‘Di raw mukhang pera: Money oriented lang! (hahahaha! cheap!)

NAKATATAWA naman itong aging actor na ‘to na nag-over-da-bakod sa isang extremely opulent network dahil mukhang pera raw ang tingin sa kanya ng mga otaw. Talaga lang, huh?

Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, you look at it, it was the huge monetary consideration that he was after why he moved out of the former network that he used to be a part of and nothing else.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Kahit i-justify pa niya to the max na ang pagho-host daw ng niya ng isang klase ng race (di kaya push cart race na lang ang maging ending nito a month or two from now? Hakhakhak!) sa nilipatang network, no one would ever believe him.

Ang bottom line is nasilaw siya sa anda and that’s the truth!

Tigilan na nga ang mga justifications na ‘yan at magpakatotoo na lang siya at baka matanggap pa ng publiko.

How cheap!

No offense meant to the network because they are not in any way to be blamed for the fiasco that has happened to the career of this aging actor, pero ang consensus ay talagang malalaos siya, most specially so now that the network he has moved into has no particular leading lady for him to team up with. Hahahahahahaha!

For the meantime, her lady love has been offered a soap that’s hard to resist with her on the lead.

Baka tapusin muna ng sexy actress ang bago niyang project bago niya seriously i-consider ang pagsunod sa kanyang money-obsessed na paparu.

Hakhakhak!

Bahala na nga sila!

Anyway, sana’y mag-isip-isip muna ang sexy actress na ‘to bago lumipat dahil 100% na matitigbak ang kanyang career the very moment na magbabu siya sa network na kinakokontratahan niya to give in to what her heart dictates.

Mag-isip-isip ka, ning. Sometimes, our head should rule over our heart for self-preservation purposes.

Think about it, my dear, before you totally regret it!

‘Yun lang!

***

Vice Chaka asset dati ng programa nila… ngayo’y katigbakan na!

HAHAHAHAHA! How amusing! Kung dati-rati’y prime asset ng It’s Showtime itong yosi-kadiri ang dentures na badinggarceng gusto raw matigok at the age of 40, (really? be careful what you wish for, baka magkatotoo! Hahahahahahaha!) this time around, it appears that he’s going to be responsible for its premature demise.

Nag-overboard kasi sa kanyang katarayan ang mukhang yokabang vaklung na ‘to kaya ang ending, negang-nega na siya at mas effect daw na Vice Chaka na lang ang ipangalan sa kanya ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

The mere fact na pinagwelgahan na ng mga advertizer ang kanyang late evening Sunday show sa ABS ay isang indications of the horrible things that are forthcoming.

Kung bakit kasi umover ang pag-iilusyon ng tabi-tabingi ang dentures na baklang ito at akala mo’y kung sino na siya di naman exceptional ang singing at hosting style.

Puwede ba pantyline-make-it-brief? Hahahahahahaha!

Pasalamat nga siya at nailakad siya ni Ogie Diaz sa Dos, for if not, she’d up a miserable faggot at 40.

Matuto ka kasing magpasalamat sa mga grasyang dumarating sa ‘yo at di ganyang feeling mo’y ikaw na ang pinasikat sa lahat di naman proportioned ang collagen na in-inject sa wetpaks mo ever! Hakhakhak!

Sana pati mga hita mong pagkaliliit ay pinakargahan mo na rin nito para di ka naging baklang alimango!

Cheeeaaaappp!

Dati talaga, di ko na lang pinapansin ang ilung baklang ito. Kaso over na. Pati ba naman ang gwaping at mabait niyang direktor ay pinagmamalditahan, it’s high time sigurong makatikim ng hambalos ang baklang ito para matuto at magtanda.

Mark my word day, in less than a year’s time, malalaos ka ‘pag ‘di ka nagbagu-bago sa bornok mong pag-uugali.

Period. Ayoko ng baklang puro ngala-ngala!

How gross! Hakhakhakhakhak!

***

Nagpa-inject pa ba ng collagen sa labi si Anne Curtis?

MAGANDA na sana si Anne Curtis dahil ang ongoing rumor ay pinabawasan daw nito ang kanyang lower lip kaya cinematic na siyang tingnan at naaangguluhan na nang maganda.

But lately, I was horrified when I saw her giving a pre-taped greetings kay Papa Luis Manzano in connection with his birthday celebration at Deal Or No Deal.

