Ingrata talaga itong si Ferminata

HAD the chance to talk to someone quite close to Mother Alfie Lorenzo and we discovered one interesting facet of Ferminata’s deplorably two-timing persona.

Kahit pala ang pagkatapang-tapang ng si Mother Alfie ay tinatalo ng mukhang engot na gurangis na ‘to.

Looking  back, si Mother Alfie pala ang instrumental sa pagkakaroon nito ng show sa ABS-CBN before pero wala talagang utang na loob ang tanders na matronang ito.

At any rate, kahit pala sa TV5 ay si Mother rin ang nag-pave ng way para makapagtrabaho ito roon pero ang ginawa ng walang budhing matrona ay dumiretso na mismo sa management at nakipag-negotiate na kay Perci Intalan, na sobra ang bilib sa kanya mereseng matagal nang passe’ang kanyang hosting style at hindi na cinematic-looking dahil gurangis na at parang wetpaks ng manok ang bibig on cam. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, she’s been working for quite sometime noe at TV5 and yet the network has never been able to get any ROI (return of investment).

Honestly, puro pagkalugi at kamalasan ang dinadala ng matronang ito sa nasabing network and there never was an instance that they did profit from any of her shows.

Surprisingly, her contract is perpetually being renewed and she’s always being given the best talent fee imaginable considering how dumb she is and how hackneyed her hosting has become.

Cheap! Over sa pagka-cheeeaaaappppp!

And why is that so, you guys might ask? Simple lang, pinagtatakpan siya pala-palagi ng head ng entertainment department na si Perci Intalan who’s doing everything to have his protege protected.

How gross!

He’s after the welfare of the company he’s working for but is too preoccupied with how he’s going to protect this aging woman who’s a goner and is no longer being appreciated by the new wave of televiewers who are naturally hankering for dynamic teevee personalities who are palpably in tune with the ever-changing times.

Hayan at laos na si Ferminata and it’s palpably clear anyway you look at it pero all-out pa rin ang lalakeng ito sa pagsuporta at pagtatakip sa kanya.

Is that the right attitude and frame of mind of an executive who’s working for a burgeoning company?

Alam kaya ni Mr. Manny Pangilinan ang malaking pagkaluging nai-incur ng kanyang company dahil sa idiocy ng isa niyang executive?

You better look into this matter Mr. Pangilinan before it’s veritably too late.

Oo nga’t maganda naman sanang patuntunan ang ganyang pagbibigay ng allowances sa inyong mga empleado but what’s at stake here are millions of pesos.

Pag-isipan n’yo ito. Hindi ‘yan si Nora Aunor na buhay na buhay pa rin ang mga tagasubaybay at kailagan lang bigyan ng magandang produkto para muli silang magka-interes na suportahan ang kanilang idolo.

E, si Ferminata, what has she done to your company?

Ang laking pera na ang nawaldas ninyo dahil sa kanyang kaokrayan.

Tigbakin na ‘yan dahil aminin nating matagal nang natapos ang kanyang panahon.

Kasabay ng paglobo ng kanyang tiyan at paglaylay ng kanyang facial muscles ay ang pagsag din ng kanyang popularidad.

At ‘yan ang totoo!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ayoko ng lolang tsaka, noh? Hakhakhak!

***

Solenn Heussaff is the hottest calendar girl

DAHIL magtatapos na naman ang taon, nauuso siyempre ang mga kalendaryong banking on the gorgeous endowments of stunning female stars.

And Ginebra San Miguel ay ini-launch ang kanilang latest acquisition na model ng kanilang 2012 calendar na si Solenn Heussaff sa isang hotel sa Kyusi.

Honestly, she is perfect for the purpose she was commissioned to do.

Maraming mga babaeng artista riyang kailangang dayain o doktorin ang kanilang mga pictorials dahil unflattering ang outcome but lady Solenn is just Ms. Perfect.

Halata namang kung ano meron siya ay kanyang pinaghirapan ito at di galing sa mga doktor. Hahahahahahaha!

“I used to be fat before that’s why I’m proud of my body these days,” she asseverates.

Anyway, the scintillating Celebrity Survivor Philippines finalist/host was the perfect choice for the much sought-after calendar because of her accomplishments yet down-to-earth demeanor.

“Despite her stature and popularity,” enthuses the Ginebra Marketing VP Nelson S. Elises, ” she is still able to relate to people from all walks of life.

