Napag-iwanan ang kamachuhan ni kuya

HAHAHAHA! How amusing naman ang nangyari sa showbiz career ng young delectable hunk na ‘to whose career was very much on the upswing sometime last year and the reason why his head has considerably swelled. (But not his dick, so they say! Hakhakhak! How amusing!)

Kung dati-rati’y humble siya at within the reach of everyone, he has become delusory overnight to the point of becoming supposedly hard to deal with. Hakhakhak!

But things are not as fabulously favorable these days the way it was before. Hahaha!

Nakatatawang isiping naungusan pa siya ng dati niyang bedmate (bedmate raw, o! Hakhakhak!) na equally young hunky actor who’s now having a grand time savoring his new position at the famed network he has moved into and is now delineating no less
than leading men roles.

Laban ka?

From the way things stand, talagang may mararating ang dati niyang kachurvahan (dating kachurvahan daw, o! Hakhakhak!), whereas he has no way to go but delineate sexy roles that bank on his gorgeous upper part physique.

Upper part physique lang daw, o! Hakhakhak!

Di raw kasi kagandahan ang lower part ni Kuya, his not so impressive dick in particular.

Hahahahahahahaha!

How pathetic! Hakhakhak!

Anyway, kahit sa network na dati-rati’y kanyang pinaghaharian ay di na rin siya masyadong nakai-eksena.

Sad naman.

For one, his latest soap, far from becoming more impressive has considerably deteriorated at the ratings when his character has become a part of it. Hahahahaha!

Que barbaridad!

Kung dati raw kasi’y rumarampa ito kahit papano nu’ng time na ‘yung isa pang hunk na questionable supposedly ang gender (qoestionable raw ang gender, o! Hahahaha!) ang naroroon, when he was taken in to replace him, the ratings have considerably flagged or deteriorated to the point of practically becoming almost non-existent. Hakhakhak!

Mas effect pa raw kasi ang acting nu’ng baguhang fag, este, actor pala, (Hakhakhak!) as compared to his kind of acting these days.

Ano ba ‘yan? Hahahahahahaha!

Naku, kuya, kung bakit naman kasi mas inuna mo pa raw kasi ang magpakalaki ng muscles at di mo inuna ang mag-acting workshop para di ka nagmumukhang syonga sa ‘yong mga eksena. Hahahahahahaha!

What a pity!

Ang nakbabaliw pa, may mga bagong young actors sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan who are a lot more gifted than he is in all departments.

In all departments raw, o!

‘Yung dalawang bagets na lang na pinagtitilam-tilaman ng mga vaklungs sa ngayon ay talaga namang ilalampaso siya sa tarugs department, lalo na pagdating sa acting-an. Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yung isa talaga, halos himatayin na ang mga baklitas kapag nakikita siyang rumarampa in his tightly-fitted maong pants that tends to highlight his delectable endowments.

Delectable endowments raw, o! Hakhakhak!

‘Yung ikalawa naman na parang young Christopher Reeves ang arrive ay hindi rin magpapatalo sa bukol kaya tilam-tilam to-the-max ang mga clavings at elyadorang mga mujeres.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

“Yun na!

Eh, si kuya, kumusta naman ang nota? Hakhakhak!

No comment! Hahahahahahahaha!

Just read in between the lines, dah’lin!

***

Attack and collect broadcaster parang si Ferminatang nagbabait-baitan sa radyo

KUNWARI’Y makatao at super concerned sa mga naapi ang kulay-ube ang gilagid na broadcaster na ‘to pero saan ka, comparable siya sa rotten fish na umaalingasaw ang baho kapag naamoy mo.

How horribly and despicably cheap!

In more ways than one, he reminds us of the AC/DC Ferminata who tends to project the image of an exemplary individual but in reality a veritable mercenary. Hakhakhak!

Yosi-kadiri!

Anyway, this AC/DC broadcaster is definitely salivating over Ms. Claire dela Fuente’s purported opulence, he loves to hit her repeatedly to the point of nausea unfailingly on a daily basis.

Hahahahahaha! Ang kapal!

Over sa kapallllll!

Imagine, nasa husgado na ang kaso pero mas gusto niyang mag-settle out of court na lang kuno si Ms. Claire para mapadali ang paghamig niya ng andalu.

