Daks at flawless sana claving naman! (Hahahahaha!)

KAALIW naman ang eksena ng young actor na ‘to na super flawless (his skin is satiny and a lot better than most of his leading-ladies… Hahahahahaha!) ang itzu at proimising naman sana ang crotch (overrrr! Hahahaha!).

Sa totoo, ang stock-in-trade niya ay ang kanyang expressive pair of eyes na talaga namang very soulful ang dating.

Sa katatapos nga lang na telenovela nila ng isang young actor, talaga namang nakipagtalbugan siya rito sa acting to the point that he was almost able to upstage him. Hahahahaha!

Ang kaso, kapag nagsasayaw na siya, ‘yun na! Hahahahahahaha!

His seductive body movements and facial expression rival that of the great prima ballerina Anna Pavlova. Hahahahaha!

Kabaliwed! Hakhakhak!

Anyway, burgeoning ang showbiz niya sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan simply because the gay executives appear to have taken a great fancy on him and his extremely telegenic face and bursting at the seams crotch. Hahahahahaha!

Bursting at the seams crotch daw, o! Hahahahahaha!

Whatever, kung nagkataong tunay na lalaki lang ang bagets na ‘to, marami talaga siyang patatubing matinee idol dahil sa umiilaw niyang skin tone at burat appeal.

Burat appeal daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!

As a matter of fact, nu’ng magkaroon ng affair ang isang sosyal na gay mag, isa siya sa tinilian at pinagdukitan (would you know what that connotes? Hahahahahahahaha!) ng mga baklitas. Hahahahahahaha!

Kay kinis-kinis kasi ng kanyang butt (that was displayed almost halfway…Hahahahaha!) kaya elyang-elya ang mga mujeradang bakla, isa siya sa most applauded personalities nang gabing ‘yun.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Sayang na endowment. Nota rin ang kasukat niya. Hahahahahahaha!

Nota rin daw ang kasukat niya, o! Hakhakhak!

***

Nangangaykay sa galit ang mga Noranians!

HAHAHAHA! Almost violent ang reactions ng mga Noranians from all walks of life because of our very honest and candid comments on their idol Ms. Nora Aunor and the Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos.

Bago kasi mag-react, they should get to know their idol better.

Me, I’ve observed Ate Vi from a distance for almost three decades now and I can honestly say that I’ve finally found the right person to idolize.

Ang pagkakaiba lang, hindi blind idolatry this time ang namamayani (o, Ferminata, tigilan na ang pagtatanga-tangahan at ayusin ang Pananagalog mo, huh? Tagalog na nga lang, timbog ka pa! Hahahahahahaha! Cheap!) kundi paghanga in its most exalted level.

Through the years, I have come to admire Ate Vi for what she is – a fine actress and a lovable person who is the paradigm of exalted values and good breeding.

With Nora, I cannot say the same thing.

Mag-text brigade man sila sa akin kasama ang may halitosis na si Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Cashtro (Hahahahahaha!) using the vilest of words, I just don’t give a hoot!

I will always stand for whatever I believe in.

Ate Vi is good breeding personified and it shows in the way the carries herself in public with dignity intact.

Hindi siya barubal dumiskarte o kumilos and is every inch a lady even under seige. Hahahahaha!

Kaya magtigil-tigil kayo sa inyong mga kabaliwan!

Admittedly, mas naunang naging byword ang pangalan ni Ms. Aunor but in the end, in their long drawn-out race for stardom and box-office supremacy, among other things, it’s Queen Vi who’s been able to win.

Ang magreklamo, magiging dead ringer (dead ringer raw, o! Hahahahaha! I don’t want it puhleeezzzeee!) ni Ferminata, the oslang chikadora! Hahahahahaha!

***

Kindred spirits

BEL-AIR Makati is definitely one of the posh subdivisions at the Metropolis but surprisingly, they seem to have maintained that special brand of camaraderie that you’d only get to see in the provinces.

At their annual Pasinaya festival, the whole community goes out and work as a team to make the occasion a veritable success.