“She’s much like our flagship brand Ginebra San Miguel. Though the product has been around for for more than one hundred years, and has earned numerous international awards, it has remained relevant and is still verhy much patronized by our core market.”

Anyway, excited si Solenn sa magiging outcome ng kanyang movie sa Regal Films na “Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow” kung saan maganda raw ang kanyang papel.

“I know I’m not much of an actress,” she says humbling herself, “but I really gave my best in this movie and they (Regal people) seem to like it, too!”

Oo nga naman.

Anyway, GSMI commissioned celebrity photog Mark Nicdao for the photo shoots ably backed by a high-caliber creative team to bring out the desired impact and effect.

***

Mga leading men ni Ate Vi wrangler na pero sariwa pa rin ang kanyang beauty

I’M SIMPLY amazed at how the queenstar for all seasons has managed to look a lot younger than her biological age when most of her leading men are now rumpled and crumpled and definitely old way beyond their years.

Ito na lang isang mahusay na aktor who was definitely hunky and fabulously handsome during his younger years is now balding and haggard and just a mirror of his former sexy and glamorous self.

Kahit nga ‘yong mahusay ring aktor na leading man nila ng arch-rival niyang si Ms. Nora Aunor ay patang-pata na rin ang itzu bagama’t physically fit pa rin siya in fairness and is definitely very much visible in the biz.

Suffice to say, even her favorite leading men of the 80s are now visibly very much wanting of freshness.

‘Yung bagets noon na madalas niyang makasama sa mga pelikula ay patang-pata na ang itzu bagama’t rich at may mga interesado pa ring kumuha sa kanya.

But his fabled freshness is admittedly gone and is now a thing of the past and no longer visible on his aging face.

Surprisingly, with a little rest and a little make-up, bonggacious pa rin ang itzu ng superfab na Batangas governor and the star of Star Cinema’s The Healing.

‘Yan ang epekto ng matinding disiplina sa sarili, along with eating in due moderation and avoiding fatty foods that will definitely reek in havoc in your total physical well-being.

***

Super bongga ang emote ni Christopher Roxas sa ‘Nasaan Ka, Elisa?’

HE IS not much of a talker and in the few times that we’ve seen him in some showbiz gatherings or events, Christopher Roxas is not PR personified.

Tahimik lang siyang nakaupo sa isang tabi at halata mong ill-at-ease siya kapag marami ng tao.

In the not-so-distant past, we heard na he went abroad and tried to work there for quite sometime. I’m not quite familiar with the kind of work that he did though.

Surprisingly, he’s busy right now with Mr. Deo Endrinal’s Nasaan Ka, Elisa? that’s doing a lot better these days when you speak of ratings since the story has become infinitely more interesting and the twist and turn in its plot have become terribly interesting.

Pero ang talagang surprise of the soap ay ang mahusay na pagganap ni Christopher na unexpectedly jolting. Ang husay ng nuances ng kanyang acting na tinalbugan talaga ang ibang characters roon.

Another thing, no one would expect that he’d be this good considering the fact that he’s never shown any sensitivity in his acting in the past.

Mapanonood ang Nasaan Ka, Elisa right after PBB Unlimited.

***

Walang kapaguran ang AC/DC na broadcaster

NAKAHAHABAG naman ang radio and teevee personality na ‘to na obvious namang attack and collect ang drama.

Even during the 90s when I was working for the famed radio station that he was also working for, talks were rife to the effect that he was very much into this attack and collect scheme of things.

Kunwari’y babanatan niya ang isang personalidad or company for that matter but it was palpably clear that it was money that he was salivating after.

Ang kapal! Imagine, he’s masquerading as a public servant when it’s the enrichment of his own coffers that he’s veritably after?

Anyway, for quite sometime, he’s been hitting Ms. Claire dela Fuente in a most denigrating light.

Kung anu-anong pinagsasasabi niyang karamiha’y unfounded naman at produkto lang ng kanyang highly fertile imagination.

Tigilan mo na si Ms. Claire kuya dahil di naman siya super rich tulad ng iyong inaakala’t pinapantasya.

Iba na lang ang tira-tirahin mo sa ‘yong attact and collect radio program na very Ferminata in nature. Hakhakhak!
Magsama kayong dalawa dahil magkapareho kayo ng bulok na diskarte.

Period. Ayoko ng mga dupang sa pera! Hahahahahahahahaha!

****

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you Nong.

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