Kapalistik ever!

Kung bakit kasi ang dami ng career di pa makuntento at panay pa ang banat kung kani-kanino para lalong dumami ang raket niya.

How sickeningly cheap!

Manahimik ka na lang, lolo, at iba na lang ang dekwatan mo ng anda para may panggibzung ka sa mga GROs na syongkang mo ever.

Public servant daw. Cheap!

You’re a blight! A pestilence!

‘Yun lang!

***

Speechless kami kapag umaarte si Erich

MAHUSAY talagang aktres itong si Erich Gonzales. Bawat role na kanyang ginagampanan ay buong husay niyang nagagampanan.

Kung mahina-hina kang artista, huwag kang hahara-hara sa kanyang harapan because chances are, you’ll be eaten up alive. Hahahahaha!

When she is in pain, like most of her scenes of late for Maria la del Barrio demands, you really could feel her pain.

Categorically speaking, she is not a loud actress who tends to depend too much on dialogs to express her feelings at any given moment.

Sometimes, her eyes tend to say it all.

The pain, the anguish, the disenchantment and disillusionment, along with the many things that she wants to say but decided to keep them bolted inside of her.

‘Yan siguro ang sikreto ng kanyang kahusayang umarte. Sa batang gulang, she has already perfected the nuances of quiet acting.

No wonder, Maria la del barrio has become a hit among the televiewers at its new timeslot for she is a consummate peformer.

***

Kung makasasakit sa kapwa, huwag na lang!

KUNG ang ibang artista ay mahilig magpakontrobersyal at mag-issue ng pronouncements na makasasama sa kanilang kapwa, the Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos would rather not talk or give some comments that would put other people in bad light.

‘Yan siguro ang ipinagkaiba ng breeding ni Ate Vi who is most considerate of other feelings more than anything else as compared to other people who would want to bludgeon other people’s feelings just to get written about.

Nito na lang kapanayamin siya ng working press in connection with Batangas’ 430th Foundation day (December 1-8, 2011), hindi siyempre maiiwasang maitanong ang kanyang opinyon sa KC Concepcion-Piolo Pascual imbroglio.

But typical of Ate Vi, she has shunned away from making incriminating comments about the issue since Piolo’s supposedly a friend, in the same manner that KC’s mom Megastar Sharon Cuneta has always been one of her closest confidants in the business.

Anyway, kung lahat ng tao sa show business ay tulad ni Ate Vi na most considerate of other people’s feelings, wala sigurong magiging kumplikasyon sa mundo.

Kaya nga siguro tinatawag na plastic ng iba riyan ang reigning Batangas governor ay dahil sa pag-uugali niyang ito na bago bumuka ang bibig ay pinakaiisip muna ang anumang magiging repercussion ng kanyang bibitiwang mga salita.

Anyway, all roads lead to Batangas city on the 7th of December as Ate Vi and her friends stage Voices, Songs & Rhythm with Luis Manzano and Ruffa Gutierrez as emcees and Ogie Alcasid as the chairman of the board of judges.

Dati, sa Lipa lang ito nagsimula. But this time, it has gone provincial dahil nasa Batangas na.

***

Maglusak man ang mamad mong mga labi, hindi ka na papansinin ni Papa P., Ferminata

PITY naman for the old and obese Ferminata Andalucia (Hahahahahahaha!) because no matter how incriminatingly personal ang isulat niya laban kay Piolo Pascual, the hunk actor has come to the point that he’s already made a firm resolve never again to entertain the vituperative allusions that this obese and mercenary matrona religiously writes in her cheap Tagalistic columns. Hakhakhak!

Honestly, Papa P has supposedly made a resolution never to pay any scant attention to whatever this diabolical matrona has been harping in a highly deleterious manner in her cheaply written columns. Hakhakhak!

Cheaply written columns raw, o! Hahahahahaha!

After all, wala na rin namang naniniwala sa cheapanggetch na tanders na ‘to kaya good riddance na lang!

Good riddance na lang daw, o! Hakhakhak!

Kaya ikaw babaeng ngangaera, manahimik ka na lang tutal sandamakmak na ang iyong anda. Hahahahaha!

How gross! Hahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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