Bayaran mo raw Maja ang more than P200K na pagkakautang mo sa dati mong manager!

NATATAWA na lang si Manay Chit Ramos sa lumabas nating banner story nito lang tungkol sa pananaray ni Maja Salvador sa isang local ng Tandag City na nasampolan ng uncouth ways ng dati niyang alaga porke’t nasagi lang ito unintentionally though, while she was on her way to the powder room.

“Naku, hamo na siyang magtaray hangga’t gusto niya,” says Manay Chit in an amused manner. “Ang asikasuhin niya ‘kamo, magkaroon muli siya ng series of endorsements tulad nung time namin kung saan she had no less than 13 endorsements.

“Reynang talaga siya noon ng endorsements dahil ang sipag kong maghanap ng produktong siya ang kukuning endorser.

“Kita mo naman kung paano ako noong magtrabaho,” she hastens to add in earnest. “Dala-dala ko talaga ‘yung mga produktong ini-endorso niya at kung kani-kanino ko pinamimigay para magka-publicity lang siya.

“Sa ngayon, meron pa ba siyang endorsements na tulad nu’ng dati na namumunining tunay talaga siya?

“Swerte ng meron siyang isa o dalawa kaya. Hindi ba naman?”

Corrected by!

Corrected by raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!

Anyhow, with the hard times, bigla tuloy naalala ni Manay Chit ang outstanding payables pa raw sa kanya ni Majita, the amnesiac girlita. Hahahahahahahaha!

True ba na amounting to a cool 100 grand pa ito?

“More!” she trills like a busted organ. Hahahahahaha!

Could it be 200K?

“A little bit more than that,” she avers with raised eyebrow.”

Pero ganon na rin halos.

“Pero wala na talagang balak magbayad ang babaeng ‘yan dahil nagtatago na. Ang tindi niya, kabayan!”  Ganuned? Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, two hundred thousand is admittedly a fortune specially so now when money’s admittedly scarce.

Maherak ka ne! Ano ka ba? Pinagtrabahuhan nung tao tapos ayaw mong igibsona ang para sa kanya?

Que barbaridad!

Kaya naman dinadaporak ka ng bad karma or comeuppance.

So far, wala ka pa yatang nag-hit na pelikula at karamiha’y sadsad sa takilya.

Naku maja blanca, pay ka na ‘teh! Bad ‘yan.

Baka ang ending maging karmatic ang beauty mo at magbalik ka sa starlet (starlet daw, o! hakhakhakhak!) status mo kahit na may talent ka naman, in fairness!

In fairness raw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

At any rate, di raw dapat magreklamo ang kampo ni Maja kung di man siya nanalo sa mga award giving bodies lately.

“Dae man talaga siya manggagana (“She really is not going to win.”) kung Thelma ang ipanglalaban niya for the simole reason na wala naman siyang ginawa roon kundi tumakbo nang tumakbo. Hahahahahahahaha!

“She is a good actress, that we have to give it to her, but not in Thelma. Kung iba pa, baka sakali.”

Ganuned? Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Well, I wasn’t able to see it so I could not give an honest judgment.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, bago kami nagkahiwalay ni Manay Chit, inulit na naman nito ang kanyang panawagan sa rating alagang si Maja Fordrida (Maja Fordrida raw, o! Hakhakhakhak!). Payzung ka na raw, hija dahil need na ni Manay Chit.

Ikaw rin, baka dapurakin ka ng bad karma. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Papalicious Eugene Tejada

HE doesn’t have any foreign blood but some say that he’s got some Japanese input. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, Eugene was the grand winner in the search for Hot Hunks TV 2010 and one of the winners too for the search for Hotmen 2010.

***

BB Gandanghari anorexic & pa-mystery effect

SANDAMAKMAK ang nag-text sa atin para mag-react sa guesting ni BB Gandanghari last Saturday (March 17) sa Parazzi kung saan si Mariel Rodriguez ang nag-interview dahil hindi raw ito carry ni Zoren Legaspi.

Buhkkkitttttttt? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Naduwag ba si Zoren sa maaaring maging opinyon ng mga blogger (mga bloggers raw, o! Hahahahaha!)?

Anyway, say ng mga readers natin, super (wala na kasing nourishment… Hahahahaha!) dry na raw ang hairing ni Ms. Gandanghari and he was looking a lot better when he left the country sometime last year as compared to now when he’s already emaciated and shockingly anorexic. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Imagine nga naman, from 140 lbs., she is now light as a feather with her new weight which is 115 lbs.

Shakira!

Gusto ba niyang maging millennium version ng sensational model of the 60s na si Twiggy?

Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, I don’t think Rustom’s that doltish and stupid to let go of his succulent dick (that’s huge by Pinoy standard… Hahahahahahaha!) that’s a big advantage even among the gays in the States.

Hahahahahaha!

Besides, wala ng sarap kung plastic vagina na ang gamit mo. Hahahahahahaha!

Baka mabulok pa ang keps mo. Hakhakhakhakhak!

How gross! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Bela P.’s detractors tameme na

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Finally, Bela Padilla’s detractors have now finally mellowed.

