Nalaos nang wala sa panahon dahil kay Jessica!

DATI-RATI, Charice Pempengco’s career as an artist was definitely blooming in the States.

Her participation at the musical “Glee” was a big feather to her cup as the first Filipina ever to have accomplished such feat.

But somewhere along the way, something must have gone wrong, her promising career in the States appears to have plummeted and is now practically non-existent.

Why is that so?

Nawalan na ba ng gana si Oprah Winfrey para i-push ang kanyang career or did she get to discover something not altogether pleasant in as far as Charice’s attitude is concerned?

Oh, well, mukhang out na nga siya sa graces ng globally famous TV personality dahil sa Pinas na lang siya naglalagi lately at wala na tayong nababalitaang proyektong naka-line-up sa kanya roon.

Of course Charice happens to be a fantastic singer but she must have done something that has totally pissed off the otherwise most supportive Oprah.

Lately, lalo pang na-sideline ng popularity ni Jessica Sanchez ang aandap-andap ng career ng lengua na raw (could it be true, Lola Fermi? Has she taken after your ignominious money-grabbing AC/DC persona? Hahahahahahaha!) na si Charice. Hahahahahahaha!

Oh, well, all roads lead to Jessica lately and she’s definitely the hottest Pinay entertainer in the US of A.

Inasmuch as she’s (Jessica) not that comely altogether, she has charm and charisma and the belting ability of Charice plus a lot more!

Well, ganyan talaga. Weather-weather lang ‘yan and it’s palpably Jessica’s time to shine and hug centerstage lately.

Ang standing joke nga, baka raw maging Cheapendale performer na lang si Phillip Phillips dahil his musicality definitely pales in comparison with our kababayan’s tremendous vocal skills.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, mukhang daks naman at super flawless itong si Phillip Phillips, bagay na bagay nga siya roon in the event that he fails to make it as an entertainer. Hahahahahahahaha!

Joke!

***

Masarap mamahal si Ate Vi!

FROM day to day, we are inundated with some biting commentaries from people who have nothing better to do than to harp venomously about our supposed devotion to the Queenstar for all seasons Ms. Vilma Santos.

Kahit naman daw kasi ‘yung most besotted entertainment writer kay Ate Vi ay hindi naman araw-araw na sinusulat ang multi-awarded actress in the field of politics and the movies as well.

Keber n’yo ba?

Why are you becoming so affectedly bitchy?

Unang-una, circulation booster ang Batangas lady governor. Araw-araw ay walang sawang bumibili ang kanyang mga avid Vilmanians ng ating tabloid and they text us to keep us posted.

Secondly, I love writing about her in the sense that I know the little effort that emanates from me is being inordinately appreciated.

Hindi rin siya mahirap isulat dahil she’s bursting with activities that are being lapped up with such unadulterated relish by her Vilmanians all over the world.

Sa totoo, nakatatanggap kami ng mga text messages from her adoring fans from different countries and places and it gives us that complete feeling of fulfillment.

Kapag nagkita naman kami ni Ate Vi, her smile alone speaks volumes.

Ang tagal-tagal ko na sa industriyang ito but this is the first time that I met a global personality who knows how to show appreciation with the little things that I can do for her.

And for us, that’s more than enough.

Period!

***

Ogie Alcasid, eskalera ang dating bilang Boy Pick-up!

NAPAKA-POSITIVE ng aura ni Ogie Alcasid bilang Boy Pick-Up.

In the many years that I’ve known him, he’s consistently rivetingly good as a performer but I would say that he’s delineation of the character Boy Pick-Up at Bubble Gang happens to be totally absorbing and interesting.

Kumbaga, nabigyan niya ng flavor ‘yung character na basically unique.

‘Yung iba niya kasing characters on teevee, absorbing as these may be, pero parang take-off pa rin sa kanyang by now ay very famous na Ogie Alcasid persona.

Pero itong newly concatenated na Boy Pick-Up character sa Bubble Gang, I would say that it’s something novel and interesting.

Imagine, kahit late na umiere ang Bubble Gang, my daughter Christine would patiently wait until it’s time for Ogie’s character to hug centerstage.

May kakaibang flavor kasi ito na naka-a-amuse at riveting in some ways.

Hahahahahahahaha!

No wonder, nagka-idea ang GMA at Regal na i-transform ang kakaibang character na ‘to sa silver screen dahil may kakaibang arrive nga at unique ang delineation ni Mr. Alcasid.

Anyway, Ogie’s being surrounded in this movie with beautiful and attractive women whom he claims to be highly¬† intelligent as well.

At any rate, Solenn Heussaff’s role calls for someone very attractive. But in the course of their shooting, he was able to discover how wacky and zany she is.

