Hitsura ng walang tulugan: Madaling araw na kung umere ang ‘Juicy’ ni Ferminata!

PALIBHASA’Y hindi masyadong busy lately ang amiga naming si Peter Ledesma, namo-monitor niya ang walang katorya-toryang showbiz-oriented program ni Ferminata, da ngangaerang lola.

Imagine, the last time he attempted to monitor its airing, the show purportedly went on the air at exactly 1:45 in the morning. Hahahahahahahaha!

You could just imagine who would still be awake to watch the show considering the fact that it was almost 2:00 in the morning and majority of the televiewers were already dozing off. Hakhakhak!

Buti na lang sana kung interesante ang show tulad ng old Juicy na tinututukan talaga hitsurang past twelve na kung umere ang replays. Hahahahahaha!

To be honest, mas mataas pa ang viewership namin sa replays nito (a cool 6%…Hahahahahahaha!) compared sa actual airing nito na 5% ang nakukuha.

Is Mr. Perci Intalan aware of these figures? Hahahahahahaha!

What a waste of money on the part of TV5 when there is no ROI (return of investment) at all.

Imagine, Ferminata has been anchoring the show for almost three years now and yet the ratings have been abys- mal and uninspired. Hahahahahahaha!

According to some sources, it has not even reached 1%. Hahahahahahaha!

What a big shame considering the millions of pesos invested by the network. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, to save face, nakiusap naman daw si Fermi na lagyan naman sila ng one spot ng PLDT ad.


How inordinately cheap!

Kung kaming mga starlet daw before ay nagkaroon ng all-time high na 12 ad placements, si Fermi na reyna raw ng intrega..ay mali! Intriga pala, (Harharhar!) ay swerte ng makaisa.

How gross! Hahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, di naman kami baduy and we had this thing called aliw factor. One thing that Lola Fermi is very much wanting of because televiewers, men in particular, find her exceedingly repulsive.

Yucky! Hakhakhak!

Anyhow, may bagong addition sa karmatic show ni Lola Fermi (di na kasi nagri-report si Gladys dahol busy na fantaserye niya sa Dos…Hahahahahaha!) in the presscon of Divine Lee, ‘yung gandarang syota ni Victor Basa at anak ng contractor na si Delfin Lee.

Honestly, kabog na kabog nito ang mediocre hosting skills ni Lola Fermi.

She’s not only a beauty but articulate and bubbly as well and has got a natural sense of humor.

Ang sabi, balak naman daw gawing ‘amiga’ (palabigasan vagah! Hahahahaha!) ito ni Lola Fermi. Ang kaso, ang presence pa yata nito ang lalong mage-emphasize sa kanyang kakulangan bilang isang host. Hakhakhak!

Ang karma talaga, no matter what you do, it has its own way of staring at you straight in the face.



Sadsad na ratings ng ‘My Gilagid’ dahilan para bigyan ng bagong dramedy si Marianita osla na!

QUE pobrecita usted. Hahahahahahahaha!

Dahil sa super sadsad na ratings ng My Gilagid (My Gilagid daw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!), bibigyan na lang daw ng bagong dramedy si Marianita L. ng GMA.

Labs kasi nila ang nagkakaedad na nilang talent kaya gibsona na naman sila ng bagong project rito para makabawi naman sa pagsadsad ng soap nitong mukhang wala na talagang patutunguhan kundi pagkatigok! Pagkatigok daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

Ang di nila alam, kaya walang kabuhay-buhay ang rating ng show ni Marianita L. ay dahil sa super negang imazh nito lately.

Dahil sa masyadong lumaki ang ulo, lahat na lang ay tinatarayan ng babaeng nakakalbo na (nakakalbo na raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!).

Honestly, if this woman’s head did not swell considerably, she would have maintained her good ratings and her popularity as well.

Ang kaso, naging super maldita at nega kaya unti-unting kumalat ang mga negang kwento tungkol sa sama ng kanyang bornok na pag-uugali. Hahahahahahaha!

Another thing, her fans can send in deplorably cheap messages at our cellphones for all I care!


As if naman apektado ako.

You dolts can call me names and I won’t even react. Hahahahahahaha!

It only boomerangs on the kind of cheap upbringing that your aging idol has had.

Gets? Hahahahahahahaha!

Kayo ang apektado dahil wala na yata kayong peace of mind dahil almost every waking moment of your existence is being spent on sending in callous messages at our cellphones. Hahahahahaha!


May impostor si Ate Vi

HER contemporaries are now practically sidelined from working in the business but Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos is still very much around (or trending as her loving fans would jokingly put it…Hahahaha!) and doing worthwhile projects while attending to the pressing demands of her chore as Batangas’ governor.

What is her secret?

She has a long memory (elephantine as some people call it) and makes it a point to look back at her humble beginnings thereby making her feet firmly rooted on the ground.

