Vaklushi na rin ba ang dakotang balbonic hunk?

NAKAHAHAWA nga ba ang kabadingan?

That’s the 64 dollar question that’s presently roiling in the minds of so many faggots with regard to the intriguing identity of this hunk of the 90s who’s presently staging a comeback after not being visible for quite sometime in the business.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Vaklushi na rin ba si kuya specially so now that he seems to be quite indifferent to the appeal of the women around him and seem to be more intent in hoodwinking the moneyed faggots who are dying to taste what he’s hiding in between his sturdy legs. Hakhakhak!

Well, praktikal lang siya siguro especially now that times are becoming so hard even moneyed celebrities are supposedly beginning to feel the pangs of the hard times.

Hahahahahahahaha!

To be honest, even this filthy rich businesswoman who’s raking in millions of pesos courtesy of her thriving skin care business is feigning to be hardly hit by the hard times, she is not having one of her superfab Christmas parties.

Oh, well, sometimes, people tend to make the devaluation of the Philippine peso an excuse to be able to satisfy their obnoxious megalomania and niggardly ways.

Anyway, could it be true that this hunk who once was the paradigm of machismo (with his supposed 7-inch dick hanging loose for all the libidinous fags to feast on… Hahahahahahaha!) and the enduring papa of this good-natured gay executive who’s most generous with his opulence to the men that he fancies, is now a certified closet queen?

Hakhakhakhakhak!

But then, ang paniniwala naman ng ibang vaklung, na-karma lang daw ang balbonic na hunk dahil sa ginawa niya sa kanyang orig na discoverer/talent manager na halos mapunta na sa mental assylum dahil tinuwaran niyang bigla nang makapasok na siya sa sikat na network na ‘yun at makilala ang mabait na gay executive na naging mama niya for quite sometime.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

How traumatic talaga ang naging episode ng dati niyang manager na nagkautang-utang at madedemanda sana ng estafa dahil na-embezzle niya ang talent fees ng kanyang mga alaga dahil sa kanilang walang habas na trip sa abroad na all expenses paid for nga nito.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Kaya kayo riyan mga bading, be careful in choosing the men you’re going to fall for. Baka sa halip na happiness ang maramdaman n’yo ay matulad kayo sa vaklung na ‘to na na-bankrupt ang negosyo at nahurot ang puhunan dahil sa baliw na pag-ibig.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Que miserable usted! Hakhakhak!

Still on the gorgeously well-endowed hunk actor, he and this controversial brown-skinned matinee idol are presently the talk of the town primarily because of their supposed renewed intimacy. Hahahahahahaha!

Supsupan galore na naman daw ang dalawa habang nagwo-workout kuning-kuning. Hahahahaha!

Work out daw, o! ‘Yun pala ang que sabrosong tarugs ng mukhang Iranian hunk ang supsop galore ng lalakerong matinee idol.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Still on the enigmatic matinee idol, pining for his succulent tarugs raw ang isang legendary talent manager dahil Washinton DC na niya ito pagka-pansin after all their churvahan when the hunk was not yet that liquid and financially stable the way he has become these days.

‘Yun nga lang, nasa balag daw ng alanganin ang career ng hunky papa dahil sa eskandalong nangyari sa pagitan nila ng hurting talaga niyang mama na siyang nakatuklas raw sa hot dalliancies ni paparu sa kanyang equally oozing with succulence na mga papas.

Mga papas raw, o! How shocking! Hakhakhak!

***

Kaabang-abang ang mga kaganapan sa Maria la del Barrio

HAD the chance to watch Maria la del Barrio lately and was shock to see the astounding metamorphosis of the character delineated by Erich Gonzales from her hard-up beginnings to the lady of the manor that she has become of late.

Bonggacious rin ang hair and make-up man ng produksyon dahil nagawang pagmukhaing mature ang character ni Enchong Dee na married na sa character ni Jewel Mische.

Anyway, still on Erich, may nagawa pala itong indie movie some three years ago kung saan si Imee Marcos pa ang produ.

