Ferminata Lukresya numero unong birador na ni Piolo Pascual

HAHAHAHA!

How idiotically funny this aging Ferminata is.

Imagine, dati-rati, and this was before when she was still working for ABS CBN and was one of the staunch sup- porters of Mr. Piolo Pascual, ngangera y gurangga would write glowing reviews about the guy and was always there to be his knight in shinging armor when petty intrigues would come his way and he was badly in need of succor. Hahahahahahaha!

Noon talaga, lagi na’y nadepensa ang tsakitang gurang (trasikatang gurang daw, o! Hakhakhak!). Lagi na’y meron siyang justification sa lahat ng ginagawa ni Papa P. Hahahahahahaha!

Papano’y nahahatak niya sa mga oka-okasyn at natitiwangga, kundi man honorarium lang, ang gibzung niya sa kanyang show raket.
Hahahahahahaha!

How thick-skinned can you get!

Anyhow, now that Piolo’s no longer the fair-haired boy he was who would be most accommodating to her requests, nganga makes it appear as if he’s the most ungrateful human being this side of Hollywood.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Day after day, she does nothing but hurl invectives and say the most derogatory things about him in her cheap, attack and collect columns.

Cheap! Over sa pagka-cheeeaaaappp!

Lately, she’s hellbent in making it appear that Piolo’s movie with Angelica Panganiban is supposedly an abysmal flop!

Hahahahahahahahaha!

How doltish can you get!

Ang flop ay ang Juiceless na showbiz-oriented talksow mo na magmula ikaw ang umupo, pinagwelgahan nang talaga ng mga otaw dahil diring-diri sila sa kapangitan mo at sa ‘yong parang nagngangangang paghu-host. Hahahahahaha!

Galit ka lang kay Piolo, pinalalabas mo ng tatatlo kunu-kuno ang tao sa loob ng sinehan?

Baka ang ibig mong sabihin, guranggang tsaka, ay tatatlo na lang ang viewers n’yo sa super tsakang way past midnight na show ninyo na pinandidirihan na talagang panoorin ng sanlibutan.

Hahahahahaha!

Wala na kasing ka-sense-sense, makikita pa ang tiyan mong parang ten months (ten months raw talaga, o! Hahahahaha!) pregnant.
Harharhar!

Ayokkkooooooh! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

***

ANG PAGKAKAIBA NI ATE VI!

Moviestars are dime a dozen but there’s only one Vilma Santos when you speak of sincerity and humility.

“Iba talaga si Ate Vi,” so says former movie scribe Willie who’s now back in GenSan taking care of his nephew because his parents went to the States to work. “Siya ang tanging artista na may panahon sa kanyang mga fans na siya mismo ang sumasagot ng text.

“Pag nagtext ako sa kanya, may reply agad at umaabot pa kami sa palitan ng text,” he avers.

“Touching na mag-text ang idolo mo na sasabihin sa ‘yong, ‘I love you and take care.’

“Minsan, magti-text ‘yan na,’I’m here in Batangas. Back to work.’

“O kaya, ‘Pagod ako Willie. 4 a.m. na ako nakauwi.’

“Feel mo talaga ang kanyang sincerity at pagiging tunay na tao at friend at the same time.

“Lahat ng messages niya, di ko dini-delete sa inbox kaya naman umabot na sa 108 lahat.

“Masarap magmahal si Ate Vi,” he further asseverates. “Idolo ko talaga siya and my inspiration.

“Kita mo naman,” he furhter elaborates. “nadaragdagan pa lalo ang Vilmanian globally.

“Ang mga Batangueno naman,” he further relates,”talagang mahal na mahal siya. Mga kapwa-artista, gusto siyang makatrabaho mapa-senior or young stars.”

Kahit nga mga kapwa politiko ay bow kay Ate Vi at darling of the press and producers siya.

Tama!

Ang komontra, magiging dead ringer ni Bubonika! Hahahahahahaha!

***

DATING SIKAT NA DANCER, MUKHANG ALELI ABADILLA NA NG BROWN-SKINNED HUNK ACTOR! (HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Dahil tapos na ang panahon nila sa pagsasayaw, ‘yung pinaka-leader nga nila’y nag-give-up na rin sa show business dahil na-disenchant sa shabby treatment na binibigay sa kanya considering that he became a big-named personality duirng his time, (Hahahahahahaha!) nag-branch out na lang into talent management ang isa sa kanila.

“Siya ang aligagang-aligaga sa show ng kanyang alaga (an appealingly hunky brown-skinned actor who’s now smug with his position at the rival network of the network he once was a talent of) sa isang mall at ever ready nasundin ang lahat ng requests ng kanyang alaga.” (Hahahahahahaha! how sweet!)

After three songs, senyas raw agad ang hunk actor sa kanyang eager-to-please na road manager na need niya ng water at presto! run agad ang dating paparu na ngayo’y parang mama na.

Hahahahahahaha!

Heto pa, dahil di raw kalakasan ang air-conditioning unit ng mall, pawisang-pawisan siyempre ang papa and who would be most concerned for his welfare but the eager-to-please road manager? Hahahahaha!

How sweet! Hakhakhak!

Talaga raw aligagang-aligaga ito sa pagtutok ng electric fan sa hunk actor, samantalang ang dami namang staff ru’n na puedeng utusan. Hahahahahahahaha!

Nu’ng tapos na ang show, hawi boy naman ang papel nito samantalang may escort naman ang katilam-tilam na hunk. Ahahahay!

Could this be love?

Love raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha!

“You know what I’m trying to insinuate,” our source emotes,”ang napuna ko kasi parang talu-talo rin sila tulad ni Papa Abe.
(Ganon? Hahahahahaha!)

“Uso ‘yan sa showbiz, devah?

“Tanong, sino ang badichi, ‘yung road manager o ‘yung gwaping na morenong aktor? Hahahahahahaha!

“‘Yung road manager, I think!

“Joskoh! kaya naman pala ganon lang ang concern niya.

“Kunsabagay, mas gwapo at young ang hunk actor in person compared sa TV or pics niya.

“At mukhang makatas!” he adds with a lascivious leer.
Hahahahahahaha!

Corrected by! Superfab naman talaga in person ang hunk actor and looking young talaga with his slim build and fabulous outfits.

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