Vicki Belo dapat nang mag-diet!

MAGANDA naman sana si Vicki Belo pero lately, parang di na siya freshness at parang lumalapad na’t di na kasing-slim tulad ng dati.

Totoo ka, kapag nagkakaedad ka na, you have to be extra-cautious and follow Queenstar Vilma Santos dictum of being too particular with the kind of food that you eat, and should be maintaining a daily exercise regimen that you should stick to no matter how hectic or physically fatiguing your activities and commitments may be.

Kapag iniaasa mo kasi sa mga turuk-turok tienes at iba pang ka-echosan na ‘yan most of the time, chances are you’ll end up looking ridiculous like most of the women I get to see who’ve been resorting to these ‘treatments’ that are supposedly intended to make you look fresh and young when the outcome is exactly the opposite and hila- riously devastating. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Looking young and svelte in your 50s should start when you’re in your late 20s just like what Ate Vi did when she was a lot younger.

Dahil tabain siya at madaling mag-resurrect ang fats sa kanyang katawan, she has resorted to daily fatiguing exercises no matter how busy her sched might be.

Hindi rin siya ang tipong bumibigay sa kanyang appetite and very seldom would eat heartily.

Si Doctor Vicki seems to have forgotten her strict diet regimen lately that is why she is fast leaning these days on the heavy side.

Dati’y trim and svelte talaga ang kanyang pangangatawan but this is no longer the case that’s why the libidinous and intrinsically womanizing Hayden Kho appears to be looking longingly at the direction of younger woman who are beautiful and svelte the natural way.

The natural way raw, O! Hakhakhak!

Even her eyes have become prominently not of the same size anymore. Hahahahaha!

I’m not very sure if it’s her left or right eye but I’m positive one is bigger than the other because of eyebag removal or whatever treatment she has undergone to give her the semblance of youth.

No wonder Hayden Kho and his collagened dick (collagened dick, o! Hahahahaha!) is now horny while looking at the opposite direction where young and svelte women a- bound. Hahahahahaha!

Kaya kayo riyan, if you want to have the beautiful and svelte body of Queenstar Vi at an age when most women consider themselves old and dissipated, maintain a slim body all throughout by way of discipline and avoiding treatments that tend to pro- mise instant youth and beauty.

Going back to Doctor Vicki, I guess it’s high time that she listens to the wisdom of her son and daughter.

I-enjoy na lang niya ang kanyang mga suitors just like before and try to maintain a more objective point of view.

Happiness will positively elude her if she keeps on craving for a relationship with a young but delusory guy like Hayden.

Parang sirang plakang paulit-ulit na lang ang drama nilang dalawa.

Hindi na magbabago ‘yang si Hayden lalo na’t nagka-nota pa dahil sa collagen injections at bomongga ang nose tienes dahil sa effect na nosejob na ginawa ng Belo group of surgeons.

Belo group of surgeons raw, o! Hahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!
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NAANING-ANING NA NAMAN ANG FANSITAS NI MARIANITA PLASTIKADA Y CHURVA! (HAHAHA!)

TEXT brigade na naman ang mga fansitas ni Marianita na bobita bumblebee ring tulad ng plastikadang idol nila na pilit na nagbabata-bataan, nakalbo na tuloy sa sobrang rebonding chuva. Hahahahahahaha!

So what if I was not invited at the presscon of her cheap soap that will abysmally flop anyway? Hahahahahaha!

Sa takot ni Marianita L., (L for Lukresya..Hakhakhak!) tinambakan na naman ito (her cheap soap,I mean..Hahahahahaha!) ng mga notas just like her cheap fantaserye be- fore the title of which I can’t remember anymore.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Hindi kaya may vaklushi na naman diyan just like before? Hahahahahaha!

Anyhow, you cheap dolts can send in your senseless messages the whole day and the whole night if you want to, for all I care. Hahahahahahaha!

I-text n’yo na lang ang Lola Ferminata n’yo na nagnganganga na lang lately sa kawalan ng viewers ng walang kakatas-katas na Juiceless. Hahahahahahahaha!

Bakit hindi niya pinagtatanggol ang idolo n’yong sipsipera na kuno sa gurang na mukhang anda? Hahahahahahahaha!

May credibility ba naman kasi? Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, mag-praise the lord man maya’t-maya ang idolo n’yong plastikada, it’s not going to work. Hahahahahaha!

Alam naman ng publiko kung tienelyn lang ang drama o bogus. Hakhakhak!

Please tell Marianita to put a stop to this rebonding thing dahil numinipis na ang buhok niyang dati-rati’y asset niya.

Kita n’yo nang mag-guest sa Startalk last Saturday panay ang ayos sa meticulously coiffed na hairing niya dahil nagmumukha siyang nakakalbo na sa harap ng camera.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Beauty is skin deep, lola. It’s not something that you achieve through the artificial way. Hahahahahaha!

Dapat ginawa na lang siyang bampira, mas effect pa sa kanya dahil siya na ‘yun at di na kailangang magkunwari pa. Harharharharhar!

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BOLITAS NI PAPA TUYUNG-TUYO NA (HAHAHAHAHA!)

Some two decades ago when I was just a novice in the business, I had an amusing encounter with this oozing with machismo character actor who had a director for a brother.

During our interview somewhere in their Escolta, Manila office, he got so animated and excited, he started talking about this thing called bolitas that was very much in vogue then (collagen injection na ang uso ngayon, ano?

Hahahahahaha!) among men of his stripe.

Out of the blue, bigla niyang binuksan ang kanyang zipper at presto! Na-sight namin in full regalia ang soo taba and oh-ssooo haba niyang nota.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Medyo na-shock ang lady publisher na kasama namin who was with us that time.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Tanghaling tapat ba naman kasi tapos ibinuyangyang ang notang fully erected talaga dahil tinablan siguro sa aming matinding sex appeal (matinding sex appeal daw, o!)? Hakhakhakhakhak!

Anyway, hindi pa talaga niya itinago ang kanyang ratbulites at pina-touch pa sa amin ang kanyang bolitas. Hahahahahahaha!

Di i-touch. Hakhakhakhakhak!

Blushing galore talaga ang medyo may edad na naming publisher pero kami’y cool na  cool na natatawa lang.

Di na kami virgin sa mga ganong kaganapan, ano? Hakhakhakhak!

Biglang fast forward tayo sa taong 2012 na. Millennium na.

Party ng isang congregation kung saan may mga showbiz people na kaanib.

Habang kumakain kami, looking into the eyes of love ang isang lalakeng di na kabataan.

“Di mo na ba ako nakikilala, Pete,” talkies nito habang papalapit sa amin. “Ako si……..(he mentioned his name in full regalia…Hahahahaha!)”

“Gusto mo pa bang makita ang bolitas ko?” he says enticingly. Hakhakhak!

After seeing the succulent notes of the macho dancers at Whitebird gay bar, parang nawalan na ng arrive si kuya lalo na’t kulubotsina na ang kanyang balat at halos puti na ang dati-rati’y jetblack hair niya.

How sad!

Aging is indeed such a bitch particularly so when you’re not banidoso and quite particular with your body.

Kumusta kaya ang kanyang bolitas? Matikas pa kayang tulad nang dati?

Hahahahahahahaha!

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