Mas okay ba ang dekwaterong lalaki o mas okay ang silahis na mabait?

HAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s been awhile since this controversial parting of ways has become one of the fave topics of most people in and out of show business.

Bakit naman daw biglang nagbago ng pag-iisip ang personalidad na dati-rati’y head over heels in love with her lover whose dick has supposedly been made impressive by way of collagen infusion. Hahahahaha!

Nawalan na raw ba ng arrive ang tarugs nito dahil nakatagpo na siya ng worthy replacement?

I mean, is the new guy who’s admittedly younger than the previous lover better endowed and more seasoned in bed? Hahahahahahaha!

Well, admittedly, the new guy is younger and therefore has got more stamina in bed when you speak of maraton lovemaking sessions. But then, if the rumor mill is accurate in their assumption that he’s an AC/DC in the tradition of Ferminata, (Hahahahahahahaha!) it’s a veritably fiasco then.

But having lovers like that is tantamount to being stationed between the devil and the deep blue sea. Hahahahahaha!

You’re not going to win either way.

Kung doon ka sa collagen augmented ang nota, better not to have a lover at all when he’ll do nothing but bleed you dry.

Ito namang ikalawa, para ka na ring nagpakamatay sa sama ng loob dahil di ka raw makararanas ng totoong kaligayahan sa kanya in the sense na given the chance to make a choice between you and another guy, he’ll naturally choose him over you for reasons too obvious for us to expound on. Hahahahaha!

Poor woman, with all her money, happiness appears to be such an expensive and elusive commodity.

Pa’no naman kasi, she wants them young (for some highly sexual reasons..Hahahahahaha!) and good-looking and not dignified and more or less the same age as she.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Empress at Ejay mananatiling ‘Kapamilya’

MASAYANG ibinalita kamakailan ng “Mundo Man Ay Magunaw” stars na sina Empress at Ejay Falcon na pumirma na sila ng bagong kontrata sa Kapamilya Network.

“Nagpapasalamat talaga ko sa ABS-CBN management kasi pagkatapos ng 12 years, hindi nila ako pinabayaan,” ani ni Empress.

Dagdag naman ni Ejay, “ABS-CBN ang nagbukas ng pintuan sa akin para makapasok sa showbiz kaya nagpapasalamat talaga ako dahil mula PBB hanggang sa ngayon, nandito pa rin ako sa network na mahal ko.”

Kapwa excited ang mga bida ng Mundo Man Ay Magunaw sa panibagong milestone na ito sa kanilang career. “Gusto ko rin talaga ng action. At kung mabibigyan ako ng pagkakataon, sana si Ejay pa rin ang kasama ko,” pahayag ni Empress.

Samantala, tulad ng mga career nila Empress at Ejay, dumadagdag na rin ang pananabik sa patindi na nang patinding kuwento ng Mundo Man Ay Magunaw.

Sa labis na pagkamuhi ni Doña Alicia (Tessie Tomas), gagawin nito ang lahat para maibalik si Olivia (Eula Valdes) sa bilangguan at tuluyang mailayo sa apo niyang si Jenny (Nikki Gil).

Magtatagumpay kaya si Doña Alicia sa kanyang binabalak? Mababawi pa ba ni Olivia ang matagal nang nawala na anak na si Jenny? Matutuklasan na kaya ni Olivia na ang tumutulong sa kanyang si Sheryll (Empress) ang inaakala niyang patay na bunsong anak?

Huwag bibitaw sa de-kalibreng Kapamilya Gold teleserye ng ABS-CBN, araw-araw, 2:30pm, pagkatapos ng It’s Showtime.

***

Ferminata sipsipera na naman sa babaeng milyonaryo

HAHAHAHA! If you get to read Ferminata Gurangga’s columns these days, chances are you’ll notice that she’s praising to high heavens the heiress of the millions of Mr. Delfin Lee Divine Lee who’s presently co-hosting their rating-less show Juice-less. Hahahahahaha!

Imagine, ni hindi raw naka-1% ang rating nito kaya biglang tinapon sa graveyard shift. Hahahahaha!

Anyhow, even if Ferminata, da tsakang matrona, is going to lick the asses of the TV5 executives, Perci Intalan, in particular, it’s not going to work anymore because it’s a business they’re running and they can’t be forever understanding and perennially giving to the old ngangaera’s demands.Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, super sipsep na naman si Lola Nganga sa rica-ricang girlalu kasi alam niyang may career ito dahil millionaire ang ama. Hahahahahaha!

Knowing this scheming and wily as a snake woman to be shrewd in choosing the people she’ll become too chummy with, (Hahahahahahaha!) Ms. Divine Lee fits the bill to a T. Hahahahahahaha!

Kita n’yo naman ang mga kinotongan niyan, mga taong may career talaga, di ba naman Capt. Jude Estrada? Hahahahaha!

Any comment Mr. Willie Revillame chuvanes? Hahahahahaha!

Sa totoo, never na pumatos sa mga taong walang career ang babaeng kotongerang ito.

I should know, I’ve seen them all!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Pati ang male starlet na si Victor Basa ay praise to high heavens na naman niya sa kanyang cheaply written columns that reeks with so many baduy terminologies only she and people with her debased kind of mentality appreciate. Hahahahahahaha!

