Numero unong user si Imelda Papin

HAHAHAHAHA! How amusing naman itong si Ms. Imelda Papin, the woman who deludes herself with the false belief that she’s still the formidable queen of local-tin-pan alley when it’s been decades since her medium has faded out of the scene and become as extinct as the kind of songs that she has always favored to sing. Hahaahahahaha!

How gross!

Such delusions. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Anyway, halatadong numero unong user itong si Papin, just like the aging woman at TV5 Cristinelli Salazar Fermin.

Cheap!

Looking back, and this was the time when I was still a part of the rating Juicy before the obese nganga queen Ferminata took over (Hakhakhak!) and destroyed every single good impression that the show had assiduously impressed on so many people, Papin was surprisingly affable and amiable in her dealings with us in the many occasions that she guested on our show.

Grasyosa talaga siya at ma-PR during that time. Hakhakhak!

Pa’no kasi, kagamit-gamit pa kami dahil rating noon ang “Juicy” at maganda ang arrive sa mga tao unlike now when it’s being avoided like the plague. Hahahahahaha!

Di na nga kagandahan ang itzu, para pang nagnganga ang dating ni Ferminata sa telebisyon kaya super turned-off ang mga otawzing. Hakhakhak!

Ang nakababaliw pa, may katabi pa siyang Shrek kaya riot talaga ang kaokrayan. Hakhakhak!

Sa true, if Mo Twister would be given the chance to do a show with Peter and I, I’m positive that his intrinsic kind of intelligence is going to shine through. Hahahahaha!

Kung ganyang mga Tagalistang ngangaera ang ka-inter-act niya, how could his innate intelligence come to the forth and ultimately shine through? Harharharharhar!

Anyway, going back to the jukebox queen of the late 70s (late 70s raw, o! Hakhakhak!), na-realize lang namin ang kanyang pagiging gamitera nang lapitan namin siya sa presscon ng “Protege: The Battle of the Big Break,” ng GMA Network more than a week ago.

Kung nu’ng time na co-host pa kami ng Juicy, along with Morly Alinio and Rey Pumaloy, ay from ear-to-ear ang kanyang pagkakangiti, ngayo’y para na siyang paru-parong palipad kapag nilalapitan namin. Haahahahaha!

Sino siya?

Jesus H. Christ! she’s already a goner while my career in the business is still visibly peaking as evidenced by the kind of invitation that I get from different network these days.

Hakhakhakhakhak!

Sino ba siya as compared to the kind of people and personalities that I’m given the chance to rub elbows with of late? Hakhakhak! Is she a Sharon Cuneta or a Toni Gonzaga perhaps? Hahahahahaha!

Alam kya niya kung papa’no siya pinagtatawanan every time she would guest in any teevee program while insisting with such vehemence that she be called the undisputed jukebox queen at a time when jukeboxes have long become extinct and no longer in vogue? Hakhakhakhakhak!

How amusing, di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Anyway, I couldn’t care less kung hindi man niya kami trip kausapin.

Keseho?

Does she matter?

Isnabin man kami ng uugod-ugod niyang pralaling na wah edukasyon, keber! Hahahahahaha! Ayusin muna niya ang kanyang horribly written press releases bago siya mag-attempt na i-ignore kami, noh? Hakhakhak!

I have stopped caring about that old witch anyway a long time ago, why should I care now?

Bawas-bawasan kasi ang pagka-kuring at i-avail ang services ng matitinong publicist at di mga ganyang wah edukasyon. Hakhakhak!

Di na nga uso ang pina-pralaling, otra vez ang pralala. Hahahahahaha!

Ayokoooooo!

Gayahin kasi ni Papin ang diskarte ni Ms. Claire na alam kung sino ang mga taong makatutulong at di ganyang mga dinosaur pa rin ang pinahahawak ng publicity. Hakhakhak!

How gross!

At any rate, kung gusto nga palang makabalik sa sirkulasyon ni Imelda, the Jukebox Queen of the year 1977, she should be meticulous in choosing the kind of songs that the new music aficionados of today could possibly relate to and would basically appreciate.

Take this sound advice and your singing career would definitely take a more progressive turn.

Period!

September 4 na nga pala ang premiere ng Protege: The Battle for the ig Break kung saan super bongga at di mga baduy ang ka-join ni Imelda tulad nina Rachelle An Go, Aiza Seguerra, Joey Generoso, Gloc-9, Jay-R, Jaya, Janno Gibbs, Rey Valera at Ms. Claire dela Fuente.

Gala Presentor rito ang Atenista at smoldering ang sex appeal at machismong si Dingdong Dantes, Journey Host naman si Ogie Alcasid, along with Jennylyn Mercado bilang Reality Host.

***

Ms. Claire non-stop na ini-etching ni vavalinang Joey de Castro

LIKAS na mabait talaga itong si Ms. Claire dela Fuente at di user tulad ng iba riyan. Hahahahaha!

That must be the reason why this malodorous old hag of a fag named Joey de Castro is succeeding in putting one over her.

