Dating beauty queen nuknukan ng pagka-kuring!

HAHAHAHAHA! How so very amusing naman ang eksena ng dating beauty queen na ‘to na minsa’y naging sensational din ang popularidad before the advent of Venus Raj and the sensational Shamcey Supsop.

Kung tutuusin, mas eskalera pa nga ang achievement niya as compared doon sa dalawa.

Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, usap-usapan sa isang sosing beauty salon ang medyo may edad ng dating beauty queen na ‘to. Hakhakhak!

Kung career ang pag-uusapan, bonggacious, but definitely, ang income niya sa kanyang real estate career bilang isang topnotch agent.

Malaki siyempre ang advantage niya sa iba dahil bukod sa may pangalan, how could you possibly ignore her still luscious kind of appeal?

On top of that, she still cuts an imposing figure with her dusky skin tone and riveting sensuality.

Also, the very moment she opens her mouth and starts talking, honey, consider the deal close. Hahahahaha!

Pero ang nakababaliw, with all her money and other acquisitions in life, ang tindi ng kanyang pagka-tightfisted.

Hahahahahaha!

Sa totoo, sa tuwing pupunta raw ito sa isang esekolang beauty salon kung saan regular siyang nagpapa-beauty, parang ayaw siyang gawin ng mga facialists at hair and make-up experts roon. Hahahahaha!

Pa’no naman, cheapanggetch daw ang diskarte ng babaeng ito.

The moment she’s through with all the beauty treatments, kunwari ay biglang may kakausapin siya sa cell at dire-diretso na siyang magbababu without giving a single scent to the beauty salon people. Hakhakhak!

Bulok ang sistema, di ba naman? Hahahahahaha!

Would you know who she is? Well, she used to be a part of a popular network’s showbiz-oriented program when she was a lot younger and was being teamed-up with a bisexual host who’s now a part of a moneyed network but with very poor ratings. Hahahahaha!

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EARIST Alumni General Assembly and Get Together Party on October 15

THERE will be an EARIST Alumni General Assembly and Get Together Party on October 15 (Saturday), 5 p.m., at the EARIST Gym.

For details, please call 7161105 and look for Christie, Gilda or Roland. You can also call 0928-5004157 and look for Dr. Noel Cabrera.

See you there!

***

Indie actor puro ulo lang daw ang nakita

SENSATIONAL ang feedacks ng indie actor na-feature natin the other day rito sa ating column. Hakhakhak! Imagine, sooo rami ang nag-react na mga beki at lahat sila ay kanya-kanyang hula sa kanyang identity at sa motel na paboritong check-in-an ng mga vaklushi lately in Cubao, just fronting Farmers Plaza. Hakhakhak!

“Kialala ko ‘yan,” so says one of our readers. “Napanood ko siya sa maraming indie films like Boylets, SRO, Pagnanasa.

“Di na kataka-taka kung magpa-booking man siya. Hakhakhak!

“Kaya lang,” he adds amused,”puro ulo lang yata ang nakita ko sa kanya nang mag-split-second frontal nudity siya in one of the indie movies that he did. Hahahahahaha!

“Pero teka,” he adds all curiousity, “sa___________ ba sila nag-check-in?

“Bawal kasi ang threesome sa __________(another motel/hotel in Cubao) pero puede sa __________(the 1st hotel) basta’t family room.

Hakhakhak!”

In fairness, dead on arrival naman ang notes ng gwaping na indie actor when he did that frontal scene chuva. Hakhakhak!

Hindi naman tayo mga kano na kahit at rest (kahit at rest daw, o! Hakhakhak!) ay may volume talaga at impressive pa rin ang arrive.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Nevertheless, panalo naman ang mga Pinoy when you speak of hardness.

When you speak of hardness raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Iba talaga ang Wonder Gays

KWELANG-KWELA ang mga alagang Wonder Gays ni Lito de Guzman sa kanilang riot na production numbers sa presscon nila kagabi sa Rj Bistro sa Kyusi.

As always, superfab ang response sa kanilang Blind Item na siyang carrier single ng kanilang album under Concorde Records.

Pero siyempre, sentimental fave ng mga bading ang single na Hi, Hello na ibang klase talaga ang interpretation ng grupo.

Super excited na nga pala ang Wonder Gays sa kanilang forthcoming concert nila on October 18 sa Zirkoh, Tomas Morato kung saan featured guests ang mga hunks na sina Polo Ravales, Frank Garcia, Ahron Villena, Baron Geisler with the Mocha Girls.

Anyway, the group will be singing with a live band and that makes it terribly exciting.

At any rate, nagtitilam-tilam sina Blue, Pink, Gray, Yellow, Green and White sa mga hunks nilang kasama at feel na feel nilang haplusin kahit na mga notes, I mean, mga dibdib pala, ng mga ito. Hahahahahahaha!

