Malamang maging Part 2 ni Mamang Rudy Fuentes!

UMAAPAW na ang kayabangan at pagka-monster nitong si Vice Tsaka kaya marami talaga ang napi-freak-out sa kanya.

Imagine, may kasabihan tayo sa Ingles na you should never bite the hand that feeds you but that is what this delusory fag is exactly doing lately.

Wala na talaga siyang sinasanto.

Pati ang mentor niyang Direk Bobet Vidanes ay hindi na raw sinusunod nito at feeling niya’y siya na ang dapat sundin sa kanilang rating-less na reality show.

Sosyal! Feeling invincible, di ba naman? Hahahahahaha!

Kalukring!

Magpa-dermabrasion ka nga muna, lola, para di nauubos ang mga concealers sa kamamasilya sa skin tone mong kailangang laging iniilawan bago kunan ng camera! Hahahahahahaha!

How gross! Hahahahahaha!

Unang-una, kaya ka nga tinawag na yokaba ay dahil sa Chuck Perez ka. Apart from that, you’re not even that talented. Hahahahahahaha!

And speaking of talent, kadalasan ay off-key ka sa Showtime at napakababa ng boses mo. Hahahahahaha!

Huwag kang mag-ilusyon that men are running after you because you’re beautiful.

You’re not! And you will never be!

Puhleezzzeee! Paayos mo nga pala ang tabingi mong ilong. Tutal filthy rich ka na naman. Hahahaahahaha!

Cheeeaaaapppp!

Kaya nga nila hinahabol ay dahil sa datungera ka, nothing more!

Without your money, you won’t amount to anything what with your diabolical nature, gross delusions and cheap orientation in life.

Bakya crowd ka lang nababagay at di ka uubra sa medyo sosi na crowd dahil super syonga ka.

Period. Ayoko ng ilung tsaka!

Pag-ingatan mo nga pala ang anda mo dahil I can see in you the makings of another Rudy Fuentes, La Loba Loca.

Hahahahahahaha!

***

Kuya Boy Abunda’s levelheadedness

KAPAG pinalalabas ang plugging ni Kuya Boy Abunda sa AB- CBN kung saan nagsasalita siya tungkol sa pagmamahal niya sa kanyang Nanay Lecing, di namin maiwasang tumigil kahit na ano pa ang aming ginawa para namnamin ang essence ng kanyang mensahe.

Napakaganda ng kanyang mga pinagsasasabi at ramdam na ramdam mo ang pagmamahal ni Kuya Boy sa kanyang ina who had given the best years of her life to him and her other offspring.

Tama lang talagang ibigay ni Kuya Boy ang lahat ng kanyang oras at panahon sa kanyang ina dahil naging ideal mom naman ito during their youth.

Ang isang mapagmahal na inang tulad ni Nanay Lecing ay dapat lang talagang pinagtoonan ng pagmamahal specially so now that she’s not that mobile anymore and has become helpless and is afflicted with a mild attack of dementia.

Kay Kuya Boy pa rin, isa siya sa mga dahilan kung bakit maintained ng The Buzz ang kanilang mataas na ratings.

Kahit na ano pa ang gawin nang iba riyan, di talaga makakayang talbugan ang kanyang reliability at credibility through the years.

***

Ferminata hitsura ng may dementia! (hahahaha!)

HAHAHAHAHA! Hindi na talaga nalaman ng lolang ngangaerang si Ferminata kung ano ba talaga ang gagawin niya para magkaroon man lang ni isang legit ad ang Juicy na talaga namang madaling araw na sumasalang lately. Hahahahahahaha!

At 1:45 am, considering na wala naman silang aliw factor tulad nu’ng old Juicy na pinagtitiyagaang hintayin ng aming mga avid televiewer dahil solved na solved sila at di natatakot sa aming mga hitsura, wala na talagang nagtitiyagang manood sa kanila lalo na’t may kasama pa siyang isa pang ogrilya. Hahahahahaha!

Anyhow, during our time, it used to have 12 ad placements during our peak months pero dahil sa mga inggitera, nabawasan ito hanggang eventually ay mawala na dahil sa binusalan na nga kami nina Morly at Rey Pumaloy for fear na ma-upstage ang mga manok nila. Hahahahahaha!

Anyway, tulad nang madalas kong isulat, nu’ng paalis na kami, unti-unti na sanang nangagsisipagbalikan ang mga commercials dahil di na nga kami binusalan at hinayaan na lang gawin ang mga rating ginagawa namin tutal titigbakin na rin lang naman. Hahahaha!

Anyhow, when Lola Fermi took over (hitsurang she was in deep mourning…Hahahahahaha! Magplastic ba? Cheap!) doon na nailawan ang kanyang ineptness as host. Hahahahahahaha!

Bumanat ba naman ng mga kata at kita with matching amaalog-alog na ill-fitting dentures, pa’no ka na? Hahaha!

Superkagifragilistic expialidocious cheap!

Hahahahahahahaha!

For the umpteenth time, I’m advising you lola, mag-diet ka dahil super turned off tingnan ang laylayic mong pa nga. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Your stomach too is gross-looking. Hakhakhak!

