Ebak lang sa paningin ng publiko!

HAHAHAHAHA! Dahil sa kamalditahan at kababuyan, mukhang sa kangkungan pupulutin ang career nitong si Cristine Reyes.

Sa true, baboy sa dilang baboy ang pag-uugali ng monster na babaeng ito na infested with yosi-kadiring cellulite ang mga hita. Hahahahahahahaha!

Imagine, after all the loving and the caring that her sister Are Mina had given her, she (diabolical Cristine) still has the temerity to accuse her sister of some horrible doings.

This woman is indeed a blight!

A Pestilence!

She deserves to rot in hell if ever such place truly exists!

Grabe talaga ang nagawa ng show business sa babaeng ito na untakable talaga ang barubal na pag-uugali.

Siguro, sila ni Marianita Kuflangga, ang guranggang asal-matrona (di ba naman mukhang andang tabatsina? Hahahahaha!) ang dapat na pagtapatin dahil close fight ang kanilang evil persona. Hahahahahahaha!

Did I hit the nail right on its head, obese na matronang priority pala-palagi ang anda? Hahahahahahaha!

Magtika ka na ng mga pagkakasala mo, Lola Anda, before you plunge straight down into the abyss of hell. Hahahahaha!

Anyway, going back to the abominable Cristine Reyes, kiyemeng nagdrama-drama raw ang babaeng asal-demonya nang sumulat sa sis niyang si Ara Mina na kiyemeng magbati na kuno sila dahil magkapatid sila at alang-alang na lang sa kanilang inang nagkakaedad na.

Hahahahahahaha!

Really?

Ang kaso, practically the same day, (Bubonika wrote about this in her pambalagtasan column…Hahahahahaha!) go raw ang karumal-dumal ang pag-uugaling demonya at nilait to-the-max ang ina niyang may phobia na sa kababuyan niya.

Grabeeee! Ang tindi talaga ng sama ng pag-uugali ng ilung babaeng ito na ewan kung kanino nagmana.
Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, after her demonic doing gets maximum media mileage, do you think this diabolical actress would still have a burgeoning career in the business?

I honestly don’t think so!

Ang mga katulad niyang hayupera ang pag-uugali ay nararapat lang na nalalaos at nawawalan ng career para mag-tanda at magpakataong muli.

Sa totoo, hindi sapat na marunong kang umarte at may ganda (kahit peke at di orig…Hakhakhak!), in the end, what’s most important is your attitude off-cam.

Ang mga taong tulad ng cellulite-infested na babaeng ito ay dapat na pinarurusahan and what a most fitting way to do it than giving her a dose of her own yosi-kadiri kind of medicine.

Huwag n’yong panoorin ang mga soap operas na ginagawa ng matindi pa sa burak ang bibig at pag-uugaling babaeng ‘yan.

Dapat lang na matuto siya ng leksyon para magtanda!

Period!

o0o

Bago nagka-indie movie ang iba riyan, marami nang nag-o-offer kay Ate Vi!

MAY patutsada na naman ang mga walang magawa riyan na mas nauna na naman daw si Ms. Nora Aunor kay Queenstar Vilma Santos dahil nagsu-shoot na ito somewhere in the land of the Abu Sayyaf ng isang Brilliante Mendoza film.

Talaga lang, huh?

Honestly, Ate Vi had been talking about her indie movie offers (some of which went to Cherie Pie Picache) mid of last year pa.

Hindi nga lang nag-materialize dahil her hectic working sched had veritably stood in the way.

Lately nga, before the advent of this Brilliante Mendoza movie with Ms. Aunor, Adolf Alix had been offering Governor Vi with some indie projects but she just can’t commit since she’s busy with Star Cinema’s “The Healing” that’s slated to get shown sometime in July.

Anyway, as of press time, Ate Vi has already given her nod to an indie project with the said director and shooting would commence as soon as she gets to finish the Direk Chito Rono’s horror flick.

Baka naman sabihin na naman ng mga intrigera riyan na after you, Guy na naman ever. Hakhakhak!

Manahimik na nga kayo, noh?

Ipanalangin n’yo na lang na mag-hit naman sa box-office ang movie ni Mama Guy n’yo para makabawi na siya sa pagkalugmok ever.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, kay Ate Vi pa rin, kakaiba talaga ang kanyang ginintuang puso.

To date, she’s been supporting some war veterans for quite sometime now.

Ramdam na ramdam kasi niya ang sad plight nila kaya sumusuporta siya sa abot ng kanyang makakaya.

Matulungin ang ermat ni Papa Luis Manzano kaya lagi na’y good karma.

