Parang naaaning-aning na ang mga cheapanggetch na Dongyans ni Marianita L.!

PALIBHASA’Y mga mal-edukada at baliw tulad ng kanilang walang edukasyong idol na nakakalbo na dahil sa too much rebonding, (Hahahahahahahaha! how gross! Hakhakhak!), ayaw matulog ang gabi ng mga aning-aning na fansitas ni Marianita L., na pilit nagbabata-bataan, guranggetch na naman. Hahahahahahaha!

How so very yucky!

Imagine, wasting their time talking about me and Bela Padilla. Hahahahahaha!

Palibhasa’y gurang na kaya sobrang tindi ng insecurity sa sariwa, makatas at super firm ang breasts at skin tone na si Bela, unlike her (Marianita L.) whose skin tone seems to start showing some visible signs of aging already.

Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, lait to-the-max ang mga Dogyans (they are fitted to be called dogs because they have the attitude and posture of an askal! Hahahahahahahaha! Cheap!) kay Bela dahil no match naman ang gurang nilang idolong si Marianita Halimawita. Hahahahahahaha!

Imagine, Bela’s body is firm and trim the natural way, unlike Marianita Lukresya who needs to go on a perpetual diet because she’s almost forty and her body and face are beginning to show some telltale signs of aging. Hahahahahahahaha!

I-compare ba ang mukha niyang sagana sa mga kung anu-anong beauty aids at injections para i-prevent ang onslaught ng aging process. Hahahahahahahaha!

But to be honest about it, nothing can beat the sweet bird of youth, which Bela has at the moment. Hahahahaha!

Kita n’yo naman ang beauty niya sa presscon ng Hiram Na Puso, didn’t she gain the admiration of the press by virtue of her glowing beauty?

One thing that Marianita is very much wanting of specially so now that old age seems to be creeping slowly, heralding the fact that she’s almost forty. Hahahahahahahaha!

Kahit ano’ng gawin mo, lola, you can’t shun away from the fact that you’re already in your late 30s. Hahahaha!

Kaya nga diet to death ka dahil mangagsisipaglabasan na naman ang mga cellulites mo. Hahahahahaha!

Ang gurang ay gurang ay gurang… bow! Hakhakhak!

Pa’no naman kasi iku-compare si Bela with her effervescent beauty sa synthetic na fezlak ng gurangis na si Marianita?
Hahahahahahahaha!

Look, lola, Bela was interviewed the other day by Reuters London Asia. One thing that will never happen to you for the simple reason that you’re not capable of communicating in English. Hahahahahahaha!

Bobita Bunblebee kasi kaya walang market sa international scene at pang-Talipapa lang. Hahahahahahaha!

Hay, naku, you better watch na lang Hiram Na Puso starting Monday (March 5) at may mapapala ka pa. Di ba tulad du’n sa fantaserye ng Tandang Marianita na pilit na pilit ang dating kaya sooo baba the rating. Hahahahaha!

How gross!

Anyway, kasama ni Bela ang stellar cast that’s being headlined by Kris Bernal, Mark Herras, Polo Ravales, Candy Pangilinan, Ana Marin, Wynwyn Marquez, Marc Acueza, Ayen Laurel, Gardo Versoza, at Ms. Gina Alajar.

The soap that will detonate on Monday is being directed by Mr. Andoy Ranay from the script of Zuzette Doctolero after Eat Bulaga.

***

Mystica’s Better Globe male and female actors and models search!

MUKHANG na-trauma na ang rock diva na si Mystica sa mga kapalpakang nangyari sa kanyang lovelife kaya as of the moment, mas focused siya sa kanyang negosyo.

Imagine, akala niya’y happy ending ang episode nila ng kanyang American boyfriend pero sa hiwalayan din nauwi ang lahat dahil aminado siyang mahirap talaga mag-work ang long distance love affair.

“But he’s still my friend, mama, dahil business partner ko pa rin siya sa mga negosyong naitayo ko,” she enlightens us.

Speaking of business, she’s got an open call for male and female models, 16 to 30 years old, no height limit, for their Mr. & Miss Better Globe 2012, Better Globe Super Models and Better Globe Role Models for Beauty Pageants, Fashion Shows and a Reality TV Show.

Cash, trophies and other consolation prizes await the lucky winners. They also need female singers as well as male and female actors for a Real Life Story Movie.

Audition will be on March 4, 2012, 2-6PM at Totale Image Asia Personality & Talent Development School, 3rd Flr., Castro Bldg., 58 Timog Ave., Quezon City.

Anyway, natawa naman si Tikay sa kwentong ang isa niyang paparu ay nasa the other side of the sexual meadow na. Hahahahahaha!
Kung dati-rati’y super macho kuno ito, these days he has become softer and is allegedly having an intimate relationships with another good-looking male.

“Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, mama,” so says Mystica.

“After all, he was good to me and was a most considerate lover,” she intones.

Anyway, going back to her business, for more info, contact the Project Director, Ms. Ninia Vanessa, at mystica rockdiva@yahoo.com or call/text her at 0926-7397506.

***

Abner mentors young journalists in Krusada

WITH two decades of journalistic experience, award-winning broadcast journalist Abner Mercado has advocated environmentalism in the reports and documentaries under his belt. This time, he shares his expertise with young aspiring reporters and teaches them how to cover environmental issues to prepare the future generation of journalists.

