Bongga raw ang box-office pero syorak ang kwento ng pelikula

BIHIRANG manood ng isang pelikula ang publisher namin dito sa Remate tabloid na si Sir Benny Antiporda pero dahil sa bonggang promo ng “Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin,” na-encourage raw siyang manood nito.

“Ang kaso, Pete, ang panget ng pelikula,” he asseverates. “Panget talaga as in walang kawenta-kwenta.

“Ewan ko kung bakit tinatao ito sa mga sinehan but honestly, di ko talaga nagustuhan ang pelikula.

“Sa totoo, ang layo ng kwento nito sa pelikulang ‘Ang Tanging Ina Mo’ ni Ai-Ai delas Alas na iba ang dating ng flow ng story at may sense at di ka mapipeste o maiinis kaya.

“To be honest, when I watched Ai-Ai’s movie, nadala ako nang husto dahil oo nga’t comedy ang pelikula pero somewhere along the way ay tatablan ka dahil may sense ang kwento at di nakaiinsulto sa mentalidad ng mga manonood.

“I just hope na ang movie ni Ms. Ai-Ai ang gawin nilang barometer sa paggawa ng pelikula next time at hindi ‘yang mga nonsense na plot tulad nitong basurang movie ni Vice Ganda.

“Sa totoo, nakatsamba lang sila but in its totality, walang ganda ang pelikula at walang redeeming values whatsoever!”

Well, it’s a matter of opinion. But our boss perhaps has a point.

Hindi naman siguro mag-aalburoto ang aming publisher kung nakuntento siya sa kanyang napanood.

I haven’t seen The Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin because honestly, I don’t have the time anymore to watch movies in cinemas these days because of the seemingly endless deadlines that we have to meet from day to day, but I’ve seen the DVD version of Ms. Ai-Ai’s movie and I dare say that it’s a sensible movie that’s well-acted and well-directed too.

Wacky comedies are okay but I just don’t have the feel for it anymore.

Maybe it goes with maturity, I guess. Hahahahahaha!

Do watch it (Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin) nevertheless and be the judge.

***

Kaplastikan ang mga pronouncements ni Charice!

NAKATATAWA naman itong si Charice Pempengco.

Imagine, she enplained from where she was the moment she heard of the news of her father’s unexpected demise but prior to that, she was totally indifferent to his existence.

Ni konting financial assistance ay wala silang ibinigay ng madir niyang may dyowang bagets raw if rumors are to be taken seriously, samantalang they have all the richness and opulence in the world.

Tapos ngayon, heto siya at nagpadala ng mga mamahaling bulaklak kuno as if naman these would compensate for ignoring him unabashedly for many a good year now while they were wallowing in a world of unadulterated opulence? Hahahahahaha!

What good would these flowers do if the person you would want to give it to is no longer around to enjoy or smell it?

Ang nakatatawa, umiiyak-iyak pa kuno ang plastikadang matabang singing icon kuno at nagtataray nang walang patumangga samantalang wala siyang ginawa nu’ng time na buhay pa ang kanyang ama para matulungan ito o mapaligaya kaya?

Too late the hero, darling. Iuwi mo na ang mga mamahaling floral arrangements na ‘yan dahil hindi na rin naman ito maaamoy ng iyong ama.

Plastikada!

Magpa-botox ka uli para mabawasan ang laki ng panga mo.

Cheap!

***

Di pa handa ang publiko sa mga experimental plot chuva

DISAPPOINTED siguro ang produ ng experimental movie ng isang sensational hunk sa ngayon dahil hindi raw kagandahan ang outcome sa box-office ng kanyang ginawang experimental movie with another hunk actor.

Kung sa nilipatang network ay warmly received ang mga nilalabasan nitong special projects as of now, the one that he did prior to his decision to move in to this superfab network has purportedly been lacklusterly received.

Marami nga ang nanghihinayang dahil well-crafted naman daw ang pelikula at maayos naman ang working script.

‘Yun nga lang, the movie’s way ahead of its time, people are having a hard time in trying to appreciate its kind of plot or story.

‘Yun na!

***

How touching of Sir Roxy Liquigan

HE IS not the type who’d tell you that he’ll be there for you when you need him but Sir Roxy Liquigan has always been around when Peter and I are in need of a little succor.

Napakabait talaga niya at kaya kami nagkaroon ng konting ‘happiness’ lately ay dahil sa kanyang boundless generosity.

Dati naman, di kami naiimbitahan sa mga presscons ng Dos (basically because Ferminata was still an integral part of that network) but his generosity has opened up doors we never thought still existed.

Ang maganda pa kay Sir Roxy, di pa man kami entertainment ed ng Remate ay paborito niya na kaming imbitahan ni Peter L. sa mga presscons na hawak niya o may konek siya.

This very good-natured guy was also instrumental in giving us little jobs that was a big plus at a time when survival was crucial in as far as we were concerted.

Maraming, maraming salamat Sir Roxy, life has become pretty exciting when Peter and I had the chance of knowing you.

***
Iba talaga ang ganda ng pag-uugali ni Ate Vi

PARA sa isang entertainment writer, malaking bagay na ang ma-acknowledge ang konting naitutulong mo sa isang artista.

Honestly, I’ve been around for quite sometime in the biz already but this is the very first time that I’ve been consistently receiving some heartfelt thanks for the little things that I have done for the Queenstar for all Seasons Ms. Vilma Santos.

Like I said, many years ago, when she decided to stage a comeback in the business after giving birth to her youngest Ryan Christian, I was surprised and was taken aback to receive an invitation from her considering the fact that I was not considered a Vilmanian then.

I simply wrote some unbiased observations and was surprised when I was rewarded with an invitation to one of her exclusive presscons.

Indeed, Ate Vi has an elephantine memory and she never forgets who among the entertainment writers have been most supportive of her without being told to do so.

Come to think of it, that trait of hers must be one of the reasons for her longevity and staying power.

Karamihan kasi sa mga artista, masyadong delusory at bilib sa kanilang sarili kaya wala silang keber ke may nasulat ka bang favorable sa kanila o pala-palagi mo kaya silang napupuri sa ‘yong columns.

Ang ending, para silang mga tissue papers na basta na lang tinatapon sa isang sulok pagkatapos gamitin.

Anyway, Ate Vi’s loyal followers are eagerly awaiting for her arrival in the country pretty soon.

May promise kasing munting salu-salo ang enduring queenstar kaya looking forward to it ang kanyang mga avid followers.

Ang sarap kayang kumain ng libre. Hahahahahahaha!

Miz you na, Ate Vi. Looking forward to seeing your comely face once again.

***

Nasira ang ganda ng katawan sa liposuction at kung anik-anik na churva sa katawan

HAHAHAHA! Tamadera kasing mag-exrcise kaya lagi na’y dumidepende sa mga liposuction chuva kaya ang dating magandang katawan ay parang despalinghado na sa personal kung tititigan. Hahahahaha!

As a matter of fact, nu’ng time na I was still a part of Juicy, the rating one and not the one anchored by the cheap Ferminata that’s not not being watched in its new deluvic timeslot (Hakhakhak! how cheap!), I was horrified when I looked at her body that was maintained by regular lipo and other treatments. Hahahahaha!

Oo nga’t medyo lumiit na ang kanyang mga arms and legs pero ang puson naman niya’y nagmumurang talaga. Hakhakhak!

Ang nakaaaning-aning pa, nasobrahan yata ang pagtapyas sa kanyang mga braso kaya parang hindi nanormal ang hitsura.

Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Kung nagdyeta na lang kasi at nag-exercise, baka mas maganda pa ang outcome.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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