Member ng sikat na dancers on teevee halos ma-lockjaw nang i-BJ ang sikat na basketeer!

NAKAAALIW naman ang kwento tungkol sa isang fair-skinned at chinitang dancer on teevee na na-trauma na raw makipag-churvahan sa isang super well-endowed na basketeer. Hahahahahahahaha!

Akala raw ng elyadorang girlalu ay mamaniin lang niya ang sizable tarugs ng basketball player na ‘to na mahilig mag-trip sa mga chicks sa show business (Hakhakhakhakhak!). Hindi na kasi siya vestal virgin and a woman of some experience to boot.

At any rate, you could just imagine how shocked she was when she saw the gigantic dingdong of the basketeer in all its fully-erected glory.

Fully erected glory raw, o! Hakhakhak!

Since he’s not pure Pinoy and with foreign blood to boot, he’s extremely well-endowed to the point that he’s being shunned away from by most GROs he gets to go to bed with. Hakhakhak!

Kahit hindi na raw kasi virgin ang mga ito, hurting talaga sila kapag binabarurot (what a word! Hakhakhak!) na sila ng jumbo hotdog ni papa na talaga namang pang-derby ang arrive.

Pang-derby raw ang arrive, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, nagmaganda ang girlalung ito at buong ningning na nakipagchurvahan sa daks na ombre.

Ang ending, halos mag-hyperventilate raw ito dahil hindi na halos makahinga (buti nga, elyadora kasi….Hakhakhakhak!) nang i-deepthroat niya (Hahahahaha! how brazen can you get!) ang 9 towering inches dick ng may foreign blood na basketeer. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, ang formidable size raw ng kanyang tarugs ang dahilan kung bakit walang magtagal na chicks sa kanya.

Nagbi-bleed galore raw kahit na hindi na sila mga vestal virgins. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, for the love of rapport and compassion with matching serenity (with matching serenity raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!) pumapayag naman daw ang mga GROs sa kanya but in one condition, handjob (bate-bate vagah! Hakhakhakhakhak!) ang gagawin nila and no penetration or fellatio na involved. Hakhakhak!

Going back to the noontime show dancer na nagmaganda kaya halos mag-hyperventilate na, (Hahahahahaha! how so very amusing!) sa halip na mag-enjoy siya ay naging traumatic raw ang kanilang encounter dahil walang pumapasok na hangin habang sing siya ng lower and higher dos.

Sing daw ng lower and higher dos, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!

Buti nga. Sobra kasing nagmaganda at akala siguro’y makakaya niya.

Ang kaso, nang maramdaman daw ng girlalung ni sa ilong niya’y wala nang pumapasok na oxygen, nag-give-up na siya and from then on, iniwasan na niya ang dating player ng Ateneo Blue Eagle na ngayo’y nasa PBA na at balitang pinopormahan si Cristine Reyes, ang babaeng may Reputasyon.

O. di ba naman? Hahahahaha!

Still on Cristine, matitindi ang salpukan nilang dalawa ni Aiko Melendez lately sa Reputasyon.

Dahil pinalalabas ng character ni Aiko na kabit daw ng namayapa na niyang mister ang character na ginagampanan ni Cristine, pinatulan siya ng mama ni Rayver Cruz at sineryoso nito ang pagbawi sa kayamanang pinangangalandakan ni Aiko na pinamana raw ng kanyang mister sa character ni Cristine.

I really love to watch this afternoon drama the moment I’m home if only for the kind of acting that Ara Mina’s younger sis delineates every episode of the show.

***

Pagkatapos ng kabonggahan ng PPL Entertainment, Si Gov. ER Ejercito naman ang pinakaaabangan ng press!

MAY hang-over pa talaga ang working press sa kabonggahang ginawa ni Mr. Perry Lansigan na tinalbugan pa talaga ang mga big-time networks sa kabonggahan ng kanyang Christmas party sa press last Thursday, December 1 sa Windmills & Rainforest resto sa may Scout Borromeo sa Kyusi.

Considering his stature as a talent manager who’s not that opulent as compared to the five-star networks in the land today, he showed to all and sundry that you need not be that well-stocked to be able to share your blessings with the press in such a superfab manner.

Anyway, all are awaiting with bated breath sa forthcoming Christmas party for the press ni Governor ER Ejercito na isa pang kabogero sa mga ganitong okasyon.

Kasama nga pala ang Asiong Salonga movie niyang dinirek ni Tikoy Aguiluz, definitely one of the seasoned megmen of our generation sa darating na Metro-Manila Film Festival.

This early, Gov. ER’s considerable following are awaiting with bated breath for the movie to open in some giant cinemas since it’s been awhile that we’ve been treated to an action movie of this genre.

Alam naman kasi nilang it’s a veritably good movie that’s well acted and directed as well.