Today, Mar 1, in Krusada, we get to see how Abner teaches environmental reporting to journalism majors from the University of the Philippines-Diliman, his alma mater and where he serves as senior lecturer.

Abner’s dedication to his craft and the environment has pushed him to train young reporters in reporting on mining and animal protection, two of the most pressing environmental concerns they might cover in the future.

Witness how he challenged the college students to interview high officials from Ocean Adventure, Manila Zoo, Earth Island Institute, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA Asia) and also write an article on animal rights.

Catch Krusada, which is nominated in the Social Issues/Current Events category at the prestigious 2012 New York Festivals International Television & Film Awards, every Thursday after Bandila on ABS-CBN, or earlier on DZMM TeleRadyo (SkyCable Channel 26), 9:15 PM.

***

Kung si Nora na moro-moro actress rati ay bumongga ang acting, magagawa rin yun ni Sam Ferminata

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Idiota talaga itong si Lola Ferminata, da bungalyang cheapangga. Hahahahahaha!

Imagine, kung makalait siya sa acting ability ni sam Pinto ay para bang veteran actress na ito gayung compared to Superstar Nora Aunor’s brand of acting during her Tower Productions days ay di hamak namang mas bongga ang acting ni Sam Pinto sa ngayon.

Napanood mo ba ang Nasaan Ka, Inay? ni Guy before sa Sampaguita, lolang mukhang pera? Hahahahahaha!

Kung ang syonga-syongang umarteng batang artista noon ay naging isang multi-awarded actress at kinilala ang acting virtuousity sa mga classic movies tulad ng Minsa’y Isang Gamu-gamo, Himala, Anak ka ng Ina Mo, among other film classics, why can’t Sam improve, too, with the passing of time?

Honestly, it’s too early to judge her basing from the kind of acting that she exhibits in her movies of late.

Di naman moro-moro ang acting ni Sam sa ngayon if only you would maintain a degree of objectivity.

But you don’t have that in your system because you tend to put more weight on material things. Hahahahaha!

Mukhang pera ka at ‘yan ang totoo!

Honestly, hindi man pang-award ang acting ni Sam sa Hitman but she didn’t come out doltish or stupid.

Period!

Pagbutihin mo nga pala ang Juice-less n’yo dahil madaling araw na kayo ngayon pinapasok. Hahahahahahaha!

Baka bukas-makalawa, baka mapunta na kayo sa alas-dos ng madaling araw. Hakhakhak!

Kay dali mong dinapurak ng bad karma, lola.

I suppose marami pa ang darating. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Sama kasi ng pag-uugali mo, retribution has come this early to haunt you. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Instant celebrity pero nakalkal din ang kabaklaan

DATI-RATI, wala namang nakakikilala rito sa aerobic instructor na bagong dyowa kuno ng isang kontrobersyal na female personality.

Pero dahil sa hot copy nga ang aging matrona na may arrive pa rin in fairness, (may arrive pa raw, o! Hahahahahaha!), instant celebrity ang kanyang bagong ‘papa’ kuno.

Unfortunately, disappointed ang mga otaw, (the gay community in particular..Hahahahahaha!) dahil no match daw pala sa machismo at good looks ng ex ng negosyante ang bagong lover nito. Hahahahahaha!

Bukod sa kulang nga raw sa verility at sex appeal, napaghahalatang the guy’s also very much wanting of machismo.

Hahahahahahaha!

Oo nga naman. Why would a man feel an iota of insecurity about someone who’s not even half a looker as he is and on top of that, very much wanting of masculinity too? Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

It’s not all dick sometimes, looks, along with sex appeal and machismo, are of vital importante too!

Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Grace under pressure

MARAMING nangangarap na maging isang Vilma Santos. But being such entails some responsibilities too.

You must be highly disciplined, a good PR is a must, and on top of that, the public expect you to be perpetually beautiful most of the time. Hahahahahaha!

Kaya n’yo ‘yan? Hahahahahaha! Looking perpetually poised and beautiful regardless of the situation you’re in is not an easy thing to do.

But through the years, Ate has been able to master the art of looking flawlessly beautiful no matter how she feels. And for us, that entails discipline of the highest order. Hahahahahahaha!

Bigla tuloy naming naalala ang isang wake na pinuntahan ng Queenstar for all season a decades or two ago.

Dahil celebrity ang anak ng namatay, sandamakmak talaga ang tao at talagang grabe ang dami ng mga usyusero.

Shocked ang mga otaw dahil preskong-presko all throughout ang itzu ni Ate Vi and she looked unruffled in spite of the chaos around her.

O. di ba naman?

That’s called grace under pressure and only a handful can do that with conviction.

Ikaw na ang maging Governor Vilma Santos-Recto.

***

Ryan Jay Abadines young hunk that bears watching!

SA DAMI-RAMI ng male contestants for Fashionissimo 2011, isa si Ryan Jay Abadines sa umagaw talaga ng eksena ‘di lang dahil sa kanyang mind-boggling sexuality but more so because of his reticent personality.

A man of few words, 2nd runner-up siya sa orig na male pageant sa Pinas na Ginoong Pilipinas.

Hopefully, he dreams of becoming an actor and that dream is not a farfetched reality.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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