Sa katakutang matigbak ang soap kung anu-anong gimmick na lang ang ginagawa ni Marianita (Hahahaha!)

HAHAHAHAHA! Poor Marianita L., dahil sa katakutang magtuluy-tuloy ang pagsemplang ng kanilang My Gilagid (My Gilagid daw, o! Hakhakhakhak!), kung ano-anong gimmick na lang ang ginagawa. Hahahahahaha!

Hayan at tienes na 8th sexiest woman in the world daw ang ranking ng mala-impakta ang pag-uugaling matrona. Hahahahaha!

Tell that to the marines and they won’t even believe you. Hakhakhak!

The problem with you, lola, nagbabait-baitan ka pero peketes lang naman.

After a while, you’re going to divert to your diabolical self once again. Hakhakhak!

Hayan at lukang-luka sa ‘yo ang mga fans mo pa naman sa Baguio City dahil tinatawag ka lang daw nila pero totally ay deadma ka. Hakhakhak! Is that supposed to be the actuations of someone who’s educated and cultured? Hahahaha!

No wonder, wala nang naniniwala sa ‘yo as proven by the lackluster ratings of your My Gilagid (My Gilagid? My Gosh! It’s so nakapandidiri…Hahahahahaha!) na hitsurang tinambakan pa ng mga ombres na pang-come on sa mga dyodetchi just like before sa soap niyang Mamaya Na. Hakhakhak!

Que pobrecita! Hahahahahaha!

It didn’t work, honey. I don’t think it ever will. Hahahahahahahaha!

Kasi naman nuknukan ka ng katarayan at kaplastikan. Hahahahahaha!

For one, sa presscon palang ng My Gilagid mo, lumabas na ang iyong pagiging vindictive.

Talaga namang tinira mo ang mga taong hindi mo gusto at banned sila sa presscon ng tsakadong soap mo na naghihingalo na sa ratings.

Hahahaha!

As if naman I’m interested to go. Hakhakhak!

You can invite all the cheap people that you want for all I care! Sila lang naman talaga ang bagay sa ‘yo dahil bobita ka.

Hahahahahaha!

Look, na-karma ka. No matter what you do, the ratings of your soap is not in the least bit going to improve. Hahahaha!

Mas marami pa yata ang viewers ng Juicy noon before Ferminata took over and shocked the whole multitude with her flagrant cheapness and untakable ugliness (untakable ugliness raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!).

Tigilan mo na nga pala, Marianing, (Marianing daw, o! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) ang pagda-diet dahil baka maging kalabera ka. Hahahahahaha!

Also, put a stop to that rebonding thing before your hair completely falls out and you become bald at the age of 40. Hahahahahahaha!

Ayoookkkkoooooooooh!

o0o

The incomparable Ate Vi

SOME people are sending in some cavalierly uncouth messages to the effect that lately, I have supposedly become a bought person simply because I love to write incessantly about the Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos.

But honestly, not even all the criticisms in the world can make me change my mind to love Ate Vi with all my heart from a distance.

Yes, I could never lay claim to the fact that I’m closer to her now but I’m honestly teeming with happiness because Ate Vi is acknowledging my efforts to be of help to her in the little way I know how to.

In the many years that I’ve been in this business, I have met so many people and most of them are no longer around but Ate Vi is unique in the sense that she knows how to make you feel veritably important.

Honestly, I’m not a sensational writer and I don’t have any delusions that I’m the best but Queen Vi makes me feel important and ten feet tall at that.

Marami na rin naman akong nakilala sa business na ‘to and some of them I admittedly like, but Ms. Vilma Santos beats them all in terms of sweetness and sincerity.

Saan ka naman nakakitang super sikat siya pero ang sweet-sweet niyang makisama and has subtly perfected the art of making the people around her feel important.

‘Yung nakikita kong pag-i-effort niyang kilalanin ang new breed of writers ay touching namang talaga at wala pa akong nakitang nagbigay ng ganong importance sa mga entertainment writer.

Suffice to say, that kind of sincerity must be the secret behind her longevity in the business, along with her unmatched popularity.

Am I right Jimi Escala?

You certainly would agree, don’t you Ate Aida Fandialan?

‘Yun na!

o0o

Riot ang episode na napanood namin sa Public Atorni

AMUSED kami sa isang episode ng Public Atorni ni Atty. Persida Acosta (na napanonood daily right before T3 sa TV5) kung saan ang nagreklamo’y isang young man na supposedly ay hinalay ng kinalakhan niyang ina-inahan (an aging gay actually that’s being called Mama Nora).

