have it acknowledged, she’s really one of the few versatile actresses that we have in our midst.

Mapa-drama o comedy, carry talaga niya at wala siyang insecurity with anyone as long as she feels that she’s doing her job well.

Palabas pa rin ang wacky comedy na ‘to ni Direk Joey Reyes sa 100 cinemas all over the country.

Do watch it, it’s a movie that’s guaranteed to make you laugh your heart out till you get palpably exhausted.

Bongga rin ang portrayals ng kanilang leading men na sina Zanjoe Marudo at Wendell Ramos. Di rin kasi sila nagpakabog sa dalawa nilang leading-ladies.

***

Inggit na inggit si Vavalina dahil kabeso na namin ang queenstar for all season na si Ate Vi

WHEN this ugly beyond belief faggot Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Castro was still staying with us, he used to brag about his purported close encounters with Queenstar Vilma Santos.

Knowing him to be innately delusory and very much wanting of credibility, we simply smiled indulgingly every time he would regale us with Queen Vi stories. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, as fate would have it, I’m the one who’s been given the chance to be quite intimate with the queen and not him. Hahahahahaha!

So, out of great envy, this aging faggot would send some diabolically hateful messages unabatingly at our cell the whole day and the whole night.

Hahahahahaha!

But who, the hell, cares?

Honestly, I’m terribly pleased to have finally met the queen through our good friend Jimi Escala, ang ka-brod namin sa foundation ni Kuya Boy Abunda. Hahahahaha!

Sa totoo, I really could not believe that I’ve been given the rare chance of being quite intimate with Queen Vi who’s appealingly nice and warm in her dealings with people and not one bit delusory like the actress I used to fantasize about.

Sa totoo, in a business peopled with megalomaniacs and cavalierly uncouth personalities, I’m so thankful to have met a rare breed who knows how to appreciate the little things that you can do on her behalf.

No wonder, reyna siya ng endorsements dahil napaka-positive ng kanyang aura.

Many years have indubitably passed but she has remained the Ate Vi in the fantasy of so many people.

Sweet. Perpetually nice and a joy to talk to or simply be with.

Kaya naman pala labs na labs siya nina Jimi Escala, Sandy Es Mariano and company, dahil taung-tao si Ate Vi.

In my case, I just would love to watch her from a distance.

Mas maganda ‘yun para I can observe the goings on objectively and without alienating anyone.

My queen is dazzlingly enthralling but she’s within my reach and I love her so.

***

Hayaan nating siyang ma-in-love martyr sa Golgotha

SA PANINGIN nang nakararami, one-way traffic ang love affair ng dalawang personalidad na ‘to dahil obvious naman daw na hindi masyadong involved ang gwapong aktor sa maganda pero too sensitive niyang karelasyong aktres.

Kaya most of the time, parang lost ang young actress and not that in the mood to dress up like her co-hosts in that top-rating show they are intrinsically very much a part of.

Some two weeks ago, her mom, in a rare moment of being piqued, had spoken and almost spillled the ‘beans.’

But the daughter is head over heels in love and is more than willing to understand the ‘complicated’ existence of her mate, her mom chose to keep mum about the whole thing.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, hangga’t makakaya raw niya ay titiisin niya dahil sa sobrang mahal nga niya si ‘papa’ mereseng nakataas na ang kilay ng kanyang ina.

Hahahahahahaha!

Totoo ka, the moment na magsilaki na ang ating mga anak ay hindi na natin hawak ang kanilang damdamin.

The most that we parents can do is to give them love and understanding when we feel they need it the most.

Pasasaan ba’t matatauhan din ‘yan, my dear. Just be more patient and understanding.

Kapag nauntog na ‘yan, ‘yun na! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Heart natalbugan ang pag-apir ni Lovi sa Star Magic Ball

SAD naman kami sa naging eksena ni Lovi Poe sa Star Magic.

A couple of weeks before the said grandiose event, much-publicized talaga ang gagawing pag-gate crash ng kontrobersyal na sexy actress from the Kapuso Network bilang special date ni Jake Cuenca.

But on the day itself, tinalbugan siya ng unexpected appearance ni Heart Evangelista who came all dolled up and fabulously bejewelled for the said occasion. Hakhakhak!

Ano ini? Ibig bang sabihin ay may balak na muling magbalik sa Star Network ang orig namang talent ng ABS-CBN?

Hmmm…mukhang may naaamoy na naman kaming lipatan dahil kay Marianita L. Hakhakhak!

Mahirap nga namang lagi mong makaeeksena ang babaing palaban at may pagkademonyita. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, kumusta naman kaya ang naging feeling ni Jake na natalbugan sila ng ombagan blues sa pagitan nina Coco Martin at Matteo Guidicelli dahil kay Majita Salvador? Hakhakhak!

In this business talaga, expect the unexpected. Hahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09053195407 and #09339220112 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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