Imagine, matagal na palang tinutulungan ni Ms. Claire ang baboy na matandang ito na reyna ng halitosis at asal-demonyo talaga in real life at ang datung niya ay ginagamit naman ng ingratang matandang bakla na more than two decades na nakitira sa amin pero tinitira pala kami nang patalikod, para i-text kami non-stop the whole day and the whole night ng mga nakasusuka at nakaririmarim na mga bagay-bagay.

On top of that, lagi-lagi palang kinukumbinse nito ang old friend naming si George Vail Kabristante para gapangin daw ang posisyon namin sa Remate. Hakhakhak!

Demonic talaga ang dulduling mabahongang matandang ito na wala nang ginawa kundi gawan kami ng mga bagay-bagay na nakaririmarim sa internet gayong ang tagal niyang kumain ng masasarap kong niluluto sa bahay.

Ingratang bakla, isuka mo ang masasarap na pagkaing binanatan mo in all the many years that you stayed with us acting like an heiress na hinahainan at inuurungan ng pagkain ni Nong.

Cheap na nanggigitatang bakla, tigilan mo na ang panggagamit kay Ms.Claire at pag-iimbento ng mga kwentong galing sa bornok mong pag-iisip para magka-anda ka lang.

Ang kapalllllll!

***

Rayver at Cristine Reyes iniintriga

TOTOO kaya ang mga juicy stories na nagsi-circulate tungkol sa lead actors ng “Reputasyon” ng ABS-CBN na supposedly ay nagpa-abort daw si Cristine Reyes?

“Grabe naman ‘yan,” so says our good friend Roxy Liquigan in a recent encounter. “Hardworking na tao si Cristine kaya siguro nagkasakit na ‘yung tao.

“Huwag na nating bigyan ng kulay ‘yun. For all you know, it was a simple case of severe fatigue which is quite hard to diagnose,” he asseverates.

Oo nga naman, many years ago, nangyari ‘yan kay Bubonika kaya na-hospitalize talaga siya for quite sometime.

Mahirap i-diagnose ang fatigue specially so with the kind of backbreaking taping scheds that most movie stars of today maintain.

Anyway, back to work na si Cristine sa set ng Reputasyon sa Sta. Maria Bulacan kung saan kinukunan ang mga maiigting na dramatic confrontations nila ni Aiko Melendez, at ang madadramang eksena naman nito sa pagitan nila ni Rayver.

***

Madelyn Regino ideal mom, ideal wife

MASWERTE itong sina JC at April Regino sa pagkakaroon ng mabait at pasensyosang nanay (on JC’s part) at asawa (on April’s part).

Imagine, in the many years that April has been in the business, he was never rumored to be having some illicit relationships with anyone.

Oo nga’t marami ring tukso na nagkalat, but April has never wavered in his love for his comely wife.

Kung tapos na ang kanyang mga showbiz commitments, he goes straight home, have a couple of beers, then go to sleep.

Ganyan ang kinalakhang buhay nilang mag-aama kaya lumaking homebody si JC.

Kung walang mga gigs at iba pang showbiz commitments, he very much prefers to stay home and spend some time in composing new songs for his forthcoming solo album under Viva records.

Natutuwa nga pala silang mag-aama sa magandang reception sa latest single release niya under Viva, ang sarili niyang composition na Ang Buhay Ko’y Para Sa ‘Yo.

***

‘Garahe Queen’ na nga ba ang gandarang aktres?

NAMI-MISS ng kanyang mga tagahanga ang gandarang aktres na ‘to who happens to be a consummmate actress as well.

Kung tutuusin, never talaga siyang mababakante dahil influencial ang kanyang paparu sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan.

Ang siyete, the moneyed guy supposedly got fed up with the veritably hectic working sched that his lover maintained, he decided to freeze her from her showbiz commitments so they could have more intimate time together.

Hahahahahahahaha!

At any rate, di naman daw lugi ang aktres dahil sandamakmak na kadatungan naman ang kapalit ng kanyang pananahimik. Hakhakhak!

***

Laarni Lozada performs tomorrow at Teatrino

WATCH Laarni Lozada, Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2’s Grand Star Dreamer, as she performs live tomorrow September 2, at Got Fridays @ Teatrino, 8 p.m. Joining her onstage are her PDA scholar friends Hansen Nichols, Cris Pastor, Miguel Mendoza, Bunny and Chivas Malunda, and Pilipinas Got Talent’s Jovit Baldovino.

Got Fridays @ Teatrino is presented by Music Museum in cooperation with OPM and Backroom Inc. Freddie Santos directs the show.

Tickets at P500 are available at Ticketworld and Music Museum.

Since winning PDA Season 2, Laarni has already released a self-titled debut album Laarni Lozada with the hit single Kung Iniibig Ka Niya that was used as the theme song of ABS-CBN’s “Kambal Sa Uma.” She revived Roselle Nava’s romantic ballad Bakit Nga Ba Mahal Kita which was the soundtrack of “Precious Hearts Romances: Alyna.”

Laarni hopes that with her voice, she could inspire and touch people’s lives with her music. She has a versatile voice that she can belt out any music genre like pop, classical, kundiman, broadway, jazz, alternative, rock, R&B, and religious songs.

Laarni Lozada is a Backroom artist. For inquiries, please call Backroom, Inc at 4351108 and 4351120 or email at backroomtalents@pldtdsl.net

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09053195407 and #09339220112 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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