Dios mio perdon! ang bagay na ginawan nang paraan noon ay mukhang ibinalik kaya nagmukha siyang bilasang tilapya.

Hakhakhak!

Puhleeezzzzeeee! Put a stop to your illusions and delusions and don’t mangle your lips the way it was before.

Baka biglang maglayasan ang mga natitira pang televiewer n’yo sa noontime show na halos sisinghap-singhap na nga ang ratings at ‘di na makaalagwa sa Eat Bulaga.

Don’t get me wrong, huh? I’m not in any way working as PR for Tape’s office’s noontime show but it’s admittedly clobbering up Showtime ignominiously at the ratings.

Matauhan ka, Anne Curtis, and do not commit the same hideous blunder of availing of this abominable thing called collagen lips.

Mukha kang bisugong sisinghap-singhap, ning, at muling nagbabalik ang kaograhan mo nu’ng time na ang lapad-lapad ng labi mo at di maangguluhan nang maayos ng mga camera men.

Period!

***

Carlo Morris Galang manhunt to Library Malate

NATUTUWA naman ang followers ng Manhunt Philippines hunk na si Carlo Morris Galang dahil kahit papano, may career naman siya sa mga local shows lately particularly in Library Malate kung saan his gay following would usually see his gorgeous body that’s being paraded in all its flawless exuberance.

Hindi man siya nanalo sa Manhunt International competition more than a year ago, mabentang-mabenta naman siya sa mga local shows kung saan naipakikita niya ang kanyang natural ability when it comes to sexy macho dancing.

***

Ate Vi’s pride & joy!

I USED to see Ryan Christian Recto from a distance but not up-close and personal.

But lately, I had the liberty of watching him at close range when she came with Governor Vilma Santos Recto in connection with her guesting at Luis Manzano’s birthday celebration at Deal Or No Deal.

At fourteen, he’s indeed a veritable looker and has admittedly taken after his dad’s intelligence and appetizing good looks, along with his mom’s fabled charisma.

No wonder, the press were palpably smitten with his ostensible charisma and overflowing intelligence.

Ang nakatutuwa, naipakita rin niya ang kanyang sensitive nature when he cried along with brother Luis while the latter was reading, in a highly emotional note, the letter coming from his dad Edu Manzano.

When I was seated beside him much later on, he explained that he was not by nature an emotional person but he got carried away because it was Kuya Lucky who was getting emotional after all.

Oo nga naman.

Wala pala silang sibling rivalry at napalaki silang maayos, nagmamahalan at nagrerespetuhan ng mom nilang si Ate Vi.

Panoorin po natin ang special guesting nina Ate Vi at Ryan Christian sa Deal or No Deal this coming April 21 at tiyak na mag-e-enjoy kayo as the Queenstar tried to outsmart Lucky and the enigmatic Banker.

Magetlag kaya ni Ate Vi ang elusive P2 million?

Abangan!

***

Dating hot hubadero nagpapahada na lang sa laguna kapag senglot!

DURING his time, he was admittedly one of the hot bold actors who had no qualms in showcasing his wares for all the fags to ogle at and fantasize about. Hahahahahaha!

Hindi man siya kasing-gwapo ng older brod niyang hubo-tabo rin ang drama sa mga bold flicks na nilalabasan nito, maganda naman ang kanyang slim na katawan at may career rin ang eskalerang nota.

May career raw ang eskalerang nota, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, in his middle age, mas effect na ang kanyang hitsura as compared sa older brod niyang medyo nalulong sa droga pero ngayo’y Born Again Christian na.

Laban ka? Bible instructor na si kuya and his murky past appears nothing but a stage in his youth he’d like to forget or get totally obliterated.

Going back to our subject, nagkakabit siya ng aluminum doors and windows sa Sta. Rosa, Laguna where he’s now residing as a simple but hardworking citizen.

‘Yun nga lang, kapag nalalasing na raw si kuya, nagiging generous na siya pagdating sa pagsi-share ng kanyang katilam-tilam pa ring notrilya. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ang dating pinanonood lang sa big screen ng mga vaklung ay natitikman na nila at nau-umum live and in flesh kapag tipsy na si kuya ever. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ang siyete, ganadung-ganado raw ang mga vaklung dahil may asim pa rin si kuya lalo na’t di naman ito tumaba o tumandang tulad ng kanyang nakatatandang kapatid.

Gets n’yo ba kung sino siya?

Tanong n’yo kay Mother Myra Manibog na masyado nang palasimba sa ngayon.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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