Ang mang-intriga, magiging kamukha ni Bubonika at Joey ‘Vavalina’ de Cashtro, da halitosis infested bayotella. Hahahahahaha!

o0o

Gurang na bilasa, natuwa raw sa ginawang panghaharang na naman sa amin sa presscon ng soap ni Marianita diabolica!

HAHAHAHAHA! As if naman I care!

This obese and ill-mannered old woman is purportedly rejoicing because she’s allegedly been able to put one over us by way of standing in the way of our invitation at her protegee’s soon-to-flop dramedy (is there such a thing as that? Hahahahahahahaha! how abhorrently cheap!) at GMA.

Hahahahahaha!

Puhlezzzzeeee! As if naman I get affected.

Cheap old bitch of a witch, you’ve been doing that for so long already, I have become inured to your downright deplorable doings or maneuverings. Hahahahahahahaha!

Ano ba naman kasi ang kinai-insecure-ran mo, lola?

You have all the money in the world. You’re hosting a showbiz-oriented talkshow that has been airing for so long on national television already.

Kunsabagay, you don’t have my kind of intelligence and poise on cam. Hahahahahahaha!

Puro harbatan lang naman kasi ang alam mo, kamuntik ka na ngang makulong dahil sa scam na ginawa mo more than two decades ago.

Hahahahahahaha!

Siguro sa edad mong ‘yan, dapat lang na matuto kang magdasal at humingi ng kapatawaran sa mga kababuyang ginawa mo.

You’re not getting any younger, aging harbatera, it’s high time that you ask forgiveness to the Lord for all the despically diabolical doings that you’ve done for almost four decades now.

Death is just around the corner, harbatera. Try to make peace with the people that you’ve sinisterly offended and die at peace when your time comes along.

‘Yun lang!

o0o

Gino Quintana’s sizzling dick!

HAHAHAHAHA! He looks erotically handsome but most fags of all ages are attracted to his endowments. Hahahahaha! The main reason why he won the title Mr. Globe Philippines 2010 and was able to play the lead role at Mon Parungao’s film Santuaryo.

Huwag na nating patagalin, here’s Gino Quintana in all his succulent glory.

Hahahahahahahaha!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hakhakhak!

o0o

Ms. Rhea Santos is unforgetable at GMA’s Tunay na Buhay

SINCE I started editing Sir Benny Antiporda’s Remate, walang tulugan na ang aking drama. Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yung mga shows na otherwise ay di ko napanonood, I now have the time to watch them while I do my editing chore on the side.

And one of the shows that I’m quite fascinated with is Ms. Rhea Santos’ Tunay na Buhay that gets aired every Friday nights right after Saksi.

For some reasons, I frequently get invited in this show.

Baka nagustuhan ni Ms. Rhea or ng staff niya ang no-holds-barred commentaries namin sa mga personalities na kanilang pini-feature, the most recent of which happens to the rock-diva Mystica.

In a way, nakatutuwa namang meron pang ganitong show na nagbibigay ng atensyon sa mga personalities na otherwise ay hindi napi-feature sa mga pralala-oriented talkshows these days.

And assset siyempre ng show ay si Ms. Rea who’s bubbling with enthusiasm as she goes out interviewing her subjects.

Ang maganda sa kanya, she’s not at all heavily dolled up unlike most of the late evening show hosts that I get to inadvertently chance about.

I just hope you guys would watch her show.

It’s fascinating and informative at the same time.

o0o

Regular and soo itim na notes ng ‘di katangkarang aktor, pinagkakamatayan ng mga girlalu sa isang network

HAHAHAHAHA! How amusing naman.

Imagine, this not-so-tall and not in vogue anymore, not-so-young actor, appears to have become a notes icon (is there such a thing, dearies?
Hahahahahahahaha!) at this network that oveflows with kadatungan. Hahahaha!

Hitsura ng sex symbol sa kanya kung adulation ng mga female starlets ang pag-uusapan.

Ang nakatatawa, lately, iba na ang kwentong nagsi-circulate. Hakhakhak!

Cry me a river raw ang isang half-Japanese, half-Pinay na sexy actress dahil deadmatic na sa kanyang mga emailed messages at mga tawag ang lalaking mahiwaga na ube-colored ang nota. Hahahahahaha!

Ube-colored daw ang dyuts na nota, o! Hakhakhak!

Iba talaga ang mga babae sa mga vaklushi ever. Hahahahahahahahaha!

With women, men like this guy we are talking about who’s got a small dick but long and probing tongue are always welcome.

Always welcome raw, o! Hakhakhak!

Not with gays though who have always wanted their papas to be tremendously well-endowed. Hakhakhak!

Tsalap!tsalap!tsalap! Hahahahahahaha!

Ang nakaririndi pa, sila-sila na rin daw ang ombre na ‘to kaya mas feel niyang mag-stay sa Tate para mapagbigyan ang kanyang hilig.

Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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