Maja Salvador hindi pa rin nagbibigay ng komisyon kay Chit Ramos

OPM ba itong si Majita Salvador? Aba’y ang tagal-tagal na raw na due ang commissions ni Manay Chit Ramos but so far, she seems not to be lifting a finger to give what is due her considering how the veteran talent manager has labored awfully a lot just to further her career as an actress from sheer obscurity.

Malaking halaga ba ang sum na involved?

“Granting na hindi ganon kalaki, I deseve it, don’t I?” Manay Ethel Ramos’ younger sister opines. “Malaking hirap ang pinuhunan ko bago ko napalaki nang konti ang pangalan niya.

“Siguro naman deserved ko lang ang kung anumang dapat kong makuha.

“Mereseng wala pang isang milyon ‘yun, I deserved it. I worked hard for it.

“Dapat lang siguro niya akong bayaran.”

“Ang hirap sa kanya, lagi nang nagtatago at ayaw na talagang magbayad.”

“Mahiya naman siya sa balat niya,” she adds with righteous indignation. “May pera naman na siya pero mukhang ayaw na talaga niyang magbayad kabayan.”

Oh, well, in case Majita is reading this column, I guess it’s but fitting and imperative that she should give what is due to Manay Chit.

After all, whatever she has become, our kabayan is partly responsible for it.

Kung hindi naman siya tinulungan ni Manay from her qoundam lowly and squalid position in life, she won’t be able to reach her lofty stature at the moment.

Matuto kang lumingon sa pinanggalingan mo, ining, para makarating ka sa gusto mong kapuntahan.

In a way, kaya siguro nag-flop ang latest movie mo tungkol sa isang female front runnner ay dahil sa may pagkamalasado ka.

Magtinu-tino ka rin sa lovelife mo para di ka dinadapurak ng bad karma or retribution.

Kita mo, nagkasapakan tuloy ang dalawang ombre mo dahil wala kang finesse kung makipagrelasyon. Huwag kasing two-timer, ano?

Oo nga’t magaling kang artista at walang dudang isa sa pinakamahuhusay sa larangang ito pero something should be done with your bad attitude, if you know what  I mean.

‘Yun lang!

Ang unang dapat mong gawin ay magbayad sa ‘yong mga pagkakautang, noh?

Bago ka dapurakin ng bad karma.

Baka ang ending, lahat ng movie mo ay pawang maging certified flops just like what happened to “Thelma.” Hahahahahaha!

***

Patalbugan sa acting at ganda

SPEECHLESS ang karamihan sa press na um-attend sa presscon ng movie nina Anne Curtis, Derek Ramsey at Cristine Reyes in connection with the Star Cinema/Viva films movie “No Other Woman.”

Sosyal na sosyal kasi ang dating ni Anne Curtis who was meticulously made-up and glamorously outfitted in a clinging dress that more than accentuated her ample curves. Very dapper naman si Derek Ramsey and prim and proper naman and very much lady-like in her purple party dress si Cristine Reyes.

Kumbaga, in character ang tatlo para sa movie nilang No Other Woman.

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve been given a psychological thriller such as this and I’m sure, it’s going to be a big hit at the box-office since it has all the ingredients that a blockbuster movie is made up.

It has sex, emotional conflicts and upheavals, along with good acting courtesy of the three competent actors who are out to devour each other on the big screen.

Martir ang role rito ni Cristine na halfway through the movie ay natutong magkapangil at ipaglaban ang sanctity ng kanyang marriage with a woman who’s very much obsessed with her husband.

How the story is going to end will surely keep you riveted to your seats.

Directed by Ruel Bayani, it will surely fire-up the big screen as it detonates over 100 cinemas nationwide on September 28, 2011.

***

Mas effect ang talu-talo kaysa sa mama?

HAHAHAHAHA! Poor woman, lagi-lagi na lang siyang napag-iiwanan ng kanyang mga karelasyong ombres. Hakhakhak!

Dati-rati, di siya maamin-amin ng kanyang pabling na papa dahil may ka-loveteam itong siyang bini-build-up ng network na kanilang pinagtatrabahuhan.

Matagal din siyang nagtiis but nothing came out of it dahil may bago na namang karelasyon ang kanyang syota at ito ngayon ang ipinangangalandakan nito in public.