Ito na lang pag-squeeze in niya sa kanyang ultra-busy working sched para ma-accommodate ang meeting nila ng beteranang writer/talent manager na si Baby K. Jimenez ay pagpapatunay lamang how she has remained good-natured and within the reach of everyone.

Kahit ang mga baguhang artista ay ina-idolize siya dahil sa ganda ng kanyang PR na wala talagang katulad.

As an actress, she knows how to deal with her co-stars with humility and levelheadedness, the very reason why she’s being looked up by the new breed of actors and actresses.

To top it all, her beauty has never faded with time.

She might not be half as young as before biologically speaking, but she has remained pleasingly svelte and trim and fit and unfadingly lovely.

‘Yun na!

Still on the good-natured actress/politician, she’d like to inform her friends and the public as well that she doesn’t have any twitter or facebook account.

Her close friends lately have been receiving messages lately that are purportedly coming from the Batangas governor.

It was a good thing that they double checked and found out that these were nothing but a hoax.

Ang gumagawa nito ay impostor ni Ate Vi lalo na’t napaka-busy niyang tao para mag-maintain ng isang Twitter or Facebook account.

So there!


SPECIAL screening of indie movie KUBLI on March 24, Saturday, 7:00 PM at Event Cinema of Pacific Mall, Lucena City.

Appealingly balbonic macho Johnron Tanada who hails from Gumaca, Quezon and Dustin Jose will personally give away sexy pictures to their fans.

Ticket is P200 but the movie is reportedly more than that.

More than that daw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Dustin Jose, if you recall, had a frontal nudity in HEAVENLY TOUCH. Johnron Tanada was one of the Men of Provoq who starred in KAPE BARAKO).


Anne kakanta sa GSM Blue Flair Idol Finals

WHO says that Anne Curtis is traumatized with the negative feedbacks that her kind of singing has been getting lately, she has decided to quit singing altogether?

Well, her detractors are gravely mistaken. Mapanonood siya ng ‘live’ sa GSM Blueniversity Flair Idol, ang pinakamalaking flairtending and mixology competition para sa mga estudyante ng Hotel and Restaurant Management (HRM) sa darating na Marso 30 sa Metrowalk sa Pasig City.

Anne will be singing with the hottest bands of today like Itchyworms, Callalily and Rocksteddy.

As we all know, Jugs Jugueta (Itchyworms), Teddy Corpuz (Rocksteddy) and Kean Cipriano (Callalily) are all included at the teevee commercial ‘Lahing Ginebra, Ikaw Na’ that also features Ms. Curtis.

“Masaya akong makasama sa event na ito. Makatutulong kasi ito sa mga HRM students na gustong gumaling sa flairtending at mixology. Maganda ang programang ito ng GSM Bllue dahil makatutulong sa kinabukasan ng mga sasali,” intones Anne who’ll be singing some of the choice cuts of her album ‘Annebisyosa.’

Anyhow, ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na dalawang babae ang kasama sa finals. Sila ay sina Tracy Marie Mabal and Marie Fatima Villarino, students of University of Cebu Main. Cash prize na P40,000 at mobile bar business awaits the grand champion. Ang first at second runners-up naman ay mag-uuwi ng P20,000 at P15,000, respectively.

Participating in the said event are Jor-el D. Avala (St. Joseph Technical Academy – Davao City), Luis Jardine Garcia (University of Mindanao), Alfe Balen (Lourdes College, Cagayan de Oro), Domique Palileo (University of Perpetual Help, Laguna), Arvin Philip Rallos (Our Lady of Fatima University, Valenzuela), Ryan Golo (Our Lady of Fatima University, Valenzuela), Leonard Busquit (Malasaga Institute of Technology), Joma Riveral (Lyceum of the Philippines – Manila), Christian Tuazon (De La Salle University-Dasmarinas, Cavite), Francis Angelo Nolas- co (Southwestern University – Cebu City), Andrew Aaron Gregorio (St. Paul University Dumaguete – Dumaguete City), Gino Carlo Simbillo (Wesleyan College – Cabanatuan City), Joe Mari Santos (Bulacan State University- Malolos, Bulacan) and Franz Jherick Santos (La Consolacion College- Malolos, Bulacan).


Kawawang girlalu

PEOPLE who are that familiar with the real personality of this appealing singer/actor feel nothing but pity for the young woman he’s presently having an intimate relationship with.

Imagine, she has travelled all the way from her native land just to be with this tall and hunky singer/actor when he feels nothing but sheer friendship.


Papable ngang naturingan lalo na’t buffed na ngayon ang kanyang katawan but his real personality will forever be that of a woman encarcerated in the body of a man. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sayang naman daw ang juicy tarugs ng papable pa namang ombre na ‘to na well-mannered namang talaga kaya kinai-insecure-ran ng isang lomodic na tagong vaklung. Hahahahahahaha!


Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.


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