Ferminata nagmakaawa sa bangko gamit ang namezung ni Pareng Willie!

HAHAHAHAHA! Nagtagumpay pala si Ferminatang huwag matigok ang mga walang kamatayang paintings niya sa Mga Obra ni Tsaka dahil nagmakaawa supposedly sa bangko ang wrangler at plastikadang matrona using her protege’s (Willie Revillame) name.

Wais talaga ang burukang ito. Hahahaha! Imagine, nakaligtas na naman sa foreclosure ng bangko ang kanyang mga paintings by way of her fabled kaplastikan. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, disillusioned sa pagiging user ni Lola Fermi ang isang dating entertainment ed na kaibigan namin.

“Dati, tungang, anak ang tawag sa akin niyan (Lola Fermi) nu’ng buhay pa ang tabloid na ini-edit ko,” he openly laments,”Ngayon, dini-deadma na ako. Hahahahahahaha!

“Mula ngayon, tungang, gagayahin ko ang attitude mo,” he points out in earnest. “Mabait sa mga taong mabait pero deadma sa mga plastic sa show business. ”

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Dapat lang!

Anyway, nuknukan talaga sa pagiging user itong lomodic na si Lola Fermi.

Many years ago, when the tabloid our friend (this was not the first friend we mentioned earlier) was editing was infinitely hot and was selling like the proverbial hotcake, tsakistic Fermi, typical of her duplicitous persona, was most cow-towing and ingratiating. Hahahahahaha!

Ang kapallllllll!

Kapag nagsa-submit ng kanyang cheap Tagalistic column na Tagalog na nga’y mali-mali pa ang grammar (Hahaha!), may mga sweet nothings pa siyang ini-incorporate rito.

Kiyeme-kiyemeng nagki-care raw siya. Alagaan daw ni Mother ang health nito at medyo pakaiwasan ang paninigarilyo at pag-inom ng alak.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Cheap!

Pero saan ka, nang mawala na sa tabloid na kanyang ini-edit ang kaibigan namin, biglang lumabas ang tunay na kulay ng guranggang bungalyang ito (bungalya raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) at ni ha, ni ho, ay ‘di na nakatitikim ang aming former editor. Hahahahahaha!

Kaya ‘yung ginawa niya sa aming entertainment ed (the new one) na amigo ay reprise na lang ng kababuyang ginawa niya sa namayapa na naming kaibigan. Hahahahahahaha!

User talaga ang ngetpalites na ‘to!

Hindi lang panlabas na anyo ang tsaka sa kanya, lalo na ang kaloob-looban ng kanyang menudensya.

No wonder, dinadapurak siya ng bad karma lately.

Hayan at nasa graveyard shitf na ang walang kakatas-katas nilang showbiz oriented program at ‘yung isa naman, ‘di na malaman kung saang araw ilalagay. Hakhakhak!

Karmatic talaga ang duldulic na ‘to. Hahahahahahaha!

Dapat lang, noh? Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Juan Garcia is controversial!

HAHAHAHAHA! Sandamukal pala ang Juan Garcia sa internet.

But the Juan Garcia we are alluding to happens to be Mr. Spain for the year 2006 who eventually bagged the title Mr. World 2007 and not the guy who beat his live-in two-year old son to death.

Anyway, savor his machismo to the full by way of this mouth-watering photo of his. Hahahahahaha!

***

Hindi ba happy si Kuya?

GABI-GABI naming pinanonood ang top-rating soap na ‘to sa isang sikat na network.

At lagi na, aming napupunang the matinee idol of twenty years ago has considerable aged while her favorite leading-lady has awesomely maintained her appealing good looks.

Why is that so?

Hindi ba happily married si Kuya?

In stark contrast, the not-so-young actress looks youthful and drop dead gorgeous!

Por que?

Well, it’s hard to become too presumptuous but it appears that the aging actor hasn’t found the kind of happiness and contentment that his fave leading-lady of 20 years ago has been able to find.

May ganon? Hahahahahahaha!

No further comments!

***

Iba kapag goal-oriented at matino ang pag-iisip

MARAMI ang nagtataka kung bakit parang hindi na raw articulate (even in Tagalog, huh?) ang aktres na ‘to na matagal ding nakaeksena ng premyadong aktres na si Queenstar Vilma Santos.

Sa recent guesting kasi nito bilang hurado sa isang well-followed TV program, parang hindi na gumagana ang kanyang pag-iisip at hirap na hirap magbigay ng comment sa mga contestant, it came to a point when she really could not give any comment at all. Hahahahahaha!

In stark contrast, Ate Vi is always ready to comment on any subject matter under the sun and is perennially the paradigm of tact and good mind.

‘Yan kasi ang pagkakaiba kapag wholesome ang iyong lifestyle, palaging on the go ang iyong pag-iisip.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Kapag mahilig ka kasing magbisyo, pumupurol ang utak at nagiging stagnant ito.

