Vindictive at aswang pa rin kahit Pasko si Marianita

DAPAT pala ay si Marianita ‘Aswang’ Rivera ang pinaganap sa movie ni Lovi Poe under Regal films international. Hahahahahahahaha!

Hindi talaga uso ang Christmas spirit sa mag-among ito (Marianita and Popoyita Caritativo) dahil heto ka at Christmas season nang naturingan pero asal-demonyo pa rin ang dalawang ito. Hahahahaha!

Matinu-tino naman pala si Bubonika tsaka, in all honesty, as compared to these people who are diabolical and vindictive no matter what the season is.

Hahahahahahaha!

Imagine, may listing daw of invited press people na ibinigay si Manay Lolit Solis sa ‘mag-inang’ ugaling ogres talaga (mag-inang ugaling ogres raw talaga, o! Hakhakakhakhak!) pero ang ginawa raw ng dalawang mag-inang buruka’t demonyita (mag-inang buruka’t demonyita raw, o! Hakhakhak!) ay cancelled galore (cancelled galore raw, o! Hakhakhak!) raw ng mga namezung na hindi feel ng mag-inang asal demonyita. Hahahahahahaha!

How gross! Imagine, it’s the time for giving and sharing the little things that you have and yet Marianita and Popoyita are cold-hearted and brazen enough not to forgive persons whom they felt had slighted them in the past, hence had no right to partake at their annual Christmas celebration. Hahahahahahaha!

Is that soooooooo? Hakhakhak!

Who, the hell, cares?

You can devour everything that you have, your money included, for all I care. Hakhakhak!

Anyway, ang grand prize raw ni Marianita kuflangga ay a whopping 100 grand.

O, devah? Hakhakhak!

At ang gusto raw ng guranggetch na demonyita, I take that back, it should be demonya since gurangga na siya at almost forty years old na, (Hakhakhakhak! how most fitting and apt) buung-buong idudraw ang 100 grand at ayaw na paghati-hatiin ‘yun para marami-rami ang mabahaginan ng grasya.

Hahahahahaha!

Yumaman lang at kumita ng anda, nakalimutan na ng guranggetch na ‘to how it feels to be poor and deprived even of the most basic necessities in life.

Di mo na ba maalala ang panahong sa sahig ka lang natutulog dahil wala kang pangbili ng kama, babaeng asal demonya?

Anyway, after several minutes of hemming and hawing, Marianita Lukresya acquiesced and two people went home with a formidable fifty grand on their pockets.

Whatever, at this point in her life, Marianita L. should be aware of the fact that she’s no spring chicken anymore and the clock is ticking away faster than ever before.

Sa halip na magpabongga ka nang magpabongga sa ombre, it’s time you get to realize that you’re not young anymore and it will only be a matter of time before you eventually loses the remaining remnants of youth that you’re frantically clinging on these days. Hakhakhak!

Ang press na ino-okray mo, kahit tumanda uubra pa ring magsulat. Kayo, once na mag-sag na ang mga panga n’yo at lumaylay ang inyong mga pisngi, all is lost, my dear.

Look at your idol Rosanggita who used to be the paradigm of wealth and power.

‘Asan na ba siya, hija? Hindi nga ba’t naghihirap na’t wala nang anda?

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

You be careful in managing your finances. Baka sa wala ka nagsimula at hurting most of the time dahil walang pumapansin sa ‘yo, tapos roon ka rin pala mapupunta. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Be wary of bad karma, lola. I’m sure roon ka na papunta.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Remember, llebo kwatro ka na kaya it’s only a matter of time before you lose the remnants of youth that you so are so scared about and frantically clinging to.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Alam mo naman ang paparu mo, once na mawala na ang iyong ningning, nawawala ka na rin sa puso niya. Hahahahaha!

Good riddance lolang ingrata. Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Crayola si Arci Munoz sa blessing na dumating sa kanya

NAIINTINDIHAN namin ang pagiging emotional ni Arci Munoz sa contract signing niya for Viva films ni Boss Vic del Rosario who’s surprisingly slim and healthy-looking these days. Indeed, the things that truckloads money can do to a person, huh?

Hahahahahaha!

Totoo lang, ang laki ng ginanda nang katawan ni Boss Vic lately and he looks a lot younger too.

Pabolosa!

Anyway, superfab ang lafang sa presscon venue at talaga namang super enjoy kami ni Nitz Miralles sa kalalafang.

Iba talaga ang taste when it comes to food ni Tita Annabelle. Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, hindi ko masyadong naintindihan ang mga talkies ni Boss Vic dahil sa mga dazzling diamond collection ni Madam Annabelle Rama na talaga namang agaw-eksena at spell-binding na maituturing. Hahahahahahahaha!

At any rate, na-impress nang todo-todo si Boss Vic sa husay kumanta ni Arci nang magkasama sila sa isang out-of-town jaunt, nag-decide agad siyang kausapin si Madam Annabelle para maikontrata ang dalaga.

So now that she’s finally under contract with Viva productions, speechless si Arci at di talaga nito mapigilan ang maging emotional.

Umiyak talaga siya nang walang humpay dahil good break such as this nga naman just don’t come that easy.

Still on Arci, my first time to see her up close and I’m kind of surprise to find out that she’s classy-looking pala and has the riveting looks of Sam Pinto.

