Kayamanan ng ka-live-in nakamkam nang lahat ng magandang personalidad!

HATE na hate raw ng mga immediate family ng isang legendary actor ang ka-live-in nitong gandara pero nagkakaedad na ring aktres. Pa’no naman, super avaricious raw ito at wala nang ginawa kundi kamkamin ang naipundar na kayamanan ng kanyang paparu.

“Pati ba naman ang one-bedroom condo ng isa sa mga anak ng ka-live-in niya somewhere in the Malate area ay pinatsugi diumano nito dahil gagamitin daw for whatever purpose she has in kind. Dios mio perdon! napakaswapang niya. Wala na ba siyang kasiyahan?”

Ang di lang daw pinakikialaman ng dupangistic na matrona ay ang lupain sa Bulacan dahil hindi raw kagandahan ang location nito ever. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Could it be true? Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, kahit daw ang isang sikat na pulitiko ay inisnab ng matronang sagana sa retoke ang katawan nang dumalaw ito sa kanyang ka-live-in lately.

Ang taray, di ba naman? Hakhakhak!

Who does she think she is?

Ang karma, day! Mahadlok ka!

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, sang-ayon sa aming source, lahat ng ari-arian ng sikat na aktor ay nakalagay na sa namezung ng matronix na babae, including their fabulous (and the envy of so many) mansion by the bay.

Oh, di ba naman? Hahahahahahaha!

Kalurky!

In stark contrast, mas feel pa raw ng mga anakis ng legendary personality ang dating ka-live-in nitong bold actress for the simple reason that she was not avaricious and most giving and generous.

Going back to the scheming woman, ang di lang matalo nito ay ang favorite son ng aging actor at ang isa pang mahusay na komedyanteng anak nito.

Otherwise, deadmatic lang daw ito sa iba.

Oh, well, front lang ba ang pag-crayola ng matronang ito sa kanyang interviews specially so when her live-in mate is being talked about?

Well, siya naman ang magdadala nu’n.

Period. Walang comma!

***

Halos walang tulugan ang location ng ‘The Healing’

IBANG klase talaga ang shooting sched ng Star Cinema movie na “The Healing” kung saan lead actors sina Queenstar Vilma Santos at Kim Chiu.

Imagine. the other day, 6 a.m. ang calltime nila kaya walang tulugan na halos sina Ate Vi at ang ever-trusted personal secretary niyang si Ate Aida Fandialan.

They had to travel nga naman all the way from Alabang to Lipa City kaya konti lang naitulog ng lady governor of Batangas at go na sila sa Lipa.

But things like this is no longer new to Ate Vi who’s been acting practically all of her life.

In a way, hahangaan mo rin ang kanyang stamina dahil hindi naman na siya eighteen years old na minamani-mani lang ang mga puyatang tulad nito.

Diyan nga napakikinabangan ni Ate ang matinding disiplina niya sa kanyang sarili na ginawa niya since she was sixteen years of age when she had come to the decision that she would want to be svelte for life.

Come to think of it, it was not an easy thing to do but she had won her battle with slight obesity through the years.

In a way, Queenstar Vi’s success is largely attributed to her being a highly disciplined person.

Kita n’yo naman how svelte she looks at an age when most women are already matronly and are frontically availing of the services of supposedly competent doctors to help them out with their perennially recurring health problems.

***

Wah feel ng mga male masseurs

KUNG sa pagkagalante ay wala naman daw maipipintas sa slightly lomodic na singer na ‘to.

Kapag siya raw ang sini-service-san ng mga ito, okay naman sa tip at hindi naman demanding when it comes to extra service.

Kung katawan naman daw ang pag-uusapan, makinis naman bagama’t moreno talaga ang skin tone nito all over.

The problem lies with his aversion for taking a bath and would only depend on his imported perfume to give him that haunting pleasant smell.

Sa una lang daw.

Sa una lang daw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

Kapag pinawisan na raw kasi si ate (ate raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) lalo na’t in ‘action’ na siya, naghahalo na ang amoy ng kanyang katawan (na dehins goli…Hahahahahahaha!) at ang perfume na ini-spray niya generosuly all over his slightly obese body.

