Kiratayzingly yours na: Too much decoration destroys the position

DATI-RATI, okay naman ang hitsura ng sosyal na personalidad na ‘to. Bagama’t may edad na, passable pa rin ang kanyang arrive at marami ang naiinggit sa kanyang mga kaedad niyang mga lola na’t matrona. Hahahahahaha!

Ang kaso, she has gone so far in her latest attempt to look gorgeous for the sake of her forthcoming marriage with a man young enough to be her son, people are mocking her for her efforts.

Hahahahahaha!

Lately, sa kapatatanggal ng eyebugs para lalong magmukhang bata, parang naapektuhan daw tuloy ang kanyang nerves sa mga mata kaya parang utol na siya ni Randy Santiago na masyadong naging prominent na ang pagiging kirat ng kanyang left eye. Hahahahahahaha!

Kaya lately, in spite of her adroit application of make-up, halata pa ring kiratayzingly yours ang left eye niya at hindi pantay ang kanyang mga mata.

Her body might still be okay, thanks to the religious liposuction and assiduous dieting that she has stuck into for the past twenty years or so (Hahahahahaha!), but her arms, if you happen to be a meticulous observer, are not that natural-looking anymore.

Bigla tuloy naming naalala ang isang not-so-young actress sa Kapuso network na dahil sa katamarang mag-exercise at mag-diet ay parang abno na ang body contour at arms dahil dumu-depende nga lagi-lagi sa liposuction chuva.

Ang ending, parang di na mag-blend ang kanyang slim arms kuno sa kanyang protruding puson at soo laking mga pata, she veritably looks freakish. Hahahahahahaha!

Itong ating subject, in fairness sa kanya ay di naman ganon ang arrive dahil maliban sa mga enhancements ay very particular naman siya sa kanyang diet regimen.

‘Yun nga lang, napaka-daring ng kanyang decision to marry a man young enough to be her son.
Hahahahaha!

At any rate, wala namang reklamo ang kanyang paparu (na dati-rati talaga’y katsangero sa discrepancy ng kanilang age at pinagtatawanan ang age gap nilang dalawa pero nang ma-realize niyang walang future sa mga batang chicks na walang pabolosang anda, mum is the word na lang ang kanyang drama lalo na’t siya ma’y ginawa ring maumbok ang wetpaks at nilagyan ng volume ang payatolang nota, with matching nose- lifting and other enhancements on the side as well…Hahahahahaha!) dahil na-realize niyang there is no life, after all, without her fabulously rich mama by his side.

Sayang nga naman ang mga fringe benefits na kahit na magpakamatay siyang magtrabaho all his life ay di niya kikitain. Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

Ang dami nga namang nota na di hamak na bigger pa compared sa ratbulites niya (Hakhakhak!) pero one in a zillion ang umaapaw ang andalung tulad ng kanyang mama. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Kayod-marino pa rin si Ate Vi

NAPAKA-WORKAHOLIC talaga ng Queenstar for all Seasons na si Ms. Vilma Santos.

Imagine, with her enviable status in life, she is liquid and solid enough that she can afford to take some much-deserved rest and enjoy her savings of a lifetime that’s the fruits of her endless toils and labor for the past decades, she can hie off to the most luxurious vacation spot in the country and savor life to the full.

But Ate Vi has opted to do nothing but work to-the-max.

Imagine, according to the astute reportage of her Girl Friday and most loyal personal secretary Ate Aida Fandialan, workaholic pa rin daw talaga as ever ang sikat na aktres.

To date, sa Mandaluyong City ang location ng first day of shooting ni Ate Vi for her movie “The Healing” under Star Cinema at si Martin del Rosario lang ang kanyang nakaeksena.

How lucky of him to be given the chance to delineate Ate Vi’s son in the movie.

Tapos, ‘yung guesting naman niya for “100 Days To Heaven” with Ms. Coney Reyes Mumar, Xyriel Manabat at Noel Trinidad ang kinunan sa Batangas the other day.

Totoo ka, workaholic talaga ang Queenstar. Kung napaiba-iba ‘yan, she’d take ample rest in preparation for their (with Papa Ralph and son Ryan) US sojourn since she needs to look her best when facing some relatives abroad that they haven’t seen for quite sometime.

But not our dear Ate Vi who’s professional enough to consider her workload before leaving the country.

Anyway, when you’re intrinsically beautiful, who needs to feel insecure?

***

GMA Network humakot ng parangal sa 33rd CMMA

PATULOY ang winning tradition ng broadcast giant na GMA Network, Inc. (GMA) matapos na humakot ng parangal sa katatapos lang na 33rd Catholic Mass Media Awards (CMMA) ang mga nangungunang broadcast platform ng kumpanya – ang national ratings winner na GMA Channel 7, ang nangungunang news channel sa bansa na GMA News TV Channel 11 (GNTV), at Super Radyo DZBB 594 khz.

Una sa listahan ng mga waging programa ng Kapuso Network ang banner newscast na 24 Oras. Ang pinakapinagkakatiwalaang newscast na pinangungunahan nina Mike Enriquez at Mel Tiangco ang nanalong CMMA Best News Programa para sa Television category ngayong taon.

Kinilala bilang Best News Magazine Program ang State of the Nation with Jessica Soho ng GNTV, habang naiuwi naman ng early morning public affairs show na Unang Hirit ang Best Public Service Program award para sa telebisyon.