This year’s much-loved Barangay Captain is Nene Lichauco.

The vivacious woman is ostensibly passionate about their annual Pasinaya which begins from May 4 and would culminate on the 6th.

According to Mrs. Lichauco, “The spirit of community is so strong here in Bel-Air. We all know each other, we greet each other, we talk, we make time for our neighbors.”

“That’s very true!” chimes in Ms. Susan Calo Medina of Travel Time, definitely one of the most enduring travel show on national television.
“We are not opulent people unlike most of the perception of the great majority.

“Bel-Air is definitely a middle class community,” she adds in earest. “We all know each other by first name and when we have this annual celebration of Pasinaya, we definitely would work as a team.

“Walang paistaran,” she asseverates. “Pare-pareho lang lahat.

“Even our kasambahay are treated nicely and are not being discriminated.

“As a matter of fact, we have this Gabi ng Kasambahay where our helpers are given the chance to shine.”

Kaya when you’re not busy on the dates we’ve mentioned, feel free to drop by at the Bel-Air’s Pasinaya festi- val where showmanship and community spirit meet up joyfully!

***

Brent Javier never fades with time!

ONE look at Brent Javier’s exceedingly boyish face and yummy body and you’ll never have the slightest idea that he’s already past thirty.

Sa totoo, mas sariwa at boyish pa siyang tingnan sa mga showbiz wannabe na in their late teens palang and yet they already have that wasted look on their faces.

Brent is thirty one pushing on thirty two and yet he still exudes the aura of youth and delectable appeal.

He’s into modelling right now and is still much sought-after.

Look at his photo and be the judge.

As always, bawal magtikol! Hakhakhak!

***

Annabelle Rama namumukod-tangi!

I’VE been in this business for quite sometime already but I can count only with my fingers the people in here who are honest and sincere in their dealings with the press and people in general.

And one of them happens to be the feisty Ms. Annabelle Rama.

Sa totoo, ang paplastic ng karamihan sa mga artista natin at never mo silang mapapupunta sa isang okasyon na di naman ginanap sa mga esekolang venues.

Since I’m not in the position to celebrate my birthday (that I was celebrating then with my beloved Christo- pher) in style, I normally would just cook for my guests at home.

Kung makaalala sila, fine. Kung hindi naman, not my loss.

Anyhow, a couple of days prior to our joint birthday celebration way back during the 90s, I was able to see Madam Annabelle at the GMA Supershow that was then one of the hottest shows in Tinsel Town.

Since wala namang mawawala, I took a chance on love and had the bravura to invite her and daughter Ruffa G.

She didn’t promise but said they’d give it a try.

You could just imagine how surprised I was when she came indeed on the night of Christopher’s birthday and mine and with her daughter Ruffa in tow.

From then on, kahit na hindi na kami nagkikita, I have always held her on high esteem.

Iba siya. Hindi mabukeke pero may puso at marunong makisama.

Kaya nitong magkaroon sila ng gap ng isang artista, solid talaga ako sa kanya.

Mataray nga siguro siya pero may puso at marunong maipagkapwa.

I love you, Ms. Annabelle. We are not close but I seem to have found a friend in you.

Okay ka!

One of the best personalities in the business today!

But definitely!

***

Sam Pinto paborito ni Ogie Alcasid

TOUCHING naman. Kahit marami pala ang nagkokontrabida kay Sam Pinto ay ipinakipaglaban siya ni Ogie Alcasid para mapasama sa cast ng pelikula niyang Boy Pickup sa Regal films.

Nagustuhan kasi ng papa ni Regine Velasquez ang tandem nila sa Bubble Gang kaya nakiusap talaga siya kay Boss Vic del Rosario para payagan nito ang dalaga para makapagtrabaho sa Regal.

Ang sabi, sobrang insecurity raw ang nararamdaman ng isang lead actress sa movie na ‘yun kaya she tried everything in her power to prevent Sam’s entry into their movie.