Napaka-graphic ng narrative ng bagets kung papano siya minolestiya ng kanyang ‘ina-inahan’ every time he was supposedly drunk.

On the part of the adoptive ‘mother’, nagpakatotoo naman siya sa kanyang nararamdaman.

Honestly, nakaaaliw ang Public Atorni dahil napakahusay mag-host ni Atty. Persida and she has fabulously mastered the art of using euphemism so as not to sound offensive to the televiewers.

Kung tutuusin, napakadelikado ng topic nang hapong ‘yun pero nairaos ito ni Atty. Persida sa paraang maaaliw ka at hindi mai-eskandalo sa medyo taboong topic that borders on incest.

No wonder, a lot of people are beginning to get addicted to it primarily because of the interesting cases that are being featured, along with Atty. Pesida’s wittiness and comedic appeal.

Araw-araw na nga palang napanonood ito bago ang T3 sa TV5 every afternoon.

o0o

Kinabog ni KC ang lahat?

I WASN’T able to watch it but a lot of people were shocked with what KC Concepcion supposedly brazenly worn at last Sunday’s ASAP. Hitsurang parang si Marilyn Monroe raw siyang rumampa in her provocative one piece bathing suit. Hahahahahahaha!

Ano kaya ang reaction ni Ate Shawie? Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, KC seems to be veering towards the right direction.

‘Yun nga raw magazine kung saan featured ang kanyang first sexy pictorial ever ay talaga namang sold out.

Carry n’yo ‘yan?

On top of that, meron siyang forthcoming bold flick under Viva where she’ll be co-starring with other Viva talents.

Sosyal, di ba naman?

Mukhang hahataw talaga ang kanyang popularidad before the year ends.

Dapat lang!

After all, long overdue na ito and come to think of it, KC possesses the beauty of the face, along with the voluptuousness reminiscent of the eternal sex symbol Marilyn Monroe

o0o

Insecurity is the order of the day

HAHAHAHA! Tinatalo na rin daw ng insecurity ang good-looking balladeer who’s trying to shift as a versatile performer lately. Kung ‘yung isang mataba-tabang birit queen (birit queen daw, o! Hakhakhak!) ay nai-insecure sa kanya dahil alagang-alaga raw siya ng recording outfit na pareho nilang pinagtatrabahuhan, nai-intimidate naman sa ngayon ang may arrive na AC/DC (silahis to be blunt about it…Hahahahahaha!) dahil feeling niya’y hindi na siya binibigyan ng importansiya ng network na kanilang pinagtatrabahuhan, he is contemplating on moving out to transfer to a filthy rich network that is offering him supposedly a fat contract.

Well, ang sabi naman ng ilang well-meaning friends, it is not a sound decision. Oo nga’t malaki ang magiging TF niya roon pero kamatayan naman ng kanyang career.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, money is such a big aphrodisiac, I won’t be surprised if and when the sexy singer/actor moves in to the opulent network.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Ang tanong, makatulong naman kaya ito sa kanyang career? Baka mawala tuloy ang kanyang famous erection na si- yang pinagtitilam-tilaman ng mga tilam ding tulad niya.

Hahahahahaha! ‘Yun na lang daw ang nasabi ko, o! Hakhakhak!

o0o

Syorak na radio & TV personality dating bayo-bayo girl?

HAKHAKHAK! Natawa naman kami sa info na nakuha namin lately mula sa isang old friend namin.

Imagine, with her very plebeian looks, nu’ng kanyang kabataan ay naging bayo-bayo girl (Hahahahahahaha! naabutan pa namin ‘yung mga babaeng ganito ang uri ng trabaho na umiikot-ikot sa mga second run cinemas sa Sta. Cruz sabay sigaw ng ‘Bate! Bateeee!”) pala ang may name na rin namang radio and teevee personality na ‘to na di naman kagandahan. Hakhakhak!

But then, in dimly lit place like that, what’s importance is youth, along with the expertise of your hands in making them achieve ‘release’ the easy way while they are viewing some cheap erotic flicks on the side. Hahahahahaha!

She has indeed gone a long, long way.

Now the set-up has been ignominiously reversed. Siya naman ang payzung para paligayahin ng mga young ombres na chopelya niya ever while she’s busy doing some fingering blues (fingering blues raw, o! Hahahahahaha!) on the side. Hahahahahaha!

Was na lang pagka-mention ng kanyang name. Kawawa naman.

Kawawa naman daw, o! Hakhakhak!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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