Namakla raw kaya hiniwalayan ng dyowa

HAHAHAHA! How amusing naman.

Imagine, ang pralaling kung bakit nagkahiwalay raw ang not-so-young actress na’to at ang kanyang foreigner boyfriend ay dahil sa individual and cultural differences raw.

Pinay siyempre ang chick at foreigner ang papable na ombre kaya at one point, meron silang mga hindi napagkakasunduan.

‘Yan ang tsika.

But how true that one of the main reasons why they parted ways was the presence of a third party?

May moneyed gay lover raw ang gwaping na foreign actor at ito ang pinagselosan nang husto ng not-so-young actress. Hahahahahahaha!

Siyempre naman, may mga needs rin ang foreign actor na kailangan niyang i-meet lalo na’t hindi naman kagandahan ang takbo ng kanyang career.

Pero blinded nga sa mga ganitong bagay ang not-so-young actress at feeling niya’y big faux pas ang nagawa ng foreign actor.

Well, kung ganyan kakitid ang utak niya, talaga ngang sa wala mauuwi ang kanilang relasyon.

Mahirap naman on the part of the foreign actor ang mag-survive solely on his own resources lalo na’t limitado naman ang roles na maaari niyang gampanan dahil sa inability niya to communicate in Tagalog.

He might be a veritable looker but he the problem lies in his inability to communicate well in Tagalog.

‘Yun ang kanyang biggest liability.

But then, may asset naman siya at ‘yun ang naisipan niyang gamitin in the name of survival.

Kawawa naman.

Pero siyempre, super inggit ang mga vaklungs sa sugar daddy niya dahil que sabroso nga naman ang itzu ng foreign actor. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang siyete, sooo haba and oh, soooo taba raw talaga. Halhakhak!

Naku, if I know tilam-tilam to-the-max raw ang halitosis-infested ang kavivigang si Joey ‘Supot’ de Cashtro.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Ito kasing baklang halimaw na ingratang ito ay addicted sa mga lalaki pero wala namang pumatol sa kanya at pinandidirihan talaga dahil sa kanyang foul-smelling breath. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Yuck! How so baboy the old vakla! Hahahahahahaha!

Ang panget-panget na nga, supot pa, duldol-infested pa ang katawan.

Super yucky! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

***

Walang sincerity kaya dinidedma

KAHIT daw ano’ng text ni Cristine Reyes ay deadma sa kanya ang older sis niyang si Ara Mina.

Dapat lang!

Feel na feel naman daw kasi ng utol ni Menang na very much wanting of sincerity ang babaeng feeling sakdal-linis, soooo rami rin naman ang skeletons in her closet, why should she pay any scant attention? Hahahahahaha!

Sana raw, bago inakusahan ng babaeng feeling unblemished ang kanyang reputation (unblemished raw ang reputation, o! Hahahahaha!) ay nanalamin muna siya para maliban sa kanyang yosi-kadiring cellulites ay nakita niya ang iba pa niyang pagkakamali.

Oo nga naman.

Alangan namang pagkatapos niyang urat-uratin si Ara at sirain ang dignidad nito, magti-text lang siya ay okay na silang bigla. Hahahahahaha!

Ang cheap!

No way!

Maglakad ka muna nang paluhod sa Quiapo at pagsisihan ang amoy burak mong pag-uugali at baka mapatawad ka pa!

Huwag ka kasing nagpi-feeling sakdal-linis dahil the skeletons in your closet are infinitely brimming with in- discretions and repugnant wrongdoings.

Lumingon ka sa nagawa ng Ate Ara mo sa mukha mong dati-rati’y tsakadu at kulang sa ganda.

Remember nu’ng time na StarStruck babe ka pa and was under contract with GMA7? Hindi nga ba’t no pansin ka sa mga otaw roon for the simple reason that you reeked with kabaduyan and the word cheap was visibly etched on your physiognomy, they didn’t find you any promising at all? Hahahahahahaha!

Kapalistik ang fezlak mo, ning!

Umayos ka bago ka malaos!

***

Einar & Victor ebony and ivory

TAKE your pick guys. If you want your man dusky-skinned and infinitely attractive in a moreno sort of way, its Victor Basa for your with his lean body and succulent bulge.

Hahahahahahaha!

Otherwise, if you go for the male Lolita type, it’s Einar Engebrigsten for you with his wholesome smile and in -viting svelte body. Hahahahahahaha!

Go!

As always, bawal magtikol! Hahahahahahaha!

***

Bel-Airs Pasinaya, The 19TH Annual Edition

IT STARTED out as nothing but a lark but through the years, Bel-Air’s Pasinaya has evolved into something more meaningful and challenging.

“Before when we started,” Barangay Captain Nene Lichauco elucidates. “we were content to think that we were not pros, that we were just having fun.

“Now, the spirit has changed,” she asseverates. “We want to be good. We want to be perfect!

