Dakotang newcomer sa stage play lang daw willing maghubad (Ows?)

HAHAHAHAHA! Everywhere he goes, faggots are always glued to his imposing crotch. Hakhakhak!

Why is that so?

It’s simple. Oozing with succulent bulge ito, most gays, bisexuals and closet queens alike are riveted to it. Hakhakhak!

Prior to the discovery that he’s got some sizzling pics at the internet, most have the impression that he was kind of conservative, especially so when his coffee commercial came out.

Du’n talaga, parang napaka-boy next door ang kanyang dating. Hahahahahahaha!

Looking back, wala talagang mag-aakalang may mga daring pictorial pala siya sa internet lalo na’t galing siya sa isang reputable talent search sa isang five-star network.

At any rate, tilam-tilam to-the-max ang mga vaklushi dahil nadiskubre na nga lately ang sizzling pics niya sa internet kung saan nagmumura talaga ang kanyang bulge na kuha raw nu’ng time na sumasali pa siya sa mga male beauty pageants na nagkatusak ngayon sa industriya. Hakhakhak!

How so amusing!

Anyway, since he’s got some foreign blood, it’s not surprising that he’s indeed veritably well endowed.

Hahahahahaha!

Ang mga bakla talaga, they have different ways of finding out even the most undeclared secret of a promising personality.

Kaya lang, parang di naman makatotohanan ang pronouncements ng daks na ombre na ‘to na mas kumportable raw siyang maghubo’t-hubad sa entablado as compared sa cinema.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Katawa naman!

Sa cinema raw kasi ay for posterity na ang kuha mo whereas sa entablado ay hindi naman. Hahahahahahahaha! How naive can you get.

Ang mga vaklushi, they always have some ignominiously innovative ways to be able to do their thing.

But at least, it’s nice to look at someone who’s got an imposingly bulging crotch unlike naman some of the pictorials of today’s hunks na piping-piping na ang kanilang harapan, it might as well be a vagina.

It might as well be a vagina raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!

‘Yun na! Hakhakhak!

***

Love, betrayal & revenge take centerstage in ‘Broken Vow’

GMA-7 fires up its afternoon prime block with its initial drama offering for 2012 featuring the stellar performances of the network’s prime stars via “Broken Vow.”

Premiering February 6, Broken Vow brings to afternoon viewers Bianca King as Melissa Santiago, a simple but inordinately attractive provincial lass about to marry her life-long sweetheart, Gabby Eigenmann as Roberto Sebastian, a budding politician destined to marry the woman of his dreams, Luis Alandy as Felix Rastro, the knight in shining armor who will help Melissa survive her horrific ordeal, Rochelle Pangilinan as Rebecca Sta. Maria, the scorned ex-girlfriend of Roberto who will do anything to win him back, – as they headline the newest Kapuso drama about love, treachery, sacrifice, and vengeance.

It’s nice to know that appealing Marco Alcaraz is given a featured role as police officer Michael Pascual. Matagal-tagal na rin namang nabakante ang aktor and he needs the job specially now that he and girlfriend Precious Lara Quigaman is slated to get married soon.

Nakatutuwa ring malamang my old buddy Juan Rodrigo is essaying the role of Mayor Lucio Sebastian, Roberto’s good-natured father, in this soap.

Carmi Martin’s in it, too, along with Matet de Leon as Melissa’s supportive best-friend, Ms. Celia Rodriguez is a working actress again as Dona Ofelia, Felix’s authoritative aunt, among many others.

At any rate, the series tells the story of Melissa, a street-smart woman who falls in love with Roberto, an opulent councilor.

But their fairytale romance is shattered when Melissa was held hostage by an unknown assailant and was drugged and brutally raped.

Her horrifying ordeal seems not to faze Roberto until he discovers her pregnancy and dumps her right on their wedding day.

Dahil sa mga pangyayari, Melissa tried to commit suicide but was rescued by Felix who’s deadset in making her forget her horrible ordeal.

Ang problema, what if Roberto comes back and pleads for a second chance?

Ano naman ang magiging reaksyon ng asawa niyang si Rebecca?

Directed by Gil Tejada Jr. and created and written by Dode Cruz, Broken Vow premieres February 6 right after “Ikaw Lang Ang Mamahalin” on GMA afternoon prime.

***

Marianita pang-baduy lang ang beauty

HAHAHAHAHA! What a pity naman for Marianita L., the delusory villainess. Hahahahahaha! Imagine, si Rhian Ramos pala ay kilalang-kilala ni Borgy Manotoc supposedly by virtue of her exotic kind of beauty that’s very Pinay but, ironically, he seems to be totally at a loss with regard to Marianita’s personality. Hahahahahahaha!

