Bulag sa katotohanan!

MAGANDA pala ang sosyal na chicks na mamaru ng isang bisexual sexy actor.

She is svelte and comely and intelligent too. Kung nagkataong berdaderong ombre lang ang papa niya, bingo nang  talaga dahil bagay na bagay sila with his impressive height and charismatic features that’s indeed veritable papa material.

But sad to say, most gays who aware of the brown-skinned hunk’s real personality are feeling nothing but enormous pity for the heiress of her father’s millions. Hahahahahaha!

Alam naman kasi nilang wala namang genuine feelings ang hunk-like ombre and he’s after the millions (or is it billions?) that she’s going to inherit from her dad someday. Hahahahahahaha!

Kalukring di ba naman?

At any rate, the sophisticated woman seems not to be aware of the kind of man that she’s going to eventually marry someday.

Pa’no naman, in her presence he veritably acts like a man and he’s definitely convincing when he wants to.

Hahahahahahaha!

On top of that, the highly educated lady is purportedly blissfully happy every time he’s being cunnilingused by the AC/DC lover of hers. All the more so when she’s being penetrated upon by his succulent dick that’s impressive both in length and circumference. Hahahahahahahahahah!

Well, at least he’s capable of getting it up when the occasion requires him to. Hahahahahahaha!

If only for that unique ability of his, their union is purportedly going to last long.

Kung ‘yung matinee idol of the 50s nga na contemporary ni Ms. Gloria Romero na baklang-bakla na lately (as in super active na raw sa halahan ever! Hahahahahahahaha!) ay napapapelan pa rin ang kanyang misis, why not someone like him who’s verile and macho specially so when slightly tipsy or under the influence of liquor?

‘Yun na!

Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Gwen Garci at Jennifer Lee sa tulo-laway na super club tour

ANG tulo-laway na alindog nina Gwen Garci at Jennifer Lee ang special attraction sa super club tour cum launching ng bagong girl group ang ‘DREAM BABES’ sa pagma-manage ni Jay-Ar Rosales, singer/actor, at ng isa sa mga pinakasikat na DJs ng bansa na si DJ-JD, opisyal na back-up DJ ni Apl. de Ap ng The Black Eyed Peas sa tuwing may show ang huli sa bansa at opisyal DJ ng Denon Philippines at Marlboro.

Pinamagatang ‘Wild & Sexy, One Hot Night & Daring Party Club Tour 2012,’ magsisimula ang tour sa CANDY SHOP SUPER CLUB, sa Quezon Ave. Quezon City sa March 21 at susunod naman sa DOLCE SUPER CLUB sa March 31 na located sa Tomas Morato Extention, parehong sa Quezon City. Iikutin ng cast ang buong Pilipinas kasama ang class A models at si Jhane Santiaguel, former member ng Mocha Girls at ang mind-blowing at orgasmic repertoire ni DJ-JD.

Ang Universal Records ang magre-release ng album sa pamamahala ng O-N International Production Phil. Corp. at sa president na si Jay-Ar Rosales at ang mga partners nito na sina Henry Hernan, Nathaniel Patricio, Ramon Leonor at sa pakikipagtulungan ng Noah Wellness, New opportunity aiming higher sa pamumuno nina Mr. & Mrs. Ma. Venus Loyola  at marketing director nito na si Mr. Rhonz Cervantes.

***

Hannah Panahon is Toni Gonzaga

NAPAKAGANDA ng episode this coming Saturday ng Wansapanataym kung saan featured ang Multimedia Star na si Toni Gonzaga sa episode na Hannah Panahon. She’s really out to keep you entertained and glued to your seats as she delineates the role of a weather girl who’s capable of upstaging Pag-asa’s weather forecast with her uncanny ability to forecast the weather.

Ang kaso, lumaki ang ulo ni Hannah dahil sa kanyang kakaibang galing kaya pinarusahan siya ng panahong dati-rati’y kanyang kakampi.

Do watch Toni as she gives a performance that’s exciting and intriguing at the same time as Hannah in Hannah Panahon. Sa ilalim ito ng panulat ni Noreen Capili at sa direksyon ni Don Cuaresma.

