Hitsura ng hosto kay papa (Hahahahahaha!)

LIVE-IN na silang dalawa. I mean, ang brown-skinned dancer/actress na ‘to na noo’y nagrireyna sa production outfit ng manager niyang purdoy na sa ngayon dahil daw sa bisyo.

Sad naman. Mabait naman kasi ang kanyang dating lady manager na ang siyete’y nalulong daw sa sugal.

Anyhow, the dancer/actress is now under a new talent management and indications point to the fact that she’s doing well, albeit, not as fabulous as before.

Whatever, happiness seems to be perpetually etched on her gypsy-looking face.

Ang siyete, live-in na raw ang thirtyish na dancer/actress at ang object ng kanyang affection ay isang male starlet na mukhang arabo ang dating.

Mukhang Arabo raw ang dating, o! Hahahahahahahaha! At kapag Arabo, you already know the salient point I’m hinting at. Hahahahahahahaha!

Appetizingly daks siya siyempre. Hahahahahahaha!

No wonder, our subject is ostensibly smug about her situation in the business even if her career is visibly far from its former sparkle and status.

Pa’no naman, super happy si mama sa bonggacious na sex life niya sa piling ni papa.Hahahahaha!

Say ng mga tsismosa, pagdating daw ng morenang dancer/singer/actress from her physically tiring taping session, naka-ready na raw ang lafang courtesy of her very ideal lover.

After eating, it’s time for her to eat a different kind of dish, but not after papa has given her a sensuous massage. Hahahahahahahaha!

Siyempre naman, while she’s being massaged, naka-t-back lang daw si papa at prominent talaga ang bukol ng katilam-tilam na crotch nito (ooohlalaaaaah! Hahahahaha!) na nagpapawala siyempre sa stress ni mama sa magdamagang taping na kadalasa’y inaabot ng madaling araw.


Tired as she is with her enervating job, all tension and fatigue would vanish on thin air with her lover’s expert hands that sinuously rejuvenates her tired body and heavily fatigued mind.

Siyempre, ang finale ay pussy eating churva.

Pussy eating churva raw, o! Hahahahahahaha!

Natatawag daw talaga lahat halos ng santo ng girlalu lalo na’t at work na talaga ang probing tongue ni papa sa kanyang clitz. Hahahahahaha!

Now you know the reason why this woman appears to be too complacent and does not have any complain with her life at the moment. With her lover around to keep her moving and on her toes when the goings get rough, what does she need other men for? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Dakota na (tsalap!tsalap!tsalap! Hahahahaha!), gwapo pa, que sabroso pa kung romomansa.


‘Yun na!


Carlo Lopez hot hunk!

HE’S a certified Pinoy and no foreign blood whatsoever but Carlo Lopez is gorgeously well-endowed. Hahaha!

Most faggots from all walks of life would want to meet with him for the kind of purpose that you guys have in mind. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, he dreams of becoming an actor and I have this hunch that it’s going to become a reality if only he would be patient enough to wait for the big break that would catapult him to stardom.

Enjoy him but as always, bawal magtikol! Hakhakhak!


Filipino stars shine in The Road’s U.S. red carpet premiere!

AT 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday, May 9 (U.S. time), the stars of GMA Films’ 2011 horror film The Road walked down the red carpet and posed for the foreign media covering the film’s Hollywood Red Carpet Premiere held at the majestic ArcLight Theater in Los Angeles, California.

The Yam Laranas film, which received rave reviews from both the local and foreign press and even caught the attention of the New York Times, is set to be commercially released in the U.S. and Canada beginning May 11 (May 12 in the Philippines ) through a distribution deal between GMA Films and US-based film distribution company Freestyle Releasing.

Among those in attendance were cast members Marvin Agustin, Rhian Ramos, Alden Richards, and Derrick Monasterio together with GMA Films President Anna Teresa Gozon-Abrogar, Freestyle Presidents Susan Jackson and Mark Borde, GMA Films Project Director Joey Abacan, and the film director Yam Laranas.

Also present were Congressman and Boxing’s Pound-for-Pound King Manny Pacquiao, MTRCB Chair Grace Poe Llamanzares, GMA Entertainment TV Vice President Marivin Arayata, GMA Entertainment TV Asst. Vice President Redgie Magno, GMA Corporate Communications Asst. Vice President Angel Javier-Cruz, and host Tim Yap.

After the premiere screening of The Road, an after party was held at The Lure, a club beside Arclight Theater.

Prior to the red carpet premiere, GMA Films and Freestyle Releasing held a press conference on May 8 at the Barrio Fiesta Restaurant in Glendale, Los Angeles. It was attended by representatives from US-based Filipino media outfits.

