Iritado sa papang user!

HINDI pala naging maganda ang parting of ways ng isang bruskong morenong aktor sa kanyang karelasyong sikat na hunk na ang tsika’y mas daks pa raw compared sa kanya.

Hakhakhakhakhak!

How terribly amusing! How would you take it if the guy you’re falling for happens to be not half as well-endowed as you are when he’s supposed to be the ‘male’ in your relationship?

Okay ba ‘yun? Hahahahahahaha!

Ang pagkakaalam ko, okay lang kung di well-endowed ang ombre as long as he’s still bigger than you are, if you know the salient point I’m hinting at. Hahahahaha!

Ang kaso, taller lang daw but not bigger ang paparu but just the same, tineyk pa rin siya ng lovesick na bisexual.
Hahahahahahahaha!

How uproariously funny! Hakhakhak!

Ang nakababaliw lang, the AC/DC actor had supposedly gifted his tall, dark and handsome paramour an expensive make of a car but after the incident, he just kind of become not that available anymore and the next thing he knew (the AC/DC actor… ..Hakhakhak!), he was already courting this beautiful and fair-skinned actress who eventually became his girlfriend. Hahahahahaha!

Tipong pasupsop and run ang drama ng morenong aktor, di ba naman?

Que barbaridad! Hahahahahaha!

Kaya ang ending, sa tuwing magkikita ang dalawa sa network na pareho nilang pinagtatrabahuhan, imbutido (Hakhakhak! kaaning!) raw talaga ang AC/DC na aktor at hangga’t maaari, he wouldn’t want to touch him with a ten-foot pole. Hakhakhak!

Very hurting nga naman on the part of the bisexual actor that after he’s gifted him with an expensive make of a car, he just would disappear and become not that available anymore. Hakhakhak!

Que pobrecito usted! Hakhakhak!

Kakaprasong karner gigibsungan mo ng milyones, kaaning! Hakhakhak!

Ayokooooooh! Hahahahahahaha!

***

May sense of humor at gandarang talaga!

AFTER we’ve seen Solenn Heussaff at the formal launching of her Ginebra Calendar 2012, we now understand why men from all walks of life are infinitely attracted or riveted to her kind of glowing kind of beauty.

Oo nga’t matangkad at maganda siya, sultry and sensuous so says a colleague who’s ostensibly mesmerized with her overflowing gorgeousness, but her appeal lies in her not being that conscious about the fact that she looks positively stunning.

Oo nga’t sa ibang bansa siya lumaki’t nagkaisip pero di ba siya maarte’t ilusyunada kundi parang one of the boys lang ang drama.

No wonder, women are not in any way threatened with her and are even most protective of her.

Hindi kasi irritating ang kanyang personalidad and that must be one of the reasons why she’s quite chummy with the actresses she gets to work with.

Anyhow, ngayon palang, tipong nagtitilam-tilam na ang mg ombres sa kanyang 2012 Ginebra San Miguel Calendar.

In a way, we just can’t blame them for Solenn is the kind who’ll make every man crazy not only with her endowments but more so with her devastating simplicity that grows on you the very moment you get to meet her.

***

Diamond studded necklace ang regalo ni Sen. Ralph Recto kay Ate Vi

LUCKY indeed this Queenstar named Vilma Santos.

Imagine, she is enormously blessed with millions of avidly loyal followers all over the land, she, too, has been fabulously blessed with a husband who’s not only intelligent and good-looking and a big hunk of a man to boot, but most appreciative and generous in addition.

Sa nakaraang birthday ni Ate Vi last November 3, he purportedly gifted her with a dazzling diamond studded necklace worth more than a million pesos.

Hahahahahaha! Laban ka?

Ikaw na ang maging queenstar for all seasons who’s not only unfadingly beautiful but a veritably good person as well.

Di ba naman?

Come to think of it, deserved lang ni Ate Vi ang lahat ng grasyang dumarating sa kanya dahil likas siyang mabait na tao at marunong magpahalaga sa mga taong nagpapakita ng importansiya’t pagmamahal sa kanya.

To be blunt about it, her marriage with Senator Ralph was far from being perfect but her perseverance and tenacity have paid off beautifully, she’s now reaping the fruits of her mammoth of sufferings.

Hindi kasi siya ang tipong ipinagmamaingay pa ang kung anumang problemang kinahaharap nilang mag-asawa.

Naniniwala kasi si Ate Vi that there are things better left unsaid.

Ang maganda pa kay Ate Vi, never niyang nilagay sa kanyang ulo ang tagumpay na dumarating sa kanya.

Instead, her success has made her all the more humble and thankful to the Lord.

Totoo ka, sandamakmak ang mga artista ng pelikulang lokal but only a handful know how to show their gratitude to the working press.