Kasabi-sabi ba naman nang tanungin ng isang tabloid writer kung kilala siya ng morenong fashion and ramp model, “Who’s that? Is she like Rhian Ramos?”

Hakhakhak!

Mukhang ang nakakikilala lang kay Marianita ay mga taong squatteric (no offense meant, huh?) at wah sa pag-ka-schooling.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Insulto, di ba naman?

Ma-imagine mong the brown-skinned filthy rich guy is very much aware who Anne Curtis is but he’s totally at a loss when you speak of Marianita’s identity. Hakhakhak!

Poor aging woman, mukhang nalalapit na ang kanyang pagbabu sa industriya.

It appears na mga gurangis na lang pala ang nakakikilala sa kanya kaya hanggang sa telebisyon na lang ang kanyang popularidad.

Harharhar!

Que pobrecita! Hakhakhak!

Pa’no ba naman, walang ka-class-class at feeling reyna, (dini-deadma ba naman repeatedly si Heart Evangelista na nagpapakumbaba na nga sa kanya… Hahahahahahahaha!) di naman kumikita ang mga pelikula. Hakhakhak!

No wonder, kilalang-kilala siya ng gurangis na si Ferminata. Hahahahahaha!

Pareho nga naman sila ng wavelenght at parehong delusory pa! Hahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Gets mo ng pralaling si Fermi, Marianita, para magetlag niya lahat nang iyong andita. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Nice to see Janice looking pit again

KUNG sa top-rating soap na Budoy ay more on the plump side si Janice de Belen, she was looking a lot slimmer and radiant last night sa presscon ng showbiz-oriented talkshow (Showbiz Inside Report) nila nina Carmina Villaroel, Joey Marquez, at Ogie Diaz.

Anyway, innovative ang approach ng presscon kung saan seated side by side with the entertainment press ang apat kaya para mas comfortable at relaxed ang atmosphere ng tanungan blues.

Sa apat na hosts, mas gusto namin si Janice (maliban kay Pareng Ogie… pareng Ogie raw, o! Hakhakhak!) de Belen dahil makulay ang kanyang buhay-pag-ibig since she was a young lady and was labelled as the quotation princess.

Hahahahahaha!

At any rate, bagama’t indebted naman siya sa network na nagpala sa kanya when she decided to try other avenues, aminado siyang kakaiba raw ang feeling now that she’s back where she used to work for many years ago.

“I have this feeling na star na naman ako,” she wisecracks.

Oo nga naman.

Anyway, mapanonood na ang kanilang show starting this Saturday, February 4 right after Happy Yippee Yehey.

Naiiba naman daw ito in the sense na more on emotions ang babanatan nila at di yung basta na lang mang-iintriga.

Goodluck guys!

***

Masama bang magpakatotoo mga Noranians?

A COUPLE of months ago, I already said my piece about Superstar Nora Aunor.

I never said that I hated her and that my repugnance towards her had triggered my decision to become an avid admirer of Queenstar Vilma Santos.

My being a dyed-in-the-wool Vilmanian was not an instant thing. It took me more than twenty years to deliberate and realize how good a person she is and how down-to-earth as well.

Mid-80s palang, nakita ko na ang kagandahan ng pagkatao ni Ate Vi. Okay naman siguro si Nora but for some reasons, we never did become close, hindi nga niya matandaan ang pangalan ko. Hakhakhak!

How uproariously funny that she’s been able to acknowledge Rey Pumaloy’s sentiments and the late Frank Mallo’s adulation when I was very much ahead of these people in the industry. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang gusto niya kasi siguro ay ‘yung tipong loud follower and I happen to be the exact opposite.

Makita ko lang noon si Guy, sapat-sapat na para sa akin.

But as time went by and she would repeatedly forget my name when my personality is not at all nondescript and easy to forget (modesty aside), I decided to appreciate someone who knows who I am and is nice enough to acknowledge the little things that I can do for her.

Lately, naisulat ko ‘yung mga kapalpakang ginawa na naman ni Nora sa press and I was naturally deluged with hateful text messages and diatribe from her loyalists. Hakhakhak! Panoorin n’yo muna ang teevee soaps ng idol n’yo para umangat naman ang kanyang career.

Bakit? Gusto n’yo ba’y puro ilusyon lang ang isulat kay Nora at ayaw n’yo ng aming makatotohanang panulat?

I am a writer first and foremost and no one can stop me from writing what I believe is the right thing to do.

I’ve been around for so long and has been slapped repeatedly with multi-million libel suits but these have never stopped me from being honest and truthful in my writings.

If I appreciate Ate Vi these days, dapat lang naman. After all, she is a warm and sincere person who knows how to put value into my little efforts.

‘Yun lang!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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