Ang kaso, si Ogie na mismo ang nagdesisyong gusto niyang kasama si Sam kaya wala nang nagawa ang mga insekurida.

Asset naman kasi ng pelikula ang wholesome appeal ng alaga ni Ms. Claire dela Fuente kaya si Ogie na mismo ang gumawa nang paraan para matuloy ang tandem nila sa movie version ng Bubble Gang.

Dapat lang!

Iba naman ang appeal ni Sam sa nakararami.

She’s wholesome and beautiful in a manner that’s not at all intimidating.

As a matter of fact, she’s angelic even when attired in the skimpiest of bikini.

Kumbaga, panalo talaga!

Period. Walang comma!

***

Super emote ang kampo ni Ferminata na rating daw Paparazzi (Really? Hahahaha!)

LATELY, maraming nagti-text sa atin na masyado raw defensive ang kampo ni Ferminata Bungalya (Ferminata Bungalya raw, o! Hahahahaha!) kaya dakdak to-the-max sa radyo nilang ewan kung may nakikinig (Hahahahaha!) na hindi raw true ang mga chikang flopzing ang Parazzi nila na lalayasan na raw ni Ruffa Gutierrez dahil di na yata ma-take ang kabaduyan ni Lola Fermi. Hahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, very classy naman ang arrive ni Ruffa G. para magtiyaga sa bduyistic na programang ‘yun na parang mga aborigines ang kanyang kasama.

Aborigines raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, what would nganga do in the event that she gets axed from their show?

Magiiyak kaya siya o magbigti sa puno ng kamatis?

Magbigti raw sa puno ng kamatis, o! Hakhakhak!

I’m not a prophet of doom but I do have this hunch that sooner or later, she’ll be out of it. Hahahahahaha!

Sino bang negosyante ang magpapakalugi sa isang cheap na teevee host na matagal nang nilubugan ng araw ang hosting skills?
Hahahahahaha!

Magtinda ka na lang, lola, ng chicken wings sa Parada, Valenzuela city. Hahahahahahahaha!

Baka pagkaguluhan ka pa at maligawan ng mga young men on the loose.

Young men on the loose raw, o! Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, papano namang kikita ang Parazzing sa laki na lang ng talent fee ni Nganga, do you think makababawi pa ang management? Hahahahahahaha!

Que pobrecita usted. Magnganga ka na lang, ang daming ikmo at bunga rito sa amin sa talipapa. Hakhakhak!

***

Paula Biance maswerte sa pagkakaroon ng mabait at supportive na ama

MASWERTE itong si Paula Bianca, Vicor records’ newest talent, dahil very supportive sa kanya ang kanyang amang si Papa Dhann C.

Imagine, her dad is moving heaven and earth so that his daughter is going to get noticed and eventually realize her dream of becoming a top entertainer along the lofty line of the country’s top recording artists.

Pop-rock ang forte ni Paula at lalo pang humuhusay ang kanyang pagkanta dahil her loving dad is always around to lend a helping hand.

Singer rin kasi si Papa Dhann kaya naiintindihan niya ang sentiments ng kanyang anak.

Kaya sa abot ng kanyang nakakaya, he really is doing everything to help her out with her recording career.

Kunsabagay, Paula Bianca isa not hard to push to the mass-oriented CD buyers since her kind of songs veritably appeals to all people from all walks of life.

Idagdag mo pa ang mapwersa at voluble singing voice niya and you certainly have a most promising singer at your disposal.

Carrier single ng kanyang self-titled album under Vicor ang Vehnee Saturno composition na Napakasakit Naman.

Si Mother Alfie Lorenzo nga pala ang kanyang over-all publicist at si Mama Daisy Romualdez naman ang kanyang manager.

Nominated nga pala si Paula B. (with her album carrier song Napakasakit naman) sa Best New Artist category sa Tambayan 101.9 OPM awards.

You guys can vote for her by typing Tambayan33 then send to 2331 for Globe and Sun, and 231 for Smart.

You can vote 5 times a day per cell number from April 9 to May 13.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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