***

Marespetong ina si Ate Vi

“WALA namang lihim sa akin,” Queenstar Vilma Santos asseverates in an interview when asked about the private affairs of her son Luis Manzano, “pero wala akong karapatang magsalita.”

Sa allegations ng iba na inililihim daw ng panganay niyang anak ang affair nito with Jennylyn Mercado, Queenstar Vi comes to the rescue of her son. “Hindi naman sa gustong ilihim,” she elucidates. “Di naman niya ipinagdaramot sa tao.

“Pag ganyang siya na ang nagsalita, ibig sabihin ay handa na silang pareho at kaya nilang i-defend ang sarili nila.

“Ayoko talaga ‘yung nangunguna,” she clears some misconceptions once again. “As far as I know, nagkakatulungan sila.”

Still on her firstborn, Ate Vi elucidates that her son grew up having good and sound values.

“Ang alam ko lang, si Lucky is very happy with his life right now.

“Matuwain siya sa bata kaya hindi talaga magiging problema si Jazz,” she coolly intones.

As a mom, she says that she never pester her sons with petty things. If they want to open up, she’s always ready to listen. Otherwise, she knows how to keep her mouth shut when she feels that they need to keep things to themselves.

“If there’s one thing with my son,” she intimates, “sobrang ma-in-love ‘yan.

“Puro siya emosyon,” she adds in a highly maternal manner.

Anyway, people are asking why it’s Edu Manzano that she’s with in that controversial billboard along Edsa Guadalupe. “Kayo naman,” she says wheedlingly. “Hindi naman si Ralph ang tatay ni Lucky. Model ng Bench si Lucky, natural lang na mga magulang niya ang kanyang kasama.

“We did it for Lucky,” she emphatically states. “Cherished possessions ang motif ng pictorial kaya kami ni Edu ang kasama niya.”

Case dissmissed!

Still on Luis, sila nga pala ni Ruffa Gutierrez ang emcees sa Voices, Songs & Rhythm that’s going to get staged on November 7 in Batangas.

Sang-ayon kay Ate Vi, hindi raw ito basta-basta lang na singing contest.

“Expect everything on November 7,” the unfading Ate Vi emotes,” for the love of me.”

Oo nga naman.

***

Feeling sikat na radio host nakaririmarim!

EYESORE na maituturing itong nagpi-feeling sikat at intelligent na radio host sa ABS-CBN.

Imagine, nasira ang araw namin dahil sa kanyang inordinately cheap manner of hosting na ang mga punchlines ay talaga namang nakaiirita at nakasusuka!

At walang takot na magpapatawag ng Papa Something, naghuhumiyaw naman sa kabaklaan ang kanyang buong pagkatao.

Kadiri!

Buti na lang, our friend Jobert Sucaldito was there to save the night from total and absolute disaster.

Nag-peak ang kaokrayan ng baklang peryante na ‘to sa Ms. Gay portion kung saan nag-effort talaga ang entertainment press na mag-ayos at magpaganda (pati nga mga machong photog ay join din alang-alang sa 20K…Hakhakhak!) pero walang habas ang ginawa niyang pang-ookray gayung nakasusulasok ang dela niyang bali-baliko ang accent.

Cheap!

Over sa pagka-cheeeeaaaaappppp!

Ginagaya yata niya ang mga comedy bar hosts kaya ganon ang hosting style niya pero para sa aming naghahanap ng sane hosts after working so hard the whole day, gusto namin siyang batuhin ng malaking bag namin para mahilo siya at himatayin onstage.

I love ABS CBN, along with the lofty things that it stands for, but we really could not stomach a non-talent like that who’s repugnant-looking and baduy and yet appears to have this penchant for putting most people down.

Manalamin ka baklang soooo laki ang tiyan, huh? Para mahimasmasan ka sa mga pantasya mo’t pag-iilusyon.

Alam mo kung saan ka nababagay? You’re perfectly suited to be in the company of Ferminata, da ugly lola piranha (ugly piranha raw, o! Hakhakhak!).

Hindi ka nababagay sa Dos na sosyal ang mga tao at mga edukado.

Cheeeaaaapppp!

Dapat sa mga mukhang tikbalang na tulad mo’y mamundok at di magtrabaho sa show business where glamor and beauty are of paramount importance to be a part of it.

‘Yun lang!

‘Nga pala, bago mo pintasan ang mga colleagues ko sa panulat, pakatitigan mo ang mukha mong ngetpalites bago bumuka ang mamad mong mga labi na very Ferminata ang arrive.

Hakhakhakhak!

Ayoko ng pangeeetttttt!

Honestly, I’m really wondering why a prestigious network like ABS-CBN would hire someone ugly and cavalierly uncouth.

Wala akong time sa mga mukhang tikbalang, ano?

‘Yun lang, Sir Bong!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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