Pa-lipo mo na ‘yan. Hakhakhak!

So very yucky!

***

Phil Younghusband at his sexiest!

IF BEFORE he was a bit daring in his pictorials, today Phil Younghusband has become conservative of sorts and has shunned away from wearing revealing trunks like this.

Hahahahahaha!

Just look at his gorgeous bod along with his satiny skin tone and be convinced that he’s one prized catch. Hahahahahaha!

Kumbaga, hita palang, ulam na, kumusta pa ang nota? Hakhakhak!

As usual, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahaha!

***

Ate Vi’s memorable Singapore tryst with Ralph and Ryan

THE Queenstar is not a machine, it’s but to be expected that she’d like to unwind once in a while just like what she did last April 2 when she hied off to Singapore with husband Senator Ralph Recto and son Ryan Chris- tian.

“Tuesday kami umalis,” she recounts her experience right after her guesting stint at Luis Manzano’s show Deal or No Deal. “Wednesday, Thursday, nakapag-ikot pa ako pero Friday, Saturday, Sunday, nakakulong na lang ako sa hotel room ko. Peak season kasi nang magpunta kami roon.”

Ang dami raw kasing tao kaya nag-decide na lang siyang sa hotel na lang mag-ikut-ikot.

Sang-ayon kay Ate Vi, sumilip daw siya sa casino ng hotel at nagpatalo ng 2 cents. (Laban ka, Ate Guy? Hahahaha!) Marami raw namang mapupuntahang lugar sa loob nito and she didn’t have to go out to be able to enjoy herself.

Anyway, speaking of his recent guesting at Luis’ game show, aminado siyang in stark contrast, kabang-kaba siya nu’ng first time na mag-guest siya kay Kris Aquino when she was the one anchoring it. “Di talaga ako kabang-kaba this time,” she asseverates. “Feeling ko nasa bahay lang ako at di ako natatakot what with Lucky around to keep me company.

“Noon,” she looks back amused, “I felt so uncomfortable.

“I really felt comfortable now plus the fact na si Lucky ito,” she musingly states.

Shifting to other avenues of her life, her son Ryan is fast growing up to be a looker, would she allow him to enter show business?

“To guest in some showbiz-oriented show would be fine,” says the comely Batangas governor, “but a full time show would be a no, no!”

On Ryan’s part, he says he’s grateful that ASAP invited him.

“They gave me the opportunity to spend time with my brother,” he says palpably complacent.

Would he plunge into politics also like mom Vi and dad Ralph?

“I don’t see myself doing that yet,” he coos. “We’ll see in the future when I get to finish my studies.”

Oo nga naman.

***

Supotelyang Vavalina.. aning-aning na!

JOEY de Castro, the uncircumcized neanderthal (neanderthal daw, o! Hahahaha!) baklita is back to his old style of using different sim cards to be able to send in deplorably cheap messages at our cellphones.

This old hag of a fag pretends to be a Dongyan so he could hit us repeatedly on the pretense that he’s suppo- sedly enfuriated with us because we’ve been hitting his idol nonstop. Hahahahahaha!

Magtigil ka na nga supotelya. Wala kang K dahil humpak-humpakan na ang keps mo, along with your sokpalites na paoranggetch na wekpaks. Hahahahahaha!

Poor Joanna Duldolica (Duldolica raw, o! Hahahahaha!), for wanting of better things to do, specially so now that her puss-oriented duldol are mushrooming like hell all over his emaciated body (poor vaklung, no one likes him because he’s too old and kalbo and emaciated as an askal cat…Hahahahahahaha!), he spends most of his time concocting hideous lies to hit us with.

Hahahahaha!

Anyway, this old faggot whose body is grossly infested with puss from hell (puss from hell daw, o!Hahahahaha!) appears never to have enjoyed the luxury of a sound sleep and is perennially sending in some diabolical messages non-stop. Hahahahahahaha!

Palibhasa’y walang panggibzung sa mga ombres na super turned off sa kanyang nagnanaknak na mga duldol (nagnaknak na mga duldol daw, o! Harharhar!), hanggang pag-e-estimate na lang ang ngetpalites na baklang ito courtesy of her advanced diabetes. Hahahahahahaha!

Mamatay ka na halimaw na baklang pinalafang namin for two decades sa bahay namin pero ingrata at nagnanais pang matigok na raw kami para he could usurp our radio program, along with the columns that we maintain then from different tabloids. Hahahahahahaha!

Pasalamat nga ang aborigines na ‘to at merong forgiving heart si Ms. Claire dela Fuente.

For if not, baka pinasagasaan na sa pison ang malodorous vaklung na ‘to. Hahahahahaha!

Gayahin mo si Ms. Claire, gurang na iliteradang bakla. Good karma kaya kahit na ano pang kademonyohan ang ga- win ng kanyang mga detractors ay nananatili siyang up and about and thriving ang career.

Kita n’yo naman si Bela, bonggacious ang rating ng Hiram na Puso na napanonood araw-araw sa Afternoon Prime ng GMA.

Ikaw, kumusta ka naman? I’m sure naglulupa pa rin! Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

loading...

About Thor

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply