‘Di nagpatalbog si Iza kay Georgina Wilson

I WAS able to watch the live hosting of Georgina Wilson and Iza Calzado at the Bb. Pilipinas beauty quest last night (Sunday eve) and I could honestly say that the Ms. Iza was able to acquit herself well side by side with Ms. Georgina in spite of the latter’s proficiency in English or her being well-travelled and a woman of unquestioned culture and erudition as well.

I would say na since lumipat sa Dos si Ms. Iza, lalong na-highlight ang kanyang talents na noo’y hindi masyadong recognized o nabibigyan ng chance to bloom.

Kahit ang Bb. Pilipinas/Universe and Ms. Universe 3rd runner-up na si Venus Raj of two years ago ay pinakain ng alikabok ng bagong ABS-CBN talent sa kanyang impressive and eloquent tongue.

Obvious kasing mas at home sa Tagalog si Venus and she is not that articulate or spontaneous in English. Hahahahahaha! ‘Di ba naman, Major, Major Girl?

No wonder, she bungled her chance of a lifetime to win the much-coveted Ms. Universe crown when she was a veritable dark horse then.

Congratulations for Ms. Iza for a job truly well done.

‘Yung lone male na host na si Mr. Zian Lim naman ay halatang nininerbiyos kaya parang minsan ay di niya gaanong napagtutuunan ng pansin ang mga sinasabi ni Iza, the former GMA talent was left alone to fend for herself most of the time.

Nevertheless, magaling (Zian) siyang mag-enunciate ng bawat word kaya if only for that, bongga na rin siya.

I just don’t know why he was not looking his best that evening.

Could it be the lights?

Most probably.

Nevertheless, he was articulate enough and the master of enunciation. And if only for that, he was able to pass the acid test more than adequately.

o0o

Vice Tsaka nilalayasan ng mga brib dahil sobrang ilusyunada?

WITH all her much vaunted opulence, nilalayasan pala si Vice Tsaka ng mga nakukuha niyang drib dahil wala raw itong paki at keber sa feelings ng mga ito.

Imagine, most of them would come under his employ robust and the paradigm of good health, only to become listless and tired-looking after a month or two of working for her.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Ilusyunada at walang paki raw kasi sa timonero ng kanyang expensive cars ang baklang ito na cavalier and uncouth daw talaga without the cameras being focused on him.

Sa sandamakmak na mga commitment na kanilang pinupuntahan, wala raw keber ang baklang collagened injected ang wetpaks kung gutom ba o lumafang na ang kanyang drib.

Basta’t ang alam niya, maraming lafang sa kanilang bahay at wait galore muna ang drib bago maka-lafetch. Hahahahahahaha!

Barubal, di ba naman?

Kaya ang ending, ‘di raw nagtatagal ang mga drib nito at kadalasa’y palit siya nang palit.

Kung ano raw kasing tsinaka ng fezlak nito, (tsaka raw with matching burug-burog ang fez, o! Hahahahahaha!) siya ring sama ng kanyang pag-uugali.

Yosi-kadiri!

Ang nakatatawa, super kuring daw ang baklang ito sa kanyang staff pero kung magbigay ng expensive gifts sa kanyang mga ombre na hinahads ay ganun-ganon na lang. Hahaha! (Hinahads raw, o! Hakhakhak!)

Cheeeaaaapppp!

o0o

Napakaganda ng relasyon ni Ate Vi sa mga anak!

IN THE few occasions that I was given the chance to watch Queenstar Vilma Santos in person, I’ve always been impressed with her camaraderie and sweetness with her two sons Luis Manzano and Ryan Christian Recto.

Sa recent guesting niya sa Deal or No Deal that’s slated to get aired this coming Saturday, April 21, sa birthday episode ni Luis, ang ganda-ganda ng batuhan ng mag-ina on cam na spontaneous talaga at walang previous rehearsals.

Ang siyete, super K (K as in kuring..Hahahahaha!) raw ito si Papa Luis pero when his mom emoted a certain sum for her constituents in Batangas, “It’s done!” kaagad ang sagot nito at give talaga siya ng 200K no less after the show.

Laban ka?

Ang saya-saya talaga nilang panoorin habang nagbibiruan on cam at obvious na mabait at cowboy na ina si Ate Vi.

Maybe, her being a loving mom could be one of the reasons why the years have never ruined or mangled her intrinsic comeliness.

Of course no one stays young forever but we can always slow down the ticking of the biological clock if and when we know how to.

Kita n’yo naman si Governor Vi, she is youngish and devoid of the usual plumpness and harshness of face that most mothers her age exhibit.

Stay comely and perpetually young by following Ate Vi’s lofty example.

Hear no evil, speak no evil and do no evil things.