Napanonood din nga pala si Toni every Sunday sa top-rating at pinaka-exciting na showbiz-oriented talk show ng ABS-CBN na The Buzz with Charlene Gonzales and the King of TV talk Kuya Boy Abunda.

***

Naiyak si Kris nang sabihing nami-miss pa rin siya ni James Yap

NAKAGUGULAT ang reaksyon ng Queen of all Media na si Kris Aquino sa latest episode ng Kris TV nang maging guest niya sina Marc Pingris at ang wife nitong si Danica Sotto.

Nang sabihin kasi nitong sinabi raw sa kanya ni James Yap, in earnest, na nami-miss pa rin nito si Krizzy baby, biglang naging teary-eyed ang ermats ni Baby James.

Inasmuch as she’s trying to show to everyone that all is over between her and James, it’s palpably obvious that she still gets affected when she gets to hear stories like this.

Hindi nga naman ganoon kadaling alisin sa isipan ang panahong nagsama sila as husband and wife ni James. Kahit ano pa ang sabihin, it’s an unassailable fact na naging mag-asawa sila at kahit sabihin mo pang it was tumultuous and not an ideal one, the fact still remains na nagsama sila sa isang bubong nang matagal na panahon.

Kunsabagay, kaysa naman pumatol siya sa iba, why not James (again)? For one, that decision would naturally make Bimby happy beyond words.

***

Richard Joseph Guantero appealing & sweet

IDEAL mate itong Ginoong Pilipinas 2009 na si Richard Joseph Guantero.

He’s not only hunky and appealing in a very manly way but well-endowed as well (Hahahahahahahaha! obvious ba sa kanyang impressive bulge?).

Anyway, a lot of gays are dying to meet him but he seems to have other priorities in life.

Sa dinami-rami ng mga hunk na sumali sa Ginoong Pilipinas, siya na yata ang pinaka-may-K! Hakhakhak!

***

Wala pa ring tatalo sa natural beauty

MAGANDA kung sa maganda ang young sexy actress na ‘to. On top of that, she’s also a consummate performer who’s capable of upstaging anyone if she (the actress she’s having a scene with) is not going to be on her toes perpetually.

Ang problema lang, tamad siyang mag-exercise and most dependent on her doctor’s beauty treatments to keep her  her figure svelte and trim.

At dahil dito, sandamakmak ang unsightly-looking cellulites sa kanyang, in fairness, ay shapely gams.

Hahahahahaha!

Kahit na ano pa ang sabihin, nothing matches a body that has been honed through the years with exercise and self-discipline.

Sana ay matuto ng disiplina ang young sexy actress na ‘to para maging maayos ang kanyang pangangatawan at di ‘yung dumidepende lang siya pala-palagi sa mga gamot para mapanatili ang kanyang svelte figure.

Sa totoo, in her young age, her legs have become sort of wobbly and not as firm as it ought to be.

Huwag sana niyang gayahin ang kanyang nakatatandang kapatid na parang lomobo-pumayat ang katawan ang drama hanggang maging matrona, para lang magkumahog muling magpapayat.

Hahahahahaha!

Gayahin niya ang Queenstar for all seasons na si Governor Vilma Santos Recto na slim the natural way and is still a ravishing beauty at an age when most women are afraid to go out when not made-up to perfection.

Many years ago, she was the talk of Tinsel Town when she was able to meet starlet Eva Linda who was her co-star in the movie Darna & the Giants after many years of estrangement from one another.

Mas bata ito sa kanya but Ate Vi was a lot younger-looking and fresher to boot.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Bigla tuloy naming naalala ang dialogue ni Ate Vi sa isang okasyong dinalaw siya ng working press sa Batangas.

When asked if she had already availed of enhancements, she proudly said that everything about her was still natural.

“Wala pang turok ‘yan, huh?” she averred.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Oo nga naman.

Sa totoo, nakabibilib ang kanyang pag-aalaga sa kanyang sarili. Kung ang mga contemporaries niya’y mga matrona na at puro pileges ang mukha, she’s still young and fresh for someone who’s been around for quite sometime already.

Ibahin mo ang queenstar for all seasons!

Di ba naman, Ate Aida Fandialan?

‘Yun na! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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