Nahalatang mangga (user) kaya hiniwalayang bigla!

MARAMI ang nagtaka kung bakit biglang splitzville ang dalawang lovers na ‘to na noo’y inseparable from each other at parang may tsika pang they were then seriously considering marriage.

Tapos ngayoin, hayan at kalat na kalat na ang tsikang off-line na nga sila, not because the young sexy actress is supposedly seriously falling for the somewhat ‘aging’ machismo of this guy that she’s presently co-starring with in a top-rating soap but because she’s been able to discover that she’s being taken advantage of by this young actor with that cheap callboy mentality.

If true, ang cheap nga naman.

Sariwa at makatas ang sexy actress tapos gagawin niyang asucarera de mama?

Hahahahahahahahaha!

How gross, di ba naman? Hahahahahaha!

Buti na lang daw kung true na que largo grande ang equipment ni papa.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Ang kaso, halos kalahati (kalahati lang daw, o! Hakhakhak!) lang daw ito ng notrisyus ng lead actor sa soap ni mama. Hahahahahahaha!

Kaya naman pala piping-pipi ang keps, I mean ang tarugs, ng young actor mereseng fitted ang kanyang pants ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

Baka nga true na natikman na ni mamaru ang tarugs ng mature ng aktor at na-realize niyang unfair na gawin siyang sugar mommy ng isang young ombre na regular lang ang kargada.

Regular raw ang kargada, o! Hakhakhak!

Ayokoooooooh! Hahahahaha!

Bakit nga naman magmamartir sa lalakeng oo nga’t bata at gwapo pero di naman kalakihan ang kargada, feeling callboy pa! Hahahahahahahaha!

Kayo, what do you think is the reason of their split-up?

Me, I agree with the young lady’s decision. Hahahaha!

Regular na nga, feeling callboy pa?

Puhleeezzeee! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Super touched si Baby K. Jimenez sa sweetness ni Ate Vi

EARLY November of last year palang ay waiting na si Ms. Baby K. Jimenez sa availability ni Governor Vilma Santos but it was only the latter part of March that she was able to squeeze her in from her veritably hectic working sched.

In a way, malaking bagay rin sigurong si Manay Ichu Maceda ang go between ni Ms. Jimenez kaya di siya napahindian ni Ate Vi kahit na patong-patong na talaga ang commitments nito lately.

Pero ang pinakadahilan siguro kung bakit hindi makatanggi si Ate Vi na i-meet si Ms. Jimenez ay dahil sa kanilang magandang pinagsamahan many years ago when the Queenstar was barely 14 or 15 years of age.

“You won’t believe me,” Governor Vi avers, “but when I was 14 or 15, kasama ko sila (sila includes Mercy ‘The Great’ Lejarde).”

O, di ba naman?

Queenstar Vi is a rarity. She is one person who knows how to value friendship and important people in her life as well.

No wonder, she has remained on a pedestal and has never been upstaged by younger actresses of this generation. Iba na ang orig na’y may konsensya pa at may pusong marunong magpahalaga sa pinagsamahan.

***

Kyle Decampong unforgettable!

MORE than a year na nang sumali siya sa annual search ng Maharlikang Pilipino but his name appears to be totally unforgettable. Pa’no naman kasi makalilimutan ang charismatic presence ni Kyle Decampong na tunay namang riveting at mesmerizing?

See for yourself to believe that he’s really a big hunk of a man na walang bahid unlike most of the male contestants that would join male talent search such as this.

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahaha!

***

Joey de Castrong Pocholo Avila (uncircumcized) ginagamit ang mga fans ni Marianita malait lang kami!

DAHIL marami kaming ginagawa, di namin masyadong napagtuunan nang pansin ang mga ka-cheap-ang pinaggagagawa nitong supotelyang (super gurang na, uncircumcized pa! Hahahahahaha!) guranggang si Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Castro, the grand dowager queen of halitosis. Hahahahahaha!

Imagine, this aging malodorous fag was able to make us believe that the ones sending in those atrociously wicked messages at our cellphones are the devoted and besotted followers of Marianita L.

It’s only now that I have the chance to read some of the cheap messages that would inundate my cell from day to day that I get to realize that these came from one person only – the deplorably cheap Vavalina Pa-orangga, mabahonga and duldulic pa. HahaHahaha!