Chakaaaaaaaah! Hahahahahahahaha!

Honestly and braggadocio aside, kami ni Peter Ledesma ang kunin n’yo riyan with Rey Pumaloy in tow kung hindi tumaas ang ratings niyan.

Aminin na kasing may kumana lang sa amin diyan. For if not, bale rating pa ang show na ‘yan dahil unique ang aming diskarte at sosi ang dating. Di ba tulad sa guranggang ‘yan na puro kabaduyan ang alam sabihin kaya di na maka-relate ang new breed of televiewers.

Di na uso ang mga ngetpalites kaya mamundok ka na lang at doon magnganga ng ikmo at bunga. Hahahahaha!

Admit it, you’re a goner and people, men in particular, find you exceedingly repulsive. Hahahaha!

Panget na kasi, karima-rimarim pa ang pag-uugali!

Chhheeeeaaap!

Pinagbabayaran mo lang ang ginawa mong kababuyan at pangbabalahura sa akin. Hahahahahahaha!

Pangeeeeeeetttttt! Plastikadaaaaaah!

***

‘The Road’ official entry sa 30th Brussels International Film Festival

UNSTOPPABLE talaga ang The Road ng GMA Films.

Imagine, as of presstime, in official competition pala ito at the 30th Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival of Porto Alegre.

The Belgian Festival will be from April 5-17. BFF is one of biggest genre festival in Latin America. It receives around 700 submissions annually  and The Road is indeed palpably fortunate to be a part of it.

Good things are indeed happening to Yam Laranas’ master piece and it looks like it’s destined to become a sensation at the international festivals this year.

Kunsabagay, all-out naman ang GMA sa pagsuporta sa project nilang ito na pinangunahan ng celebrated GMA talents na sina Rhian Ramos, Marvin Agustin, TJ Trinidad, Alden Richards, Barbie Forteza, Louise delos Reyes, Derrick Monasterio, among many others.

***

Feeling dakota’t ma-appeal

HAHAHAHAHA! Yosi-kadiri naman ‘tong lalaking ito na bukod sa di katangkaran at di naman kagwapuhan ay may attitude na he’s purportedly God’s gift to women. Hahahahaha!

Daks ba naman?

Kung hindi ba sooo laki ang tiyan (tiyan lang, huh? Hahahahahaha! not the thing that dangles in between his legs!) di lalo pang naging ilu siya ever. Hahahahahaha!

Anyhow, pinaiyak talaga niya ang dyowa niya na all out ang support sa kanya pero ngayo’y pinagpalit na niya sa isang chick na oo nga’t maganda at may career pero di naman sing-pure ng pagmamahal ng ex niya ang devotion.

Anyhow, I don’t think their relationship is bound to last that long. After all, he’s so tanga and so dugyot. Hahahahaha!

So tanga and sooo dugyot daw, o! Hahahahahaha!

Masarapan naman kaya sa kanyang Reggie Regaladong notes ang girlalung marami na rin namang lalaking nakarelasyon? Hahahahahaha!

Malay!

Ang bad karma…bow!

***

Fair & square Ate Vi

WHILE we are meeting our daily deadline, we received an enlightening text message from the ever sweet and lovable Ms. Aida Fandialan, Queenstar Vilma Santos’ personal secretary.

“U’re right Pete,” she pleasantly intones. “Vi is an actress for all reasons and seasons.

“In addition,” she goes on in earnest,”she is a person who’s fair and square. Thank U!”

Anyhow, Ate Vi together with Pokwang, Ynes Veneracion, Alan Paule and Ces Quesada shot some important key scenes for Star Cinema’s “The Healing” with famed director Chito Roño at the helm from 8 p.m. to 4 a.m.

As usual, the queenstar was purportedly in her elements and breezed through her scenes with utmost professionalism and mastery of her craft.

Five decades of being in the movies has made her a real pro.

Ikaw na ang maging Queenstar for all seasons.

Anyway, it will take probably more than a hundred years before another Vilma Santos would come into this business.

She’s a rarity and people should cherish her and be thankful for the kind of gift that she’s given to the industry.

***

Top-rating Korean drama airs on GMA

BEGINNING this Monday, February 27, the 2009 top-rating Korean Drama series IRIS airs on GMA-7.

Top-billed by Korea’s biggest stars, IRIS is dubbed as “the most expensive Korean drama series,” with production cost reaching more than 20 billion won or close to a whopping P800 million. It also reaped various awards including acting honors at the 2009 KBS Drama Acting Awards.

IRIS stars Lee Byun Hun (Beautiful Days, G.I. Joe), Kim Tae Hee (Love Story in Harvard, Stairway to Heaven) and Jung Joon Ho (Last Scandal).

The story of the series revolves around two comrades, who are members of the elite Special Forces of the South Korean army. Owing to their tactical skills and reliability in covert operations, they were eyed for a secret service tasked at averting any kind of threat to the nation’s security, the National Security Service (NSS). The two were recruited separately by a gorgeous female agent, who uses her appeal to lure them into the agency. Unwittingly, the two fall in love with their recruiter as their skills and loyalty to the agency get tried, their friendship gets tested.

Witness this exceptional story unfold on IRIS beginning Monday, February 27, after I-Witness on GMA-7.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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