Finally, after many months of being unattached, she has found an exciting replacement in this hunky guy who once had a colorful relationship with a bitch of a woman who’s now having a colorful relationship with a hunk who’s a lot older than he is.

Akala talaga ng bida natin ay natagpuan na niya si Mr. Right.

Ang kaso, hindi pa nga nagtatagal ang kanilang relasyon, heto ka’t nagkakatabangan na naman daw. Hakhakhak!

Ketbalites?

Simple lang, may bagong kinalilibangan na naman daw ang paparu niya. Ang nakababaliw lang, it’s not a she he’s having an intimacy with but also a he.

Hakhakhak!

Uso na talaga ang lalaki sa lalaki at mukhang enjoy naman ang dalawa. Hakhakhak!

Lihim na baklita kasi itong bagong katropa ng papa niya kaya mukhang nakalimutan na niya ang kanyang mamang di naman kasi makulay ang personalidad.

Hakhakhakhakhak!

Does it follow na mas enjoy siya sa eskrimahan kaysa sa actual churvahan?

Hakhakhak!

Kung minsan, masarap din daw tikman ang bawal. Hahahahahahaha!

Did I hit the nail right on its head guys? Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Shocking ang pagkakatapyas ng ilong ng kontrobersyal na personalidad

HAKHAKHAK! Nakatatawa naman ang itzu sa ngayon ng babaing personalidad na’to na sa tindi ng insecurity sa pambabae ng kanyang mister ay wala nang ginawa kundi ang baguhin ang kanyang natural endowments. Hakhakhak!

Okay na sana ‘yung pinakinis niya nang todo-todo ang kanyang sarili at nagpalagay ng boobsies na bigger than the usual bumpers that she used to possess.

Pero ang pinagtatawanan talaga ng mga otaw ay ang ginawa niyang pagpapatapyas ng kanyang dati-rati’y matangos albeit a little bit mannish nose.

Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway you look at it, nakatatawa talaga ang ginawang ‘paglagare’ (paglagare raw, O! Hakhakhak!) ng kanyang nose para lang lumiit ito at maging feminine supposedly in the process.

Ang kaso, naging katawa-tawa ang kanyang hitsura dahil sa kanyang nilagareng nosing.

Ano ba ‘yan? Hakhakhak!

Lumiit nga ang kanyang ilong pero ang shape ng kanyang mukha ay di naman nagbago. Hahahahahaha!

Kaaning talaga.

Ang ending, hindi kaya maging katawa-tawa na siya sa kanyang pinaggagagawa? Hakhakhak!

Tama na, ining. Baka masobrahan ka ay matulad ka sa isang personalidad diyan na di hamak na maganda nu’ng time na wala pa siyang retoke sa katawan at pawang orig pa ang kanyang chasis. Hakhakhak!

Sometimes, you need to give it first a serious thought bago mo baguhin ang anumang likas sa ‘yo.

‘Yun lang!

***

Star Cinema alam ang worth ni Ate Vi

HINDI pa man in full blast ang pagsu-shoot ng Star Cinema movie ni Queenstar Vilma Santos (the one where she co-stars with Kim Chiu), Star Cinema is allegedly offering another three picture contract with the unsinkable star.

Ikaw na ang maging super bankable, movie producers would naturally be knocking at your door with such feverish intensity. Hahahahaha!

Ang maganda pa kay Ate Vi, she is a veritable professional.

When she commits herself to anything, rest assured that she’s going to do it at all cost.

Come hell or high water.

The very moment she gives you her word, you can bet on it because she happens to be a real pro.

Hindi ba tulad ng iba riyan na kung saan-saan pinupuntahan ng production people dahil nagdidiwara at nagsusugal. Hakhakhak!

I don’t have to mention names, you guys know who I’m referring to. Hahahahahhaa!

Anyway, in a span of more than four decades, Ate Vi has been able to establish an umblemished reputation in the field of politics and show business as well.

No wonder, she’s highly respected and highly esteemed as well.

Ikaw na ang maging Queenstar for all Seasons!

Magsu-shoot nga pala ng kanyang Star Cinema movie si Ate Vi on the first few days of October. After which, sa semestral break ni Ryan na simultaneous naman with sa Senate break ni Ralph Recto, the whole family is going to take a two-week vacation in the States.

The hardworking governor of Batangas is going to spend her natal day in L.A., as she is badly in need of a vacation after the backbreaking activities that she has had of late.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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