Ferminata parang anay na sumisira sa magandang pundasyon ng TV5!

DELUVIC! That would more than aptly describes the state of things at TV5.

Dati-rati, punung-puno ng pangako ang nasabing network and was being labelled to be the network most likely to succeed. May mga programa itong pinapasok talaga ng ad placements kahit na hindi diretsahang ibinibenta sa mga advetizer.

Sa umaga, hataw ang Juicy sa rami ng commercials na mga malalaking produktong talaga and it even came to a point when it had 12 ad placements no less.

On top of that, naririyan ang talentadong Pinoy na grabe rin ang audience impact, ang show ni Oyo Boy Sotto na Mr. DJ ba ‘yun? at marami pang iba.

Anyway, whatever it was, hataw rin sa rami ng ads ang nasabing programa at halos hindi ka na makahihinga sa rami ng commercials.

Under the astute management of the Singaporean national, TV5 seemed to be the new network that bears watching.

Kahit nga ang mga Koreanovela nito ay pinapasok na talaga ng ads and it looked as if the network was palpably on the right track.

But somewhere along the way, pumasok ang inggit at insecurity kaya ang bonggacious na arrive ng Juicy (that was then being co-hosted by the promising triumvirate of Rey Pumaloy, Morly Alinio and your entertainment columnist, Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.) ay unti-unting lumaylay until it came to a point when it had lost its formidable clout to the televiewers.

Bakit? Simple lang. Dahil sa pagmamaniobra ng isang impaktang babae ay unti-unting nabawasan ang exposures namin (ikaw ba naman ang busalan para di makapagsalita sa opening ng programa, alisin ang mga portion na may dating sa televiewers kung saan humahataw talaga ang banggaan namin nina Rey at Morly, at gawing dekorasyon na lang sa kabuuhan ng programa… Hahahahahahaha! Insecurity indeed kills the cat!), until it came to a point when the ratings became practically non-existent.

Mga aning-aning ba naman kasi. Binababad ang kung sinex-sinex na wala namang charisma at pang-akit sa mga tao at inalis ang bonggacious na roleta ng intriga na orig sa programa.

Sino ba naman kasi ang magkakainteres sa mga long and tideous interviews na wala namang sense at puro press release chuvanes ang itinatanong ever?

Hahahahahahaha!

Just to prove Bubonika kuflangga that the old formula still worked, hinayaan na kaming makaeksenang muli during the last few days namin sa programa.

Much to our relief, the ads slowly came back and as far as I could remember, we had three or four legit commercials before the delusory ngangaerang Ferminata took over. Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, dahil na-insecure ang ngetpalites at wala ng charismang lola lukresya, hitsurang nagluluksa pa raw siya dahil pumanaw nga naman si Nanay ay binale-wala ng hangap sa andang matanda. Hahahahahahahaha!

At dahil sa feeling reyna K-less naman, (K-less raw, o! Hahahahahahaha! how so apt!) pinatanggal niya ang mga segments na identified sa amin (like ‘yung orig na concept kung saan may gwaping na towel boy na pumupunas sa mga pawis ni Morly habang nakikipagtaltalan sa amin ni Rey… Hahahahahaha!) at parang siya na lang ang natira.

Siya na lang daw ang natira, o! Hakhakhak!

Sino ba naman kasi ang magkaka-interes panoorin ang isang ngangaerang matanda na nagsasalita pa ng mga masalamisim na mga pananalita (masalamisim daw, o! Hakhakhak! ayokoooooooh!) habang umaalog-alog ang kanyang tripleng baba (tripleng baba raw, o! Hakhakhak!).

Bigla tuloy naming naalala nu’ng time na pinagsusuot siya ng medyo seksing outfit sa Sunday show niyang Showbiz Lingo at nahambal talaga si Fermi dahil hindi niya carry ang mga ganong kalse ng outfits. Hahahahaha!

And to think na hindi pa ganyan kalaki ang kanyang tiyanetch, huh? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Sa ngayon, lulugo-lugo na (hello, Virgie Ramos Lugo, still remember Lola Fermi? Hakhakhak!) si Lola dahil ramdam niyang titigbakin na ang Juice-less.

Sa milyones na nalugi ba naman sa Kapatid network, carry pa ba nilang dagdagan pa ang kanilang losses churva? Hakhakhak!

Que pobrecita!

Anyhow, tatlong taon yata ang kontrata ng ngangaerang gurangga sa TV5 kaya wait na lang tayo kung ire-renew pa ziya. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Uso pa ba kasi ang mga ganyang fezlak? Hakhakhak!

Dalhin n’yo na lang siya sa Luneta. Tuklasin ninyo ang lugar roon na nababagay sa kanya. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Lalong gumanda ang mga eksena sa Mundo Man Ay Magunaw

DAHIL nasa bahay lang kami kahapon, napanood namin, naturalmente, ang paborito naming afternoon soap after Showtime na Mundo Man Ay Magunaw.

Effect ang mga pagbabago sa working script ng hot na hot ng soap opera na galing sa panulat ng friendship namin from DZDR Bombo Radyo na si Salvador Royales.

Kung dati’y hate na hate ng character ni Nikki Gil ang role ni Empress, this time ay amiga intima na sila at super beso at in good terms nang talaga, they even had some sweet moments together kung saan all-out talaga ang support ni Empress sa character ni Nikki.

