Pintasera, ngayon lang naman siya naging flawless kuno dahil sa siyensya!

HAHAHAHAHA! So nakatatawa naman ang drama sa buhay ng isang rica-ricang not-so-young actress nang makita raw nito ang katawan ng dati niyang kasama sa isang network na ngayo’y ka-join na naman niya sa eskalerang network.

Ginawang big deal daw ng tabaing aktres ang kamot daw sa katawan ng slim na ngayong aktres na di hamak na mas eskalera ang beauty compared sa kanya. Specially so when both of them are not made up to perfection.

Not made up to perfection daw, o! Hahahahahaha!

Behind the svelte actress back, pinagkakalat daw ng tabaing aktres na concealer dependent daw ang una.

Well, at least naman, kamot lang ang problema ng matangkad na aktes.

E, itong di katangkarang aktres ay sandamakmak ang retoke sa katawan. Hahahahahahahaha!

Her nose has been lifted and so are her by now sagging boobs. Hahahahahahaha!

Kung di nauso ang mga whitening creams sa kili-kili, ‘di siguro siya makapagsusuot ng mga sleeveless dresses. Hahahahahahaha!

Honestly, she should be enormously thankful that she’s ultra-moneyed now because of her opulent papas. Otherwise, she would have been using concealers too to hide her imperfections. Hahahahahahaha!

Pasalamat din siya sa mga glutathione chuvanes na ‘yan at flawless na ang kanyang legs na noo’y maraming polka dots ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sa totoo lang! Hahahahahahaha!

Ingatan din niya ang paglafang nang sobra-sobra dahil tabain siyang likas, she has the natural tendency to look matronly.

Maging aware rin siya sa kanyang acting dahil ilalampaso siyang tiyak ng bagong lipat na aktres in terms of sensitivity and poignancy.

***

Adam Phebus magnetic & interesting

ADAM Phebus came to the Philippines a year ago and was captivated with the beauty of our country.

Since then,he’s been much sought-after in the covers of Australian gay-oriented magazines.

***

Ginapang ni Marianita L. ang career namin sa mga presscon?

NAGMAMAGANDA talaga itong si Marianita Lukresya, ‘da impaktang matrona, dahil pati kakapiranggot na career namin sa GMA7 ay hinarangan pa. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ang mga taong tulad nito ay dapat lang talagang binabanatan to-the-max hanggang tuluyan nang matulad sa kamukha niyang ilu rin before na si Rosanggita. Hahahahahahaha!

At any rate, okay lang naman dahil quits na kami. Tigbak naman na ang “My Gilagid” (My Gilagid daw, o! Hahaha- ha!) niya at the new show GMA has in mind for her is going to be infinitely tragic. Hahahahahahahaha!

I’m positive that her new dramedy is going to suffer the same fate. Hahahahahahahaha!

Hangga’t hindi ka nagbabago sa kababuyan mo, I’m not going to stop exposing your filth for the public to know the kind of repugnant persona that lurks behind your seemingly innocent face.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, magpaiba-iba ka man ng leading man, the stigma that’s associated with your diabolical character will remain indelibly associated with your infinitely wicked persona. Hahahahahahahaha!

Cheap!

Join ka na lang kayo sa show ng repulsive na si Ferminata, da matronang attack and collect ng anda (attack and collect ng anda raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!) para both of you are going to rot in the ignominy of cheapness and pagkalaos.

Hahahahahahaha!

And speaking of Lola Fermi, si Erich Gonzales na naman pala ang pala-palagi na naman palang binibira nito sa kanyang AC/DC columns.

Kung anu-anong kapintasan at mga kwentong pantasya ang hinahabi (hinahabi raw, o!  Hahahahahaha!) raw ng bungalyang matrona dahil siguro hindi niya mapaangat ang ilang starlets na paborito niya sa lunggang pinagtatrabahuhan niya. Hahahahahahahaha!

No matter how you lambaste Erich, it’s not going to change the fact that she’s one of the hottest box-office actresses of this generation.

Also, what’s happening with Juicy? I was told by Peter L. that you went on the air a couple of days ago at 1:45 in the morning.

Why is that so? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Is the end fast approaching, lola? Hahahahahahaha!

How so very sad!

Akala ko pa naman you are the queen of intrigues, ‘yun pala you’re the queen of the harbateras. Hahahahahaha!

Going back to Lola Marianita, I have this feeling that her career is not going to last long any longer.

Kasabay ng pagkalugas ng buhok mo ay ang pagkatigbak ng iyong career. Hahahahahahaha!

***

Marami raw akong nasasagasaan sa kampo ni Ate Vi (Ows? I’m not even aware!)

THE hecklers and good for nothing prophets of doom are concocting ruinous stories once again behind my back.

Honestly, in the few occasions that I get to see the Queenstar for all seasons, I never did try to upstage the coterie of writers who have been associated with her for so long because I know how to respect seniority and my rightful place in the sun as well.

To the best of my ability, I’ve always tried to maintain a congenial demeanor and I never showed anyone the slightest of condescension.

If the good-natured Batangas Governor is showing some kind of appreciation for the little things that I’ve done, I’m naturally glad.

But to say that I’m throwing my weight around as if I’m now the closest to the famed actress, the answer is very much on the negative.

Marunong lang mag-appreciate ng loyalty at magandang trabaho si Ate Vi and that is what makes her tick.

‘Di ba siya tulad ng iba riyan na mga deadma lang sa mga entertainment writers na nagsusulat sa kanila.

Sa totoo, respetado ko ang mga entertainment columnists na naunang di hamak sa akin sa multi-awarded actress.

Di ba naman Jimi Escala? Hahahahahaha!

I never did have the slightest delusions that I’m the better writer or that I’m already that close to Luis Manzano’s comely mom.

Kapag nakapalibot na kay Ate Vi ang orig niyang grupo, I’m just content to watch from a distance.

Fair namang tao ang multi-awarded actress kaya wala namang magiging problema.

In my own little way, I derive happiness out of watching the queen in action.

Marunong naman siya and I find it most touching that she would call me at times when she felt that in her perpetual busy working sched, I was kind of left behind.

Honestly, I never did have that kind of feeling for like I said, happiness for me is just listening to Ate Vi talk in that girlish way I have come to like enormously a lot.

***

Wala na sa eksena ang sexy actor na napunta sa network ni Ferminata

HAHAHAHAHA! So very pathetic naman ang naging episode ng sexy actor na ‘to na nu’ng nasa isang hot network pa ay napag-uusapang talaga.

He might not be scalding hot but every time there would be an important project at the network he used to be affiliated with, he would always be a part of it.

Sadly though, now that he’s part of this network that palpably reeks with all the money in the world, he seems to have faded dramatically from the scene.

Sayang ang kanyang pagka-flawless at kaseksihan. Hahahahahahahaha!

Willing pa naman siyang ibuyangyang ang kanyang nutrisyos alang-alang sa career. Hahahahahahaha!

From the looks of it, it was, admittedly, not a sound decision to move out of his former network and transfer to the network he’s presently under contract with.

Sayang na nota, pala-palagi raw nakatengga.

Pala-palagi raw nakatengga, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

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