Ganon lang ‘yun, di ba naman, Ate Vi? Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

o0o

Pa-tweetums na guwaping na young actor, nahada na ng mga vaklung sa kanilang lugar? (True ba itetch? Hahaha!)

NANG dumating ang appealing young actor na ‘to sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan, lihim na nagka-crush sa kanya ang mga vaklushi roon. Pa’no nga naman kasi, oozing with intrinsic succulence ito, not to mention his fine good looks and young superman-like appeal. Hahahahahaha!

Dahil tipong wholesome at di naman pahads, (di nga ba? Hahahahaha!) tipong to see you from afar is all my heart desires na lang ang drama ng mga nagtitilam-tilam na mga vaklushi.

Until one day, gulatsina sila nang kanilang matuklasang elyador (elyador raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) pala ito at willing sa mga one night stands with the girl that he supposedly fancies.

Girls daw talaga, o! Pa’no naman ang mga vaklungs? Hakhakhak!

Lalo pang shakira ang mga badetchis nang makarating sa kanilang kaalamang when the young man was still a plain John (meaning, was pa sa pagka-namezung…Hakhakhak!), he was into this Ginoong Something chuvanes, too!

Oh, di ba naman?

Kiyeme-kiyemeng shy siya nang magpa-pictorial sa isang clothing line at conservative puruntong ang wearing, nagsuot na pala ng daring at skimpy trunks nang sumali sa isang talent search kunetch-kunetch sa kanilang lugar.

Feel n’yo? Hakhakhak!

Kaaliw ziya, don’t you think so? Hahahahahahaha!

Kaya naman pala daring siyang mag-dialog na he supposedly favors one night stands lately and relationships are being shunned away from.

‘Yun pala, sanay na sa mga churvahan sa tabi-tabi!

Appearance indeed can be pretty deceiving.

True kaya itetch? Hahahahahahahaha!

That’s for you to know and for me to find out. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, mukhang may bulk naman ang crotch ng young ombre na ‘to na palihim na pinagtitilam-tilaman ng mga vaklung, Winnie Castillo (I’m sure!) ang mga makahahadetch sa kanya. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

o0o

Le Minh Hieu’s sensual appeal!

HE IS a fashion and ramp model from Vietnam and his name is Le Minh Hieu.

His body is much sought-after in print ads for jockstraps and other flimsy undergarments for men.

He is not homophobic but claims to be 100% male. Hahahahahaha!

How exciting!

o0o

Feeling Ms. Saigon si Gretchen Barretto sa Princess and I (Laban ka?)

BINABASA n’yo ito, palabas na ang newest soap opera ng Kapamilya network na The Princess & I kung saan ang lead character ay ginagampanan ng newest soap princess na si Kathryn Bernardo.

But it’s not Kathryn that we would like to expound on but the feisty and kind of eccentric Gretchen Barretto.

Many years ago, (this was during the late 80s up to the early 90s) she was more approachable and affable to talk to.

But being in a relationship with the business tycoon Mr. Tony ‘Boy’ Cojuangco, (they were never married simply because Mr. Cojuangco’s marriage with his legal wife was not annulled yet) has absolutely changed her demeanor and dealings with the press.

Whereas before, there used to be warmth and congeniality, she is now fast being referred to as the ‘Ice Queen’ by virtue of her stand-offish attitude with the press.

At any rate, paraan lang niya siguro ‘yun para di siya nagiging easy prey ng mga intriga.

Nevertheless, the epithet ‘Ice Queen’ blends well with her character at the soap which will start airing tonight right after TV Patrol.

La Greata’s character will do everything to make her son the rightful heir of the Kingdom of Bhutan, thereby maling life miserable for the rightful hieress Kathryn Bernardo.

Pakatutukan ang bagong teleserye na pumalit sa top-rating na E-Boy araw-araw right after TV Patrol.

o0o

Say ni Lola Fermi, Milagring parang bagong panganak daw sa laki ng tiyan, siya kaya? (Hahahaha! Cheap)

HOW amusing talaga si Lola Fermi. Imagine, lait to death siya sa laki raw ng tiyanetch ni Milagring na ang arrive kuning-kuning ay parang bagong panganak.

What about her (Lola Fermi)?

Ang lakas ng loob niyang mamintas sa kakulangan ng iba gayung siya naman itong yosi-kadiri ang laki ng tiyanetch. Hakhakhakhakhak!

How gross!

Lola, before you have the temerity to point out other people’s shortcomings, be sure to do something first about yours. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

The nerve na punahin ang tiyan ni Milagring na takable pa rin naman at konting diyeta lang ang kailangan, oks na, gayung siya itong yosi-kadiri ang laki ng tiyan! Hakhakhak!

Ayokoooooooooh! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Umayos ka, huh? Pati ‘yang panga mo ay paplantsa mo na dahil nangagsisipaglaylayan na ever.

Hahahahahaha!

‘Yun lang!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang Kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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