Si Ate Vi, perennially busy as she is with her truckloads of commitments and workloads as the reigning governor of Batangas, and yet she still finds time to read assiduously the things that are being written about her by the entertainment press.

Tubay na napakalayo na ng kanyang narating pero marunong pa rin siyang magpakumbaba to the point that she works hard to really get to know the people she gets to deal with on a first name basis.

Diyan na lang sa anggulong ‘yan ay talbog na niya ang karamihan sa mga artistang nananaig kaagad ang pantasya’t ilusyon once na magkapangalan lang nang konti.

Long live Queenstar Vi! There’s no one like you and I feel so privileged to really have known you.

Kay Ate Vi pa rin, I’m slowly being given the chance to know her Vilmanians better these days and how wonderful they truly are.

Na-meet ko kamakailan ang grupo nina Master Joey Cruz, Liam Tayag, Al Valencia, Nar Santander, Noel de Guzman, Manny Nava, Clarisse Pilandre, Belen Solis, Kristine Lomeda, Abby Solis at ang napakabait ding si Cesar Santiago.

Na-touch ako particularly kay Master Joey who is most generous with his fellow Vilmanians to the point of footing the bill for all of us.

Siyempre pa, hindi kumpleto ang gabi kung hindi namin kasama ang napakabait na follower ni Ate Vi na si Jimi ‘Supersweet’ Escala.

Kay Master Joey pa rin, thanks so much, my boy, for the chocolates.

Love them really!

***

Duncan Ramos Unleashing the Knight at Metrobar

DUNCAN Ramos will have a repeat of his successful concert titled Unleashing the Knight on December 3, 9pm, at Metrobar, West Avenue in Quezon City. Joining him onstage are Soul Siren Nina, Prima Diva Billy, General Benjie Bellarmino Jr. and Luke Mejares.

Duncan is very busy with his showbiz projects. Aside from his upcoming concert, he is also a member of the ASAP Sessionistas.

Duncan won the 2011 Urban Music Awards Best Male RnB Pop Artist of the Year award.

***

Kontrobersyal na at pinag-uusapan talaga ang Mr. Philippine Republic ni Mr. Nilo Agustin

I’M NOT very particular about the names of the candidates for Mr. Nilo Agustin’s Mr. Philippine Republic but they are indeed being talked about in the industry lately to the point that even the great Mother Alfie Lorenzon had dinner with Peter Ledesma, Abe Paulite and I just to talk about this controversial candidate named Arbie.

Hahahahahahaha!

How veritably amusing!

Anyhow, impressed din si Peter Ledesma sa superfab na White Bird ni Sir Nilo na located along #715 Roxas Boulevard, Baclaran, Parañaque City (near Baclaran Church).

Bukod sa mga sariwa at makakatas ang mga macho dancers, how gloriously well endowed most of them are. Hakhakhak!

Ang hagalpak talaga ng tawanan namin ni amigang Peter nang may mag-‘area’ kay Abe na isang gwaping at mouth-watering talaga ang itzung MD. Hakhakhak!

‘Yun na!

***

Iba pa rin ang arrive nina Mama Daisy at Ms. Annabelle

MARAMI ang nagulat sa sinulat namin dito sa tabloid natin tungkol sa silent war that’s being waged between two raging amazons of Tinsel town Mama Daisy Romualdez and Ms. Annabelle Rama.

Nakatutuwa raw kasing malamang they are not seeing eye to eye because of some differences that we’ve written about already some two issues ago and yet they haven’t cheapened themselves by saying some veritably uncouth words toward each other.

Well, we are not that intimate with either of them but we have always put them in high esteem.

Magkaiba man ang kanilang personalidad in some ways but both are fighters in their own ways.

Sana nga’y magkasundo na sila at muling magbalik ang maganda nilang samahan pretty soon.

***

Nasira ni Ferminata ang dati-rati’y animated hosting style ni Alex Gonzaga

SA AMININ man sa hindi ni Ferminata ogrilya, sinira niya ang dati-rati’y amusing and extremely gossippy way of hosting ni Alex Gonzaga.

Kung magsalita ngayon ang babaeng tinalbugan ang pagiging ngangaera ng mga namayapa ng komedyanang sina Chichay at maraming iba pa, wala raw kasabor-sabor ang mga blind items ni Alex gayung nu’ng time nami’y super animated na nakikipagtalbugan siya sa amin nina Morly, Rey at IC. Hakhakhak!

Well, why don’t you ask yourself why DJ Mo and Alex are no longer vibrant and alive and seemingly distant and not altogether interested in your show? Hakhakhak!

Kayong dalawa na lang ni tsakelyang Shalaletch ang nag-uusap diyan a? Hakhakhak!

Pano, you deserve each other dahil pareho kayong super tsaka at wrangler na. Hakhakhak!

‘Yun lang! Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you Nong.

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