For ticket reservations, please call 4411276 and 4136791 and look for Maricon.

And speaking of the hunks and studs who’d be enlivening the Zirkoh Tomas Morato show of the Wondergays, we’ve been receiving enormous amount of request that we feature Ahron Villena in his sexiest best. Hakhakhak!

It seems like the considerable gay following of this stud seem not to have waned one iota.

So for your delectation, here is Ahron in his sexiest best.

No masturbation please! Hahahahahahahaha!

Joke! Hahahahahaha!

***

Ms. Barbara Perez is still impressive

BONGGA ang premiere telecast ng “Budoy” ni Gerald Anderson last night. Talaga namang superfab ang mga eksena nina Tirso Cruz III with the Divine Diva Zsa-Zsa Padilla and Ms. Barbara Perez.

Sa totoo, Ms. Barbara still cuts an imposing and formidable figure in her stern characterization of the empress dowager mom of Tirso Cruzz III who’s married to the Divine Diva.

The years have never diminished her formidable acting skills and overpowering presence.

Kung mahina-hina ka talagang artista, huwag kang umekse-eksena kay Ms. Perez dahil she’s going to eat you alive. Hahahahahaha! Titig palang niya’y kakabugin ka na, how much more when she’s already delivering her lines with so much intensity and self-possession?

Do watch it, it’s a very interesting soap right after “100 Days To Heaven.”

***

Magaling mag-host na aktor, matitigok sa isang datungerong network dahil nagde-demand ng iskalerang TF?

COULD it be true that the powers that be behind this controversial network that’s famous for enticing actors of today to join their company by way of offering irresistible remunerations and compensations, are having the shock of their lives because this not-so-young actor who’s co-hosting their showbiz-oriented talk shows is demanding a skyrocketing talent fee?

Hahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yan naman kasi, ‘noh? Mahilig kayong mag-offer ng mga talent fees na exceptionally hefty kaya ang impression tuloy sa network ninyo’y supecagifragilistic expealidocious madatung na kayo kaya dollar ang mga talent fees na dini-demand sa inyo. Hakhakhak!

Kunsabagay, umaapaw nga naman ang That’s Entertainment ni Bossing kaya dolyares talaga ang arrive ng mga remunerations na hinihingi sa inyo.

If that’s not plain and simple bad karma, I don’t know what is. Hahahahahaha!

At any rate, para ma-shock ang mga otawzing sa datungeric na network, the amount involved must be awesomely staggering!

Haahahahahahahahaha!

***

Anne Curits is the hottest femme fatale of the hour

AFTER she delineated that appetizing role as the cosmopolitan husband-grabbing bitch in that huge blockbuster hit No Other Woman of Star Cinema and Viva flms, Ms. Anne Curtis has instantly become the idol of millions. Hahahahahaha!

Suddenly, a lot of women would want to be like her, are aching to emulate her kind of sophistication and feistiness as a woman who’s independent and not beholden to any man but has got some moments of deep-seated insecurities as well, making her human after all.

Ang malaking advantage talaga ni Anne sa ibang aktres ay ang kanyang pagiging bilingual.

Kumbaga, carry rin niyang gumanap ng mahirap, in the same vein na minamani lang niya ang mga esekolang roles that she was born to play or breathe life into.

Malaking advantage rin ang kanyang pagiging isang fashion plate na carry talagang bigyan ng justice ang mga superfab creations ng mga pabolosang couturiers in the country today.

Of course her Sophia Loren-inspired succulent lips happen to be a big, fabulous bonus. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Why make a mountain out of a molehill?

HUGGING centerstage na naman ang issue between the Queenstar for all Seasons Ms. Vilma Santos and the Superstar Ms. Nora Aunor.

Well, I strongly believe that Ate Vi at this point in her career is already beyond pettiness.

What is there to prove that she hasn’t done yet?

Sino ba naman sa mga artistang contemporaries niya ang nagkaroon ng superfab transition from being one of the hottest actresses in the business to her lofty position of late as the highly revered and loved governor of Batangas?

Ms. Nora Aunor did attempt once and she ended up, haughtiness aside, an abysmal failure.

Ang masakit doon, sa Kabikulan pa siya natalo na bailiwick niyang maituturing.

I hate comparisons because in so doing, I’m hurting the sensitive feelings of the opposite camp but I only speak of the truth and I’m not putting anybody down so forgive me if I may sound condescending or uncouth.

Ang pinaka-importante siguro, Ate Vi is most consistent.

Hindi siya nawala sa eksena and in the many years that she’s been in the business and politics, she has never left us.

Hindi siya parang pabugso-bugsong ulan. Kumbaga, tikatik siyang ulang pangmataga- lan.

And that is what she is in the many years that she has entertained us as the multi- faceted actress who’s convincing in any role that she’s asked to delineate or breathe life into.

Period!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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