Bonggacious rin ang emote ni Eula Valdez (Olivia) whose hair has grown a little bit longer and her body a lot slimmer.

Kaya lang, ano kaya ang mangyayari the very moment she gets to meet the character of Emilio Garcia who was her old flame when she was a lot younger?

Pa’no naman ang papel ni Allan Paule na very much in love pa naman sa kanya?

Ang much-awaited talaga ay ang confrontation scene between Eula’s character and the one essayed by Tessie Tomas.

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata every 2:30 in the afternoon right after It’s Showtime at ABS CBN.

***

Mas feel na lang mag-fall sa iba ang ina at never sa piranha! Hahahaha!

VERY much at peace with the world na pala ang pamilya ng isang kontrobersyal na personalidad.

Nasa Europe raw ito attending to one of their skin clinics kaya ang anak niya ang umapir on her behalf in connection with an occasion at their clinic in Manila.

Suffice to say, the aging but still fairly attractive woman is supposedly in Europe nursing her broken heart.

Hahahahahahaha!

When you are rich and well-connected, you can get away with everything.

Anyhow, what we find greatly amusing is the fact that her (the empress dowager queen) grown-up kids would rather see her in the company of equally younger and desirable-looking men but not with her old flame who is supposedly comparable to a leech. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Tipong, “Anyone but not him, mom!” ang talkies ng kanyang mga anakis.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Comparable to piranha (over naman! Hakhakhak!) raw kasi ang ombre kaya hate na hate ng mga anak ng super andang seksing matrona. Hahahahahahaha!

Imagine nga naman, willing daw ang pabolosang mudra nila na i-gibsona ang dalawang outlets nila sa paparu niyang ito in the event that they finally would get married.

Fabulous, di ba naman?

But that is what true love is all about. You’re more than willing to give heaven and earth to the one you love if that would make him/her happy.

Speaking of the controversial male personality whose dick is purportedly made all the more succulent and worth fellating (worth fellating daw, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!) by way of collagen augmentations, he is allegedly despondent these days for he could not reconcile with the fact that the woman who used to be passionately in love with him has now become indifferent.

‘Yun na!

***

‘Di dapat isisi kay Sam Pinto ang ‘di kagandahang outcome ng movie nila ni Cesar M!

HER detractors are having a field day nailing her supposedly for the not-so favorable outcome of her movie Hit -man with Cesar Montano.

All the while, the people behind it were having some tremendous expectations.

Akala nila’y magiging monster hit ito just like Governor ER Ejercito’s Manila Kingpin: The Asiong Salonga Story but it did not measure up to their lofty expectation and people are heaping the blame on its leading-lady Sam Pinto.

Unfair! Tingnan n’yo muna ang tremendous effort na ginawa ni Governor ER who went all out in promoting his festival movie to the point of exhausting every possible means just to ensure meeting his desired effects.

Halos every now and then he was amenable to interviews and had tendered several presscons.

Bongga rin ang PR niya and was practically reaching to every reporter in town without an ioata of discrimination.

Kung naging kalahati man lang ng effort ni Gov. ER ang efforts na in-exert ni Cesar, I suppose it would yield positive results since the movie’s well-directed and acted as well.

Ang kailangan lang ay nag-effort silang i-promote ito sa masa just like the way Gov. ER did.

Ang kaso, broadseheet-oriented yata sila kaya hayan ang napala nila.

‘Yun lang!

***

Maging happy na lang tayo para kay Ate Vi

DAHIL nalalapit na naman ang election, sandamakmak na naman ang mga isyung inilalabas ng mga detractors ng reigning governor of Batangas Vilma Santos Recto.

Huwag naman. Why can’t we be happy with the kind of success that she’s been reaping lately and simply rejoice with her?

So far, in the many years that she’s been in the highly intriguing world of politics, Ate Vi has always made it a point to lead a low profile as a public servant.

She has been most open about her life as the first lady governor of Batangas for she knows that she’s not hiding anything eyebrow-raising and has been doing her job the best way she can.

Siguro naman, we just have to be happy that the constituents of Batangas have found a worthy governor in her and should stop fomenting senseless intrigues and other irrelevant things.

That much I can say for Ate Vi is, by far, one of the few personalities that I’ve given the privilege of hobnobbing with who is sincere in the performance of her duties as a public servant and as an actress as well.

***

No Bikini Open contests for Ronnie Toribio & Arnie Silva

BIKINI Open both for men and woman are the in thing this year and the year prior to that.

But it’s not temporarily going to be the world of best chums Ronnie Toribio (succulent and delectable… Hahahahaha!) and Arnie Silva (the kind of man gays are dying to fellate… Hakhakhak!) after winning some much-coveted titles at the Mr. Philippine Republic, the grand finals of which will be held sometime in May 2012.

Until then, pahinga muna sila sa pagrampa sa mga big and small venues ng mga ganitong talent search.

Nevertheless, tongue-tied talaga ang mga vaklushi kapag stroll galore silang dalawa sa mga beach not only because of their appealing machismos but particularly so because of the bulge that they have naturally in between their thighs. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Bawal magtikol, men! Hahahahahahaha!

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