Kaya gayahin natin ang isang taong matino ang takbo ng pag-iisip dahil iwas-bisyo at hindi tomotoma ng alak kundi social drinking lang at the most.

Si Ate Vi, sino pa ba? Hahahahahaha!

Kita n’yo naman, at an age when most women are already problematic with their looks and sagging body, Ms. Vilma is still the picture of a beauty and unfading youth.

At dahil walang bisyo kundi magbasa during her spare time, she is articulate and equipped with a good mind.

‘Yun na!

Laban ka? Hahahahahahahaha!

***

Imbudo pero ‘di makalimutan ang que sabrosong nota! (Hahahaha!)

NAKATATAWA naman ang mga intriga sa not-so-young actress/teevee host na ‘to.

Ang tsika, imbudo raw talaga siya sa mga ginawa ng isang not-so-young but hunky actor na tipong feeling daw niya’y pinaglaruan lang siya.

Ang sabi, every bit of her soul is supposedly craving for the kind of justice that she deserves.

Ang kaso, contradictory ang feelings niya.

A part of her would crave for justice while the other part is still hopelssly in love with him. Hahahahahaha!

Nalaman na nga niya ang katotohanan pero hindi pa rin niya magawang kamuhian nang buung-buo ang dating papa na deep inside ay alam niyang mama rin. Hahahahahahahaha!

How gross!

Ang totoo niyan, with all the men running after her, she could not completely eradicate their intimate moments, along with those haunting memories of blissful nights of intimacy.

Pinipilit niyang kalimutan pero lagi na’y ramdam niya ang notes payable ni papa (papa raw talaga, o! Hakhakhak!) na medyo discolored (discolored daw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!) pero soo taba and oohhh, sooo haba. Hahahahaha!

Tienes na closet queen daw si papa pero in the few occasions that they did it together, ramdam daw talaga niya ang intensity nito in bed. Hahahahahahaha!

She was not a vestal virgin when they met and yet, his penis was so palpably huge, she could still feel it going through her vaginal opening down deep into her very soul. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sayang na kadakuan, daku rin daw kasi ang hanap ni papa. Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Claire’s businee is unstoppable!

MAY Mida’s touch talaga si Ms. Claire dela Fuente when it comes to the kind of business that she gets into.

Imagine, itong ikalawang resto niya sa Macapagal Avenue in Pasay City ay talaga namang walang nagkakainteres nu’ng una dahil ang tingin nila ay hindi maganda ang magiging outcome kung dito sila magtatayo ng negosyo.

Pero iba nga ang foresight ni Ms. Claire. Pinagana niya ang kanyang intrinsic creativity at artistry and not for long, the place that was being avoided like the plague by most people is now well patronized by people from all walks of life.

Esekola, di ba naman? Hahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Kaya kahit marami ang nang-iintriga sa kanya, born survivor talaga si Ms. Claire.

Dekada na nga ang binilang pero in na in pa rin ang triumvirate nila nina Eva Eugenio at Imelda Papin.

***

Kaaliw ang Pasinaya 2012

FESTIVITIES such as this I only get to see in Bicol where I grew up.

Doon talaga, pag sinabing fiesta, di ba tulad dito sa ka-Maynilaan na parang nagdaraan lang na ‘di gaanong napapansin o napagtotoonan nang pansin.

But the people of Bel-Air totally belong to a different stripe.

They know what enjoyment is all about and they are not one bit aloof or snobbish.

Kung tutuusin, rica-rica ang mga tao rito and it shows in the kind of jewelry that they get to wear at the culmination of their four-day festivities.

But what made them totally different is the fact that they are not one bit snobbish and are veritable fun to be with.

‘Di na ako nagulat sa dance number nina Madam Susan Calo Medina and her group of feisty ladies, along with the nostalgic number contributed by the classy dames and their gentlemen partners of Bel-Air.

Ang ikinagulat kong talaga ay ang daring and almost baring number ng mga young men ng nasabing lugar na con mucho gusto talaga kung magsipaggilingan at balak pa yatang talunin ang mga macho dancers ng Timog Ave. Hahahahaha!

Indeed, they know how to let their hair down when the occasion calls for it and I tremendously enjoyed their sexy dance number.

Oh-lalaaaaa! Hahahahahahahaha!

In its totality, kaaliw talaga ang Pasinaya 2012 ng Bel-Air as spearheaded by Mr. Eriberto de Guzman (BAVA President) and the very gregarious Barangay captain of the said place Tita Nene Constancia Q. Lichauco.

Executive producer nga pala ng nasabing presentation ang idol namin sa TV hosting na si Madam Susan calo Medina, producer si Tita Constancia Lichauco at writer/director si Direk Floy Quintos.

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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