Kaya naman pala nagustuhan siya ni Boss Vic dahil mahilig ito sa mga babaeng eskalera ang beauty at matatalino as well.

Goodluck, my dear. I know that beautiful things are bound to happen to you now that you’re a legitimate Viva conctract artist.

***

Maricel Soriano at her best

THE typical Maricel Soriano ang humarap sa press a few days back sa presscon ng Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow kung saan siya ang lead character, along with Solenn Heussaff, Carla Abellana, Paulo Avelino, Jericho Rosales, Lovi Poe, Eula Caballero, Agot Isidro and Ronaldo Valdez.

Super bilib sa kanya ang co-star na si Eula Caballero kaya super touched siya sa pinakawalang mga papuri nito na obvious namang sincere.

Anyway, nakatutuwang the lady in Maricel is shining through by way of this Regal production that tends to highlight her innate acting virtuousity.

Ang nakalulungkot lang, tipong it’s going to be her last movie for Regal since she’s now a legit Viva talent.

Bagama’t in absentia si Gabby Concepcion, nakatutuwang isiping survivor silang dalawa ni Maricel of an era of unparalled glamor in show business.

Ang mga bagong artista kasi sa ngayon ay parang very much wanting of glamor and people are no longed awed with their presence the way they used to.

Still on YTT, in spite of the length of time that Ronaldo Valdez has spent in the movies, it’s ironic that it’s only now that Mother Lily’s movie outfit has once again availed of his services as an actor.

Looking back, he was a part of Regal’s maiden offering Kayod Sa Umaga, Kayod sa Gabi.

At any rate, the role he delineates in the movie as Agot’s ultra-rich but paralyzed husband will definitely touch the moviegoers’ hearts as his wife cheats on him openly. December 25 ang grand opening nito in some cinemas near you.

***

Engineer Manuel Pablico is one of the most decent Evangelist I’ve known

I’M NOT into his kind of religion but as a person, I respect Engineer Manuel Pablico so very, very much.

‘Yung iba kasing tulad niya ay mga mandedekwat ng anda sa kanilang mga followers at kadalasa’y wala nang bukang-bibig kundi ang walang katapusang contribution tienes, si Engineer happens to be a veritably hardworking man.

Kadalasan nga’y siya pa ang nakatutulong sa mga taong kasamahan niya sa kanilang kongregasyon.

‘Yung iba nga, masyadong tuso at mapang-isa pero si Engineer Pablico, siya pa ang madalas maisahan.

But then, typical of him, hindi niya pinapansin ang mga taong tulad nito and he just leaves everything to God.

Well, kaya nga siguro patuloy na sinuswerte si Engineer ay dahil sa likas siyang mabait na tao.

Hindi siya marunong mag-take advantage sa kanyang mga followers and he has always made it a point to work assiduously for his family and the people that matter in his life.

Sana nga’y gayahin siya ng ibang preacher at evangelist kuno riyan na ang priority lang nama’y makadekwat ng anda sa mga taong nabobola nila.

Hahahahahahaha!

***

Nota lang ang puhunan

DI NAMAN pala kagwapuhan at katangkaran ang lalakeng ito na mala-chunami ang arrive sa isang sikat na network.

In person, he’s not bad-looking but he doesn’t have the kind of smoldering machismo that the camera captures with such magical precision.

Obviously, ang numero unong pang-akit niya ay ang kanyang soo haba and oh-sooo tabang notrisyus na parang ga-tuta raw ang arrive. Hakhakhak!

Ga-tuta raw ang arrive, o! Hakhakhak!

No wonder, nilalampaso niya ang karamihan sa male talents ng nasabing network na lahat siyempre’y sini-simple lang ang pagka-irita.

Ang magandang mukha nga nama’y dime a dozen na but a big scucculent dick is considered a rarity specially so now that men who are six-feet tall are no longer formidably endowed the way they used to some two or three decades ago.

Hahahahahahaha!

Nakasama pala sa halip na makabuti ang mga pagpatangkad na ‘yan tienes.

Hakhakhak!

Tumatangkad nga sila pero ang mga nota’y di naman humahaba o lumalaki.

Harharhar!

Que barbaridad! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Buwan-buwan ay Pasko sa mga loves ni Ate Vi

HAHAHAHAHA! Natawa naman kami sa talkies ng isang entertainment writer na super close sa Queenstar for all seasons na si Ms. Vilma Santos.

Habang nagkukumahog kasi ang karamihan sa mga reporters sa pamamasko kung kani-kanino, smile lang in a highly enigmatic manner ang aming kaibigan dahil sa kaso raw ng kanyang idol, almost every month ay Pasko sa kanila.

Halos unfailingly ay nagpapatawag daw kasi ng mini-presscon si Ate Vi sa kanyang office sa Batangas and each time, the good-natured Batangas governor has always made it a point to, more or less, give them a little something that would lessen up and make the burden of daily living bearable.

Suffice to say, kaya nga siguro good karma si Ate Vi ay dahil sa kanyang fabled generosity that comes from the heart.

Kita n’yo naman ang mukha ng ating queenstar, at her age when most women are already faded and jaded and veritably old, she still maintains her pleasant good looks without the aid of face-lifting and other augmentations.

Beauty from within, come to think of it, is still the best!

***
Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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