“Si Sam (Pinto) naman ang tipong kalolokohan ng mga lalake,” Ogie intones.

Kakaiba raw ang ganda at freshness nitong na-capture talaga in full sa kanilang movie ni Direk Dominic Zapa-ta.

As usual, kabatuhan siya ni Ogie sa kanilang mga pick-up lines and their tandem works out so very well just like on teevee.

Feel na feel din ni Ogie na kasama si Gwen Zamora dahil ‘di lang daw ito maganda, cowboy pa at walang kaarte-arte sa katawan.

Sarah Labagan, on the other hand, happens to be a wonderful package of talent. She can sing, can act, can even do some stunts on the side plus a lot more.

“Pero si Dennis (Trillo) ang dapat n’yong panoorin dito,” Boy Pick-Up himself asseverates. “I commend his performance in this movie.

“‘Yung pagiging aktor niya, nagbi-blend sa comedy!” he adds still visibly raving.

Anyway, in Boy-Pick-Up, Ogie believes that they really have a winner.

“Bubble Gang has been here for 16 years already,” he says in earnest. “With Boy Pick-Up now becoming a movie, I think we have a winner.

“Bihira ‘yung movie na ganitong oo nga’t nagpapatawa ka pero on the side, may kwentong masusundan.

“The film is funny and hilarious,” he quips. “Ang bentahe ng isang proyekto ay ‘yung proyekto mismo.

“That’s my sales pitch!”

Fabulous!

It’s destined to explode on cinemas near you on June 6.

***

May importanteng project daw na gagawin…
Abortion! (Hahahaha!)

KATAWA naman ang reaction ng mga otaw sa chika ng isang gandarang personalidad na mawawala raw muna siya ng almost one month dahil may gagawin daw siyang special project sa Hollywood chuvanes.
Hahahahaha!

How outrageously funny naman.

And to think that she has the temerity to say that she has a Hollywood offer when Hollywood is not even aware of her presence. Hahahahahahahaha!

How infinitely funny!

Anyhow, ang chika, natesbun daw siya ng kanyang que sabroso ang itzu at very daks (daks raw talaga, o! Hahaha!) na papa.

Ikaw ba naman ang machurva almost on a regular basis, aren’t you going to become pregnant?

Hahahahaha!

Eh, hindi naman DOM ito at batang-bata kaya may arrive talaga ang semen.

May arrive raw talaga ang semen, o! Hakhakhakhak!

Ito naman kasing girlalu na ‘to ay talaga namang numero unong elyadora.

Gawin ba namang midnight snack ang jumbong ratbulites ng papa niya at early morning meal, saan ka pa?
Di matetesbun ka nga.

Buti kung tulad ‘yan sa ex niya before na sila-sila ang beauty at ‘di katigasan si manoy (di raw katigasan si manoy, o! Hahahahahaha!) kaya di siya napuruhan.

But we are talking about a veritable macho here replete with a throbbing and pulsating dick kaya na sureball si ate. Hahahahahahahahaha!

No further clues are needed. Syonga na lang ang di makahula.

Hahahahahahahaha!

***

William Levy, the last of the Mojicans!

HAHAHAHA! Ka-amuse ang tawag ng mga vaklushi sa pin-up hunk nating si William Levy. Dahil kumpletos rekados raw ito, the last of the Mojicans kung ito’y kanilang tawagin.

Karamihan daw kasi sa mga tangkaderong lalaki sa ngayon ay mga regular na lang ang tarugs and well-endowed men like him are now fast becoming extincts or rarities. Hahahahahahahaha!

In a way, true!

***

May aarive ang chemistry nina Coco at Angeline

MUKHANG panalo ang latest offering ng Star Cinema na “Born to Love You” kung saan bida sina Coco Martin at Angeline Quinto.

Oo nga’t may love angle rin ang promo pero ang tiyak na magdadala nito ay ang womderful chemisty nina Coco at Angeline na nakaa-amuse namang tunay.

Sa true, click na click ang pagiging dyologs ni Angeline sa medyo reserved pero easy to tickle na personalidad ni Coco.

Sa trailer palang, halata ng may chemistry ang dalawa bagama’t ‘di naman ang love angle ang binibenta ng movie.

No wonder, all out ang Star Cinema sa promo nito na palabas na sa mga sinehan on the 30th of May at may red carpet premiere sa SM Megamall on the 29th.

Anyhow, all indications point to the fact that the movie’s destined to be a winner.

Kaya naman alagang-alaga sila nina Sir Deo Endrinal (thanks so much for remembering us by, Sir Deo) at Sir Biboy Arboleda.

Potential monster hit nga ang project na ‘to, dapat lang na bigyan ng bonggang suporta.

‘Di ba naman, Sir Roxy Liquigan? Hahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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