Starlet na taga-Davao ang name-calling daw noon kay Erich ng babaeng galing sa angkan ng mga Marcos pero bow na siyempre siya ngayon sa kanyang lead actress sa indie movie niyang Pintakasi.

On top of that, amused din ang ermats ni Borgy Manotoc dahil leading man material na rin ang male contravida sa kanilang movie na si JM de Guzman na lead character na sa “Angelito: Batang Ama.”

Pero ang nakalulungkot ay ang tsakadung nangyari sa career ng lead character sa kanilang indie movie na si John Wayne Sace na tipong dead as a doornail na ang showbiz career.

Pa’no naman, di minahal ang career at nagdroga-droga, nasaan na siya ngayon?

Oh, a well, at least si Erich ay eskalera na ang mga project na ginagawa at isa nga rito ang Maria la del Barrio na patuloy ang paghirit sa rating dahil sa lalong gumagandang plot ng kwento nito particularly nang pumasok ang character ni Jewel Mische wo’s a lot slimmer these days.

Nakita siguro niyang mature na ang kanyang projection sa camera dahil sa kanyang bilugang pangangatawan kaya diet to-death siya.

***

Queestar na’t lahat-lahat mababa pa rin ang kalooban ni Ms. Vilma Santos!

ACTORS these days are a delusory lot.

Nagkaroon lang ng rating teleserye, how they become uncouth and cavalier if not out and out repugnant in character.

Kung dati’y excited silang masulat, parang so-so na lang ang dating sa kanila ng mga write-ups sa tabloids at mas feel nilang sa broadsheets na ma-feature. Hahaha!

As if naman mas bongga ang readership ng broadsheets as compared to the more widely circulated tabloids.

Anyway, it’s a good thing we have the likes of Queenstar Vilma Santos who’s most appreciative of the efforts of the working press to have her written about.

Kay Ate Vi pa rin, narinig namin ang tsika ng isang entertainment writer na mas gusto raw ng ilang tauhan nito ang dating titulo niyang star for all seasons.

Well, I strongly believe that Queenstar is more fitting and appropriate since she’s not only a star but a veritable queen at that.

Nevertheless, going back to her scalding issue of late wherein veteran entertainment writer Ed de Leon has written a couple of biting pieces on her and Batangas as a whole, I think it’s grossly unfair on the part of the revered governor of Batangas to be written about in such a denigrating light after all the good things that she’s done to the entertainment press.

Ed is a friend but I think it’s infinitely unfair on Ate Vi’s part to be criticized and be hurled with invectives for something she hasn’t done and is not in any way responsible for.

Sa totoo, malaking halaga ang nagagastos ng Batangas government para i-promote ang kanilang lugar, why ruin it in an ostensible effort to get back at some people who are doltish enough to incur the wrath of a sensitive entertainment writer?

I’m a writer myself and I perfectly understand Ed’s sentiments but hitting Ate Vi is not fair.

Ang tigbakin mo, kuya, ay ang tiburciang ‘yun, whatever her name is, dahil siya ang gumawa ng kasalanan sa ‘yo.

Hitting an innocent persona who’s always been good to you is tantamount to biting the hands that feed you.

I’m not siding with Ate Vi. I just would want you to realize your gross mistake.

‘Yun lang!

***

Marianita Lukresya pinandidirihan nang nakararaming manunulat

DAHIL sa ginawang kaokrayan ng gurangis na aktres-aktresang si Marianita L., na akala ng working press ay nagbago na kuno sa kanyang bornok na pag-uugali, meron pa lang ongoing na silent ban sa kanya coming from a group of disenchanted movie press.

Well, kahit naman walang silent ban ay matitigbak nang talaga ang movie career ng babaeng feeling maganda (ang laki-laki ng butas ng ilongski mo, day! Hahahahahaha!) at reyna kuno ng GMA-7. Hahahahahahaha!

How could she be the queen of GMA-7 when there is this ostensible emergence of younger and fresher talents who are a lot better than her from the acting point of view?

Gurang ka na, ning! Maghinay-hinay ka na sa kawalanghiyaan mo dahil bilang na ang araw mo sa industriya.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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