Apart from the U.S., The Road will also be shown in selected theaters in Singapore beginning May 15.

Talks between GMA Films and other film releasing companies are also underway for possible distribution of The Road in other countries.

The Road premiered in the Philippines in November 2011.


Bulong Halimaw behave na raw! (Let’s see!)

SINCE ma-meet namin si Bulong HaLimaw sa presscon ni Sarah Geronimo kamakailan, things have considerably improved in as far as our status at GMA7 is concerned.

For one, after months of ignoring Peter L. and I, we were suddenly invited to become one of the panelists for Ang Pinaka na dati-rati’y paborito kaming i-guest.


Sabi ng ilang well-meaning friends namin, it’s more than about time that we supposedly bury the hatchet and forget our ill-feelings towards Bulong Halimaw. Hahahahahahahaha!

Depende siguro ‘yun.’

I wouldn’t act hastily this time and would see for myself if BH has already changed and is no longer the diabolical matrona who’s standing in the way of my career’s advancement.

Anyway, going back to Ms. Sarah, flattered siya sa comparison between her and Jessica Sanchez but she doesn’t agree with the observation of the lesbian writer that she looks a lot better as compared to the latest singing sensation in the U.S. of A.

“Maganda naman po siya,” she avers.

Mas maganda pa sa kanya? follow up ng intrigerang lesbianang writer.

“Opo!” she chimes in. “Gandang-ganda ako sa kanya!”


Kahit ano’ng sabihin ng tibong kolumnista, wah talaga pagka-agree ang gandarang anak ni Mommy Divine na nakatakdang magkaroon ng pabolosang concert sa Araneta Coliseum on July 7, 2012 kung saan she’ll be showcasing her other side as a fashion plate.

Talagang mga eskalerang gowns ang kanyang isusuot dito na talaga namang ikagigitla (naka-relate ka ba, Lola Fermi with the kind of words that I’m using? take note, I’m not doltish like you.. salitang ugat ang inuulit! Hahahahaha!) ng balana.

Are you happy that I made use of some of the words that you love to use in your cheaply written columns? Hahahahaha!

Mag-diet ka at baka matumba ka na lang bigla dahil sa katakawan mo. Hakhakhak!

Ayoko ng pangeeetttttt!

Mag-quit ka na sa shows mo dahil hopeless case ka na. Hahahahahahahaha!

Better sell some panutsa, baka kumita ka pa! Hahahahahahaha!

Teka, bakit ba na-carried away na naman ako sa ka-cheap-an ni Lola Fermi? Hahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, hindi pa man, nakasisiguro na kaming blockbuster na naman ang forthcoming birthday concert ni Sarah G. sa Big Dome.

Period. Ayoko ng chakaaaaah! Hahahahahaha!


Parami nang parami ang humahanga kay Ate Vi!

SA DAMI ng nagti-text at nagpapakita ng concern lately kay Governor Vilma Santos Recto, you’ll have the impression that it’s the 70s once again. Iba talaga ang kanyang staying power. Vilmanians all over the world are once again hyperactive and are, concomitantly, too excited to show their kind of unfading devotion to their unfadingly beautiful idol.

Imagine, ‘yung mga fans niyang OFWs are going back to our country just to pay her a visit in the faraway Batangas.

‘Yung iba naman, tutok na tutok sa activities niya sa Batangas at aliw na aliw sa kakaibang commitment niya sa kanyang mga constituents.

So far, marami rin ang waiting with bated breath sa The Healing na pinagbibidahan din nina Kim Chiu, Janice de Belen, Pokwang at marami pang iba.

Under the direction of the multi-awarded director Chito Ronio, May 31 na (it falls on a Thursday) ang last shooting day nito.

In the meantime, nasa production stage na ang isang coffee table book at isang TV special na inihahanda ng Star network para sa 50th anniversary in show business ng ating Queenstar.



Ang tindi ng improvement ng Wonder Gays!

NANG maimbitahan kami ni Danny Batuigas sa concert ng Wonder Gays sa Zirkoh, Tomas Morato, ‘di kami masyadong nag-i-expect na effect ang show na aming mapanonood.

After all, we’ve seen the group do some shows in the past and apart from Gray’s terrific vocal skills and Black’s comedic ability, wala na kaming masasabi pa.

But the group, much to our surprise, has admittedly tremendously improved.

Kahit nga ang isang okray kung kumantang kagrupo nila ay tolerable na rin ang performance. Hahahahahaha!

As a whole, the show was truly rivetingly good. ‘Di napahiya ang manager nilang si Lito de Guzman na birthday boy pa naman nang gabing ‘yun.


Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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