Ang ilan kasi sa kanila ay mga pralalings ng gurangis na si Marianita Biglang Tsaka (Marianita Biglang Tsaka raw. o! Hahahahahahaha! Que barbaridad!) kaya nabusalan na sa makatotohanang panulat namin.

Sino ba naman kasi ang Pinay actor or actress na na-feature sa international press and was either interviewed or featured at the same time by the highly revered CNN, Time Magazine, Reuters, New York Times, Global Post, Gulf News, The National Associated Press, One Newspaper (Africa), India Times, Bollywood Total, Missosoly, Asian Forum, Turkey News among many others?

Pa’no kasi, inspired sila to interview Bela P. primarily because she is cultured and educated and very much capable of conversing wholly in English.

Eh, si Marianita L., carry ba niya?

Baka mapa-etsas siya nang wala sa oras. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Poor gurangga. She is inordinately insecure with Bela basically because she is more smart and younger and definitely taller. Hahahahahahaha!

Looking back, and this was the time when Bela was still doing that soap with Marianita Biglang Tsaka (Biglang Tsaka raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!), talagang buong ningning na nilait siya nito at tinawag na pangit. Hahahahaha! Di raw niya ito ka-level dahil siya nga naman ang reyna ng GMA7. Hahahahahaha!

Ang kaso, hanggang Pinas lang siya dahil bansot at di maa-appreciate sa international scene ang kanyang pagka-Tagalista. Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheeeaaaapppp!

Si Bela P., bilingual. Carry niyang makipag-usap kahit kanino dahil edukada siyang tao at di tulad ni Marianita Biglang Tsaka na maganda nga sana pero walang laman ang kukote. Hahahahahahaha!
Yosi-kadiri! Hahahahahahahaha!

Bongga nga pala ang arrive ng Hiram na Puso nina Bela at Kris Bernal. Bonggaderic ang response ng mga televiewer sa Afternoon Prime ng GMA right after Eat Bulaga.

***

Twitter account wala ng appeal kay Ate Vi

GOVERNOR Vilma Santos Recto is saddened with the fact that Megastar Sharon Cuneta and Ms. Helen Gamboa are now estranged from each other when they used to be that close and intimate.

“Nalulungkot ako kasi politics ang dahilan,” the Queenstar elucidates. “I don’t think na dapat maapektuhan ang isang pamilya when it should be beyond politics.

“Sana naman,” she adds in earnest, “huwag nang paglaruan ang mga sensitibong bagay na tulad nito.

“Ayokong nasisira ang pamilya dahil lang sa pulitika,” Ate Vi asseverates.

Right now, she purportedly has had a change of heart. Dapat daw ay desidido na siyang mag-aral kung papano magkaroon ng Twitter account.

“Ayoko ng magkaroon ng Twitter account,” the famed actress/politician intones. “Baka ako pa ang mapaglaruan at makaengkwentro ng mga ganyang isyu. Tinuturuan na sana ako ni Janice sa set ng The Healing but I decided not to have one (Twitter account) anymore.”

Kay Ate Vi pa rin, kahit saan siya magpunta ay parte na talaga ang walang katapusang series of picture taking sessions.

Tao lang siya kaya nakapapagod din minsan but she always make it a point to oblige since she knows how these people have travelled this far just to take some photos with her.

Kahit nga sa CBMS affair kung saan nabigyan ng recognition ang Batangas side by side with six other provinces the other day sa MOA ay nagkagulo rin ang mga tao sa kapapakuha ng picture with the famed actress politician but it was not for her to complain.

Through the years, tanggap na niyang this is part or parcel of her celebrity status.

Kahit nga raw sa Kapitolyo ng Batangas ay walang tigil pa rin ang kuhunan ng litrato pero nasanay na siya at tanggap na niyang as long as she’s Vilma Santos, things like this would have to be an integral part of her existence.

***

Medium sized notes ng bisesxual na aktor big hit sa US of A!

SAY mo! Sensation daw ngayon sa Merika ang not-so-huge but delicately formed notes (delicately formed notes raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!) ng Pinoy male starlet na naging minor sensation for quite sometime by way of his marriage with another guy from the land of Uncle Sam.

Dahil may arrive naman at well-toned ang body na slim at well-maintained, marami talaga ang sa kanya’y nagtitilam-tilam but the Pinoy starlet just purportedly wouldn’t bite.

Alam naman kasi niya ang mangyayari sa kanya the very moment he becomes open to sexual propositions such as these. Hahahahahahaha!

Pati sukat ng kanyang medium notes (medium notes raw, o! Hakhakhak!) ay mapababalita at pagpipiyestahan. Hahahahahaha!

Anyhow, happy naman daw ang male starlet dahil okay naman ang buhay niya sa Los Angeles at may trabaho naman siyang fairly stable na maituturing.

Pero siyempre, ayaw maniwalang stick to one na siya ng mga claving na naka-churvahan niya rito nu’ng time na nasa Pinas pa siya. Hahahahahahahaha!

Magaling daw kasi sa sex ang bisexual na ‘to lalo na’t nakainom ng beer. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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