Lumabas na ang tunay na kulay ni Ferminata! (Vilma’s innately forgiving heart)

HAHAHAHAHA! How so very funny. Dati-rati, super excited si Cristinelli Salazar Fermin nang dumating si Nora Aunor sa Pinas. Talagang lahat halos ng columns niya’y ipinagbubunyi ang pagdating ng Superstar. Hakhakhak!

Mapa-radyo o telebisyon man, non-stop ang bukeke niya tungkol sa ermats nina Ian de Leon at Lotlot.

Surprisingly, after the initial euphoria has died down, she seems to have lost interest and kind of disillusioned and is now back to her old snobbish ways towards the Superstar. Hakhakhak!

Why is that so?

Well, the answer is basically simple. Di na natuloy sa pagtatrabaho kay Aunor ang amiga at asucarera niyang si Lala Aunor at parang nagkaroon pa ng bad blood between her and the caustic people working for Nora, Suzette Ranillo in particular, that’s why she left with some animosity as well.

Knowing Ferminata to be money-oriented (Hakhakhak! believe me, she’s always been like that), follow the leader siyempre ang beauty niya at deadma na rin these days sa superstar. Hahahahahaha!

When money talks, Ferminata veritably listens. Hahahahahaha!

Kita n’yo naman, back to normal na naman ang babaeng AC/DC.

Ano nga naman kasi ang mapapala niya kay Nora? After five months she is going to leave the country and go back to the States once again, she might as well emphatize and side with the money-maker Lala Aunor. Hakhakhak!

Kuha n’yo? Hahahahahaha!

At least nagpakatotoo siya kaya hurting naman ang mga fans ni Ate Guy. Hakhakhak!

Text nga sa amin ng isang disillusioned na follower ng aktres, hindi na raw pini-play ni Ferminatex ang mga songs ng aktres sa kanyang inaamag at pang-gurang na radio program at hindi na rin siya nagbibigay ng update tungkol sa legendary actress.

Siyempre naman, ang symphaty at loyalty niya ay na kay Lala, the money-maker, Aunor.

Hakhakhak!

Minsan pa, nakita ng mga otaw ang karakas ni Fermin. Andalu ang priority niya at wala nang iba pa. Hakhakhak!

So kapal talaga. Hahahahahaha! Di ba naman, Pokwang, Janelle Jamer, among many others na at one point in their lives ay naging biktima ng datungerang babaeng ito na ang fezlak ay may dollar sign? Hahaha! How atrociously amusing.

Kay Fermin pa rin, she seems to be singing a totally different repugnant tune the last I read the headline story of the column she maintains for a salable tabloid.

From the looks of it, nagpapahiwatig na naman ang reyna ng mga AC/DC na she’s once again having a change of heart. Hahahahaha! Obviously, gusto na naman niyang magbalik kay Ms. Vilma Santos.

Bago? Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, knowing Ate Vi to be a woman of compassion and understanding, I’m positive  that she’s going to welcome Fermin with open arms.

Wala naman kasing masamang tinapay in as far as she’s concerned.

I guess that’s one of the reasons why she’s been able to last this long in the business.

She harbors no grudges or ill-feelings with anyone and her heart is very motherly for she understands human nature.

Kaya nga lalong dumarami ang kanyang mga Vilmanians dahil likas siyang mabait and is not one to harbor deep-seated grudges with anyone.

Indeed the Queenstar for all seasons has remained beautiful with the passing of years because she has a pure heart who easily forgives.

Kumbaga, her enduring kind of beauty is a veritable reflection of her good soul and forgiving heart as well.

Kaya naman habang ang ibang mga artista riyang almost two decades her junior ay hirap na hirap ng ma-offer-an ng isang medyo matinu-tinong pelikula, si Ate Vi ay gumagawa lang ng pelikula if and when she feels like it or if her vast constituency approves.

Sa totoo, you won’t last long in this business if you happen to be too shrewd and half-caring about the needs of other people but yourself.

Selfless people like Queen Vi are the ones who truly survives and lasts long.

Di ba naman, Ms. Jimi Escala? Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Going back to Ferminata, laughing stock siya ngayon sa industriya dahil halatang-halatang hampas sa kalabaw, sa kabayo ang latay ang drama niya. Hakhakhak!

Hayan at panay na naman ang puri niya kay Ate Vi, na dinedma niya for quite sometime, habang may patama on the side kay Ate Guy.

Kapalistik, di ba naman? Hahahahaha!

Small wonder, she’s not being respected anymore in the business the way they used to. Buking na buking na kasi ang pagkataling-harap.

Hahahahahahaha!

Yosi-kadiri!

Yuck!

***

Mas matindi raw ang depreciation ng higit na batang rapper-actor kaysa sa orig na papa ng mama niya

SHAKIRA raw ang mga otaw sa set ng soap opera ng isang comebacking actress dahil na-compare nila ang depreciation ng physical attributes ng reigning papa niya as compared sa superfab na hitsura ng kanyang past squeeze.

Mas bata kasing di hamak ang kanyang rapper boyfriend pero ang tindi na ng depreciation nito whereas ang ex niya’y parang tulad pa rin nang dati.

Well, that’s what self-discipline can do my dear to a person at hindi siguro nagpupuyat nang walang kapararakan at hindi nagbababad sa casino the whole night and then pigging out the following day kaya nawala sa porma ang katawan. Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Kaya lang, mereseng nalaglag na ang katawan niya at medyo balding galore na, feel na feel pa rin siya ng aktres dahil kahit matagal nang nawala sa porma ang katawan niya, that exciting thing that dangles provocatively in between his thighs has remained deliciously constant.

Hakhakhak!