Hay, naku Vavalinang supot, magpahinga ka na. Wala namang naniniwala sa ‘yo ano?

Another thing, before you die, why don’t you repent about your hideous sins?

Grabe kang matandang bakla ka. Imagine, for almost twenty years ay tumira ka sa amin gratis et amores talaga at ginawan ko pa ng paraang magka-career ka sa mga maliliit na PR jobs na hawak ko, I even went out of my way to cook for you for I took pity on your almost emaciated body but far from feeling indebted, you diabolically silently nourished the thought of wishing death to befall me so that you could usurp my radio hosting job at DWIZ, along with the columns that I maintained for different publications then.

Yosi-kadiri talaga ang gurang na ‘to na nuknukan ng pagka-ingrata.

Hahahahahahaha!

Kung hindi ka ba naman kampon ng demonyo, saan ka nakakita ng mga peklat na triangular ang shape? Hahahahaha!

Di ba’t sign ‘yun ni Taning?

Honestly, in the many years that I’ve existed on earth, I have yet to see someone with triangular scars that are colored purple.

Di kaya demonyo talaga ang halimaw na ‘to?

‘Yun na! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Patahi mo nga pala ang wetpaks mong sooo luwag na dahil sa too much anal sex, wala ka na tuloy effort tuwing umi-ebbs ka. Hahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na! Hahahahahahahaha!

How gross!

Anyhow, ingrates like you are bound to die in the most horrible manner that only befits your demonic soul.

Hay, naku! baka hindi ka na magising, lola. Hahahahahahaha!

Taning is waiting for you na. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Bela Padilla super happy sa success ng Hiram na Puso

TOP-RATING ang Hiram na Puso sa Afternoon Prime ng GMA. And for this, Bela Padilla’s truly happy.

Si Kris Bernal man ang pinaka-lead character rito with Mark Herras as her leading man, happy na rin si Bela dahil importante rin naman ang character niya bilang twin sister ni Lira (Kris B.) who’s secretly falling for Mark Herras’ character Prince.

Malaking factor rin siyempre ang presence ng matriarch ng family na si Ms. Gina Alajar (Zeny) na nagsisilbing wind beneath Lira’s wings so to speak.

Kay Bela pa rin, marami ang nakapupunang lalo siyang gumaganda as time goes by.

Magmula nang mag-grace siya sa cover ng FHM na naging kontrobersyal talaga, things have never been the same for Ms. Claire dela Fuente’s comely ward.

Kahit saan ay pinag-uusapan ang kanyang intelligent answers sa thought-provoking questions ng foreign press.

Palibhasa’y edukada kaya maayos niyang nai-express ang kanyang punto de vista sa lahat ng kumakapanayam sa kanya.

No offense meant sa iba riyan pero mahihirapan silang salagin ang mga banat ng pugnacious foreign correspondents the way Bela fabulously did.

Di ba naman, Marianingning? Hahahahahahaha!

You need to avail of a good speech instructor before you can face the foreign press with poise and elan’. Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Asset ni Paula Bianca ang kanyang ama

PAULA Bianca is just a novice in the field of entertainment but she’s got an ace, apart from her powerful vocal skills, in the person of her loving dad Papa Dhann of Papa Dhann’s videoke that’s strategically located along Macapagal Ave., Pasay City.

Typical of any doting dad, he loves his daughter so very much that he’s more than willing to do everything for her.

No wonder Paula grew up extremely close to her dad who’s been able to influence her growth as a singer, too!

At any rate, Papa Dhann’s daughter is gifted with a powerful voice that can do justice to rock songs not most of the young female singers of this generation can belt out with ease the way she can.

Listen to her version of the song Napapaluha and be convinced that a new singer of the pop-rock genre is very much in evidence.

Ang huling batch ng pop-rock artist ay nagtapos kay Mystica, the pop-rock diva who made a sizzling dent in the music world by way of her debut album way back during the year 2000.

In the 80s, there was Lou Bonnevie plus a host of other talented pop-rock artist.

But the year 2012 positively belongs to Paula Bianca of Vicor Music corporation.

Ang haharang, magiging kamukha nu Bubonika, da guranggang ngetpalites at tsaka. Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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