Shalaletch nahahawaan na rin ni Ferminata

HAHAHAHAHA! Nakahahawa talaga ang kamandag ni Ferminata. Hayan at may pagka-impakta na rin ang dati-rati’y baiterang si Shalaletch.

Imagine, shakira naman ang gandarang si Daiana Menezes dahil tinitira-tira raw ng amiga ni Bubugski ang wala namang kasalanang Brazilian simply because she resigned  from their radio show that was supposedly eating up most of her time.

Imagine nga naman, 12 midnight to 4 a.m. ito tapos may “Eat Bulaga” pa ang Brazilian actress/teevee host. Nakangangarag nga naman, hindi ba?

Hay, naku, mahirap bang intindihin ang predicament nu’ng tao, Shalaletch?

She is not a superlady. She needs sleep just like all of us. At least ikaw carry mo ang ganyang working sched dahil creature of the night ka.

Besides, wala ka namang noontime show since taped lang naman ang Juiceless so can afford kang gumising nang tanghali na.

Be considerate of her feelings. Nagpakatotoo lang siya dahil parang floating casino na ang arrive niya tuwing nagri-report siya sa Eat Bulaga.

Is that hard enough to understand?

Naku, ining, put a stop to your senseless tirade and spare the young lady of your barb and cavalier words.

‘Yun lang!

Baka akala mo friend kami ni Daiana. Certainly not!

Naawa lang kami sa kanya when she complained about you in one of her interviews.

Have pity on her. She’s only trying to eke out a living so put a stop to your senseless tirade.

‘Yun lang!

***

Kakaiba ang arrive ng machismo ni Derek

MARAMI tayong leading men sa ngayon but surprisingly, Derek Ramsay seems to be one  of the much sought after these days.

Hayan kasi at hindi pa nag-iinit ang kanilang “No Other Woman” nina Anne Curtis at Cristine Reyes sa mga sinehan, may follow-up na kaagad ito by way of the wacky and zany movie “Praybeyt Benjamin,” highlighting his tandem with Vice-Ganda.

Hahahahaha!

Derek has really gone full circle. After na pag-agawan siya ng dalawang desirable ladies by way of the movie No Other Woman, gay naman ang kanyang love interest sa Praybeyt Benjamin, sosyal di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Bilib na talaga kami sa tindi ng sex appeal ni Derek, kopo niya lahat. Sa totoo lang!

Kung sa pagitan nina Anne at Cristine ay typical na love triangle ang ating mapanonood, ano naman kaya ang ipakikita nilang dalawa ni Vice Ganda? Hakhakhak!

Ang siyete, meron daw silang lovemaking scene sa movie na ‘to kung saan si Vice pa ang na-conscious when it should have been the other way around. Hahahaha! Kung di nga raw nagbantay sa set si Angelica Panganiban, baka mas matindi raw ang naging banatan ng dalawa. Hakhakhak!

How exciting naman. Hakhakhak! True kaya ito?

Palabas na nga pala ang Praybeyt Benjamin in some 100 theaters nationwide on October 12.

Sa direksyon ni Wenn de Ramas, kasali rin dito sina Carlos Agassi, DJ Durano, ang virgin pa raw sa gay (Hakhakhak!) na si Kean Cipriano, Tutti Karingal at si Manoy Eddie Garcia in a very special role.

***

Nawalan ng career nang makumpirma ang pagiging bisexual

DATI-RATI, may arrive sa gay community ang young actor na ‘to na nag-effort pa manding palakihin ang kanyang katawan para ma-entice niya ang mga bading na hangaan siya at panoorin ang kanyang gagawing mga rated R na pelikula.

Ang kaso, nakipagchurvahan siya sa isang ladladerang sexy actor of the 90s na kahit alam nang vaklushi ay hit talaga ang sizzling nudity sa internet kung saan kailangang payzung kang talaga for you to be able to see some of his explicit nude pics where he showed his wares for all the gay people to watch and ogle at and fantasize over and over again. Hakhakhak!

Pa’no naman kasi, impressive both in length and in circumference ang notes payable ng sexy actor. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, di raw talaga nakatanggi ang kloseta nang yayain siyang makipag-orgy ng dakotang macho gay. Nagwater-water na rin kasi ang kanyang vulva nang pahawakan sa kanya ang que largo grandeng tarugs ng sexy actor of the 90s. Hakhakhak!

Oh, well, it’s really hard to control one’s sex urges specially so when you are in heat.

When you are in heat daw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Ang lesson ng story, be discreet in everything you do for you’re bound to lose a lot if and when you give in to your lust.

***

Sayang si jos Garcia!

