Parang nang-uurat: Super daks ang ipinalit sa ex na mountain dew!

NAGTATAWANAN ang working press sa choice of men ng gandarang young actress na kamakailan ay talagang naging butt of jokes nang nakararami. Hahahahahahahaha!

Kung ano raw kasi ang niliit-liit ng size ng genitals ng kanyang ex (in fairness, cute naman at flawless.. Hahahahaha!), siya namang que largo grande ng bago niyang paparu.

Inasmuch as they seem to shun away from the prying eyes of the working press, it’s reportedly confirmed that this controversial young actress is having an intriguing relationship with this tall and fair-skinned Fil-Am guy who is just fresh from his break-up with his wife of many years who happens to be kind of neurotic. Hahahahaha!

Mukhang mga chicks na hard to deal with ang trip ng daks na ombre na ‘to. Hakhakhak!

But what’s greatly amusing is the fact that her new flame is taller and bigger in every way as compared to her old flame who seems not to get over with his intense feelings for the dick-hungry girl even if he’s in the company of equally attractive women. Hahahahahahaha!

But then, ang say naman ng kampo ng cutie guy, size may be admittedly might but there is such a thing as the power of one’s tongue, if you know the salient point I’m hinting at.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kabaliwed! Hakhakhak!

***

What’s a serious actor like Dennis Trillo doing in a wacky movie on pikapistas?

DENNIS Trillo is one actor who is known for his intense acting virtuosity.

Before the advent of Coco Martin and his ilk, there was Dennis who made a lot of people stood up and took notice of his awesome acting skills by way of the movie Aiste Mas (I don’t know if I spelled it right) and other memorable flicks that highlights his formidable acting skills.

For some reasons, his prodigious acting might have remained dormant but the respect has always been there.

Today, he’s a part of an exciting project (Boy Pick-Up: The Movie) that highlights his acting talent side by side with Ogie Alcasid’s wacky but sensible portrayal of the title role.

“Isa ito sa napakagandang nangyari sa career ko,” he enthuses at the presscon of the movie. “Seryosong kontrabida ako rito.

“Siyempre bilang artista,” he goes on further, “gusto kong ma-try ang iba’t ibang roles.

“‘Yun bang mga projects na di ko kayang gawin sa TV, dahil kay Kuya Ogie, nagawa ko ‘to.

“Dapat daw kasi may matinong kalaban si Boy Pick-Up para makuha ang contrast.”

Sa Boy Pick-Up pa rin, marami ang naiintriga sa sandamakamk na piercings na ginawa sa kanya rito.

“Mga dikit lang ‘yun pero ginawang parang totoo,” he avers smiling.

In a way, malaking factor ang pagkakasali rito ni Dennis para magkaroon ng challenge ang character ni Boy Pick -Up. Kahit man sa Hollywood, kumukuha sila ng mahuhusay na kontrabida para mag-work ang contrast sa isang pelikula.

In a way, malaking asset ng movie si Dennis dahil nagbibigay ng credibility ang kanyang appearance rito.

Showing na ang merger na ‘to ng GMA Films at Regal Entertainment on June 6 at cinemas near you.

Watch the genius of Direk Dominic Zapata at work and be convinced that the guy is one of today’s finest directors.

***

Endorsements ni Ate Vi, humahataw pa rin

I’M personally happy for Ms. Vilma Santos for the way her showbiz career appears to have mushroomed dramatically for the past few months.

Imagine, she’s been able to finish a quality movie (The Healing) with a multi-awarded director like Chito S. Rono no less, will soon be doing her first indie movie (barring some hitches that is) and her TV show at ABS-CBN is reportedly under wraps.

On the side, her political career is very much on the upswing and wonderful things are positively on her way.

On the 7th of this month, her first endorsement for the year 2012 will be having a presscon in one of the five-star hotels in Makati.

So far, her family life is doing exceedingly well and husband Senator Ralph Recto is now the epitome’ of an ideal husband.

To complete the happy family picture, her son Ryan is an ideal son and is fast growing up to be such a fine young gentleman.

What else could a woman ask for?

Lucky indeed, this Governor Vilma Santos Recto.

***

Na-trauma sa pabling na boyfriend

HAHAHAHAHA! Na-trauma pala ang gandarang young actress na ‘to sa naging abysmal outcome ng kanilang used to be intense love affair ng isang ilung young ham actor.

Ham actor raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

Totoo ka, dati, feeling niya’y nasa cloud nine siya dahil solicitous at caring kuno ang hunk young actor na gandara na ang kailungan dahil sa eskalerang nose job.

Nose job lang kaya? Hindi kaya meron ding blowjob on the side? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, the sexy young actress was intensely disappointed with her papa because he was easily cowed when her macho dad intervened and gave him more than a mouthful of warning. Hakhakhak!

Babaero siyempre si dad kaya knowsline niya ang mga diskarte ng young hunk actor. Hahahahahahaha!

Anyway, apart from dad’s macho intervention, one of the reasons why the young hunk decided to part ways with his flawless girlfriend was the supposed annoyance of his gay mama (gay mama raw, o! Hahahahahaha!) over his relationship with the flawless young actress.

Career siyempre ang vaklung kaya bow na lang ang Reggie Regaladong (Reggie regalado raw, o! Hakhakhak!) paparu.

Marami nga namang chicks riyan pero ang pabolosang gay lover ay bibihirang tunay, specially so when you’re not that tremendously well endowed. Ahahayyyyy! Hahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

***

Ngangaerang gurang, nanginginig na ang keps!

HAHAHAHAHA! What goes up, must come down. That, my dear, is the law of gravity.

And lately, Lola Fermi is purportedly feeling immensely insecure for she could feel the pangs of bad karma closing in on her aging ugly face with such demonic vengeance. Hahahahahahahaha!

I’m so happy! Hakhakhak!

Malapit na nga namang matapos ang kanyang veritably expensive three-year contract and she has this gut feeling that its renewal happens to be a remote possibility. Hahahahahahahaha!

How delectably nice! Hahahahahahaha!

Sino ba naman kasing baliw ang magpapakamartir na i-renew ang kontrata ng isang aging ngangaera na wala namang naibigay na ROI (return of investment) sa network na kanyang pinagtatrabahuhan, aber? Hahahahahaha!

Pa’no kasi, super baduy na at hindi na uso ang ganon sa new millennium. Hahahahahahaha!

Imagine, mga starlets lang kami before and yet we gave the network lots of moolah. Hahahahahaha!

Pero itong reyna raw ng intrega, este, intriga pala, (Hakhakhak!) ay pinagdirihan ng mga ad men at ayaw talagang lagyan ng ads ang kanyang walang kakatas-katas na show. Hahahahahahaha!

Good for you because you are delusory and unfeeling. Hahahahahahahaha!

Babutsh! Magnganga ka na lang sa Parada, Valenzuela city at baka kumita ka pa. Hahahahahahahaha!

Chhheeeaaaaappppppp!

***

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampoloquio@yahoo.com and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity.

Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

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