Meaning, it’s still huge and delectable. Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

According to some people, even bigger than the actress’ ex. Hakhakhak!

***

Single and ready to mingle

MARAMI ang naiintriga sa magandang relasyon sa ngayon nina Kris Aquino at Diether Ocampo, definitely one of the fastidious dressers and better-looking guys in showbiz these days and one of the lead characters at the top-rated action serye Guns & Roses.

Sabi nang nakararami, swak na swak daw sa sosing personalidad ni Krizzy baby ang esekolang personality ni Diet who is quite vocal in saying that he’s single and ready to mingle.

‘Yun nga lang, ang dami namang nai-involve raw kay Ms. Kris.

Of course Diet is aware that Kris is frequently seen dating the mayor of Makati Junjun Binay.

Nevertheless, he still would like to take a chance on love that’s why he’d like to invite Kris to go out with him on a date.

Well, anything can happen. After all, both are categorically single. Hakhakhak!

And to be honest, complimentary naman talaga ang kanilang personalidad.

Kay Diet pa rin, tumitindi ang mga kaganapan sa action serye nilang “Guns And Roses.”

Ang nakapagtataka, repugnant ang character rito ni Diet pero kahit na ano pa ang gawin niya, wholesome pa rin ang dating ng kanyang personalidad.

***

Vice Ganda’s charisma

SA PRESSCON ng Globe kung saan in-introduce ni Vice Ganda ang pinaka-latest na pakulo nitong SUPERUNLIALLTXT25 (ang newest offer ng Globe Pre-paid na pwedeng-pwede nang gamitin sa lahat ng networks) we tried to observe Ogie Diaz’ protege and decipher what really makes him tick.

Kabaliktaran sa allegations ng mga nang-o-okray sa kanya, hindi naman pala siya boba tulad ng ibig palabasin ng iba riyang super na naiinggit sa kanyang superfab accomplishments.

He is not a Kris Aquino but definitely, but is articulate in his own way and has a veritably good way of enunciating English words.

Kahit sa pagsagot-sagot sa mga katanungang ipinupukol sa kanya ng press, he’s been able to prove how intrinsically smart he is and a fast thinker as well.

Ibang Vice Ganda rin siya that day because he is well-mannered and not uncouth and cavalier the way he is on national television when co-hosting her morning show with ABS-CBN.

Anyway, kahit pala ang dami-raming nali-link sa kanya, meron pala siyang permanent steady who is into the equally intriguing world of sports.

But then, kahit na may steady pa siya, obvious na iba pa rin ang tingin niya kay Jon Avila who is one of the best-looking hunks in the business today.

Ang siyete pa nga, selos na selos raw rito ang palikerong si Kean Cipriano, na hindi naman kataka-taka dahil anyway you look at it, mas match siya sa smoldering sex appeal at machismo ng gwaping na talent ng ABS-CBN.

Nagmumukha kasi siyang unano (joke! Hakhakhak!) kapag tumatabi rito. Hahahahaha!

At any rate, from the looks of it, magtatagal pa si Vice Ganda sa industriya dahil bukod sa may talent siya, he, too, is very charming and can be positively nice if and when he wants to.

***

Truth is even stranger than fictions

HE CAME from a relatively poor family but Marc Cubales had persevered and worked awfully hard firmly believing that his industry would be amply rewarded in the end.

His luck came the day his father died and a good-natured Briton came to offer some kind of succor.

His mother acquiesced naturally for it was an offer that was hard to resist.

Many years hence, and with a degree in Advance Business Studies tucked neatly under his sleeves, he is now the proud owner of Lotus Boy Development Corporation in Manchester, London.

“Through my company, you can acquire some properties in London even if you’re not married to any Briton,” he avers.

“Kumbaga, naka-trust lang ‘yun sa company ko but you’re the real owner.

“Now, in the event that you want to sell your property, we can help you out and the money goes back with you.”

But in spite of the opulence in London, he till hankers for everything Filipino.

The truth is, he’s been able to acquire for almost three years now a vast tract of land in San Mateo, Rizal.

“I have some scholars there at ako ang nagpi-finance ng studies nila,” he says beaming.

“My mom stays with me and she’s my frequent date whenever I feel like going out.

“I also am teaching the people of Montalban Rizal on how to operate some small businesses that they can benefit from and become financially stable in the long run.

“God has been so kind to me, I want to share the blessings that He’s given me to the less fortunates by teaching them how to become financially table.”

Right now, he says he has some plans of coming out with an album.

“I was already able to talk to Lito Camo and Vehnee Saturno and they are composing right now some songs that will complete my debut album,” he breathily states.

“I’m  not a singer but I accidentally discovered that I can sing,” he pleasantly intones. “So, right now, I’m into choosing some songs that I plan to incorporate in my debut album.”

Among the plethora of singers that we have in our midst, who inspires him the most?

“I like Billy Crawford, Jay-R, Kris Lawrence, Aegis to some extent,” he intimates.

“Sentimental fave sila (Aegis) ng mom ko dahil she’s from the same place that this group of talented singers grew up in.

“Bisaya rin kasi ang mom ko kaya every birthday niya, she wants them to sing for her and her guests as well.

“Like I said awhile ago, my mom is my constant date when I have the urge to go out.

“I just hope that my album is going to be a success because I want my mom to be proud of me.”

What about his business in London, who’s managing it in his absence?

“I have some trusted people working for me but I always make it a point to go there when the need arises,” he intones.

“When there are little problems,” he avers, “they always keep me posted.

“So far, three years na akong pabalik-balik sa London at dito sa atin,” he coos, “I always make it a point to share 10% of my income to the Philippines.”

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09053195407 and #09339220112 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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