KUNG hindi lang naniwala sa bukeke ng kanyang utol na demonyo, Jos Garcia would have definitely made it big in Soundsville for she really has talent.

Imagine, ang tagal na niyang nawala sa music industry pero hataw pa rin sa bentahan ang kanyang debut single na composition ng kaibigan naming si Mike de Lara.

Anyway, gulat na gulat kami sa staying power ng song niyang Ikaw Ang Tangi Kong Iniibig.

Sa mga record bars, marami pa rin ang naghahanap nito at dito sa Talipapa, Novaliches, paboritong kanta-kantahin ng padyak boys ang kanyang signature song.

Shakira, di ba naman?

Kaya Jos, bumalik ka na sa Pinas and give singing a try once again.

Kung di ka lang makikinig sa mga amuyong mo, one hundred percent na sisikat kang muli.

***

Vilma’s unique & I love her so!

SOME people are asking me why I’ve fallen out of love with Ate Guy considering how I used to love her with all the love in me.

Well, I’ve said it before and I’m not about to repeat what I’ve said all over again.

Ate Guy is okay and she is one personality who’s unique and really talented but maybe at my age now, I just prefer a little recognition. Not that blank stare every time we would see each other.

Looking back, I was absolutely floored with Queenstar Vi’s becoming sincerity accosted me many years ago when I attended that Regal presscon and she patiently explained to me how I sort of kind of misconstrued the supposed truth about her and her looks as well.

Many years hence, I once again received an invitation from her because she was supposedly always reading the things that I wrote about her and she just would like to give her thanks.

How enormously touching!

How many people in the business who belong to her lofty stature would have that kind of concern and kindness to really just thank you for something you’ve done?

Now I know why she has become the unrivaled Queenstar for all seasons.

Stars of her category just don’t come handy anymore.

She is most unique and I have come to love her as years go by.

Now, people would ask, am I still enfuriated with the Superstar’s indifference and failure to remember me everytime we would inadvertently meet?

Not at all! Maybe I was a little bit hurt at first but after giving it a serious thought, I decided to just take it at face value. You just don’t expect most people to like you.

It’s as simple as that and I should not take it against anyone.

Case dissmissed.

***

Kakaiba talaga si Erich

WHEN I’m home and even if I’m saddled with the seemingly endless editing chore, what a relief to watch Erich Gonzales emote before the cameras with such cool self possession.

She never over-reacts and is perpetually in control of her emotions as she delineates the role of Maria in the soap “Maria La Del Barrio.”

I strongly believe that this young girl is really going to go places and will end up to be such a competent actress.

Sa totoo, she’s one of the reasons why I enjoy watching Maria La Del Barrio every time.

She is a veritable joy to behold as she breathes life into a feisty character named Maria.

***

Halloween specials hatid ng ‘Spooky Nights’ buong Oktubre sa GMA-7

BILANG pagdiriwang ng Halloween, tindig-balahibong horror stories ang mapapanood sa “Spooky Nights” ng GMA-7 buong Oktubre! Isasantabi muna ng programa ang comedy at maghahandog ng bagong kwento at bagong cast tuwing Sabado na pangungunahan ng Sapi ngayong October 1.

Tampok sina Heart Evangelista, Geoff Eigenmann at Ehra Madrigal, ang Sapi ay umiikot sa pagsubok na kinakaharap ng bagong kasal na sina Belle (Heart) at Paolo (Geoff) dahil sa panggugulo ng ligalig na kaluluwa ng isang babae.

Nagdesisyong lumipat sa probinsya ang mag-asawa pagkatapos ng kanilang kasal upang makaiwas sa ama ni Belle na tutol sa kanilang relasyon. Maninirahan sila sa lumang bahay nina Paolo kung saan namatay si Elsa (Ehra), ang babaing labis na umibig kay Paolo.

Sa paniniwalang iniwan siya ni Paolo noon, nagpakamatay si Elsa sa silid ng lalaki at ngayon ay determinado siyang maghiganti sa pamamagitan ng pagsapi kay Belle at pag-udyok dito na magpakamatay din.

Mailigtas kaya ni Paolo ang kanyang asawa kung nasakop na ni Elsa ang isip at katawan nito? Paano niya magagapi at mapapatahimik ang kaluluwa ni Elsa?

Likha nina Direktor Uro Q. Dela Cruz at headwriter Senedy Que, ang Spooky Nights Presents: Sapi ay mapapanood bukas, Sabado (Oktubre 1) pagkatapos ng “Manny Many Prizes” sa GMA-7.

Simulan nang maaga ang Halloween sa panonood ng mga espesyal at nakakatakot na kwento ng Spooky Nights sa lahat ng Sabado ng Oktubre!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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