“I guess when the younger people joined in, they brought a different kind of energy to the show.

“So, as early as three months before, regular rehearsals are being held and everyone attends.

“Everyone wants to be polished. No more ‘maski-pops’ attitude!”

“We wanted to be in sync,” butts in Travel Time host Susan Calo Medina who is the show’s head creative honcho. “So, we took the slogan and turned it around.

“This year,” she adds in earnest,” we proclaim Bel-Air is number one in fun!

“We wanted a modern, funky yet Pinoy spirit, so we are using Pinoy komiks as a peg for our VTRs.

“But since fun is really about living in the here and now, the show has numbers that borrow from Broadway, from Pop, from Original Pilipino Music, from 70s Disco even!”

The May 6 showcase will culminate the three-day Pasinaya which begins on May 4.

The Gabi ng Kasambahay highlights the otherwise hidden talents of the household help that they get to employ.

Meron ding fashion show where all their models are residents.

The entire 3-day festivities feature a big bazaar, a food festival, a pet show, plus a big bingo social.

“Number one in fun talaga!” says the Kapitana with ostensible pride.

Actor Jericho Rosales will be gracing the show, along with other talents.

***

Kanila na ang mga award na ‘yan!

‘DI NAMAN that particular ang Queenstar for all Seasons na si Ms. Vilma Santos kaya ibigay na nila kung kanino nila gustong ibigay ang National Artist award na ‘yan at ‘di naman naghahabol ang Batangas lady governor.

Ano ba? Why are these people making such a big fuss? Why make a mountain out of a mole hill?

Kung si Nora Aunor ang dapat, so be it!

Otherwise, if its tito Dolphy that they want to honor, so much the better!

Ate Vi has had her own share of awards for the past few months, immaterial na kung di sa kanya mapunta ang National Artist award na ‘yan.

Jesus H. Christ! What do these people want?

Hindi naman nakikipagpatayan si Ate Vi sa nasabing award dahil aware siya na there’s such a thing as perfect timing for everything.

Kung ‘di napunta sa kanya ngayon, honey, she can have it at the most opportune time.

Kaya maglabu-labo na kayo riyan and the seasoned actress won’t even budge or lift a finger to be a part of this hullabaloo. Hahahahahahaha!

Period!

***

Gustong lumaya para mapagbigyan ang totoong hilig (Hahahahaha)

INTRIGERA talaga ang mga entertainment writers. Kapag nagkikita-kita sila, umaatikabong tsismisan ang nangyayari.

At isa sa mga paboritong pag-usapan lately ay ang hiwalayan blues ng isang kontrobersyal na personalidad sa kanyang misis na gandara namang tunay at sosyal!

Anyway, bakit nga ba sila naghiwalay gayung ang sabi noo’y made in heaven raw ang kanilang union?

Ang tsika, may other personality raw ang lalaking personalidad at ito raw ang main reason kung bakit gusto niyang lumaya. Hahahahahahaha!

Kaaliw!

Double blade pala si papa at ang sabi, mas nagiging dominant na raw ang aspetong girlalu nito. Hahahahaha!

Could it be true? Hahahahahaha!

Sayang si papa, may arrive pa naman at sex appeal. Hahahahaha!

No further comments!

***

Empress at Ejay dinumog sa Bicol!

PINAGKAGULUHAN kamakailan ng mga Bicolano ang mga bida ng Mundo Man ay Magunaw na sina Empress at Ejay Falcon sa pagdayo ng Kapamilya Karavan sa Magayon Festival sa Legazpi City, Albay.

Pinuno ng halos pitong libong fans ang Albay Astrodome para sa pagtitipon na inorganisa ng ABS-CBN Regional Network Group. Nagpasaya, nakipag-bonding, at nagpasalamat sina Empress at Ejay sa lahat ng masugid na sumusuporta sa kanilang de-kalibreng Kapamilya Gold teleserye.

Samantala, sa pagpapatuloy ng kuwento ng Mundo Man ay Magunaw, hindi na maikukubli pa ang katotohanan sa tunay na pagkato ng magkapatid na Sheryl (Empress) at Jenny (Nikki).
Anong gagawin ni Donya Alicia (Tessie Tomas) kapag nalaman niyang hindi patay ang apo niyang si Bianca at hindi niya tunay na kadugo si Jenny? Matanggap kaya ni Jenny na ang inaakala niyang pinsan ay ang tunay na tagapagmana ng mga La Peña? Huwag palampasin ang kuwento ng mag-iinang Olivia (Eula Valdes), Sheryl, at Jenny sa Mundo Man ay Magunaw, araw-araw, pagkatapos ng It’s Showtime sa Kapamilya Gold ng ABS-CBN.

Para sa karagdagang impormasyon, mag-log on sa www.abs-cbn.com, sundan ang @abscbndotcom sa Twitter, o i-‘like’ ang Facebook fanpage ng show na  http://facebook.com/mundoman- ay magunaw.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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