Ang I-Witness documentary ni Sandra Aguinaldo na “Pasan-Pasan” ang nanalong Best Educational Program, samantalang ang pioneering nakuha naman ng Born To Be Wild ang Special Citation para sa Best Adult Educational Program.

Panalo bilang Best Comedy Program ang Pepito Manaloto at Best Talk Show ang Mel and Joey (na nagpaalam sa ere nitong July 2011). Best Entertainment Program naman ang Sunday variety show na Party Pilipinas.

Nagkamit naman ng Special Citation para sa Best Children and Youth Program ang Saturday morning children’s show na Tropang Potchi.

Samantala, nanalo ng apat na parangal ang Super Radyo DZBB 594 khz, na patuloy ang pagdami ng tagapakinig sa mga key areas sa bansa.

Ang Ikaw Na Ba? The Presidential Interview – ang special radio program ni Mike Enriquez noong kasagsagan ng kampanya para sa Eleksyon 2010 – ang nanalong Best Educational Program, habang ang Aksyon Oro Mismo ni Gani Oro ang nagkamit ng Best Public Service Program award sa Radio category.

Parehong Special Citations naman ang naiuwi ng Bangon Na, Bayan ni Joel Reyes Zobel (Special Citation for Best News Commentary) at Super Balita Sa Tanghali, Nationwide! nina Melo del Prado at Gani Oro (Special Citation for Best News Program).

***

Sariwang putahe kaya in demand!

SHOCKING Asia ang arrive ng bagong lipat na talent na ‘to na dati-rati’y di naman kabonggahan ang career sa pinanggalingang network.

At any rate, dahil sa que sabroso ang nota, much sought after ang beauty niya not only in terms of tapings and other jobs but blow jobs as well. Hakhakhak!

Blow job daw, o! Hakhakhak!

Ang sabi nga, sad na raw ang kanyang common law wife dahil di na niya masupsupan (di na raw masupsupan, o! Hakhakhak!) ang tarugs ni papa dahil pag-uwi nito sa balayzung ay dead tired na at di na rin tumitelag ang nota sa tindi ng pagod sa taping at iba pang activities. Hakhakhak!

Pa’no kasi, roon sa iba, sila ang aggressor at nasa receibving end lang siya. But in some instances, it’s the other way around specially so now that he and his bossom buddy are working out together in the same gym.
Hakhakhak!

Dalawa raw ang wino-workout nila, their gorgeous bodies and their succulent notes as well. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, how pitiful naman for this wife of his, pretty soon, I have this feeling that she’s going to lose him altogether. Hahahahahahaha!

I’m sure. Very, very SURE!

Wanna bet? Hahahahahaha!

***

Gino Quintana indie actor per excellence

THE Philippines is famous for gorgeous young men who are just but waiting on the sideline to be discovered.

One of them is young indie hunk Gino Quintana whose indie movie Sanctuaryo is definitely the sentimental fave of most horny fags and matronas alike.

Gino was officially chosen and crowned as Mr. Globe Philippines via an elaborate ceremony that was held last July 3 at the Pearl Manila Hotel in Ermita Manila.

He dreams of becoming a legit actor like the acknowledged indie movie king Coco Martin.

Look at his succulent pic somewhere in this spread and be the judge.

***

No time for love si Erich

KUNG dati-rati’y active ang kanyang lovelife, (she was rumored to be playing sweet music with hunk Xian Lim many months back) these days she seems not to be the fave topic any longer of gossip-mongering movie scribes.

Indeed, my dear, Erich Gonzales of the top-rating soap Maria La del Barrio’s loveflife has ceased to be inordinately exciting in as far as the working press is concerned.

Why is that so?

Mukhang wala ng ganang mag-entertain ng suitors ang dalaga lalo na’t karamihan daw sa nali-link sa kanya ay mga Darna! Darnaaa! Darnaaaaa! HAHAHAHAHA!

Nevertheless, happy si Erich sa superfab ratings ng soap nila ni Enchong Dee na patuloy talagang humahataw sa ratings particularly in its new timeslot.

Maganda na kasi ang material, bonggaderetch pa ang acting mga personalities na involved particularly ang lead actress na si Erich at leading man na si Enchong at ang anti-heroine na si Angel Aquino.

***

Active na naman ang mga Noranians

NAKATUTUWA naman ang attitude ng mga fans ni Ate Guy. Imagine, lately, I’ve been getting feedbacks from them from the different parts of the country and most of them are quitre anxious about the supposedly lackluster ratings that her soap gets at TV5.

But the good news is that the ad men, Ferminata, take note chakistic na bungalic na lola (Hahahahahahahaha!), are still one in supporting her for they believe that sometimes the so-called ratings are not that credible altogether.

Hahahahahahaha!

Very, very TRUE!

Ikaw lang naman gurnangetch na lola, ang pinagwewelgahan ng mga ad men dahil wala ka na talagang arrive dahil makaluma at oslaers ka na. Hakhakhak!

***

Super hot ang ‘The Buzz’

MARAMI ang nag-attempt na eksenahan ang acknowledged number one showbiz-oriented talkshow on the boobtube na The Buzz but all of them have abysmally failed.

In the many years that it has gone on the air, no show has been able to upstage it at the rating.

Pa’no naman kasi, KC Concepcion na, may Toni Gonzaga pa at Charlene Gonzales, saan ka pa?

Of course plus factor ang presence ni Kuya Boy Abunda na siyang piloto bale ng show.

With him around, talaga namang nakasisiguro kang di biased ang reportage at fair talaga.

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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