Mas okay na lang daw sana kung walang perfume as long as bagong ligo ito at presko ang amoy. Hahahahahaha!

Ang kaso, kapag dyakolya (dyakolya raw, o! Hakhakhak!) na raw ng mga service boys ang kanyang wasang sa pagka- goling regular na nota (regular na nota raw, o! Hakhakhakhak!), medyo malagkit ito (malagkit daw, o! Hakhak- hak!) at di kagandahan ang smell.

Di raw kagandahan ang smell, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Ayokooooooooh! Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Ginagamit ni Tandang Marianita si Bela Padilla (Cheap!)

SANG-AYON kay Peter L., sinabi raw sa kanya ni Ms. Claire dela Fuente, Bela Padilla’s good-natured talent manager, na bati na raw ang kanyang alaga at ang balahura at ugaling impaktang si Marianita Lukresya.

Sooooo what?

I don’t give a hoot!

If I know, binati lang si Bela ng impaktang glorified starlet para mabawasan ang pagka-nega niya lalo na’t tigbak sa ratings ang kanyang My Gilagid. My Gilagid daw, o!

In stark contrast, hataw ang rating ng Hiram na Puso kung saan kasama si Bela at pinagbibidahan ng gandarang si Kris Bernal at positive rin ang response sa kanilang My Kontrabida Girl under GMA Films na pinagbibidahan nina Rhian Ramos at Aljur Abrenica na showing na on the 14th of March. Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, na-realize siguro ni Tandang Marianita flopzina (Tandang Marianita flopzina raw, o! Hahahahahaha!) na woman of the hour si Bela kaya nakipagbati na siya rito. Hahahahahahahaha!

Batiin mo man si Bela kung di ka magbabago sa mala-impakta mong pag-uugali, wala rin, lola.

The change should come deep inside of you for it to become effective.

Gamitin mo man ang kung sinu-sino, wala ring mangyayari sa’yo.

Do you get it? You should be sincere in changing your diabolical ways for it to become widely accepted not only by people around you but by the multitude as well.

Also, no matter how your cheap and maleducated fans would text me with cavalier words, it’s not going to affect me in the least bit because they don’t belong to my lofty level. Hakhkahak!

Pag-aralin mo muna ang mga butangera mong fans para magkaroon kahit na katiting na finesse. Di ba ganyang para silang mga penis. Harharharharhar! Penis raw, o! Hakhakhak!

Kunsabagay, the fans are nothing but gory reflections of the personality of the one being idolized. Di ba naman?

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

John Mark Marcia katilam-tilam!

DIME a dozen na raw ang mga lalaking sumasali sa mga male pageant na ‘yan pero admittedly, naiiba at striking ang personality nitong si John Mark Marcia.

His brown complexion is infinitely riveting and his eyes, definitely enticing.

No wonder, grand winner siya ng Ginoong Pilipinas talent search 2010.

Sa ngayon, pila-balde ang kanyang indecent proposals but he’s taking his time.

Kahit daw hindi kayamanan basta’t iti-treat siya as a human being as okay sa kanya.

***

Regular pero pinagtitilam-tilaman ng mga bading!

HAHAHAHAHA! Being out of job has never been one of the concerns of this brown-skinned hunk from a network that’s being bought right now by a trillionaire businessman.

He might not be supremely well-endowed but fags from all walks of life are dying to fellate his not so big dick.

Hahahahahahaha!

His equipment is admittedly regular but but he’s got a body to die for, along with an appealing face that’s both enticing and mesmerizing. Hahahahahahaha!

On top of that, he doesn’t come cheap.

Hindi ba siya ‘yung tipong ingratiating para magka-booking lang. Hahahahahaha!

Suplado siya at namimili lang ng vaklung na kukuping (kukuping daw, o! Hahahahahaha!) sa kanya.

After all, he’s not cheap and money is not something he’s wanting of since the network he’s under conctract with has always been most supportive.

Would you know who he is? Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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